Another Bandwagon Doggans Jumped On Far Too Late

It's like if doggans.com and twitter.com/doggans had an unwanted baby!

[doggans]

DAVE’S OBSESSION OF THE MOMENT: KING’S QUEST 6 is the GREATEST GAME EVER MADE

I celebrate the pinnacle of the series that pioneered adventure gaming, King’s Quest VI: Heir Today Gone Tomorrow! Explore the Land of the Green Isles over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND DON’T MISS A DETAIL!

Watch the whole episode on doggans.com!

[doggans]

DUMB MASHUP: Maui’s Shop of Mystical Wonders

This idea popped into my head the moment this song was first previewed and WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE until I made the stupid thing.

(Originally posted to Twitter.) 

[doggans]

In the probably unlikely event you cover British theme parks, would that be Britstravaganza?

...well, now I *need* to make that happen.Hmm, possible Patreon stretch goal?

[doggans]

Will the Fantasmic Commentary be up on Geekvision or Youtube when it goes up for us foolish non-patrons?

Both! It'll go up in three parts starting sometime next month.

[doggans]

The D-List: 9 Most FRUSTRATING King’s Quest Deaths

It’s one of the most groundbreaking franchises in gaming history, but also one of the most brutal! And some of those deaths were just plain obnoxious!

Watch the episode on Geekvision.tv!

[doggans]

The D-List: Dave’s 15 Favorite COMEDY BANG! BANG! TV Sketches

The new D-List is more like a man’s grave! That’s right, I count down my favorite segments from @scottaukerman‘s IFC series based on his podcast of the same name!

Watch the episode on Geekvision.tv!

[doggans]

As someone who just did a reverse Dave Does Disney and went to Land having grown with World may I just say you were completely right about Pirates being better?

Welcome to enlightenment.

[lastowka]

I replaced all of Mario’s vocalizations in the Super Mario Odyssey trailer with Dustin Hoffman “I’m Walkin Heres” from Midnight Cowboy 

[doggans]

The hero New Donk City deserves.

[hodgman]

I am standing in the middle of a cold and hungry ocean to tell you that VACATIONLAND will be available as a Viking book this fall. A recording of the show that inspired this book will thereafter be available. Thank you for your support. Please send a boat to collect me.

(Image, as always, by the great @atomhues

[doggans]

I saw Vacationland at Largo and it was both like and unlike everything else Hodgman does. It was unlike his other works in that it was more honest, more sincere, and less absurdist. It was like his other works in that it was hilarious and resonant and wonderful.

[catmeleon-deactivated20160611]

Not to shit on Ben Wyatt, but Padme was queen of Naboo at 14 years old, and she didn’t blow the planet’s budget on a winter sports complex. 

[kareenvorbarra]

#honestly ben wyatt has probably had this exact thought in dark moments (via @seagodofmagic) 

[paulftompkins]

BOOK EXCERPT: Murder in The Duty Free by Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger

