Rockstars are my Business

New account for appetiteforoldrockstars

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents love to pretend that whatever is going on at home is not “real life”, and you, would have no chance of surviving in “real life”. In fact, you know nothing about “real life” at all, you are an dumb, uninformed slob of ignorance and know nothing about living at all. According to them, you have been living in some kind of “bubble” where no real life events have been happening, and all of your experiences and opinions have nothing to do with reality. They even have the nerve to tell you to “start living in the real life.”

You have been living nothing but real life. You had a real life experience of surviving in abusive environment. You have lived a reality of existing next to an abuser. There is nothing unreal or fake about your experiences, your abusive home is no bubble, it’s a real, definite hell that you went thru. There’s no question of you surviving in real life, you literally were surviving the worst of it already. You proved you are capable of surviving the worst of the worst, being in presence of a predator who was capable of brainwashing and manipulating you to keep you scared and unbelieving in your own senses and experiences. 

Every single thing you lived thru was real life. You took on real life from the second you were born. Your circumstances were hard and cruel, you got all advantages taken away from you, replaced with sabotage and hatred, and you’re still alive now. There isn’t a harsher reality than what you already went thru. Your experiences count in the real world. What happened to you affects the real world. Your parents have done nothing but lie to you. You were living in the real world entire time.

[furiousgoldfish]

Recognizing Abuse Masterlist

Signs that you’re living in abuse:

Behavioral patterns of living in abuse

Was I abused? Checklist

Not knowing you are a victim

Signs your family is abusive

Making excuses for your abusive parents

Experience of living in secrecy

What they taught you was abuse

Emotional experiences of living in abuse

Shame and guilt: how abused children feel

What makes parents abusers (actions)

Have I been manipulated into believing abuse was my fault? Checklist

Am I being held hostage by abusers? Checklist

You are not allowed to mention the past

Why you still love abusive parents

Parental behaviour that isn’t normal

Shit parents aren’t supposed to say to you

Experience of “not belonging anywhere”

Red flags for abusive parents

Healthy vs Abusive Chores

Was my childhood abusive or just had some bad parts?

Rules always change (unpredictable environment is abusive)

Breakdown of abusive parent’s behaviour:

“This is my house” rule

Start living in the real life!

Why all the children aren’t abused equally in an abusive home

Common abuser hypocrisies

Do your parents want you to be happy or look happy?

Why do they try to convince you that you’re worthless

Why do they pretend you’re a burden? Controlling behaviour

Why your abusers are not good people

Abusive parents are keeping you in false hope they’ll change

Are your parents preventing you from succeeding?

Abusive parents pretending “it wasn’t that bad”

Double Bind (why every choice you make ends wrong)

Incorporating trauma in raising children

Abusers will not allow you to call them out on abuse

Signs your parents are narcissistic:

Stuff narcissistic parents/caretakers say

Shit narcissistis parents say

Tactics of narcissistic abuse

Recognizing emotional immaturity of narcissistic parents

Examples of narcissistic behaviours

Being punished for growing up by narcissistic parents

What children of narcissists go thru

Signs you’ve been thru sexual abuse:

CSA (Childhood Sexual Abuse) Symptoms

Signs you might have endured CSA

Was I sexually abused by adults as a child? Checklist

Signs of abusive friendship/relationship:

How to tell if a friend is not a friend

Am I in an abusive relationship/friendship? Checklist

Manufacturing insecurities

Red flags for abusers

Have I been thru social abuse? Checklist

You can recognize abusers by how they make you feel

How abusive childhood teaches you to stay in abusive relationships

Recognizing abusive friendship

Signs you’re struggling with trauma

Trauma processing information

Experiences of traumatized children

Signs you’re recovering from long term abuse

Things abuse survivors think/say

Thoughts of victims of child abuse

Your brain on trauma

How long term childhood abuse develops into complex trauma (comic)

Ups and downs of trauma

[furiousgoldfish]

It is true that abusive parents do a lot of sabotage and growth stunt and mental abuse in order to keep you incapable of running away, refusing to teach you anything about surviving on your own, about finances, banks, contracts, cooking, nutrition, maintaining living space, your human rights and laws about them, they refuse to point out what you already do well, and make sure you don’t get vital information. Also they stunt your mental growth and social skills, and berate you for not being active enough or capable enough in a social circle. So as a result, you end up feeling like you’re way behind on everyone else, like you’re late in learning everything and have huge gaps in your knowledge how to survive, making you helpless and hopeless to reach independence.

However!

