Hello hello I disappeared again because lucky lucky me got sick ! But im feeling better now. No more disappearing from this point on, trust.
Gonna start off this pressure dump with an animation of my expendable OC Maria that i never finished. I started working on this in july, when i first started playing. Each scene took me like a day or two to paint, then another day to rig and animate. I was honestly working really fast, I definitely could have finished it if I didn't loose motivation.
Honestly surprised myself with the eyefishtation part when rewatching.. like I did that ?? How???
Here we have my very first canvases from July-September. These hopefully should all be in order.. I recommend to view this on mobile. I'll add alt text if the quality gets messed up and ruins anything I've written on them. I'm probably going to do it anyway because my hand writing is pretty bad,, These will also include a bunch of random ocs I'll probably be showcasing in the future.
I'll also put this animation here too since it was done in August yaya
These have the first concepts for Maria, Serenity, Heaven, and Chell. And of course my first attempts of drawing Sebastian.
Heaven and Serenity where originally supposed to be foils to each other-- A animalistic human and a humane animal. However, I quickly scrapped the concept when I established Heaven to be Black. Heaven was also supposed to have a deep hatred for Sebastian, blaming him for forgetting to open her cell during the lock down. Again-- this was changed after i did a complete 180 with Heaven's personality. Now, she willingly chose to stay in her cell during the lockdown because she was scared.
this is just a jail cell i made in blender for the animation above yaya
Funfact. Chell is orange because the people over on tiktok said they liked the orange. Otherwise i probably would have chosen her to be purple or red 💜
I kinda miss Chell's whiskers and how she used her tentacles as a mouth and eyebrow, but i think overtime i stopped drawing them because it cluttered her design. I tend to simplify my ocs the more i draw them, to make them easier to draw. I think i did have the idea of her eventually forgetting to use her tentacles as facial markers to show her own self dehumanization.
Sooo many more concepts.. including a humanoid version of Zerum's character.
There's also my first pass on Jesse's character (the bug guy). I remember posting the canvas he's on before, but i censored him cuz his design was ugly. I did plan to introduce him like a month ago with a new design but i held back bc i wanted him to have a colored ref... im sorry my handsome butch lesbian.. broken heart
Also sorry to my unnamed urbanshade worker that i drew like probably three times
Not too sure why i didn't post this here... i think i did on tiktok but as a private video but the quality was crunched so bad that i got pissed off and abandoned it. Oops
Here is when i actively started posting on Tumblr ! Not much to say here
Next up is the writing I have done in Obsidian. honestly, I don't like any of it and you're probably going to see that phrase repeated a lot in the screenshots.
I have a real bad habit of keeping all my ideas and lore in my head instead of writing it down, so that's why the vault is mostly empty.. I've added commentary sticky notes on the side yaya
This took SOOO long because of the writing IM SO SORY
There's so much missing, like i would wake up in the middle of the night remembering something I missed. But because Im no longer developing this story, I had to hold myself back from rewriting and adding stuff.
Next part is going to focus more on art and have tradition stuff too.. and not take a week to put together trust..
From this point on is when I really started liking my work. these should be from October-December
Theres going to be some pieces omitted from this post, but they're full pieces that I've already posted. I want to keep these posts tidy and not clutter them.
These were supposed to be in the first post but I forgot to add them.. Sticky notes were just painting Ideas I wanted to do.
I really like Maria and Seb singing together I think its so funny.
ooo this was meant to be a short video of these guys doing a "hear-me-out" cake. i have everything done but I just never put it together. This is one of the frames
Lots and lots of concepts.. including my first cowboy Seb.
I had plans to redraw a lot of these, specifically the post-mortem Seb. I think it's trash and every time I see it in my notif box I shake with anger
waaahhh I drew Seb and Lia as babies;; I had a bunch of little paintings planned of the solace siblings as little kids, all of them heavily based on pictures of me and my siblings.. I did this one but wanted to restart because it wasn't stylized enough
I remember posting a wip of this on the writing division discord. It was supposed to be a young Mr. Shade w/ Mrs. Shade and Lopee. idk who the woman closest to the camera is.. probably should have removed her or blurred her out since she takes away the focus from the other two.
these cowboy Sebs i never posted because i thought they were UGLY. Looking back, they're not bad, i just being hard on myself.
