Having a real life while watching Jack & Joker is so funny coz no matter how bad your life is, Jack and Joke have it worse
Three Goblin Art

Janaina Medeiros
Xuebing Du
No title available
trying on a metaphor
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
h
No title available
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

if i look back, i am lost
ojovivo
Sade Olutola

blake kathryn
Stranger Things
d e v o n
occasionally subtle
we're not kids anymore.
Acquired Stardust
Cosmic Funnies

⁂
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@dodoinsane
Having a real life while watching Jack & Joker is so funny coz no matter how bad your life is, Jack and Joke have it worse
this episode is GLORIOUS.
there are so many things to talk about in this episode, but i really love how they delve into 1) emotional closeness, 2) budding physical intimacy, which leads to the most important theme, 3) the exploration of lust.
i'm honestly, will always be in love, with the way p'aof handles emotional closeness in his stories. i see this pattern happened in 1000 stars, bad buddy, and last twilight. we are given the opportunity to witness the main characters getting to know each other, and slowly falling for one another. it makes the journey more rewarding to me, that their chemistry isn't forced upon, or we're supposed to 'accept' they're in love with each other as it is, without moments to prove that intimacy. i just love that p'aof always utilises the show not tell method a lot in his crafts. i'm a huge fan of that in writing, and especially in this series.
but to me, it's never overly done, as these pairs/characters are so distinct in the way they express that emotional intimacy, and barthtanrak perfectly captures that youthful-innocent-pure affinity that i find absolutely astounding. everything about them feels so young and fresh and just how two teenage boys would find love in their age; although i've never experienced it, i bet it looks just like barth and tanrak falling for each other. slowly, but surely.
it's evident in the way barth is slowly entering tanrak's world, and tanrak allows barth to break free from the invisible 'cage' that has been keeping him away from society. we see in the way that barth gradually begins making friends, not just with tanrak, but with others too. that scene in the cafeteria, is so beautifully done, because it's the first sign of connection between barth and tanrak after the minor conflict (the pool incident), and how barth subtly integrates tanrak's circle; joking around with kongdech and also ryu. it's so pretty. it's so organic to me. and the way tanrak looks at barth all along, observing, studying, always having barth in his radar—involuntarily.
i think, tanrak is happy to see barth and kongdech also becoming friends. he's such a cutie in this scene though 🥺💗
the foreshadowing in this episode is INSANE, because the moment they had that conversation about lust and who's telling the truth, i know they're going to do a full-circle moment towards the end of the episode. and God, i was right.
it's so mind-boggling to me that tanrak is so confident when he answers barth's question here—to him being absolutely tongue-tied when that same lust, the same desire that tanrak knows he should be fighting against, is overtaking his rationality, his belief, his faith.
the conversation they had about who's telling the truth and who's lying is so interesting because, for me, it kind of indicates how we, as the audience, perceive tanrak and barth, especially later in the episode.
because in my opinion, it kind of deludes us into believing that barth might be telling the truth all along—that lust shouldn't be fought, but accepted—and tanrak was lying—that lust has to be battled with and won over.
but before we get deeper into that...
it's such a smart move, to transition the scene from barthtanrak playing the piano, where barth talks about feeling out of place, as if he doesn't belong anywhere—
to barth and the other students playing in the bath house, to them watching a movie (?) together, and to finally... letting their fingers touch.
there are so many scenes in this episode that show emotions coming to tanrak's eyes. he looks so ALIVE, as if he found that spark of happiness again. but in my opinion, it's tanrak finally allowing that wall surrounding his life to crumble, just a little bit. through barth, tanrak remembers how to enjoy life again, and not just live in it.
intrigued.
wonder.
awe.
gratitude.
pride.
longing—for something so uncertain, but so there.
fear—for something that's happening, out of will.
which leads to the physical closeness that i find so intoxicatingly intimate in so many aspects.
we can see them gradually getting closer...
they're stronger now, in terms of the emotional intimacy they share, after that moment when barth comforted tanrak in front of the saint of love, to the piano practice, the movie night, and... when tanrak touches barth for the first time.
i think, the reason that touch spirals tanrak into a whirlwind of a mess, is it's him who's doing the physical contact; it's him who's supposed to touch barth—while it's usually the other way around. although it's still initiated (or perhaps, asked) by barth, tanrak could've declined, or he could warn barth about the consequences. but the close-up to barth's body indicates that tanrak has that desire, that lust, to be physically close to barth, in any way.