Once you’re freed from abusive parents you can catch up so quickly within a few months, or a year, nobody will be able to tell the difference. I mean it, what they’ve stunted and sabotaged can be obtained, very quickly. One thing you can’t have that easily is emotional stability, but! Everything else you can have. (unless they’ve done excessive torture to fuck up your learning abilities in which case fuck them but also can be healed and you will be able to gain will to learn new things again).

I’ll try to go thru some basics of what I was missing in my knowledge, and learned right upon running away, or afterwards.

about finances and banks, there’s few ways to learn, first thing I did about it was when I was 19 or so, I went to a bank and made an account and asked a person opening it all I needed to know, and read all the papers I got with it, and that is still the account I’m using now to survive, and all I had to do was fill a few papers, and it worked out. Other ways I managed to learn about finances was about asking other people than my parents, tho they were a bit surprised I didn’t know all this already, they didn’t mind telling me, and how I actually learned the most was extensive research on the internet. First look at the websites of official sites, like the government, taxes, retirement, they will usually list all the things you have to know, but don’t listen to all that, just read it and then go to the forums and read what actual people are discussing, that’s how you will learn what problems are people are having with this, and how many of these laws are actually reinforced (people are always ignoring a few laws). Doing my own research actually taught me more than I would know if I had just listened what other people explained to me, and made me capable of making financial decisions. Since I was already living with barely anything, by the time I escaped from parents I was okay with only rent and food money, and I didn’t have to buy anything than a bit of second-hand clothing. So I didn’t have to think that much about managing finances, other than to make sure I’m buying cheap food ingredients.

Cooking and nutrition, so I actually learned to cook from a roommate who was really good at it, I was a bit abashed that I didn’t know as much as they did, but when you show slight admiration of someone’s skills and show eagerness to learn from them people are actually happy to help you out! I gained a bit of cooking knowledge from every roommate who knew how to cook, and of course the internet. Everything I learned about nutrition came from use of this site: cronometer.com. This information was vital to me because I was feeding myself so badly I was often experiencing fatigue, losing my appetite, or even seeing black because I just didn’t know what I had to eat or how much. (its worth mentioning I became vegan too so I was super confused) But after figuring out how much of what I had to eat to meet all calory and nutrition requirements, I started feeling very good and fulfilled, and I now know more about nutrition than my parents could have ever told me. This is also vital knowledge if you want to not get sick just from lack of care for your body, I for instance, have no money for hospitals and doctors so I have to keep eating very responsibly to avoid health issues.

I learned about proper cleaning and maintaining a living space from a neighbour who wanted me to help her clean. Of course I cleaned tons for my parents but all I would get is a hard brush, soap and water, I had no idea how to use any cleaning product. And it turns out you just have to mix a bit of product in a half of bucket of water, and you use it with your rug, and wash the rug in it until the water turns too dirty, then you replace it. And if you’re cleaning wooden surfaces and floor you don’t even have to wash it out with clean water, just let it dry! If all of you already knew that I hate you all. I knew nothing of it. Also I managed to pick up some basic living-space maintaining facts like, windows and frames and curtains need to be washed twice a year, otherwise the air inside will get very dusty and unpleasant to breathe, buildup of dust on the top of closets and under beds is also making the air bad, vinegar can remove any mineral layers that built up from water and is great for cleaning sinks and stove tops. Turns out cleaning is more easy than rubbing everything with soap for hours, I’m very bitter about not knowing it.

Figuring out what’s the best way for you to socialize becomes more easy as you realize people don’t already have thousand prejudices about you that they got from your parents, and aren’t eager to maintain your parent’s illusions about you. I used to socialize with a goal to make everyone happy, but that’s just waste of time. It’s better to say whatever you feel like and get people either to leave you alone and get away from you, or relate to you and try to connect with you. It’s okay to hate people right away when you see them, and to subtly let them know you don’t like them so they go away. All the pretending and creating a picture of you that others should like and feel comfortable with isn’t worth anything really, I make people uncomfortable wherever I go and most of people are very turned off and they leave me alone, as I want them to, while others decide that getting uncomfortable might be what some situations really need. Anyway, if you’re all on your own, you will gain your true self back, and if you’re socializing with people, you’ll eventually learn all the tricks and decide what you want to get out of socializing, just don’t make it “being helpful to everyone and having everyone like you” because thats impossible.