OOUUJJ this was a list of things i wanted to do/finish;;;;
I really wanted to do the PMV with MCR's Cancer.. I think it fits Seb so well but I never started it ouuh
Chell's "I Heard Your Voice Again" was meant to be an animated comic. It would have started with Painter and Chell playing around, Chell making random sounds and Painter having to guess what they were. Eventually, Chell would hum Seb's song which he would hear over the walkie talkie and *politely* ask her to cut it out.
This is just more lists and some world building. Canon Pressure's setting was in Roblox, but I wanted to remove it from that context in my OC AU.
Like last time I'm going to add more writing I've done. I like these a lot more than the obsidian stuff
This last one I planned to make into a comic with Isaias and Cherry. She was going to ask him about his necklace and this would have been have been his dialogue.
I can hopefully fit the rest in one more post ? hopefully
there was also an animation i wanted to add to this post.. but i think it deleted it's self.. ooops
Took a shot at making those little ragdoll guys I keep seeing on tik tok, do NOT recommend making a small one on the first go, that was NOT awesome. Still fun though
Painter is VERY fun to throw around lol, looks like a FOOL.
Also if you see any of your blorbos here, feel free to just take it.. or ask me for a slightly higher res screenshot.. me = idc
The second canvas has one of Heaven's outfit concepts. I didn't go with this one since it looked too "nurse-y"
Same canvas has the comic idea I teased before. It's a Chell and Seb comic, Chell finds the photo in Sebastian's shop and decides to mess with him by pretending to be Zerum.
I think the reason I never really started it was because I didn't know how Sebastian would react. There was two scenarios I flipped between-- Seb gets very rightfully upset and shoots Chell, or Seb just yells at her to get out and then he has a little breakdown.
i've shown Chell and Seb to be pretty physically violent with each other before, but that would have been pretty early on in their relationship; before they learned that they cannot *really* hurt each other (Chell is too week and doesn't have a normal nervous system). Later on, and after the burning with Maria, Chell would take a more emotional and psychological approach to hurting Seb. And after that, Seb would have also learned that anything he did, did not affect Chell in a way that mattered. Soo.. bascially i was choosing between "A more canon result that other people would understand" or "whatever tf I was doing".
I guess there was also the question of "Would Sebastian shoot someone who looks like the person he used to love". mmm idk. shrugs
theres actually some very nice Sebastians here. I dont know why i didn't post them
lots of cowboy stuff here
fun fact-- the red poncho design has Mapuche patterns on it. I found a pdf that explained what everything meant but it tried to make me pay for downloading it. so i.... stole it. bc why are you gatekeeping MY CULTURE FROM ME
this is the paid work I made for the team.
I do want to say that I saw some people theorize who the people in the background were; so I'll come out and say that they are not Isaias or mama Solace. They're just my OCs Im so sorry for tricking yall,, but its lowkey my fault for making them more detailed than needed 😭😭😭
lots of stuff here.. including Jesse's redesign. I was also creating a new OC but I couldn't really find a design I liked.
I also tried making a western Serenity design;; but i really did not like it,,, she looks so weird with ears
There's some silly stuff with Isaias and an OC too. I draw them a bit more later, I think they're cute
I started working on a Lopee puppet in Flash just to test myself, checking if I still remembered how to do it. But halfway through I noticed that I did everything wrong so I needed to restart; I wanted to do it later so i just left it
aww some human designs on the first canvas top right. so cute
Second canvas definitely has my favorite Serenity drawings I did. I had plans to dress her in more "theatrical" costumes
The bottom left painting was meant to be posted after April fools to follow up the Chell and Seb hugging painting. But I didn't like it so i gave up
Here is a painting I started planning and the last doodles I made before everything came out
This was a painting i did with my finger on my phone. Not really pressure related besides the Seb on the shoulder. But I dont have anywhere else to put it so I'll just throw it in here
I made this painting a while ago, but I never posted it because the camera didn't pick up the colors accurately and i got mad about it..
