Return to Sender
Neighbor!Ransom Drysdale x fem!reader
Summary: As if the holidays didn't add enough stress to your life, your asshole neighbor seems hellbent to be the cherry on top.
Warnings: Smut, 18+ ONLY, oral (f receiving), making out, accidental voyeurism, mentions of alcohol consumption, swearing, Ransom being an asshole
A/N: I wrote a thing !! Finally! Thank you for bearing w me through this insane block. Here is my unbelievably late entry for the Happy Hoelidays 2021 challenge hosted by @stargazingfangirl18, @navybrat817, @drabblewithfrannybarnes Thank you for your patience and the extension, I hope you like it!! This is my first time writing Ransom so let me know what you think!
As always, comment/reblog if you enjoyed this! Cheers!
Main Masterlist
___
You used to love Christmas. No school, sweets, teeming with excitement in anticipation of seeing family and opening presents. Now though, it was more of a burden than anything. The pressure of buying gifts and working to make every last get together and party into your schedule was just too much. All that running around only to end up dealing with jaded, old family members or making awkward conversation with friends of friends hardly seemed worth it.
Now you found yourself staring down another year of unsuccessful last minute shopping and fighting the urge to give up the holiday entirely. You let out a loud groan of frustration seeing the thin blanket of snow covering your car in the mall parking lot. You tried not to let the combination of shopping and the weather get to you as you swiped the snow off the windshield.
Dusk had long settled in and the thick flakes of snow were making the drive in the dark all the more difficult. Relief started settling into your features as you turned down your road despite the slickness from the snow. Only minutes away from a bottle of wine and unwatched episodes of trashy reality TV.
The tires struggled to gain traction around a curve and after a few more steps on the gas you accepted it’s not getting anywhere on its own. There’s only three houses on your road but you put your hazards on anyway to be safe. That prick next door is always speeding down the road in his flashy car. He’s gonna end up killing someone someday.
You did your best to dig out the snow surrounding the cab and put the car in neutral. Now the hard part. With a deep breath you pushed with everything you had to move the car forward. It only budged a few inches but you weren’t able to get it any further.
The cold air stung your lungs as you tried to catch your breath but you couldn’t give in. You weren’t about to pay to be towed 40 feet down the road.
Steeling yourself for another attempt, you were thrown off by the sound of crunching snow behind you and it wasn’t until the headlights peered around the curve that you realized it’s your douche neighbor Ransom in his Benz. How it’s even driving in this condition is a mystery to you.
There’s not a lot of time to think on it though as the car continues towards you. You fumbled backwards to avoid being hit and landed in the snow bank beside your trunk.
The scream you let out is more one of frustration than surprise or fear. Murphy’s law is sounding pretty plausible right now with the day you’ve had ending like this.
“Fucking asshole!” It echoes through the trees along with the tires of his Benz squealing when he skirts into his driveway.
___
It took an hour and one tearful phone call to your dad coaching you through it to gain the traction you needed to make it home.
Through the windows of your dining room your attention was caught by the lights glaring from Ransom’s floor to ceiling windows across the way. His house isn’t far but it’s just far enough for you to only make out his figure settling into his couch. It’s just far enough away to spy the figure of your neighbor Justine straddling his lap before you huff and head back to your room.
It isn’t surprising to see Justine there, with how much she gawks and giggles about him every time the two of you talk. She’s the only other neighbor you have, living in the house at the end of the street just past yours.
She’s beautiful and charming, albeit a little naive. You couldn’t blame her despite your eyeroll. If you didn’t know Ransom as a person you’d probably let him take you home, too.
But you do know him, and you’ve watched one too many Ubers pick up sniffling girls at early hours in the morning with him nowhere in sight. He’s even made occasional passes at you, always just laughing off the rejection like it was a challenge. Sometimes it felt like he’d goad you walking around in nothing but his boxers, knowing you could see right into his house.
Playboy tendencies aside, he’s an unsurprisingly shitty neighbor too. Loud music late into the night, ripping down the road like he owns it, he’s even accused you of stealing packages when they were mistakenly delivered to you.
You peaked out your window at his house one last time and saw the two of them writhing and topless. Disgusted by his scumminess you pulled the curtain a little harder than you needed to and turned your attention back to your show.
____
A few nights later and it was finally the weekend. The clock continued to tick to buy presents but a long day of work had you yearning to cancel any and all plans to be productive.
DoorDash was ordered and you slipped into the biggest, comfiest sweater you could find.
Headlights shone down the driveway but you knew it was too soon to be the food you’d ordered. Did you have any packages being delivered? Scurrying to the foyer, you got the door just as the bell rang.
You were confused however, when you were met with a single matte black box with red ribbon on the front step. The delivery driver was already halfway down the drive before you could say anything.
