#extradirty
will byers stan first human second
styofa doing anything
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shark vs the universe
⁂
Misplaced Lens Cap
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wallacepolsom
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
ojovivo
todays bird
dirt enthusiast
d e v o n
tannertan36
Origami Around
Keni
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macklin celebrini has autism
Jules of Nature
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seen from T1
seen from Germany
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@doctorwyatt
Hey guess who just logged in here again for a stroll down memory lane!
I got into some RP stuff recently with some friends irl and it got me all nostalgic, so it was time for my once every year and bit scroll of this dashboard and my post history. Good times, I miss y'all.
Do feel free to shoot me a message here if you want my Discord or something, I'm always happy to chat!
(( Man I log into this account periodically and it’s weird to be scrolling through old RPs and stuff! The amount of nostalgia is insane. ))
New life
*dusts off blog*
[ Room Service ]
Wheatley jostled in his grip, moving every part that was capable in some wild glancing effort to predict the end of the man’s sentence. It should have been obvious. There really wasn’t an alternative available unless the cryo wing also housed some untested prototypes in these clusters of toppled filing cabinets.
“Is it? Easy? Because I can’t help but notice that you weren’t so on top of that whole pull me back up part of this plan, not sure if that’s going to affect your lowering me down again skills— okay, we’re just doing it, that’s fine.” His commentary continued to uphold a remarkable standard of being absolutely useless. The man was going with the plan and the core could do little more than dart his pinprick iris down into the drop with fright before helplessly steeling himself for round two.
“If you do drop me, this time,” He did what he did best when nervous; talked even more. Relentless as his voice may have been, it thankfully didn’t impede the scientist’s job of descending the core back into the darkness, his dancing flashlight soon highlighting the catwalk in question anxiously. “If you do, just let it be known that I went into this plan bravely. Led the charge. Front of the pack. Feel free to drop the word hero in there, anywhere at all, to spice it up, I don’t mind that—”
The words hiccuped as the catwalk drew near, the sway of the cable amplified now that he had a solid object to acknowledge just how much he was moving. “Oh, ohh, are you coming down yet? I’d love to not be here. Just checking in, can’t see you, hoping you’ve stuck with the original plan. Hello?”
Wyatt rolled his eyes as he started lowering the poor core back into the dark.
“Hero. Yeah sure, whatever you want...” he said as the flashlight disappeared again. Wyatt was lowering the core more slowly this time, mostly due to the fact he had just realized that as soon as he was out of cable he would have to climb down after it. Suddenly his idea seemed very stupid and very dangerous. His knees started to get a bit shaky as he remembered how hard climbing the ropes in elementary school gym class had been.
He heard some muffled shouting from below, and the cable went taut. This is it, he thought. He wished he had stuck followed through on his New Years resolution of visiting the gym each week. Reaching up, Wyatt wrapped his hands around the cable and pulled himself up with an embarrassingly large amount of effort. After some struggle he got one leg up and around it as well, and using the knots as footholds he began to make his way down.
It was completely dark even just a few feet into the pit, the soft glow of the portal was almost impossible to see and the flashlight of the core was still a pinprick in the distance. Hesitating for a moment to take a few deep breaths, Wyatt continued. This was all worth it for the promotion he was sure it would get him.
The cable jerked around erratically as he laboriously climbed down it. After what seemed like eternity he was near enough to the bottom to make out the catwalk the core was hanging above.
He never thought he would be happy to see the construct, but he was almost smiling as he saw it’s optic.
[ Room Service ]
Oh thank god. The man could pull him up. Sort-of. There were a few truly terrifying incidents of the cable giving unexpected slack, dumping the core a sudden yank-and-bounce deeper into the chute, each time winning a short-yell and panicked gibberish. “That’s not up, that’s not up! Try the other direction- yes, like that, keep doing th-” Another drop. “– are you doing this on purpose?!”
Accusations aside, the man somehow managed to haul the machine up from it’s certain doom and roll it to safety atop the collection of boxes. Wheatley was breathing heavily by the time he landed, an amazing feat for something that neither breathed, did the work nor could feel exhaustion. A handle pinned against the box, creasing the lid heavily, to become a kickstand that balanced him from rolling merrily off to the floor of the room.
