[InsertSarcasmHere]

23 || Transfeminine || Penchant for debauchery

[dragon-in-a-fez]

captain afab is honestly a very relatable character because whomst among us does not have some great beast that has eluded us all our lives. mine, for instance, is a decent night's sleep.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Ahab. I meant fucking. captain Ahab.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

y'all are gonna make this a whole thing aren't you

[dragon-in-a-fez]

top 5 things people have said in the tags on this so far:

moby girldick

I mean, he is chasing dick

the real white whale was testosterone

assigned whaler at birth

captain afab and his trusty crewman cismale

[jantesika]

Cismale is sending me.

[6qubed]

sending you where? to the sea, I reckon

[jackalpants]

THE CHAFF PROJECT

Hi! Are you cis in the UK and you'd like to support trans rights? Great!

How: buy a trans flag pin and wear it in public.

Why: chaff is an overwhelming amount of false positives so that when a missile gets close to the plane, it hits the chaff and not the plane.

In practice: the goal is to make it DIFFICULT to identify trans people to target with bathroom bans, and to create many FALSE POSITIVES for businesses.

Basically, you might get accused of being trans and kicked out, because of the badge. You say: I wear the badge because trans rights matter.

You follow up with a letter to the business saying you're fucking furious because some nosy dipshit just tried to play fucking genital police with you in the loos. You know lots of trans people (don't name any, if you do) and you wear the pin in support and you're disgusted at them for allowing this.

Blame the business for allowing the behaviour.

Businesses see that their cis customers are getting bothered over a badge and may clarify trans-inclusive policies, so they can kick out the bathroom botherers instead of nice cis allies.

You only need to buy and wear the badge, and you are protecting trans people. You can be genuinely heroic. Even one cis person doing this helps, and everyone you get to join in helps even more.

Non-affiliated badge link:

https://rainbowandco.uk/collections/trans-pride/products/transgender-pride-flag-badge

Show your pride with our 25mm transgender pride flag pin badge. Perfect for wearing on your favourite denim jacket, back pack, or lanyard to

[leatherfag]

so i know we wax poetic about free use kink on here and it really really good but past the actual use part, i would like to romanticize the mindset shift. if you’re in a dynamic like that for long enough you get to see it change your partner. watch it go from being an exciting new thing to the genuine casual tone they take about it after the first couple years. your domme on the couch, not even looking up from their tablet going “hm yknow what? i could use a mouth right now” with the same lightheartedness they decide whether or not they’re playing a video game after work. being grabbed, choke collar wrapped around your neck for ease of control, that single sentence having been your only warning before her hand is your hair and she’s using you like a stroker while she looks at porn. i remember when it used to be harder, when she’d have to caress my head and tell me to “stop fighting it, relax and take it”.

now it’s like a switch flips the moment my lips touch her clit and the voice is internal now. don’t fight it. relax. honour the opportunity to make her feel good. god knows she needs it.

[insaneswitchblade]

cw: pet play, somno, cnc/free use, overstim (anatomy terms: cock, hole, cunt)

My pet is so sleepy, warmed from the sun coming in through the window that makes your naked body glow like an angel in my bed. How am I supposed to turn away from that? 

I have to join you, snuggling up behind you and pulling you against my chest. The happy, sleepy noises you make are so cute and your skin is so hot under my lips and hands. I can’t help feeling you up, so soft and perfect. 

Except here, between your thighs is a sticky mess. You whine and try to hide your face in the pillow when I find it, sliding my fingers over your hole and smearing the mess up over your cock. I shush you, lining my cock up behind you and slipping it between your wet thighs, over your tight hole and brushing against your cock. 

You whine again, groggy and half-asleep but still grinding down against my cock. I put a hand on your hip, making you slow, “Shh go to sleep, pet. I’ll make sure you get what you need, okay?”

You nod, stilling and letting me take control of you. I move nice and slow, coaxing you to sleep with long, soft thrusts between your thighs. 

Your little snores are so adorable and they let me know you’re deep asleep. Then my cock, soaked in your wetness, catches on your hole and slides in, in one slow thrust. I pause seeing if I’ve woken you up, but you only tense for a second then relax again. I feel how hot and tight you are around me as i start fucking you for real. Still moving slowly but pressing all the way in each time. 

Your wet cunt makes the sweetest noises, I can’t help but move faster, gripping your hips and using them to pull you back on my cock. You feel so good, I can't help but lose myself in the feeling: groaning and slamming into you.

I don’t even notice when you wake up, confused and already on the edge of an orgasm, or when you start pushing back against me, meeting me for each hard thrust. I go faster, moaning in your ear as I feel your cunt clamp down on me as you cum.

Finally, I notice you're awake when you start making desperate noises and trying to get away from my cock as your cunt spasms from overstimulation. But I'm so close now, I can’t stop.

I wrap a hand around your mouth, silencing you and holding you flush against me as I thrust up into you bruisingly deep. Your moans only make it so easy to shove my fingers in your mouth and run them over your velvety tongue.  Its so addicting filling both your holes like this while your body shivers and sucks me in deeper. Even when I use you like this your body knows. It knows it belongs to me, and it takes everything I give it. Such a good pet.

