Call Me Jade

Professional Best Friend | Occasional Asshole | I'm kind of funny sometimes.

[zanabism-deactivated20200529]

all these men want casual no strings attached relationships then wonder why they keep slipping into pits of like sorrow and intermittent depression in the moments they’re too sober. Like when all you’ve done is compartmentalize affection to the point where it’s just a transaction to you, or a point of maintenance you have to fulfill every few nights, you *will* suffer consequences. your heart *will* eventually feel heavy when you start to remember all your missed connections, and all the opportunities to feel genuine love for another person. like this sort of selfishness comes with a price, there’s like a debt to be paid here

[prospects]

[clownpicture-deactivated2015021]

[kittyvines]

[daily-showerthoughts]

Procrastinating is just enjoying all of the side quests of life while delaying the real mission at hand

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via lowghen)

[s-t-y-l-e-t-s]

[shencomix]

We go forward.

[hold-a-lover-close-blog-deactiv]

This is too deep to comprehend.

[haleepls]

Stop it

[alltheselittlevoices]

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE FUNNY

[hello-nice-to-misha]

:(((((

[pohtaytoes]

I’M NOT CRYING YOU ARE

[fuckyeahcomicsbaby]

IT Workers Share the Most Idiotic Things Non-Techies Have Told Them

[kawaiijetty-deactivated20181204]

Yup

[angrybeardedbastard]

I feel this deeply

[senpaipunk]

So apparently no one should ever buy sugarless Haribo gummy bears

[awwnutbunnies]

Fun fact: I once bought sugar free gummy bears. 

This is exactly what happened

[kyuubified]

Petition for Youtubers to start doing the “Sugarless Gummy Bear Challenge”

[alexturnermilk-deactivated20140]

FINALLY I FIND THIS SO I CAN SHOW THE WORLD THIS HAS TO BE SEEN

[lesbianhaircut]

my cousins ate a bunch of these once and got sick as hell

my mom told me it’s because they ate too much candy

now i know it was a LIE

[sneakyfeets]

I’ve read through this every time it’s crossed my dash and every single time I start crying from laughter

[seductressslutty]

sometimes I forget this exists and then I’m reminded

[multiclassed-deactivated2019020]

there are ver very VERy few posts that actually make me sob and my ribs hurt from laughter. this has won an award for THE MOST AMAZING THING I WILL EVER NEED FOR CHEERING UP EVER.

[bearer-of-bad-decisions]

family feud is a national treasure 

[zoomine]

[myonlyphenomenon]

I’ve been staring at this for 5 minutes

[dont-kill-the-kennedys]

That’s what it looks like. That’s really what it looks like

[avesatanaa]

Being out in the ocean is actually so scary because when you look really far out you can kind of see how the Earth is rounded out. It looks like a few miles ahead you’re just gonna fall off or something. Also fun trick: if ur on mobile, double tap zoom in and slide the picture side to side. It looks like you’re actually there looking left to right

[norulesnobras]

DO THAT DO IT RIGHT NOW

[awwww-cute]

A 2 week old lemming in a spoon (Source: http://ift.tt/2lmfIsE)

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

[thewickedavatar]

[doctaar]

someone: what's wrong?

me, torn between the need to overshare and the fear of people Knowing about me: um

[onlytwitterpics]

[kimheeaes]

#CristinaYangConfidenceLevel

[yungblkfeminist]

Screw beautiful. I’m brilliant.

[earthstory]

[humanpersonface]

I clicked sound expecting some tumblr shit where there’s some heavy metal playing or something, but instead it was the sounds of its little hooves clapping against the wet sand as a bird gently cried in the distance and that’s so great.