“That was awful. Do- do we have a better plan of how to get down there? I know, I suggested this, let’s tie stuff together, I said. Now that I’ve personally tried it? Absolutely horrible, can’t see what the appeal was, clearly I was grabbing at strings with this idea.” He paused, blinking a bit rapidly before his mood swapped completely with a short laugh. “Oh! Wait! That’s a p- grabbing at strings, ropes, ha, look at that. Pun. Just nailed it without even trying!”
That being said, the cable was likely the only way and he really shouldn’t be trying to talk the man out of it. He needed him down there to put him back on the rail. After that? Well, he forgot what he had even said to lure him to want to do this in the first place. Soon as he had that rail again? He didn’t much need the human after that.
Panting, Wyatt sat down on the tower to recover from lifting the heaviest thing he had lifted since his days as an engineer. The core continued its seemingly endless stream of conversation; it was evidently very proud of its ability to make puns while it made him question the entire plan.
Climbing down the cable would be frightening for sure, but no where near as difficult as climbing back up. He was almost hoping that the core was from another Aperture so he wouldn’t have to bring it back up the cable later. For yet another moment, Wyatt began to wonder if he should just leave and make this some intern’s problem.
No, he couldn’t do that. Massaging his temples, he became absent minded in thought as he decided what to do. Tying the core to the cable, lowering it down, and climbing down after it would be easiest. When it was time to come back he could just reverse the process. So simple a grade school student could have figured it out! Wyatt glanced at his PhD which was hanging askew above the remains of his desk and felt a bit mad at himself. He stood up with a groan.
“Although you raise a fair point,” he said sarcastically as he picked the core up again. “this is the easiest way in my point of view, so that’s what we’re going with.”
He raised the core up to the portal again and prepared to lower it down, adjusting the position of the cable in the hopes of having it end up directly above the desired catwalk.
(( So even though I really just started being active after who knows how long, I’m actually leaving on a trip tomorrow for about a week. I might have Internet access, but don’t expect me to be too active! ))
[ Room Service ]
Bracing himself as best he could on the tower, Wyatt slowly let the cable slide through his hands and lower the core down into the abyss. The glow of the flashlight got farther and farther away, and Wyatt was having difficulty seeing anything for himself. Hopefully there was something he could safely walk on. He called down into the pit.
“Can you see anything useful?”
The cable was now completely extended and sat taut on the edge of the portal. Soon the part Wyatt had been most worried about would come - pulling the core back up. It might even be easier for him to just shimmy down the extended cable.
Or maybe he could just leave? Get Maintenance to seal over the door to his office and relocate to somewhere new. No one would have to know what had really happened, he was sure he could make something up. Waiting for an answer, Wyatt glanced to the open office door. He could just make a break for it if he didn’t get a response.
Wheatley had made a lot of bad choices in his life but, in this present moment, he decided to put this one at the top. Here he was, precariously hung over certain doom, relying on some stranger he met less than an hour prior who he would describe politely as unreliable. Blimey, the tosser left foot prints all over his hull like he was some sort of football. If that didn’t top the charts of someone not to place imaginary bets on in the partner department then he couldn’t imagine what did.
“Umm.” The core called back in a high, thin voice, reaching remarkably high octaves of terror. His glance flitted around wildly, trying so very hard to ignore the down that bothered him the most, and was rewarded with the realisation that there was a catwalk above him. He must have shimmied past it during the lowering, it was a few good feet out from him being able to batter into it anyway.
“Yes, hold on, found one! There’s one, right above me, practically whole! No idea how far down I am, is this what splunking is like? Nevermind, I don’t know why I asked that– I’m panicking, that’s why, solved it already– can I come back now?! It’s not that I’m afraid of heights, no, I’m bold as brass, if that’s a saying, but I’m just getting this distinct feeling that I’m going to fall and die! … hang on, that might’ve been the definition of a fear of heights.” The words only came faster the more anxious and afraid the core became, his iris but a fleck of burning white frantically trying to escape his lens as though he could spot some sort of better option to save him. Stunningly it only made the stress worse.
