So I got my wisdom teeth removed a few days ago, and I'm suffering a lot. And there's a lot of things I wish someone would have told me before I got them yanked out, so I'm here to tell YOU those things before YOU get YOURS out.
1. Your throat will hurt. Oh my God will it ever. You'd think a surgery regarding teeth would leave your throat alone, but no. Your throat will hurt so god damn much during the first few days.
2. Say goodbye to solid foods for at LEAST a week. Bonus: say goodbye to opening your mouth in general, too. I can barely open my mouth wide enough to fit a spoon in it.
3. NO STRAWS OW OWIE NO STRAWS OW.
4. I hope you like yogurt! You're going to get so tired of pudding and jello and apple sauce over the next few days. I'm not the biggest fan of meat but the things I would do to be able to bite into a nice, juicy, succulent steak right now would get me thrown in jail.
5. THE STITCHES WILL GET ON YOUR NERVES BUT DONT MESS WITH THEM. They hurt. Everything hurts.
6. You WILL look like you just got done deepthroating a beehive. Your cheeks will be swollen, nothing you can do about it.
7. You WILL have trouble speaking because your mouth (mainly tongue) will be numb for DAYS.
DO
NOT
BITE
DOWN.
FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING YOU ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH HOLES IN YOUR MOUTH DONT MAKE NEW ONES.
And finally:
8. Don't panic if you spit up blood the first day or two, it's honestly expected.
Good luck to everyone who needs to get their wisdom teeth yanked. Just take the meds, stock up on ice packs, and get LOTS of rest. Do that and you'll be fine.
