tap water enjoyer @hanavesinauttija - Tumblr Blog

When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"

tlirsgender

[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]

Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post

tlirsgender

Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda

tlirsgender

Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider

tlirsgender

Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

tlirsgender

Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

aesungaia

escapism

ruderubicante

A Love for Ignorance

csny

this is sort of sickening to me. can they swap

innerchildabortionclinic

no it's fine scroll through tiktok on maximum volume in a tiny break room at work

devivi-lish

one of my coworkers does this but its AI generated divorce revenge stories

innerchildabortionclinic

anthonydoingstuff

Kim Kittsuragi

shittyiteratornames

"Rain World Tips" is an official Shitty Iterator Name

rainworldtips

well maybe its actually a Good iterator name or even one of tge Greatest i dont know who died and made you the grand authority on such thigns

snarp

"Neue" commedia dell'arte stock characters include:

* The little German boy

* The girlboss

* The overdressed antebellum Southern gentleman

* The chad and the incel

* The empath and the sociopath

* Jesse Pinkman and Walter White

* Drake

* Grimes

* Ea-Nasir

* Stray Cat J

* Apollo (unseen; depicted only as a dodgeball thrown onto the stage to briefly strike another archetype with the Gift of Prophecy)

* Shinzo Abe

* Jerma

* The pornbot

* and Rom, the Vacuous Spider

snarp

Though many of these commedia dell'arte characters are now obsolete or shot with a device, Rom has maintained her cultural relevance.

molabuddy

⚽ඞ ඞඞ ඞ among us babies play foot ball

questionablepastries

⚽️ 💥 💥💥 💥

SAY GOODBYE INFANTS.

HATE AND WAR ON EARTH

punished-venom-solitair-e

spider-woman (petra parker) villains react to her coming out as trans

kingpin: ...this changes nothing.

electro: [very clearly uncomfortable but not willing to interrogate what that says about himself] so is this, like, a permanent thing?

rhino: you are...AH!! [drops the bags of money he's holding and gives spider-woman a bone-crushing hug] MY FRIEND!!! YES!!! my cousin's wife, she is like you as well! beautiful woman. maybe you know her? you do not? is not how that works? i see. you two must meet. we will arrange dinner after i break out from raft again. uhp--no arguments. i have decided.

vulture: this is exactly what fox news warned me about...

green goblin: good for you, bug! though don't think i'll go easy on you because of this. after all, you and i both know i don't have a problem killing girls! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

sandman: [after five minutes of failed explanations] oh, like the thing rhino's cousin's wife has

white rabbit: girl!!! me too!!! no way!!! you know, this is perfect timing actually, beetle and i have been looking for a third, if you're interested...

lizard: [really not getting it] ssssso you have to inject yoursssself with girl DNA how often? seemssssss inefficient. you know, connorsssss only injected himself with lizard DNA the once. maybe you ssshould assssk him to make girl DNA for you.

doc ock: [known the whole time] so...you finally figured it out.

mysterio: [trying to fuck with her] so...you finally figured it out.

mr. negative: [gives a single, curt nod and doesn't say anything but makes sure to gender her correctly during their fight]

morbius: HISSSSSSSS!! spider-man!! vhat brings you to zhis dark corner of the city, at so late an--vhat? spider...woman now? [drops the accent] oh hey that's sick. listen if you need an endocrinologist i know a guy. he's over in brooklyn so it's a bit out of the way--oh you're going to diy? no that makes sense. hey, i really appreciate you telling me. no it's no problem at all. thanks! [starts doing the accent again] NOW BEGONE!!! FROM MY LAIR!!!!

electro again: [still really uncomfortable] i just don't think it's an unfair question to ask. remember that time you were like all mean and had the four extra arms and you said shit like "the die is cast?" how do i know this isn't another one of your phases?

carnage: [sprinting down the street on all fours holding the first syllable of a slur like piccolo charging his special beam cannon] fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFAGGOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

black cat: don't get the surgery