This was planning for a Binomi animation i wanted to make
A lot of these pages have random stuff on them, but I still wanted to include them
please ignore the lesbian vampires.
I wanted to fill this spread with sketches of Chell and Seb as humans. I've left it blank but I might come back to it and fill it with something else. I hate wasting space in a sketchbook
uu my Seb figure I planned to post but never did.. Im not too sure why I did that.
he took like.. two weeks to make ? and his lure is really big. I used embroidery thread for it. He looks so silly ! I used air dry clay and dropped him like twice while making him. Im most proud of his face. all hand painted. I wanted to make a second one at some point as well
aaand that should be everything !! I'm very happy with how my art has ended up, and again I want to thank everyone who joined me on this journey.
I haven't been drawing much lately, but I do have stuff built up because I forced myself to not to post anything until I finished dumping my Pressure stuff.. so that hopefully soon.
I should probably also say that I'm completely rewriting the Oil Spill au to be my own thing so yaya more cowboy stuff always. okay bye
Not a fan of drawing Painter with a humanoid body, don't like making him too people like. But I absolutely love him as a little monoblock on tiny tank treads, with a goofy claw arm uwu
Gonna fill the silence a bit with some sketches I did a few days ago, while I'm still mulling over refs. Like I said, I wanna give Seb and PRV a lil redesign, nothin wild, just enough to make me smile when I look at em
Not usually my thing to share stuff like this, but why not aha. In case anyone s curious about the scribblings of a crazy person aja
you guys were so enthusiastic it made my spark come back i think so i also made this. it's only fair for their face reveals to be done through gay evil kissing i came to think.
little worldbuilding bonus v
also made this evil logo for the evil company which ill probably called invocation corp in honour of unrequited salvation au!
krita admittedly might not be the best for making clean logos, or maybe thats a skill issue on my part, but i do like how it came out regardless... and it actually has a lot of symbolism with i like about it a lot :D
during this time, its important to continue showing our support to Ren, given what they went through and given what ive heard about responses to the doc
(starting off with this cause its important), if youre unsure of how to do this, i believe the best ways currently are:
- stop playing pressure, dont buy the gamepasses or ugc, reach out to makeship for a refund (if youve bought the figurine)- essentially do not give the game and devs any financial support
- go to Ren's socials and express your support/ give positive words
- make your stance and support clear
- listen to Ren's music (all of the money from streams and youtube views should go to them and them only!)
(these are the ways im aware of currently, but if theres more, which i assume there is, please add those in the comments!! just cause i think itll be easier to find that way?)
though alongside this, as some people have pointed out, its also important to take care of ourselves.
(i go through some context and then what actions ive taken that i think have helped me through these times below vv. i just felt that it was important to have this ^^ have more attention, cause theres a lot of writing from now on)
pressure was special to a lot of us. for me, is was the first piece of media i got so hyperfixated onto, ive never gotten this attached to any other media i like. but this is also the first time ive experienced having a hyperfixation be tainted like this. and, for a lot of us, it currently feels like we're missing a part of ourselves, or we're struggling to 'turn off' the love we have for the game
so, as someone whos experiencing this for the first time and surprisingly feels a lot better compared to yesterday (although its probably cause ive started moving to the stage of anger), heres some things ive done that i believe has contributed to me calming down because i want to try and offer as much support as i can to those going through the same thing
this may not work for everyone, but im hoping something here will at least help one person. if i can do that, and possibly encourage others to leave their own tips, then ill be happy
(i will ramble a little bit about my own experience and what ive done/ felt specifically. this is not for 'sympathy points', you do not have to comment on these and i dont expect you to.
but i believe that if you understand where my advice is coming from, youll be better able to understand why i think it may work, and youll be able to decide whether itll work for you or not, based on the context it worked for me)
play other games you currently enjoy and have enjoyed in the past.
this is one ive seen a few people mention now, and i do agree that its helpful! BUT, i need to also point out that this may not help immediately.