The last thing I have to say about this, is even though I believed every single person was way ahead of me in their survival skills, I couldn’t have been more wrong. I had roommates who were irresponsible, completely refused to socialize or were really annoying when they did, had no idea and no desire to learn about cooking or cleaning, didn’t care about how much money they were wasting (i don’t mean buying stuff, I mean buying food that they just let to rot bc they weren’t paying attention), didn’t seem to know much about banks or contracts or anything, and had completely normal jobs like a cook, cleaner, waiter, and so on. And they were doing it, they were independent still. It didn’t take that much growth or adult skills for them to achieve this.  

So in conclusion, if you can cover rent, you can make it on your own. This can mean having a job or finding a way to get money from working freelance online, or having any source of income that could cover rent and a bit of food. It’s not that complicated, you don’t have to know everything right away, and you will learn everything by doing it. I know parents make it seem like you’ll have to deal with impossible, like you will have a crisis every day and be out of your mind worried about what will you eat or where will you sleep every day but nah. I’m not saying life will be worry-free, but after living in abuse, to only have to worry about rent and few other things? Peanuts.

[furiousgoldfish]

abusive parents, from the start of your life: This place is hostile to you and doesn’t want you here. You will be met with hatred, threats and punishments for your every move. We don’t care how you feel and we will hurt you whenever we feel like it. You have no right to resources, food, shelter, or life, and any of it can be taken away from you at any point. Act tough or wilt and die.

abusive parents, when other people are around: Why are you acting like this place is hostile and hates you?? Act like things are Normal and we Love you! How can you be so Heartless, and not shower us in presentations of Love and Gratitude? You’re making us Look Bad! You will be Punished for Acting the Way we have Conditioned you to act if you don’t change it when we feel it’s inconvenient!!!

[furiousgoldfish]

I get so fucking angry when people try to rationalize why parents abuse children and it’s always “oh parents have been thru it too” “oh they had a hard life” “oh they were abused too” “oh they never knew love so how could they give it” and what they’re basically saying is: Well, the child is suffering but it’s not anybody’s fault. It was inevitable. And you know what that means? There’s nobody to blame, there’s no way to stop it, parents who have had difficulties in life will always abuse their kids and children will just have to suck it up because that’s life.

Well then, what about me? And others like me? We’ve been brutalized by our parents severely, we haven’t known anything except neglect and pain and hatred, and would never do it to another living soul on earth, much less a child. What are we then? An exception? Are we so much fucking smarter and intelligent and insightful than all the parents on the world that we figured this out? Are we special cases? Are we miracles? How come our parents couldn’t have figured out what we have, that hurting a child is an act of evil and that we cannot claim to be a good person after we do that? How come something so fucking simple and obvious has eluded all of their eyes over and over again but we know it? How come if everyone abused has no choice but to become a monster themselves, we’re not monsters still? If we could suffer abuse and remain human, why couldn’t they do it to?

We’re the proof that abuse does not produce abusers. Abuse is a choice, every single time a parent abuses a child they’re making a choice to do it. And the easier this choice is to make and get away with, the more abusers we will have. This world is run by abusers and makes it easy for abusers to make that choice, even relives them out of the guilt for choosing that and provides them with many “worse” examples and excuses and rationalizations so they would still feel good about themselves! This world is fighting to continue child abuse, to continue worshipping abusers. This needs to stop, all excuses need to die. All abusers need to be held responsible for their own actions, every single one. No sad backstories, no tragic histories, no debate about how much harder it would be to not abuse a child than to abuse them. If we could make a choice to not abuse others, so can they. Their last excuse is burned to the ground by our existence.

[furiousgoldfish]

So you think your child should be strong enough to endure beatings and humiliation and insults and complete emotional abandoment, but you are allowed to go on and be a pathetic coward and weakling to the point where you’re too sensitive to even hear that you hurt your child? You think you get to demand that? You think after everything you’ve forced your child to endure, you are the one who gets to act all weak and hurt if your child or anyone points out to you that you’re not a good parent? That you completely and utterly failed in keeping your own child safe?

