after the war, the house was silent, and ginny couldn't stand it
the first two weeks following the battle of hogwarts felt like a never-ending series of funerals, grief almost temporarily taken out of her and put on display, culminating with the hearts of others who loved and lost, who had feared the worst and now faced it
then the smaller wakes happened, of fred and collin and remus and tonks, private and quiet, and she is forced to address the knawing pain, the endlessness of grief
baby teddy and his grandmother come to stay at the burrow a week after the funeral of remus and tonks
everyone comes down to the living room to look at this boy with wispy blue hair - for the first time in forever they are not brought together by something sorrowful
harry loves him, ginny can tell
he spends all his time with teddy, spending all night with a cranky teddy when andromeda is feeling too tired
one night ginny wakes to hear teddy crying, which isn't abnormal, but it doesn't stop
she goes down and no one is there - and she feels uneasy
what should she do? wake up harry?
it was a hard day for him, she knows how exhausted the funerals and ministry appointments made harry, and that baby was looking around, and she realises that teddy is looking for his mother, for tonks, and she is suddenly by his crib
its a bit awkward to hold him, her hands are shaking and she's sure her grip is a little too tight
she puts him down again, gets a bottle from the kitchen and returns
sitting at the sofas, she feeds him the formula, which he drinks in tiny, persistent gulps
harry stumbles out of his room, he went down to check on teddy - that boy always calmed him after one of his nightmares (this one was particularly painful, and kept him so deep in sleep that his didn't hear the cries of his godson)
then he sees ginny with teddy, smiles at how nervous she looks as she holds the baby
for the first time since he returned to the burro he can look at her, really see her - her baggy pajamas, her copper hair, the scars exposed by her rolled up sleeves, the birthmark below her clavicle
only then does he notice that she's shaking, and the tears running down her face
he can't help it, he knows she needs space, but he sees her crumpled face, see's a girl missing her brother, missing her childhood
he sits next to her, and looks at him, not like how they've been since the war ended: quick glances and stilted conversations; now, she doesn't hide her pain
he puts his arm around her and she shifts to lean against him, their heads bent down to marvel at teddy, now sleeping contently
"i can't imagine how tonks and remus must have felt," she whispers. "i can't believe their gone"
fred's memory hangs over them, unspoken but felt all the same
she looks up at him, "you don't need to be alone in your suffering harry," she says, never breaking her gaze
harry looks away, wiping tears; presses a kiss to ginny's forehead
"i miss them too," he says
and that night a bridge is crossed, a wound is healed and two aching hearts start to beat as one again
when neville comes visit teddy he doesn't say a single word, just holds the baby intently, gazing at his tiny frame
another child of war, another orphan - in him he sees himself, memories of his tired grandmother, too old to play parents, trying to raise him; memories of loneliness, of disconnect from his identity
"we will do better for him," he says to harry as he's about to leave, complete determination in his eyes
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