yesterday, i tried to play Journey. its been a while since ive played it, and it has a lot of sentimental value to me. i got through a lot of the game and then i physically had to stop and leave, because i felt so hollow and playing the game only worsened that.
theres a chance that this could happen. but dont give up if it does! id recommend doing some other things on this list and then going back to the same/ a different game. this is what i did! i took a break from Journey, did something else, then played Untitled Goose Game, and i found it a lot easier! and it helped me calm down and relax a bit
2. watch some videos youve laughed at before
this is what i did when playing games didnt help. before this, with every reminder of what happened and what Ren went through, i kept crying and needing a few minutes to try and recollect myself. it was rough, and emotionally i was super down. so, i just put up some old silly videos and watched them (specifically, i found some of slimecicles old videos with friends, cause watching a group of friends act like idiots in games is delightful to me). and although initially it didnt do much, i did eventually start to laugh, and that really helped bring my mood up
you can also do something alongside this, to try and stimulate your brain more. for me, i started lightly doodling in the evening, and that helped my mind stop wandering a bit-
3. eat at least three meals a day!!!
this ones important, and one ive regrettably neglected, so maybe i dont have a say in this, BUT this is something to focus on!!! and im not saying to make three full meals a day, but at least eat something for the meals youd have-
this can be anything, as long as you eat!! because something is better than nothing!!! it also helps to make foods you genuinely like!! i struggled to eat yesterday and i assumed i would today too, especially since i skipped when id usually have lunch (which, for context, is usually a 'game over' for me. if i dont eat food on time, i then cannot eat food until the next meal time comes around-). but then i remembered i had most of the stuff to make a burrito ive been looking forwards to, and it got me to get up and actually make food!!
it can also help to get one of those meal replacement drinks if you can! ive seen some people be judgy about them or find them weird, but (at least the ones available to me) they do have everything you need to substitute a meal. i dont think its a good idea to have them for every meal of the week, but those can help if youre really struggling to make food, or eat!
4. talk to people!
this doesnt have to be about how youre feeling/ pressure, though if you think itd benefit to get your thoughts out, go for it.
for me, i just had some friends reach out about casual stuff. and although it was tricky for me to respond initially, especially with how low energy i was, it did help to focus on something else more positive.
i 100% recognise that responding to messages will be difficult, especially because it may feel like a chore. thats how its been for me, though i also understand im probably feeling that at a less intense level. but i would recommend trying. you dont have to put in the effort to respond how you usually do either, make it as easy for you at possible.
for me, i just told a friend i wouldnt be able to respond to every individual thing she sends like i usually do, but that shes free to still send stuff that ill at least put a emoji reaction to. and she understood, and that was it. theres no pressure for me to put all my energy into the interaction, but im still responding and doing something other than sitting with my thoughts, which isnt good for me- (and i get to see funny lil videos thatll hopefully cheer me up-)
5. if youre an artist like me, draw something.
it can be absolutely anything. dont draw it with the expectation of making something good. dont draw it with the expectation of posting it. just draw something for yourself.
i almost spent the entire day yesterday not drawing. which felt weird, because ive been almost drawing non stop for the past couple of weeks. or, at the very least ive been looking forwards to drawing something. so, i think me suddenly not having the energy to do so contributed to everything feeling worse.
so, i doodled. not anything special, nothing ill show. just lil doodles of a redesign. and although i didnt get far, although i didnt have much energy for it, it did help me feel a little better, it made my day feel a little more 'normal'. i did this alongside watching videos, so that may be good to do!
(you also dont have to draw something specific! i didnt do this, but sometimes it can be nice to literally just scribble on a piece of paper and get your emotions out through that. do what feels right to you)
6. (this ones a random one, but) have a small wet towel for your neck/ face
this is something i dont have proof that it works, but something i just sort of do and trust when im feeling especially anxious and overwhelmed.
the idea is that a cold towel (SPECIFICALLY COLD) against my face/ neck will let my brain focus on that sensation, and therefore calm down. like throwing cold water on your face to wake up. (it also has the added benefit of letting you dry your tears while stopping your eyes from feeling so heavy and puffy afterwards : D )
again, this isnt one i can confirm actually works. but its what i did throughout the day and when i went to sleep. during the day, i just had it on my neck, and then used it to wipe my eyes and face (to mimic splashing my face with cold water), and then for the night i just laid that towel over my face, specifically my eyes, and tried to relax. and id say its helped? if youre able to try it, it may be worth it regardless, in case you get a placebo effect-
7. think about your music choices!!!