What the fuck do you think will happen when your child, having endured all this pain and abuse, has to continue with life? Do you think after enduring what you threw their way they’ll have no trouble dealing with the rest of life? Do you think you prepared them for something? Human strenght is expendable! You forced that child to be strong for you when they were at their weakest, not even developed stage, you think that will not leave a trace? Your child will miss out on so many life experiences because they will have to mourn, because they will be lost in terror you put in them, because they will have to feel the grief of not having a parent, not having being kept safe, not having a family and not having anyone who cared enough for them to protect them when they were too young to protect themselves. Your child will re-live everything you to them did and fear intimacy, trust and love because you taught them they should expect pain and fear from their loved ones! Your child will carry the burden of your weakness and your cowardice and incapability of love well into the adulthood and they will break. Because no child or adult can carry that kind of burden for someone else. And when they collapse after being strong from the day one, being strong instead of you, being strong where they had no strength to draw from anymore, where will you be? You will still cowardly be telling them that they broke because they weren’t strong enough! You will still find that you get to be a weakling, you get to be a pathetic, cowardly burden on them and act like they should still be strong instead of you! You will still have your child believe that it’s their strength that failed them, and not yours! You will still act like they should tiptoe around your sensitivity and your fragile little ego and your projections of yourself as a great person while you call them too sensitive for feeling the pain you don’t want to hear you caused to them! Because you don’t want to admit that you did this, that you are not a good parent, you are not a good person, you have done it wrong, you have failed as a human being, you destroyed a child who you cursed into relying on you.

You are a disgrace to your child. Apologize to your child. Apologize for what you did to their life. Apologize for all the cowardice and weakness. Apologize for having them be strong when they were a child, where you couldn’t have been strong as an adult. Apologize for forcing them to have a person like you in their life. Apologize for taking away their family, their childhood, their faith in humanity, their experiences, their time, their care, their trust. It’s been enough of your child being strong for you. It’s time you picked up your shit and carried it yourself. Children have been strong enough. Children have been strong enough.

[furiousgoldfish]

don’t forgive abuse. don’t let anyone believe abuse is forgivable.

[furiousgoldfish]

lies abusive parents make children believe:

my parents couldn’t have known they were hurting me

my parents would never do something that hurtful on purpose

my parents are good people, they do good work and they can’t be abusive

my parents only meant the best and it would hurt them if I accused them of abusing me

my parents already deal with so much it would be selfish to accuse them of anything

my parents would have stopped if they knew they were traumatizing me, it’s not their fault

my parents just have some trouble taking responsibility for their actions

my parents would be too hurt if I didn’t think they were good parents, I have to reasure them I only think well of them

If I say anything against my parents, I’ll end up being ungrateful, selfish and spoiled, I have to think of everything they did for me and if they ended up hurting me a little that should be fine

if my parents didn’t do what they did, I would end up a monster

it was only because of my actions my parents acted as they did, if I was a good child none of it would happen

it was me giving my parents a hard time, not the reverse, I was making them feel bad, they had to go as far as they did to show me how horrible I was

my parents would have never done anything I didn’t deserve, and I deserved everything they did

my parents just tried to make me stronger and prepare me for life

my parents just thought they were doing the right thing, that I needed to be treated this way to not grow up into a horrible, spoiled monster

my parents made me and know me the longest so they must be right about me, and everything they think and say about me must be true

my parents would feel so awful if they knew how much they hurt me

i’m responsible for protecting my parents from the knowledge of what they did to me

I don’t want my parents to suffer and if they knew I was holding something against them it would hurt them so much

These are all false. All children let their parents know when parents are hurting them, and its completely impossible to be hurting a child without knowing it, even if children are doing their best to hide it. Parents who hurt children are no longer good people. Social status of parents doesn’t affect weather they’re abusive or not, what they do to children says it. Parents who convince their child that the child is the last and least important priority and should move all their emotions aside in order to not bother parents, are abusive. Parents who force the child to believe that holding them responsible for their own actions is equal to hurting them, are lying - if they were hurt by implication that they’re hurting children, they would be extremely careful not to hurt children! Instead they’re careful to keep hurting children and to not be called out. Parents who use children’s inexperience to convince them they would in fact, become horrible if not for abuse, are actual demons. Parents who can say to their child that being hurt as a tiny, helpless human being in development, is making them stronger, are malicious liars who want to keep destroying their child, while having the child pretend to be strong. If parents convince the child that the child is deserving of pain and to be hurt, they’re demons. Any parent who makes excuses for abusing a child and tries to justify it and make the child take blame for what happened, is abusive. They’re an adult who was facing a child and took the chance to hurt, torture, and permanently traumatize a small, helpless human being who couldn’t defend or strike back, or even process what was going on. There are no excuses for this. There are no reasons for this. There are no justifications.