Wyatt was only half listening, as much of his brain was focused on how much time it was going to take to get a new office set up. He had absolutely loved the corner room! Even if the window only looked out on to the elevator, it was still better than being stuffed up in a cubicle all day. He was about to start thinking about office space he could take from a coworker when the word ‘yes’ snapped him out of his trance.
‘Oh great...’ he thought. ‘Looks like I’m going exploring after all.’
Sighing, he started hauling the cable back up slower than a support request making its way to the IT Department. He was very quickly out of breath, and more than once the cable slipped a bit and dropped the core back down into the pit a few feet.
Eventually Wyatt could see the flashlight whipping around in the darkness. He resolved that after this he would never lift anything heavier than a coffee mug again.
After what seemed like ages to the muscles in his arms, the core appeared at the edge of the portal and Wyatt heaved it on to the top step of the tower.
[ Room Service ]
“Seventy-two-point-five. That sounds good. Is that good? No, don’t tell me, it’s good, I can tell. Big number. Four digits, doesn’t get any bigger.” Wheatley babbled, fast-paced and directed more to himself than the man. The scientist was busy anyway, heaving him up step by boxy step. Each step closer made the plan sound worse and worse, until the core was openly quaking when they reached the top.
“No, no, I changed my mind, there has to be a better way. I don’t want to go down there, we don’t even have a chart or- or- or a blueprint, don’t we need to file something, to make this official— oh god.” There really wasn’t much he could do about this situation. Optimistically, there really wasn’t much he could do wrong either. The very idea of dangling insert-too-high-measurement-here over a solid concrete floor had the core seizing up. He even listened to the suggestion of a flashlight and immediately cued it up long before it was necessary. It sputtered, and there was a clunk noise, but it eventually flickered online with a sad couple of strobes.
If there was any question of whether or not this portal led elsewhere then that flashlight alone provided evidence. Unless the man- he really needed to ask his name, or at least give him some sort of descriptive title- worked in an Aperture that didn’t believe in maintenance, then this maintenance chute was a clear indication of a disaster. It was dank and grimy, the concrete walls dribbled with water stains and chipped yellow paint that used to designate the location. Broken girders, their rebar like twisted teeth, jutted out of the concrete at funny angles, few actually supporting the area like they should.
Like Wheatley promised, and eventually found as his light snapped around in fright, there existed catwalks. Long, oxidized stripes of railing and grated floor lanced through the darkness, reddish brown and quite a few ending off into broken, slanted tilts. Some slithered up against the wall, showcasing metal doors with a crashbar, their caged lamps overhead all filled with bulbs black from burn-out. The rail, adorned with the broken guide that locked in place from when Wheatley was torn off, scribbled senselessly through the entire metal labyrinth.
Bracing himself as best he could on the tower, Wyatt slowly let the cable slide through his hands and lower the core down into the abyss. The glow of the flashlight got farther and farther away, and Wyatt was having difficulty seeing anything for himself. Hopefully there was something he could safely walk on. He called down into the pit.
“Can you see anything useful?”
The cable was now completely extended and sat taut on the edge of the portal. Soon the part Wyatt had been most worried about would come - pulling the core back up. It might even be easier for him to just shimmy down the extended cable.
Or maybe he could just leave? Get Maintenance to seal over the door to his office and relocate to somewhere new. No one would have to know what had really happened, he was sure he could make something up. Waiting for an answer, Wyatt glanced to the open office door. He could just make a break for it if he didn’t get a response.
[ Room Service ]
It seemed Wheatley had nailed it in the suggestion department. At least he felt he did when the man came back to the trolley with a slithering length of cable-turned-climbing-rope. He slipped his lens up, his handled reluctantly held still, watching dubiously as looping knots were bound to the appendage.
“Nnnot really sure I like this plan.” He carefully replied as it sunk in, his gaze still up on his handle which had begun to waggle to test the new weight. The cable bobbed, jumped and jerked in response to his yanking it around. “Not a big fan of heights. I know, whacky, what with rails generally being in the Up direction. But this isn’t a rail, is it? No. Just me. Dangling over a deadly pit. Held by you. Nothing personal, just- well, look at you! You’ll drop me!”
Not that there was a tremendous amount of choice in the matter. Until he could get back through that portal, alive, with a human, also alive, then he was stuck relying on this bloke to do all the manual labour for him. Not a reassuring thought as he watched him stack boxes.