and we see him self-destruct the second his arms are around barth.
honestly, it's such an intimate moment, and i couldn't breathe when i watched it, because it's so normal, harmless even: tanrak's just helping barth, barth just wants to get roti outside of school, but it's truly the nail to tanrak's coffin. to tanrak, it feels a lot like his first sin.
and the conversation about lust echoes inside tanrak, and how he said to barth that lust should be fought, and not confided in, but here he is, struggling to fight it.
this is such a painful callback to the conversation they had, because it raises the question, is tanrak never the lost one—because he never tells the truth?
but isn't he always on the path of truth, the path of God?
then why does it appear like tanrak has always been a sinner?
and it makes me wonder if barth knows what tanrak doesn't know here. barth might have an idea that tanrak's struggling, but he doesn't know what. and he has always been the lost one, because barth never lies, because he is indeed, bartholomew.
it's just breathtaking, how they executed this scene, how painful it visibly is, to see tanrak lusting over barth. he's just eating that roti (honestly, it's a bit too suggestive, in my humble opinion), but tanrak feels emotions he never felt before, and the air's almost punched out of his lungs because Lord, tanrak's going through hell on earth at that moment.
and it's just so heartbreaking, when that thought, barth, takes over his mind, reducing him from getting any sleep because how could he? he experiences something he has never gone through, and it's so foreign, it's so weird, it's so haunting, it's so terrifying, yet so...... achingly liberating.
tanrak's clearly distraught. he doesn't know what he's doing anymore. but the voices in his head are too loud to ignore. so he doesn't.
my heart shatters during the final scene, when tanrak went to the bath house again, washing away presumably the precome from him touching himself—his attempt to fight the lust from overtaking his sanity—to tanrak looking into the mirror, touching his lips, mirroring barth unintentionally, and deciding, God, i gave up. i've sinned.
he went into one of the cubicles...
...closed the door.
he couldn't fight it.
and it's almost poetic, the warm yellow light that shines into the cubicle, in such blue darkness of the rest of the space, indicating both a liberation and trepidation; of tanrak finally losing the battle against lust.
because he succumbs to it.
and it's only, between tanrak and god, what happens behind it.
and we'll see that lust turns into freedom next week, but at what price?
this episode is GLORIOUS.
there are so many things to talk about in this episode, but i really love how they delve into 1) emotional closeness, 2) budding physical intimacy, which leads to the most important theme, 3) the exploration of lust.
i'm honestly, will always be in love, with the way p'aof handles emotional closeness in his stories. i see this pattern happened in 1000 stars, bad buddy, and last twilight. we are given the opportunity to witness the main characters getting to know each other, and slowly falling for one another. it makes the journey more rewarding to me, that their chemistry isn't forced upon, or we're supposed to 'accept' they're in love with each other as it is, without moments to prove that intimacy. i just love that p'aof always utilises the show not tell method a lot in his crafts. i'm a huge fan of that in writing, and especially in this series.
but to me, it's never overly done, as these pairs/characters are so distinct in the way they express that emotional intimacy, and barthtanrak perfectly captures that youthful-innocent-pure affinity that i find absolutely astounding. everything about them feels so young and fresh and just how two teenage boys would find love in their age; although i've never experienced it, i bet it looks just like barth and tanrak falling for each other. slowly, but surely.
it's evident in the way barth is slowly entering tanrak's world, and tanrak allows barth to break free from the invisible 'cage' that has been keeping him away from society. we see in the way that barth gradually begins making friends, not just with tanrak, but with others too. that scene in the cafeteria, is so beautifully done, because it's the first sign of connection between barth and tanrak after the minor conflict (the pool incident), and how barth subtly integrates tanrak's circle; joking around with kongdech and also ryu. it's so pretty. it's so organic to me. and the way tanrak looks at barth all along, observing, studying, always having barth in his radar—involuntarily.
i think, tanrak is happy to see barth and kongdech also becoming friends. he's such a cutie in this scene though 🥺💗
the foreshadowing in this episode is INSANE, because the moment they had that conversation about lust and who's telling the truth, i know they're going to do a full-circle moment towards the end of the episode. and God, i was right.
