thnks for the mental illness

byf / safe space pro self-diagnosis

[yikesbpd]

i want to end my life so bad but nobody is listening nobody cares

[relatableavpd]

im not supposed to have relationships im not supposed to love or be loved im supposed to just push down this loneliness until it kills me

[yikesbpd]

[scyphozoic]

i’m going to talk more about having BPD because fuck it. BPD is lacking emotional object permanence: you know someone just gave you reassurance and/or affection a few hours ago, but you literally cannot put yourself in the headspace you were in then and cannot access how it felt at all. you can’t take past reassurance and remember it or think about it and have it reassure you in the present. so without an active presence of some kind to activate those feelings (of relief, of not feeling unloved for once, of not feeling like a bad/harmful/annoying person) you are just stuck right back where you started, and fear that asking for more reassurance will make you annoying/harmful/manipulative. and cue the BPD spiral.

[tanukiy]

me: (doesn’t kill myself) me: I am a man of Many Talents….

[coolskeletonmemes]

[permeablewound]

Me, not lashing out: good

Me, turning that destructive impulse inward: oh no

[garfdied]

[makeyouleave]

bpd more like Stomach And Chest Hurting Disorder oof ow ouchie oof 

[textsfromtheborderline]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

hi tonight I’m thinking of all the people who are worse off than they were this time last year. of the people who have gone downhill mentally instead of up and of the people whose lives have gotten worse instead of better.

You may be in a really awful place right now but I am telling you that there is relief ahead. You will be able to breathe again. I know you probably can’t believe that right now, so trust me instead of your own doubts. I love you.

[ohevoyev]

my mother: why do you act like that

me: why’d you emotionally abuse me my whole life? we all have questions …good night

[bpdespair]

its crazy how bpd has me screaming, crying, planning to kill myself in one moment and then in an hour loving life and smiling like nothing bad has happened to me Ever

[stalagtites-s]

[phantombussy]

Funny we think we’re not traumatized but can we say their name(s)? Can we talk about it? Can we write it down? Does that smell still make us shiver? Does that phrase make our skin crawl? Can we remember?

[meanplastic]

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

My emotions are valid*

*valid does not mean healthy, or good, or to be privileged above common sense and kindness

[proxi-centauri]

A distinction for anyone who is young and hasn’t figured this out yet:

You are allowed to have whatever emotions you want. No one can control your emotions. Emotions are healthy responses to things.

You are not allowed to have behaviors that are harmful just because you have certain emotions. Your behaviors are what you can control, and they are far easier to control than your emotions.

You can be jealous about someone or their talents until you turn green, but it is harmful to yourself and to that person if you try to sabotage them because of it. You can be so angry you can literally feel your temperature rise, but this does not give you permission to rage at others.

Your emotions are valid. They are always valid. You are a person of value. However, you behaviors are not always justified just because of those emotions. You may not be able to control you emotions, but you can certainly control your behaviors.

[givememusicandqueer]

“You may not be able to control your emotions, but you can certainly control your behaviors.”