Don't Ask Men

A blog about unsolicited advice and advances from the audacious men in this ridiculous world.

[favatrice]

this is pretty sad actually

[persnicketyqueerprincess]

Beautiful collection of straight boys interacting with a bisexual for hopefully the first time in their lives.

[lodged]

how bisexual

[dasfreefree]

i couldn’t make this up even if i tried

[doesthateverwork]

[xxlove4evaxx]

well he got me

[golddustfaggot-deactivated20170]

Talking to straight boys part 2

[davidtsharp-deactivated20160314]

U done yet

[ezduzitt]

shut up Carson

[officialharshnoise]

I’m reading the account verification phonecalls this new Dattch dating app for lesbians, bisexuals and other LGBT women has recorded from men trying to make accounts and

FOR FUCK’S SAKE STRAIGHT MEN WHY

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(x)

Women! It's happening! We're free! I mean this just means so much to me. I feel so liberated you know? Just the fact that I finally have this validation I don't know I'm just... I'm just so relieved right now. No longer do I have to feel ashamed about my monetary success. I was worried sick about how the men around me felt, I've been pretending to be poor, not buying the clothes I like, the house I wanted, I drive a used car from the 90's, but I'm... I'm free now, you know? And you know what? I always thought since men dominate the fashion industry and created the stick thin models and beauty standards I see everywhere that they wanted me to be skinny but maybe I was wrong? Maybe they don't care, maybe I was just silly. Maybe I've also imagine all the times I've gone out without makeup and man after man at work asked me if I was sick. In reality men don't care about makeup! I'm so glad I've been living in a world where I can sleep with whoever I want without being judged by men. I mean this is just such a weight off my shoulder.

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Actual article from Ask Men

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Unfortunately this article didn't end up simply being "Don't" but an actual article written by an inept creep documenting how he started out his annoyance  pickups with randomly approaching a woman and telling her the magazine she was reading looked boring. She said nothing, it hurt his feelings, she got up and walked away. So he realized this was a stupid and disturbing plan right? No. He moved on to the next woman. She told him he was talking rubbish and he was awkward, he pressed on, they exchanged numbers (no way her number was a fake right?). He proudly ends this article with "Now do I tell Sarah that I have a girlfriend and this was just an experiment, or shall I not text her? Hmmm I'll wait for her to call me."

Hopefully this man spends his whole life waiting for that call and the general public won't have to worry about him any longer.

[dontaskmen-blog]

Can you believe there's an entire subreddit about nothing? I mean this subreddit must be completely blank!

[bossypants]

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10 Things Women Find Unattractive:

1. Unbrushed hair. We know you've made it a fashion trend to look like you just rolled out of bed but a lot of you don't even brush your hair and you shed like a dying cat all over the place

2. No Foundation. If you expect us to wear foundation then you need to step up too. Those red blotches aren't cute honey, if you cover up then so do you. Unless you feel like growing up and dealing with actual human skin but c'mon that'd be ridiculous.

3. Red Eyes. I don't know if that's pink eye from not knowing how to properly take care of yourself (that's what moms and girlfriends are for) or just red eyes from all that weed but it's gross. Eye drops hun. 

4. No Mascara. Come on cutie don't you want a woman? Glam up for us a bit.

5. Badly Shaved Body. Whether you like it or not, women prefer smooth skin. Take care of your entire body. Make sure that your legs and armpits are perfectly clean and hairless. Such things play an even greater role than the foundation I want you to wear. It tells a lot about your hygiene and there is no point in applying makeup if the rest of your body is not totally neat!

6. Dry Lips. I know you don't feel masculine putting on chapstick but no one wants to makeout with sand paper. Sugar scrub once a week, chapstick constantly, some lip gloss while you're at it. 

7. Bad Breath. Why do you always smell like mountain dew and corn chips? How are you ever supposed to get a wife?

8. No Lip Liner. How the hell am I supposed to know where your lips end and your face begins? This is too much pressure for me, outline that shit for me. 

9. Axe Body Spray. You have literally turned into a public health hazard stop using that crap.

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[pessimisdick]

Ah yes white boys

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Ask Men Magazine is my favorite website because they never cease to surprise me. "I've reached the bottom of the barrel" I sigh to myself after reading an inspiring op-ed about how to trick a stripper into sleeping with you, but alas no! My friend Ask Men will always have a new garbage heap of sexism for me to read as I hold back vomit. Thank you Ask Men, thank you so much.

[dontaskmen-blog]

If you have a strong stomach you can read the rest of Kevin Gibson's disgusting and pure objectification of women here. It only gets worse honestly, and why yes this IS from our dear Ask Men Magazine!