Things running through my mind while looking at Tyler Seguin’s ESPN body issue:
-Holy mother of god. Are you even real?
-He’s as pale as a Greek statue.
-That butt tattoo, I dig it.
-Who can pull off wearing a beanie while being naked on a Zamboni eating a red white and blue rocket popsicle? He can.
-Can I be that Zamboni?
-Quack quack.