[squishywashy-deactivated2025050]

no offense but why isn’t there someone creeping outside my window right now, taking pictures of me watching morally questionable porn and touching myself which they can then use to blackmail me and to do whatever they want with my body or else they’ll show all my friends and family

[insaneswitchblade]

Open wide, Doggie. 

Let me get a good look at those snarling fangs, so vicious aren’t you? Go ahead and try to bite me, see what happens. You’ll end up with a bright red mark on that pretty cheek of yours. You don’t want that do you? Don't make me have to hit my sweet puppy. 

No, you want to be a good pet for me. Listen to me and say ahh. Let me stick my gloved fingers in your mouth and press on your gums. I want to make sure my puppy’s teeth are nice and strong. 

So quiet now aren’t you? Do you like how that feels, when I rub my fingers over your sensitive gums? Of course you do, your jaw is so slack now. Holding your tongue out like such an obedient pup and you’re not even trying to growl anymore.

Let me run my fingers over that drooling tongue now. How far can you take them down your throat? It’s is so hot and wet, perfect for fucking. 

Let me just slide them down your tight throat until you gag. You don’t even care anymore do you? Such a dumb puppy. You’d let me do anything wouldn’t you? You’ll suck on my fingers all day if I told you to, and you’d just drool and ask for more. So desperate and stupid now, what happened to my snarling, vicious dog? You’re just a slutty pet now who lives to have their holes filled, it doesn't even matter which one… 

[gooobraghhh]

Remember to implement command training in the bedroom.

Place a toy on the ground between his legs and order him to “Sit” as you watch him kneel and put the toy in his cunt until he’s fully sat to the floor

Then while he’s whimpering and squirming make sure to practice “Stay” so he knows not to move while you put yourself in his drooling mouth.

Make sure to give him lots of praise and tell him how much of a good boy he is when he listens to his commands. If he does a good job and gets you off with his mouth reward him by letting him finish on the toy while you tease his dick with your fingers. If all goes well he’ll barely be able to stand after <3

Bonus if he’s collared and leashed the whole time

[isabellahunterrr-deactivated202]

send threats

when I say send threats I don’t mean for you to start asking me questions about what I’m into, I want to open my inbox to horrific fantasies that involve me being abused and pounded into till I pass out. I just want daddy to tell be how my pussy is gonna be destroyed without asking. Never ask. Tell me all your horrible kinks, how you wanna take me while I’m asleep, how you wanna pound my ass on the bus, how you wanna chain me to the bed and let your friends all take turns abusing my cunt while you record it for the internet. All I want is to read stories were I’m humiliated, made crawl naked, fucked in front of an audience. Never ask, just send threats

[flagellant]

kill the shift manager in your brain

[flagellant]

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

[flagellant]

Innes Keeper's Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses (for nearly no extra spoons!)

Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.

I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.

Scientifically Proven Perfect Extremely Easy Grilled Cheese

INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS -butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich -garlic cloves, I use 3 usually -a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers -a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread. -a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you're spicy

INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH -two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.

-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it. this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like 1/4 or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.

super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.

METHOD

Take garlic cloves and crush them either with the meat of your palm or the flat of a knife or literally anything that would crush good. Take bread slices and put a source of spice or sweetness if you are using one. take a pan and put it on the stove on low-medium heat (aka a 2 out of 10).

Place the butter in the pan, as well as the garlic cloves, the source of heat, and the source of herbiness. Congratulations you have now literally done ALL the extra effort that you need to make a grilled cheese like this. That’s it. No extra dishes. No fussing with amounts or chopping or whatever. That’s it.

The butter will melt in the pan and soak up the delicious ingredients that you also put into the pan. Take each slice of bread and place it in the pan to butter it, OR just take one slice, place the cheese on it, and then put the other bread on. It’s really just a matter of extra effort.

When the bread is in the pan, turn it up to medium heat (5 out of 10) and just sorta let it sit for a bit. When you can see the cheese start to get visibly melty—or when you vibecheck it—flip it once and just do the same thing.

When you’ve grilled your cheese on both sides, take it out of the pan and put it on a plate (or just a paper towel to save on dish spoons. btw paper plates and plastic utensils are a fucking godsend if you hate dishes and/or can’t do them very easily/takes a lot of effort.)

That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.

[palisadewasp]

outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich

[palisadewasp]

oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it's still the best thing ive ever tasted?????

[tiredshadowscale]

oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there's no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.

[flagellant]

I didn't steal it from Prometheus he's my trophy husband!

