dizz + jizz

this world has never been enough for me

[autisticjonathanjoestar]

bouncing on it in repentance

[whyenn-reader]

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

[queer-as-city-folk]

I could take him

[laterkiss]

*flirting* are you ever repulsed by ur desires

[scorpionlafemme]

God forbid a girl be both kind and full of rage.

[thememedaddy]

[energyprison]

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

[thememedaddy]

[hangsawoman]

on this day in 1953 shirley jackson sent this to an unhappy reader

[firewalkwithmedvd]

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

[firewalkwithmedvd]

One of the most important critical texts of this century imo

[draconic-daughter]

Shoutout to all the trans girls out there who were forced to live as miserable boys during the 2000’s or 2010’s, missing out on all the weird sparkledog scene rawr xd era and who are now gloriously reclaiming this time in their adulthood. All power to you. Be blessed now and forever, colorful creatures. Go outshine god.

[ingridverse]

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Oh, dear. I can't reblog that fast enough.

[penny-anna]

Now you see, I’ve watched enough cartoons to know that this square of the carpet is on a separate animation cell from the background & therefore something funky will happen if I step on it. You won’t catch me making a rookie mistake like that no sir!

[lisaonatree]

Did you step on it?

[penny-anna]

I forgot it was there & stepped on it, plummeting through the concealed trapdoor into the cellars. Please send help.

[lisaonatree]

Help it’s on its way!

By the way, are the bricks all the same colour?

[penny-anna]

I can’t see anything! It’s pitch black down here. All that’s visible is my eyes.

[damndinarzade]

Just make sure there isn’t a second, more dangerous pair of eyes somewhere around yours

[secondmoredangerouseyes]

Hey

[tomb-mold]

can i come over and touch your things and belongings

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[omgsamchap]

I know this is horrible but this comment was left on a true crime youtube video and I cannot stop laughing. 

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]