this is coming from the belief that music can absolutely have an impact on your emotions. i strongly believe this, and im conscious of this whenever im feeling a certain emotion strongly.
id suggest to stay away from overly sad songs. im not saying to go for overly happy and upbeat songs, though. you can if youd like and youre feeling up to it! but for me, that feels weirdly tone deaf and i think id actually feel worse if i did that-
so, id suggest looking for calm songs that have a positive message, or at the very least arent sad. id recommend the 5AM album by Amber Run, and the Atlas: Ennenagram album by Sleeping At Last! these are both albums that have calm songs, but arent necessarily sad, and most of them have a positive message! and i think these songs are important in the current moment, because it feels less like theyre trying to force me to be happy, and it feels more reassuring and soft, without amplifying my sadness
8. start working on something!!
this is vague, though only cause it could apply to literally anything.
for example, i was already stressing about a lot before the document came out. and after reading the document, i became uncomfortable with the idea of posting pressure related stuff. but there are certain aspects i want to be okay with (eg cedar), so id need to think about what to do, which is another thing on my 'to do list' that im stressing about.
so, i actually tried tackling some of them. i tried attempting to write a story for cedar to exist in, and i doodled vague ideas for a sebastian redesign for this story. i havent done more, and it may take a bit for me to get back to it, but i started something. and although those tasks arent done by any means, it did make me feel a bit better, cause it was one less thing bouncing around in my head.
so, if youre stressing about something directly tied to the current situation (like redesigns/ a rewrite), or even if its just something else youve put off for a long time in general, try starting one of those tasks without the expectation of finishing it. it can help, and at the very least it may make things feel less overwhelming
some extra general tips that id like to offer, just based on what i try to do to cheer up/ feel better:
give yourself a treat!! for me, if im struggling to do something, or i feel especially anxious, i like to find something that ive been saving up, put on a funny video, and eat it. i did this a few hours ago with an ice cream sandwich after actually making my first meal (as a lil reward for that and doing uni work), but you can also just do this if you feel your mood going down!!! so id recommend trying it if you can, you deserve something nice : D
wear something warm!!! i tend to get quite shaky when anxious, so i like to put a hoodie on or something warm in an attempt to trick my brain by saying 'hey!! im wearing something warm! therefore im not cold, i can stop shaking!' and although it may take some time to work, it does eventually help and make me feel better
let yourself cry, let yourself ramble to yourself. i do the latter moreso, cause it can help to understand how youre feeling and process that. crying can help as well, cause it lets you release your emotions, but i do understand that that isnt something everyone will easily be able to do. its not something i can do easily, even though ive cried a lot-
journaling also helps!!! thinking and rambling about your emotions is one thing, but actually writing them down can help you process them easier!! and then theres the added benefit of being able to spot patterns over time that you can then tackle!!
remember, youre not in the wrong for grieving a comfort game. i can confidently say that a lot of us are grieving not because we feel like we have to leave the game behind, but because we dont feel good about the game anymore. we know what happened to Ren, and we're choosing to go through this because we cannot in our good conscience continue to support the game. and thats okay
so, do what you can, take care of yourselves, and continue showing your support to Ren.
(if you have anything else you want to add on, either for tips or how to support Ren, feel free to put them in the comments!!!
i highly encourage you to leave your own tips, cause i recognise that a lot of what works for me may not work for others for multiple reasons, and id like it if there were more options for people to try-)
Sorry I haven't been posting art lately. I just think some things are more important.
Update:
Zeal uploaded an hour and 33 minute video of himself crying & blaming Ren, while romanticizing the rape.
He continues to argue that "she asked him to kiss him," blatantly ignoring the fact he then took the full mile and forced himself upon her.
He claims "I didn't assault you, I loved you." And also claimed that September 4th, the day he raped her, was the best day of his life.