[softheartedsuggestion]

i’m sorry for all the times they didn’t apologize to you

[furiousgoldfish]

Trauma Information

Processing trauma

Traumatic memories get stored in the brain Differently

Trauma processing information

Steps for Managing Emotional Flashbacks

4 Types of Trauma Responses in Childhood

Relapses can possibly be a Seasonal Trauma occurrence

Three Stages of Trauma from Childhood Abuse

It’s likely you’ll feel the worst of your trauma long after it’s over

Feeling like you’re not normal because of trauma

Anger is vital in resolving trauma

Causes of Trauma

List of trauma symptoms caused by Childhood Abuse

How long term childhood abuse develops into trauma (comic)

Loss of support and community after trauma adds to it

Isolation from support can decide whether a person develops ptsd

Abandonment, rejection and isolation causes trauma

Symptoms of Trauma

Magical Thinking is a symptom of Childhood Trauma

Memory loss is a symptom of trauma and dissociative disorder

Inability to keep your space clean and tidy can stem from Trauma

Chronic Exhaustion comes from Trauma and is traumatic

Constant guilt, shame, and fear of failure can be caused by Trauma

Constant guilt for things that were done to you is an indicator of Trauma

Trauma from abuse will create a compulsion to Act Normal

Trauma will make you feel like you’re losing your future

Trauma makes you feel like you just ‘need to snap out of it’

Trauma can feel like ‘it wasn’t that bad’ even when it was

Childhood trauma can make you sense other people’s emotions

If you wish you suffered violence and trauma, it’s likely you’re already traumatized

Health risks

Trauma will mess up your immune system

Trauma can cause breathing problems and heart palpitations

Trauma will mess up your digestive system

C-ptsd can cause chronic pain and chronic exhaustion

Trauma can make it difficult both to sleep and to stay awake

If you’re struggling with trauma, here’s a link to Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD, and if you believe your trauma comes from abuse, here’s a link to checklists for parental/relationship abuse.

[furiousgoldfish]

Red flags for Love Bombing:

The person doing it is someone you met recently (days, weeks, month ago), or they recently decided they want to get closer to you

They decide that you’re perfect (friend, relationship partner, peer, employee, student) before actually taking the time to get to know you

They talk about you as if you know each other for a long time, and make statements about you as if they’ve known you forever

They talk about plans they have for you; they’d love to be closer, travel together, live together, meet you more often, some will even talk about marriage or some kind of partnership early on even though you’ve only met recently

You get a LOT of positive attention from them, to the point where you don’t feel the need to get positive attention from anyone else, and you end up giving your full attention to them

You feel like this is the person you’ve been waiting for, someone who sees everything good in you, you consider them special and feel flattered and grateful to finally get the attention you lacked for all this time

They always seem to say the perfect things, drop perfect lines you’ve been waiting to hear, to the point where it can sound like a movie or very idealized version of reality

You feel intensely reassured about your worth, your appearance, your value, your actions, your pain, it causes a rapid change in your daily feelings about yourself

You enjoy your new perception of yourself, but it’s completely tied to this one person who created it for you, and you don’t feel special or interesting or important out of that relationship, your identity is now tied to what they feel about you

You get the sense of ‘this feels to good to be true’ but you dismiss it because you don’t want to be suspicious or anxious about one good thing that finally happened to you

Their promises get overwhelming to the point where it doesn’t seem like they could possibly deliver them but they give you a chance to indulge yourself in daydreaming and wishful thinking and you hold onto that

You feel tied not only to this person, but to the future they’re promising, and even if you don’t know them for a very long time, you feel intensely about wanting to keep them in your life, do anything to not lose them and to keep the relationship as is

If you believe in soulmates, twin souls, or any new age spirituality, this person will feel like your destined one, or they might even suggest it themselves, that they were sent by an entity to ‘fulfill you’ or 'destined for you’

Your life changed from how it normally was to the point where you feel like you have a life 'before’ and 'after you’ve met them’, you even kind forget who you were before them, as you find it’s painful and lonely life you don’t want to go back to

With time, you get anxious about their perspective of you changing, because it would shatter everything good you’ve started to think about yourself because of them

It’s very hard for you to think about them critically or in a negative way

If they started thinking badly of you or started mistreating you, your heart would break

Love bombing is a manipulative tactic of getting someone attached and dependent as quick as possible, and it’s done with over-the-top attention and affirmations, future faking, mirroring, and creating an idealized version of you without actually getting to know or understand you. The promises, feelings, gestures, imagined future and compliments are not real, they’re there so you would be invested enough to ignore any other red flags, to forget to context of the relationship, to bond to the point of not leaving even if it develops into abuse.