A Charlie “Stillman” Stillmanberger Mystery

“Lock the gates of this Duty Free Shop!” bellowed the security officer. He then turned, fidgeting nervously, to ask of the man behind him, “Right?” Retired airline pilot Charles “Stillman” Stillmanberger nodded. He was the man the Security Officer was addressing in the nervous fashion previously described. Stillman looked around at the motley assemblage before him, lurking in perfume aisles, partially obscured by giant triangular Swiss chocolates, trying to blend in with displays of expensive and impossibly chunky watches. “What a bunch of true murder suspects they are,” he thought internally. He appraised each one of them coolly, not unlike an appraiser on the popular television program “Antiques Roadshow.” Except these people were not brought to him by simple country folk hoping to profit from a departed relative’s hoarding sickness– no, these people were brought before him by the crime of murder. First he looked at Mrs. Fortescue, the elderly widow taking one last trip around the world in honor of her late husband. They were avid travelers, until Mr. Fortescue died under mysterious circumstances involving an onion. “Mrs. Fortescue,” Stillman said gently. “My condolences on your husband’s unfortunate onioncide.” Mrs. Fortescue gasped in that sickening wet way old ladies do. “But Captain Stillmanberger,” she burbled agedly, “how did you know my husband killed himself attempting to swallow an entire onion?” Stillman smiled in a non-patronizing way. “In flight school we were trained to recognize every different variety of grief, for the purposes of flight safety. Some griefs, like losing a spouse to a car-crusher, can cause the sad person to rush the cockpit. But you? You’re not going to hurt anyone. You’re too busy fearing it was your fault your husband misjudged the width of his throat.” The withered husk broke into tears. “I was always complimenting him in his wide throat hole!” Stillman spoke a little louder to be heard over the sad noise. “And so, you could not be the murderer.” The retired pilot then cast his gaze upon the man in the tweed suit. Professor Grady Fallows was perspiring profusely, whether out of nervousness or an ill-advised sartorial selection. Or both. Stillman advanced on the damp academic. “Professor, you hated the deceased for taking too long at the water fountain.” The mousy school man’s eyes darted about crazily. “Well, he was taking forever to fill up his blasted reusable bottle, and all I needed was a simple mouthful of water to take my nerve pill!” Stillman smiled a smile as thin as his patience for the impatient. Characters like the professor reminded him of the stories he’d hear of people hovering by the belt barrier pre-flight, standing in the way well before their boarding zone had been called. He could sometimes see them through the cockpit’s windshield if the parked plane were angled in such a way that afforded a glimpse into the airport. “You’re no killer,” Stillman sighed. “You’re impatient, but cowardly. You’d never have the nerve to kill a man in a public place, much less safely land 200 passengers on the surface of the lava pooled in the mouth of an active volcano.” All assembled forgave Stillman this self-congratulatory reference. Stillman then wheeled on the final suspect, a large Canadian goose. “J'accuse!” Stilllman barked, pointing a steady finger at the filthy creature. The guilty bird honked out some protestation of innocence in its offensively cacophonous tongue, but it was too late. The murder had been solved. Another case closed by retired airline pilot Charlie “Stillman” Stillmanberger, who was a hero pilot who now solved murders that take place exclusively in airports.

[doggans]

This is what the movie “Sully” SHOULD have been.

[doggans]

The D-List: Top 5 Homestar Runner Puppet Shorts

Decemberween’s not over until a Homestar D-List! This year I count down my favorite puppet appearances on the site.

Watch the whole episode on Geekvision.tv!

[popculturebrain]

Emma Stone Says Directors Have Given Her Improvised Jokes to Male Co-Stars

Emma Stone may be lauded as one of Hollywood’s most in-demand actresses, but she says her ideas have yet to be taken seriously. In a recent profile with Rolling Stone, the 28-year-old actress discussed her path to stardom, including her experiences as a woman in the entertainment industry.

[johnrossbowie]

I’ve heard about shit like this happening to women FAR less famous than Emma Stone, so good for her for speaking up. It’s fucking gross, and it contributes to the incredibly boring “women aren’t funny narrative” - which is put forth by guys who are definitely not funny.

[doggans]

Dave’s Obsession of the Moment: IFC’s Garfunkel and Oates

New OOTM, about the tragically short-lived semi-autobiographical IFC show from Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci!

Watch the episode on Geekvision.tv!

[disnerland]

[workjuice]

New episode!

The Thrilling Adventure Hour #235: Beyond Belief, “Snakes in a Mane”

Starring Paul F. Tompkins and Paget Brewster as those married mediums Frank and Sadie Doyle. Also starring Hal Lublin as the Spooky Narrator; Annie Savage as a gorgon; Mark Gagliardi as Pterodactyl Jones; and Autumn Reeser as Bloody Mary.

Music by Jordan Katz & the Elements of Style. Written, produced, and directed by Ben Acker & Ben Blacker.

“Love Ain’t No Billy Goat” written by Jonathan Coulton.