“Have you done this before? Maybe have a background in dangling-things-over-an-abyss physics, anything, really, to make me think I’m not about to die. A pep-talk. Maybe some numbers, scientists love those, throw up some numbers of survival chances. Will accept any morale booster right now.”
‘Morale booster, alright.’
“Well, I’ve never lowered an AI core into a pit, but my job involves hanging people in bedrooms over a pit so that’s almost the same thing.” he explained as he finished Office Supplies Tower Mark 2. “As for numbers, I am about seventy two point five percent certain that this cable will hold enough weight and won’t snap.”
Hopping off the tower, he rolled the cart as close as he could get it to the base and heaved the core onto the first step. Laboriously, he repeated this process until they were both at the top and Wyatt’s head was sticking through the portal.
“Well, I hope you have a flashlight or something because you’re my eyes from here on out.”
This was so stupid, even if everything went perfectly well he was certain the core would find a way to mess it up. But he had come this far, and wasn’t about to give up. He heaved the core up and rested it on the edge of the portal (did portals even have edges?).
“Ready?”
[ Room Service ]
“Oi, no reason to get tetchy, honest mix-up— wait, really?” What began as an offensive response to the insult quickly transformed into mild curiosity. Huh. Imagine that. All the places to bash into and it was here. “Wow, it’s a shame, thinking about it now, that we need to leg it. Would have loved a tour. Always fancied the idea, these Extended-Stay vaults. Don’t have to wake anybody up.”
Wheatley mused as the man did all the work. He imagined how blissful the workload must be when all your responsibilities were put on ice. Literally. No drooling test subjects with the brain capacity of root vegetables, no tidying out the skeletons or far more disgusting ex-subjects, no crying or screaming through a bloody intercom that won’t turn the bleeding hell off. At least he imagined none of that was here.
By this point he scientist was back from vandalising his own ceiling, turning cables into one long rubbery snake and hopefully having those knot tying skills he claimed weren’t his forte seeing as they were going to be supporting his life. Both of their lives, apparently, based off the question that was swung his way.
The core blink at him owlishly. Not a good start.
“Umm. Well. How about I answer that question with another question: would you believe I’ve never actually held onto anything before? Relevant, that was a relevant fact, not just throwing out little personal tidbits about me. I do have a suggestion though. How long does it take to form muscles? Maybe if you just do some upperbody workouts, fix that general region of you up, you’d actually be able to lift me. Solve everything.” He paused there, stared at the scientist hard before giving a small huff of amusement. “No, look at you, that- ha- that would never work. Okay, something more realistic then. Can I have my own bit of- of wire- whatever you’re holding- can I have my own one of that? Would that help somehow?”
Wyatt rolled his eyes at the suggestion of working out. Not only had he never done that in his life, he wasn’t planning to start just to pick up a hunk of dumb robot. At least it seemed to realize that as it suggested something else.
‘Of course!’ Wyatt thought. He could just tie the core to the cable and hold on to it himself. Why hadn’t he thought of that? How was it that the moronic AI had thought of something before the doctor? He felt more than a little stupid.
Pushing his issues with his mental capacity aside, he moved on to the next problem in what seemed to be an infinitely growing list of problems. How would he know where to aim? It wasn’t exactly a good idea to blindly climb down into a dark pit, hoping that you encounter a catwalk. If only there was some way to see where they were going before they went there.
The rope was growing longer, and eventually Wyatt was satisfied that it would do the job. He started to tie together another section for the core, when another idea floated into his mind. He tossed the new rope to the side, and brought the end of the long one over to the core. As he started tying it to the handle of the core, any worries he had about with idea-forming ability were washed away.
“Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to tie the rope to you and lower you down into the pit as slowly as I can without breaking my arms. You’ll figure out where the closest catwalk is, and then I’ll pull you back up and we’ll both go down to it. Got it?”
He tied the other end to the doorknob as an anchor and started building a staircase of boxes up to the portal again.
(( I’m off! G’night all. ))
[ Room Service ]
“You- sorry, you freeze people?” Wheatley echoed, handle thunking against the hollow bed of the trolley in some feeble effort to nudge himself up higher to see the man wandering off. “Like the opposite of firing them? Maybe a fancy term for re-hiring someone that was formerly fired. No, hang on, that would be extinguishing them.” Or he could have realized he was in the cryogenics wing of the facility and saved them both from this conversation.