[hyacinthsword]

ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:

please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese

[flagellant]

I'M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)

[lexidius]

Fuck it I'm gonna make the infamous inneskeeper grilled cheese, I'm suspicious of the honey part working but fuck it let's see what happens

[lexidius]

i want this sandwich to impregnate me

[hellsitegenetics]

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Closest match: Crouania attenuata isolate PD2952 plastid Common name: Small Banded Jelly Weed

(image source)

[themonstercangirl]

Stay still, puppy. Good dog. Yeah, you. Reading this. Pay attention. Good fucking dog. Are you sitting? Stand up. Drop down. On your knees. Yes, actually drop down. On the floor, on your knees. Good dog. Paws up. Hold both of them up. As if you were begging for a treat. Stick your tongue out. Pant. Good dog. Bark. Again. One more time. Awww, did you get shy? Are there people in the house? Are you embarrassed? I don't care. Be a good dog. Bark, and be loud. Cute. Doesn't it feel good to receive orders? To be trained? To be disrespected and treated like the animal you are? What a good dog. You deserve a treat. Read this again, and touch yourself, just because I said so. Good dog

[lesbutcher]

I just want to split a joint with someone and then put the roach out on their collarbone while I messily make out with them and press them into the couch

[doggystylish]

olease god i need this sobad

[07242024-deactivated20240725]

[07242024-deactivated20240725]

i got the job

[alexaloraetheris]

Litany against unemployment.

[asexual-vampire]

I don't watch a lot of porn, I find it kind of boring.

However, I think I would find it a lot less boring if I was watching it with someone and I got to watch them get progressively more flushed and squirmy and embarrassed the longer we were watching.

Or if I was being ordered to watch it while masturbating in an attempt to condition me to develop a whole bunch of filthy and humiliating kinks

Or if someone sent me their favorite videos and told me which ones they liked to imagine us recreating together so I got to think about them and how turned on they were by what I was watching the whole time

Ya know, just to make it more interesting

[deusexcorporefracto-deactivated]

annoying thing about sex in the dark especially when you're topping is the fumbling around Tryna find the hole it makes me feel like an idiot ogre like "thog top. thog fuck boy hole." and the cute little boy I'm Tryna fuck is like "nope, not quite... a bit lower..." and thog gets embarassed that her cock can't instinctively sniff out the hole like a truffle hog. doubly so when it slips out but the cheeks feel so good that you start rutting mindlessly anyway without realising you're not even in like "thog like pussy, thog positively grunt, thog so close baby boy..." and then "babe... that's just my ass cheeks....." like ok guess thog kill self now

[st0n3d-puppy-th1ng]

Being tied up in a public bathroom with sensitive nipples and needy little boycunt all exposed and dripping!!! Bowls packed for people to force me to smoke, dildos lined up for anyone to stuff into my tight puppyparts, and plenty of other things to tease me with ૮ 𖦹 ﻌ 𖦹 ა

Being there for hours, having things like "dumb mutt" and "good boy" written all over me, having stranger after stranger come into the bathroom and stuff me full of their cocks, filling me with their cum and making me whine and moan! Being forced to cum again and again while having my little body violated by total strangers ૮ > ﻌ < ა

[femboy-neko]

The man next to you on the train is grinding his cunt into the seat. He thinks that he is being subtle, but you recognizes the minuscule movements in how he shifts so that the rumbling of the train thrums fully through the swollen, desperate meat of his cocklet and folds.

You are very familiar with this route. There is a particularly rough - and exquisitely delightful - section of track just up ahead. You shut your eyes and let your head fall back, and hear his breaths quicken even as you make your own slow.

He lets his guard down when he thinks you are asleep; you hear soft squeaking from the seat as he shoves himself down harder, and then a squeak from him. You can’t blame him - the train has hit the rough tracks, and it feels very, very good.

But his soft embarrassed noises are better yet, and best of all is the sight of his writhing when you seem it safe to open your eyes.

He doesn’t notice.

His eyes are half-closed and dazed, the poor slutty creature. He is biting down on the side of his thumb to muffle his needy whimpers. He notices nothing but the delicious rumble through his dripping wet cunt - he is shivering from it, his legs are quivering and spreading.

But the rough tracks don’t go on long enough.

You know it well; he does not. He finds out only when they end, and he whines aloud in desperate denial, and looks up in horror with his hand clapped guiltily over his mouth - and sees you watching him with a smile.

You put a hand on his knee.

He goes pink and bites his lip cutely, but he doesn’t pull away. He looks at you with such wide eyes, as you lean in close and whisper, “Do you want to come?”

[radicarian]

it is past time we jettisoned the useless false dichotomy of introversion vs. extroversion and just accepted that everybody has a minimum amount of social interaction, failing which, they get really weird. and everybody has a maximum amount of social interaction, exceeding which, they get really weird. these levels are different for everyone, for a variety of reasons, and have no moral dimension. and that is all.

[mjalti]

why would you come to this club and just shoot Myers & Briggs like this

[caffeinewitchcraft]

IMO, it’s healthier to conceptualize it this way. So instead of being like “why am I being so weird? I’m an introvert, I like being alone!” you say, “Ah, I must be supergluing googly eyes to my bathroom faucet because I haven’t met my minimum threshold of social interaction and I’m trying to fill that void with these tiny pieces of plastic. Maybe I should invite someone over for dinner. They sure will be surprised by all these eyes watching them while they poop.”