it's so mind-boggling to me that tanrak is so confident when he answers barth's question here—to him being absolutely tongue-tied when that same lust, the same desire that tanrak knows he should be fighting against, is overtaking his rationality, his belief, his faith.
the conversation they had about who's telling the truth and who's lying is so interesting because, for me, it kind of indicates how we, as the audience, perceive tanrak and barth, especially later in the episode.
because in my opinion, it kind of deludes us into believing that barth might be telling the truth all along—that lust shouldn't be fought, but accepted—and tanrak was lying—that lust has to be battled with and won over.
but before we get deeper into that...
it's such a smart move, to transition the scene from barthtanrak playing the piano, where barth talks about feeling out of place, as if he doesn't belong anywhere—
to barth and the other students playing in the bath house, to them watching a movie (?) together, and to finally... letting their fingers touch.
there are so many scenes in this episode that show emotions coming to tanrak's eyes. he looks so ALIVE, as if he found that spark of happiness again. but in my opinion, it's tanrak finally allowing that wall surrounding his life to crumble, just a little bit. through barth, tanrak remembers how to enjoy life again, and not just live in it.
intrigued.
wonder.
awe.
gratitude.
pride.
longing—for something so uncertain, but so there.
fear—for something that's happening, out of will.
which leads to the physical closeness that i find so intoxicatingly intimate in so many aspects.
we can see them gradually getting closer...
they're stronger now, in terms of the emotional intimacy they share, after that moment when barth comforted tanrak in front of the saint of love, to the piano practice, the movie night, and... when tanrak touches barth for the first time.
i think, the reason that touch spirals tanrak into a whirlwind of a mess, is it's him who's doing the physical contact; it's him who's supposed to touch barth—while it's usually the other way around. although it's still initiated (or perhaps, asked) by barth, tanrak could've declined, or he could warn barth about the consequences. but the close-up to barth's body indicates that tanrak has that desire, that lust, to be physically close to barth, in any way.
and we see him self-destruct the second his arms are around barth.
honestly, it's such an intimate moment, and i couldn't breathe when i watched it, because it's so normal, harmless even: tanrak's just helping barth, barth just wants to get roti outside of school, but it's truly the nail to tanrak's coffin. to tanrak, it feels a lot like his first sin.
and the conversation about lust echoes inside tanrak, and how he said to barth that lust should be fought, and not confided in, but here he is, struggling to fight it.
this is such a painful callback to the conversation they had, because it raises the question, is tanrak never the lost one—because he never tells the truth?
but isn't he always on the path of truth, the path of God?
then why does it appear like tanrak has always been a sinner?
and it makes me wonder if barth knows what tanrak doesn't know here. barth might have an idea that tanrak's struggling, but he doesn't know what. and he has always been the lost one, because barth never lies, because he is indeed, bartholomew.
it's just breathtaking, how they executed this scene, how painful it visibly is, to see tanrak lusting over barth. he's just eating that roti (honestly, it's a bit too suggestive, in my humble opinion), but tanrak feels emotions he never felt before, and the air's almost punched out of his lungs because Lord, tanrak's going through hell on earth at that moment.
and it's just so heartbreaking, when that thought, barth, takes over his mind, reducing him from getting any sleep because how could he? he experiences something he has never gone through, and it's so foreign, it's so weird, it's so haunting, it's so terrifying, yet so...... achingly liberating.
tanrak's clearly distraught. he doesn't know what he's doing anymore. but the voices in his head are too loud to ignore. so he doesn't.
my heart shatters during the final scene, when tanrak went to the bath house again, washing away presumably the precome from him touching himself—his attempt to fight the lust from overtaking his sanity—to tanrak looking into the mirror, touching his lips, mirroring barth unintentionally, and deciding, God, i gave up. i've sinned.
he went into one of the cubicles...
...closed the door.
he couldn't fight it.
and it's almost poetic, the warm yellow light that shines into the cubicle, in such blue darkness of the rest of the space, indicating both a liberation and trepidation; of tanrak finally losing the battle against lust.
because he succumbs to it.
and it's only, between tanrak and god, what happens behind it.
and we'll see that lust turns into freedom next week, but at what price?