He apologizes to Work at a Pizza Place for some fucking reason
He then continues asking Ren "why is she doing this to him."
Now in the discord server, Zeal is pretending to be his mom and now threatening legal action against her.
He continues to throw the claim that "she assaulted him" and argue that "it was mutual and consensual" in the same breath.
In regard to the other pressure developers involved:
Zerum has deleted evidence of her villanizing Ren and protecting Zeal off her Twitter, and is now claiming to have supported Ren this entire time and to have no knowledge of Zeal's treatment toward her. She also posted "I fully support Zeal" on her strawpage before changing it saying it was a mistake, then claiming to get hacked. She then deleted the strawpage.
She released a statement on her Twitter saying that she fully supports Ren, while having Ren blocked.
Many people had come out against Zerum, explaining how she exploited her artists for free art, and even actually stole Sebastian's entire design.
Kat had deactivated and is likely waiting for this to pass. Do not let her forget that she too enabled a rapist and helped silence a victim.
Wil was caught grooming minors into stalking people for them & the pressure team. Wil too is trying to save face by denouncing Zeal and claiming they didn't know, when they too had full knowledge of Ren's assault and helped Zeal silence her.
Do not let any of them forget.
Link to Zeal's "suicide" vid. He's doing this solely as an attempt to further guilt trip and manipulate Ren into taking down her statements against him.
Zeal larping as his mom in the official pressure discord server:
(EDIT: So I'm editing this for the sole reason of being embarrassed
Not because I want to retract any support for Ren.
But when I typed this out, I was really REALLY upset and emotional, if it's not clear just by reading it. I didn't think I needed to make a statement, and I still don't. I've posted very little, majorly staying a quiet participant in the pressure community. I did it because I thought it would make me feel better. It didn't, it mostly made me feel worse.
But straight up deleting this feels a little wrong. I might in a month or so, there are many more much more helpful and supportive responses out there. This is just an emotional outburst lol. Seeing this rant on my profile was just making me embarassed)
Regarding the situation, I am in full support of Ren. Please please go support her. Thankfully, she's been doing well recently, keep sending her that love!
Zeal is absolutely vile and I can't stand to know that I've devoted so much of my time, love, and money to what he stands for. The dev team is scum for covering this up and not speaking up. I've read the entire document, and I implore you to read it if you haven't. As someone who has also been sexually assaulted, it struck a chord with me. And seeing others come forward with the abuse they experienced, as in the artists, is sickening to see, to know that it's so deeply rooted in something I loved. And good on all the voice actors for quitting so quickly, it's extremely admirable. Gianni leaving was so heartbreaking to hear, as he and his whole role as Sebastian was definitely a major contributor to the charm of the game. He's incredible.
Regarding what I'm going to do going forward, I'm at a loss. I don't want to upset anybody, or be insensitive, but Sebastian and the story of pressure is something I cherish very deeply. While I never posted much about it, me and my friends had already reworked and created our own world surrounding the story of pressure. I may continue with this, treating the characters of pressure as characters of my own.
I believe that the characters and the story do not have to be tied to everything horrible that happened. I respect any decision to delete it all, but don't feel guilt for what you had created. We didn't know at the time.
It's too hard for me to suddenly rip away something that has been hardwired into my brain for over a year now. I have NEVER enjoyed a media quite like I have Pressure. Never created so much fanart (I drew a lot personally), never created fandom ocs I cherished so deeply, and never absolutely loved a character more than I do Sebastian. It's been all I've thought about for forever, and now I just feel lost. I've been crying about it non-stop.
If I continue to draw pressure-related content, it is not in any way in support of Zeal and his team.
The game is over. Do not support it anymore.
To everyone in the community and who've left, I adored my time loving this game with you all so much. I know I never posted much, but it meant more to me than you'll know. Seeing everything you all made and how much love was for this game, it was genuinely beautiful.
To all my mutuals, I love you all and I cherish the interactions we had, though very brief and few. I loved watching you from afar lol. No matter if this leads you away from the fandom or not, I'll love to see what you all create.
origamiaround
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