You brought the package inside and eyed it warily for a return label. You frowned when you couldn’t find one. It was, however, meant to go to your house. There wasn’t a name but the address was right. With a shrug you walked it over to your kitchen counter to get a better look.
Wherever this came from it looked bougie, you couldn’t imagine who on Earth would be sending you something this nice, let alone anything at all. Certainly not your friends or parents, you always exchanged gifts in person. Definitely not a romantic interest, you hadn’t been on a date since a very disastrous Hinge meet up two months ago that ended with you helping him into a cab and holding his hair when he puked.
You cringed at the memory and decided that just for that you deserved whatever nice thing was in this box. As you undid the thick ribbon bow the sides of the box fell away to reveal a card sitting on top of what you assumed was a gift wrapped in tissue paper. Curiosity overtook you and you went for the gift first.
It was feather light in your hands and you gently unfolded the tissue paper to reveal… lace? You pulled it out of the tissue paper and realized that you were holding a strappy, elegant teddy. Against the light you could see it was Agent Provocateur and were even more confused.
Alarm bells went off in your head. Who the hell would send you lingerie? Have you been stalked for months and this is how you find out? Is it too late to ask for a security system for Christmas? The floor to ceiling windows seemed so trendy and unique in your mid-century home but now you felt completely exposed.
Thoroughly creeped out and a little on edge you remembered that there was a card that could hopefully explain this whole thing away. You were almost certain this wasn’t meant for you.
You carefully opened the envelope and pulled out a card to look for an inscription.
“Justine - Wear this tonight, I’ll leave the light on for you. - Ransom”
The muscles of your face contorted into a slow grimace after reading the words again. You went from unnerved to livid in seconds flat as you processed what was happening. You couldn’t even catch a break from this asshole on your weekend in. You were disgusted and annoyed and determined to tell him off about it before he could accuse you of stealing it.
A quick peek out the window and his light was indeed on and he’d be getting company, just not what he expected.
___
In your anger you didn’t bother to change out of your ratty old sweater and leggings before stepping into your boots and heading for the door.
Your boots crunched into the snow as you tromped across your yard to his until you finally reached the porch. You pressed the doorbell and knocked impatiently for him to answer.
The wind bit at your skin and made you realize that you forgot your coat. At this point you were banging against the door just to get away from the cold.
The door swung open to reveal Ransom with a glass of wine in hand, ready to make some overconfident one liner. You barreled past him into the foyer and his eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Oh,” he started, “Not the neighbor I was expecting but sure, come on in.”
“Just shut the hell up. I know I’m not the neighbor you were expecting, do you know why I know that?”
You held your hand up before he could answer and took a step closer to him.
“Because you sent your mail-in booty call to the wrong house, idiot! There are only three houses on this street! How on Earth did you manage to do that?”
He didn’t have anything to add, choosing instead to look on in amusement from against the wall. He took a sip of his wine and gave a little shrug.
“Moreover, you guys are fucking gross fucking dwon here out in the open knowing damn well you don’t have curtains. Why the hell can’t you take it upstairs like a normal person?”
Immediately he set his wine down on the sideboard and he stepped closer to you. His eyebrow quirked and a slow smile crossed his lips.
“Now why would I do that? You like what you see, neighbor? Maybe you’re just wishing it was you being railed in front of the fireplace.”
You felt heated in your core by the image but you couldn’t dignify him with an answer to that question. You huffed in an attempt to regain some composure and took a step back.
“I mean I know you’re a douche, but do you have to be a shitty neighbor too? Disgusting.”
His body closed in on yours until your back met the archway of the foyer and you had nowhere to look but up at him. His right arm rested just above your head while the other floated tentatively near your side. He leaned in on you until his lips were just beside your ear. The smell of wine on his breath was present as he chuckled at you.
“Let’s not deflect here, sweetheart. I catch you looking some nights when you think you’re out of sight.”
Your eyes widened at the news. You only looked because he was there. If you tried not to look every time you’d probably never look out the windows on that side of the house again.
You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out.
“Y’know, I noticed you don’t seem to have a lot of visitors, must be lonely. Why don’t you let me help you out of that ugly sweater. Love thy neighbor, right?”
You pushed lightly against him in annoyance but he didn’t budge.
“You already do,” you scoffed, “How do you think Justine would feel knowing you said that to me?”
Why you thought that asking him to consider someone else’s feelings would have any impact on him you’ll never know. He just shook his head with a little laugh.
“She’s cute but she’s like a puppy with how bad she wants it. Plus she doesn’t have an ass like you do. You think I don’t see you gardening in your little shorts in the Summer?”
You pushed again and he let you move him back just a bit before holding onto your arm.
“Maybe I’m sorry for lacking in my neighborly duties, wanna make it up to you.”