Recorded November 12, 2016 at the Bell House in Brooklyn, NY.

itunes // nerdist

Tickets are on sale NOW for the FINAL THRILLING ADVENTURE HOUR show for many years. It’s at the Theatre at the Ace Hotel in Los Angeles this Saturday, December 17, 2016.

Starring Paul F. Tompkins, Paget Brewster, Busy Philipps, Joshua Malina, all of the WorkJuice Players, and special guests including Timothy Omundson (Galavant; Psych) and rapper Open Mike Eagle!

Tickets here

NY photo Credit: Mindy Tucker

Omundson portrait: Maarten de Boer

[doggans]

THIS IS THE SCARIEST EPISODE OF BEYOND BELIEF YET.

[josephscrimshaw]

Trump’s words matter

I’m trying to make time to speak up more on social media. I don’t know what good it does ultimately but I’d like to try.

During the primaries, I was hesitant to post about supporting Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders. I didn’t want to spend a lot of time debating politics on social media. During the general election, I posted once or twice about supporting Clinton and more times about NOT supporting Trump. Still, I could have been much more vocal.

Now more than ever, it’s hard to separate politics from daily life. We might not all immediately feel it, but politics shape everything in our lives. At this point, even if you want to indulge in escapism, it’s not very effective.

I can post a fun thing about Star Wars, but Star Wars is inherently political. It’s a story about fighting fascism. There’s even a movement from some people to boycott Rogue One because the screenwriters criticized Trump. To the people boycotting Star Wars I say, so be it. Enjoy all those great Scott Baio moves I’m sure are coming soon.

Obviously, there’s a lot going on with Trump’s cabinet appointments, policies, business conflicts of interest, etc, but I wanted to take a moment to share my feelings about his actual defeat of Hillary Clinton.

On election night, the moment it became clear that Trump would win via the electoral college, if not the popular vote, my immediate gut punch reaction was to be horrified about the enduring sexism in America. And I still can’t shake that.

If you don’t like Hillary Clinton or agree with her policies, again, so be it. But on a factual level she is one of the most qualified candidates ever to run. Regardless of what she’s been accused of over the years, she has never been convicted of any crime. She is a solid, experienced candidate who thoroughly understands and respects the office of the Presidency.

Trump is, at best, a man who jokes about sexual assault. If you believe the multiple people who have shared their stories, he is guilty of committing sexual assault. Trump’s “jokes” on the Access Hollywood tape about being able to physically assault women because he is a star are awful. The fact that we are forgetting those comments and they’re just fading into the background as one more ingredient in the toxic stew of his discourse is horrifying.

Over the years, I’ve taken a long hard look at myself and realized how many small, subtle jokes and ideas I’ve accepted that contribute to the message that men are superior to women. There are small constant reminders that men are the norm and women (and anyone else on the gender spectrum) are lesser.

For example, the narrative that an incredibly experienced political candidate and a totally inexperienced reality TV star candidate are two equally bad choices is ridiculous. I believe the narrative got that way after years of hounding and attacking Hillary Clinton for the audacity of being a woman.

We had the choice between an experienced candidate who would have been the first woman to be President and a loud, inexperienced, self-involved man who thinks sexual assault is funny.

If you voted for Trump or are still keeping an open mind for whatever reason, once again, so be it. But I ask that you not forget the comments on the Access Hollywood tape. His words are not a little political gaffe. It’s part of who he is as a person. At the best, our soon-to-be President thinks it’s funny to joke that he can do whatever he wants to a woman without her permission. At the worst, he has committed the acts he described.

For me, this is not about political correctness. It’s not about saying the right thing to make sure I don’t get in trouble. It’s about what I believe to be morally right. We are all equal regardless of gender and this election reflects that we have a long way to go to make that a functioning truth in our society.

I was hesitant to post this because it feels like it’s already been said by many others and probably said more eloquently. But I’m trying to do a better job of speaking up about the things that matter to me.

Now, I’m going to go watch Star Wars and see some fascists get defeated.