If you’ve fallen for it, do not feel guilty; this is designed to get your defenses down and to make you feel fulfilled to the point where your reasoning turns to mush and you grasp that break from being devalued and neglected all of the time like it’s a lifeline. It’s often impossible to resist the strong emotions and relief at being offered, however fake, positive attention. Previous victims of abuse, neglected children, mentally ill, autistic, or in any way vulnerable members of society are very susceptible to this, because they’re often the ones starved for attention and will not question the kind of attention they get because they need it too badly. Whoever uses this tactic is aware of this, and is ready to dangle affection in front of you in order to trap you into abuse. You are not responsible for falling for it, doing this to you is criminal. This is what a start of an abusive relationship looks like.

[furiousgoldfish]

we should fight child abuse at its roots not wait until children grow up and need life-long therapy

[furiousgoldfish]

Children in abusive families aren’t accepted nor acknowledged as the valuable member of the family. They’re being told they’re freeloaders, someone allowed to live in the house who should be grateful they get to sleep there. They’re considered a financial burden, and an emotional one, if they ever need attention or care. They’re told to compare themselves to children who aren’t so lucky and are starvng on the street, or being abused much worse my caretakers. They’re forced to count their blessings, as if each and every one of them isn’t used against them. They’re only being presented as the children to guests and outsiders, who parents are trying to impress or play normal family game in front of. They’re being used by parents to feel good about themselves, and then discarded as if they’re worthless.

In healthy families no child is considered a burden, or less valuable than any other person in the family, it’s the opposite, the parents are able to acknowledge that as the youngest and most vulnerable member, the child should get most attention, care and help growing up and forming into an individual. In healthy families there’s no question of letting the child be hungry if there’s food, threatening them of losing place to sleep if they are able to provide a bed. There’s no comparing the child to those who were less lucky, it’s parents who question if they could do anything better, make the life of their child better. Child doesn’t have to worry about finances, or have anything they have or do used against them, they know whatever belongs to parents, is theirs as well, and they know if something goes wrong, parents are going to have their back. Healthy families give children feeling of safety, stability, value, confidence, support, and community. They’re a pillar of strength for the child. Child doesn’t have to fulfill certain conditions to deserve it, or work tirelessly to deserve to be a part of the family. There’s no game of pretense in front of outsiders, they’re not only a child of these people in certain conditions or when the parents find it convenient, they’re treated well at all times. 

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusers will readily shame, criticize, belittle and condemn you for anything you do, you’re never doing a good enough job and you always do everything wrong and you always miss some things and do some things wrong, and that shit builds up until doing anything starts feeling overwhelming, useless, degrading, unrewarding and like a punishment, and you lose the desire to do anything.

And THEN they come at you with ‘Why are you so lazy? Why are you not doing anything?’ Like Excuse Me? You Don’t Think that has Anything to do with You?

[synthetic-mycological-disaster]

Don’t forget the abusers that expect you to read their minds at all times, to automatically know what they want you to do without actually telling you, only to do all of the above (shame, criticize, belittle, condemn, scream at, and more) when you haven’t done what they haven’t communicated.

And when you DO do something without being asked? Just like above. It’s never enough. There’s always something wrong.

You get them a gift? They find a reason to complain about it and how it could’ve been better. You use all your spoons to finish chores? Well, you should’ve done more.

Like, maybe the reason I don’t wanna do anything around here anymore, is cause my best obviously isn’t enough? So why even bother trying when I’m gonna get the same result either way? Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Not to mention having to play therapist for the serial abuser every fucking day, let them go off on yelling and screaming tangents as they get drunk while I’m forced to sit and keep everything inside myself. I have to allow myself to be triggered repeatedly, and if I get up and leave the situation, I’m being a ‘bitch’ or an ‘asshole’. Like no, mfer, I’m drawing a boundary and not letting you hurt me anymore.

Would really be nice if people understood the actual meaning of the word ‘No’ and respected it. But here we are.

I. Deserve. To. Be. Respected.

[furiousgoldfish]

if you ever defend my abusive parents to me I will lose any respect for you as a person immediately

[furiousgoldfish]

If you can’t explain something to a child respectfully and patiently, without patronizing, humiliating, guilting, lying, manipulating, insulting, mocking, threatening, yelling at the child, or making the child feel stupid and ashamed, you’re grossly incompetent both as a parent, teacher and a human being

[furiousgoldfish]

if your parents keeps reminding you that you’re a financial burden i’ll have you known that in most countries anyone who is financially supporting a child gets tax relief for it. That’s right, government is giving your parents money that is intended to go to you, for your needs. I bet that’s something your parents neglect to mention periodically, while they remind you how much you cost them. Don’t let them trick you.