I mean this completely seriously - I am so very glad we are in an era where masturbation is something that can be acknowledged as a very human thing and integral to many forms of storytelling, from the times it is humorous, to the times it is utterly soul-wrenching.
Ticket to Heaven: Character Introductions
Bonus:
ya'll don't understand the way im losing my mind because all i can think of are desi songs where loving is equivalent to praying/devotion and lover is equivalent (or even higher) than god AND ALL I CAN THINK OF IS BARTHTANRAK. im unwell.
10 minute sequence about deciding to jerk off somehow named film of the year
psalm 21:2
ticket to heaven | barth/tanrak | e | 1.5k
additional tags: pwp, religious imagery -> check ao3 for more tags
Barth traces the jutted Apple of Tanrak's bobbing throat with his eyes, and finds himself wondering if Eve had ever truly been wrong to break fruits flesh.
read on ao3
Someone explain the lore behind this, so I can peacefully enjoy the catholic references in the show without being confused 😭😭😭
psalm 21:2
ticket to heaven | barth/tanrak | e | 1.5k
additional tags: pwp, religious imagery -> check ao3 for more tags
Barth traces the jutted Apple of Tanrak's bobbing throat with his eyes, and finds himself wondering if Eve had ever truly been wrong to break fruits flesh.
read on ao3
"Lust means letting desire control us."
Last week I gave Gem his flowers, this week it's Fourth's turn because the WAY Tanrak's struggle comes across on screen, the WAY you see him fight desire (he said it so flippantly when Barth first asked him, only to prove at the end it is so much easier said than done), the WAY he is FREAKING OUT from the moment he helps Barth over that wall, and you can see it behind his eyes (not *in* them, *behind* them, like sir what fucking alchemy?), the WAY he walks to that toilet stall like a condemned man headed to the executioner's block...
I tip my hat. Astounding work.
lust: [lʌst] / noun. a strong sexual or passionate desire.
TICKET TO HEAVEN (2026) dir. Backaof Noppharnach
oh my god ticket to heaven writers cinematographers directors actors artists musicians boom tech stylists props editors camera people costume designers people in charge of lighting FUCKKKKKKKK
every step every minute of this show is equal parts terrifying and beautiful like holy FUCK tanrak's devastating walk from his bed to the bathroom was like both out of a horror film AND the end scenes of an incredibly sad movie
actualizing and acting on his sexuality takes everything from him. his entire goal is to get into heaven and he can't with this. that was was like a death walk for him.
all i remember about john the baptist is that he baptized other people and of course was killed in part because of his faith. that math maths for tanrak for sure
the music in this episode was so immersive, too. i really like how it never leans too much into silly but still will turn light and playful when needed. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOWWWW
something something episode starting with barth splashing water on tanrak's face as a way of flirting and ending with tanrak splashing water on his face to wash away barth something something
No scene will ever be as important to me as this one is.
listen up fellas cause horrible quality aside i find myself already going through the shots and this one particularly drives me CRAZY.
Who is gonna talk about their choice to put Barth right at the bottom of the stairs to heaven, and Tanrak amongst demons, threatening to corrupt everyone on the right path with their sinful ways? Even though it is Tanrak who is, from a catholic standpoint, fifty steps closer to god than Barth and Barth the one with the seemingly corrupting influences that’ll push Tanrak to sin and lose his faith?
Not to speak of the school crest and statue of mary on Tanraks side of the shot and the open door and the clock on Barths. There is also the reflection of light and the windows visible right there, while Tanraks side is gloomy and dark except for that one speck of light on mary.
It’s a very, very deliciously arranged shot and it makes clear where they want us to position ourselves, as if that’s not a given. Cause they make it pretty clear that Barth is on the right side. That Barth is closer to true revelation, to a way out, to light, to happiness, that it’s only a matter of time until he’ll leave all of this behind and it will be the right choice, that his decision to reject catholic dogma is the way to salvation, while Tanrak is still caught in literal hell between the influences of the school and his desire to see his parents again.
And to drive the message home we have the priest there as well, between Tanrak and the stairs, positioning himself as an obstacle for Tanrak to escape, turning the arguably well-meaning priest into a demon that condemns Tanrak to lifelong misery.
WITHOUT LOSING A PIECE OF ME, HOW DO I GET TO HEAVEN? WITHOUT CHANGING A PART OF ME, HOW DO I GET TO HEAVEN???