What came wasn’t an answer to the absolute waste of time that Wheatley called small-talk but instead a shrill half-scream that he would not have pinned coming from a grown adult man. It was an impressive octave, he could make a career out of that sort of thing, at least if he could think of any.
“… you alright?” The core called out several delayed seconds later. “I heard something! Listen, you should be careful, I can see a lot of rubbish just lying about. Big safety hazard. Might want to watch where you go!” And to think he shouted all that without actually having seen what happened. It was a gift, frankly.
Somewhere over the debris came a voice, drawing Wheatley’s glance up toward the portal himself. “I know I’ve been saying fifty-feet but I never actually broke out the old yard stick to measure that. I also don’t own a yard stick. So I’m going to go with pretty break all your bones far. As a distance. But- good news- but there are some walkways! Between us and said demise. In fact it’s lucky this thing fell in this portal like it did, otherwise all those catwalks? They’d have been obliterated!” He punched his faceplate a bit for emphasis.
The nearest one was perhaps half the distance of the actual bottom of the pit. Wheatley couldn’t actually see them to confirm. Although the portal came through the man’s ceiling, the partner portal was actually vertical on a shaft wall, making it impossible to really see down without being up to the edge already.
Standing up and wishing that the core had a non-metal face he could punch, Wyatt grabbed the bundle of cable and walked back into view.
“No you dolt, I freeze people cryogenically. I’m in charge of the Extended Relaxation Center.” He said with a touch of pride in his voice. Apparently despite being in a pretty crummy situation, Wyatt still had time to gloat about his job.
As he set about untangling the cables, he quickly realized he would need more even just to reach one of the catwalks he had been told about. Thinking quickly this time, Wyatt hopped up onto a toppled filing cabinet and pushed a ceiling tile back. He reached his arm inside, and quickly ripped another mass of cable out. The lights in the hall went dark.
He began to tie the cables together at their ends, forming a longer rope, but soon realized he was going to have another problem. No matter how much he would love to leave the core stranded on the floor of his office, it obviously knew more about where he was about to be. He’d need all the help he could get, even if it came in the form of an uneducated AI. What he needed to figure out was how both of them were going to hold on to the cable.
He’d avoided it long enough; he was going to have to ask it for help and hope the answer was even remotely useful.
“I’m going to make a rope out of these.” He gestured to the cables. “Do you have any idea how we’re both going to hold on to it?”
[ Room Service ]
Not only the portal was waiting but, unbeknownst to the victim it had chosen, it was likely to be waiting for an awfully long time. Aside from the occasional ill-timed power outage, they never seemed to close. At least Wheatley hadn’t any idea if it was possible and no means to reach anything but a couple of levers at the main controls (which he didn’t do anymore after that terrifying handle-got-stuck incident).
“… okay.” Wheatley replied slowly as they rolled into the office. Well, as far into the office the trolley could fit before the rubble that used to be personal space cluttered up the path. “Are scientists also boyscouts? Is that what you’re saying? Oh! Oh, is that code? Project Boyscouts of the Knot-Tying Sciences? That would be amazing in that case, we could just- just scale down the wall.” With fifty feet of bed sheet. That was what people did, wasn’t it? When trying to escape a high place. They used sheets. At least he heard that once before, not that he could remember where, and held it as gospel since.
Searching the room from his awkward vantage point, Wheatley didn’t see much initially that looked like it would help. The pole would make it easier to get to the hole, but down? Maybe one of those filing cabinets, toppled like a set of domino’s, held a pair of spare longfall boots.
“Nothing really to knot here though. Is there. Alright. That can be plan B. How’s plan A coming?” Best solution: dump the entire problem onto the scientist.
Wyatt sighed, whoever had programmed this thing sure hadn’t given it many good ideas.
“What? No I’m not a boyscout! I freeze people and file paperwork for a living.” he snapped in response. “Even if I had more than one sheet, it wouldn’t hold enough weight.”