Your eyes met his and even though you were fuming he was warm and he smelled good and were you really that lonely? Fuck it. If he’s offering you might as well use him.
“Prove it, asshole”
That’s the only warning he got before you grabbed the collar of his shirt with your free hands and brought his lips down onto yours. He grunted in surprise before pulling you closer to him and kissing back with a fervor you hadn’t expected for how cool he’d been playing it. He pulled away to breathe and take you in.
“Thought I was disgusting?” He goaded.
“Thought you were gonna make it up to me?” you countered.
You pushed him backwards towards the couch. You know you were totally about to be another girl naked in his wide open living room but at the moment you couldn’t care less.
He kissed you again before guiding you to sit. You fell back against the cushions and looked up at his figure looming over you.
His hands reached to unzip his fly when you stopped him.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Wh-”
“You’re supposed to be making it up to me, remember? Don’t tell me you can’t live up to the hype,” you tutted at him.
He huffed out a laugh and shook his head. He kneeled to the floor before you and ran his hands up your thighs without breaking your gaze.
“Fine,” he grinned, “You have no idea”
The tips of his fingers hooked into the waistband of your leggings and pulled them towards him, leaving you in your panties. If you weren’t so sexually frustrated you might have felt embarrassed being so vulnerable in front of someone you hate. But right now you had other priorities.
You kicked the fabric free from around your ankles and arched your hips as you reached for your panties. One large hand grabbed yours to stop you from going any further. You looked at him but he just shook his head with a playful smirk.
Ransom brought your hand to your side and nosed his way up your open thighs, sprinkling in trailing kisses and small bites until he finally reached his destination. He pinned you with his stare and pressed an open kiss to your clothed pussy making you shudder.
You let out a staggered breath while teased you. You were squirming and on edge but you weren’t about to beg this asshole for anything. Even if you were essentially just grinding on his face.
Finally he grabbed a hold of your panties and pulled them away from your body, leaving you exposed to him. You were dripping with slick and when the air hit your pussy your whole body shivered in anticipation.
Ransom pushed up the sleeves of his sweater to get to work. He spread your legs further and held them in place when he hooked his hands around your thighs. Just the action made you clench around nothing. He sent you one last look before he dove in.
He licked a thick stripe up to your clit before closing in on it. What had started as small licks had turned into a full on feast for him. His tongue lapped at your clit just enough to bring you to the edge but never over it. Your thighs clenched around his head but if anything it just egged him on.
Your moans were an equal mix of pleasure and frustration at this point. You should’ve known someone like him was gonna drag it out before giving into you. Just when you thought he was going to let you cum he sunk two fingers deep into you and curled them towards him.
“Ah! Oh God,” you cried. He just hummed when your hand grabbed root in his hair. All you could do was hold on while he chose the pace.
His fingers were pumping into you faster and at this point you didn’t know much longer you could stand it. His tongue was lapping at your clit faster and his fingers worked you harder. You clenched your thighs around his head and your back arched off the couch.
You cried out a series of explicatives while he carried you through wave after wave of bliss. He didn’t fight you as you untangled your fingers from his hair and pushed him away. Ransom sat back on his haunches and panted heavily trying to catch his breath. You could see his cock painfully straining against his pants and couldn’t help the flash of pride you felt knowing you did that.
You took in your surroundings as you calmed down from your high. You were still pissed but if this was how he made up you saw no issue in accepting his apologies.
You sat up from the couch and gave yourself a moment to breathe. When you did, the smell of peanut sauce and curry hit your nose and your head shot up at him in disbelief.
Across the room you spotted a white styrofoam container with a familiar logo sitting on his kitchen counter.
“Is that my fucking Thai food order?”
“Oh, yeah I guess so. Thanks, it’s a little spicy though”
With a scoff you pushed yourself up and away from him and stepped back into your leggings.
Ransom sat up behind you in confusion as you bee-lined for the food. You swiped it from the counter and started for the door when he realized what was happening.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“Home,” you answered, “I got what I wanted and I’m hungry” you shook your head in irritation.
He shot to his feet and followed you to the foyer. He grabbed you by the elbow gently to turn you around. A quick look downwards you could tell he was still hard.
“But what about me?”
“Last time I checked I didn’t have anything to make up to you. Plus, my food is getting cold. Have a good night though.”
He was absolutely incredulous as you turned the knob on the door. As you stepped through the threshold he stood still in disbelief.
“So no head!?” he called out.
You kept walking back to your yard when you turned slightly to give him one last look.
“I’m keeping the set by the way!” You answered over your shoulder as you reached your porch.
The look on his face was so satisfying. Even though it wasn’t meant for you, this may be the best gift you’ve ever been given.

