There had to be another way, or at least something else to tie together. As he looked around the room, Wyatt couldn’t help but go back to the idea of climbing along the rail. Maybe the sheet could help him stay attached to it? He could find some other things to tie to it and make something he could hang in, like a zipline.
He started pacing around the room, stepping over piles of rubble and discarded office supplies. As he tried to get over a pile of smashed couch he caught his foot on something and landed on his stomach with a high pitched shriek.
Untangling himself from the cable he had tripped on, he stared up into the portal. There had to be something he could find to get safely through it. Hadn’t someone been working on an improved grappling hook somewhere?
As he held the cable in his hands, still staring up, an idea formed in his mind. He looked down at the cable. It was one that was wired up in the ceiling to carry power and network access, and it was thicker than his thumb. In other words, the perfect thing to climb up a wall (or down a pit) with.
“How far down exactly does that pit go?”
[ Room Service ]
Wow. This was incredible. One locked door and, pow, everything was coming up roses again! Wheatley wasn’t sure why the man kept staring between him and the window, perhaps trying to flag someone down to unlock the door, but either he had given up. They were going to return. Every seized up plate slumped in relief, his handle clunking on the ground as he uttered the sound of a blowing, theatrical sigh.
“Finally. You’re not quick on the ol’ see-reason gun, but when you do draw it? Well. Then you- you see reason. Basically. What’s that?” The core had his answer soon enough once he was laboriously hauled onto the trolley, the metal warping in the center at his weight and helping in conjunction with his handle to keep him from merrily rolling off once the entire thing was going. “Oh, ha, clever! Any particular reason you didn’t do this the first time? Just. Would’ve been polite, you know, not sending me to my death with foot prints all over me. Leave a bit of dignity.”
As triumphant as this moment was, there was a dawning problem settling over the decision. A problem in the form of a broken rail connector a fifty-foot drop. He hadn’t solved the first yet, but the second? He popped up a random suggestion with nary a segue to explain himself in sight, “By the way, how are you at tying together bed sheets?”
‘There’s absolutely nothing reasonable about jumping through a mysterious portal at the request of a rogue artificial intelligence.’ Wyatt thought as he started pushing the cart back up the hall. But here he was, doing just that.
Tuning out the core’s blathering, Wyatt also started considering the issue of the pit of death he would soon have to contend with. The core had been attached to some sort of rail, perhaps he could grab on to that? But who knew how long he’d be hanging there before he found somewhere to drop down to? He hadn’t exactly set the record for pull ups in middle school.
Maybe the portal wouldn’t even be there when they got back? He doubted he would be that lucky, but crazier things had happened. ‘That would make this much easier.’ he thought. Then he’d have no choice but to leave the core outside the door to the AI labs and someone else could deal with causing a timeline destroying paradox.
He heard the core ask a question, which snapped him out of his contemplation. What the hell did bed sheets have to do with anything?
“I’m a scientist, you do realize? Knot tying is a boyscouts thing.” If it came down to it, though, he figured he could manage a couple knots. He tied his shoes every day, after all.
When the arrived back at Wyatt’s office, it was clear he was definitely not that lucky. The portal was still there, and through it was still a fifty foot drop into nothing.
Closed Starter (doctorwyatt)
Dee literally couldn’t believe his luck! There was actually a Coffee Cup Department? “Goin’ on an elevator~! Goin’ down to the coffee cup dee-part-ment!”
The Defective turret shuffled into the elevator ahead of him. His singular red optic literally shaking in excitement. “C’mon! Hurry up! Push the button! Do the thing! Yesyesyesyes!”
The metal elevator groaned as it began it’s slow downwards descent into the maintenance areas of Aperture. For a few minutes, nothing could be seen except for concrete walls illuminated by the tiny light hanging from the ceiling.
But then, all of a sudden, the cavernous nature of the Facility was revealed. The elevator shaft seemingly continued downward forever through the expansive are they were now in. The exteriors of what could only be Test Chambers could be seen in the distance, and clear pipes and metal catwalks criss crossed all over.
The elevator slowly slid to a stop in front of a catwalk, and the door opened.
“Alright!” Wyatt exclaimed, trying to keep an excited tone in his voice. “We’re almost there!”
(( Off to work ))
(( Might be able to send replies when I get home around midnight.))
