The Coconut Wars

MY NAME IS JACKIE. DON’T BOTHER WRITING IT DOWN, I KNOW YOU’LL REMEMBER IT. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR, EVERY NIGHT BEFORE YOU FALL ASLEEP AND EVERY MORNING JUST AFTER YOU WAKE UP, YOU WILL SEE YOURSELF AS YOU ARE AND KNOW, INTRINSICALLY, THAT JACKIE EXISTS AND SHE IS BETTER THAN YOU. EVERY TIME YOU TRY TO PUT ON A CUTE OUTFIT? JACKIE IS BETTER THAN YOU. EVERY TIME YOU THINK YOU DID WELL ON A TEST? JACKIE IS BETTER THAN YOU. THE AFFECTION AND SUPPORT OF YOUR FAMILY, THE PRAISE AND RECOGNITION OF YOUR CAREER— THEY ARE AS NOTHING BEFORE THIS FINAL, ULTIMATE TRUTH: JACKIE EXISTS, AND SHE IS BETTER THAN YOU. SHE IS MORE THAN A GODDESS, SHE IS THE CORPOREAL MANIFESTATION OF THE CONCEPT OF PERFECTION. SHE IS A DIVINE GIFT. HER COMPLEXION GLOWS LIKE THE EARLIEST RAYS OF DAWN LIGHT TOUCHING THE SOFTEST OF LILY PETALS ON A STILL POND, PRISTINE IN THE HIGH MOUNTAINS. HER HAIR IS A LUSCIOUS CASCADE OF CHOCOLATE AND SILK THAT REMAINS FLAWLESS WHETHER SHE IS MODELING IN PARIS OR RIGHTEOUSLY SMITING HER ENEMIES INTO A SUPPURATING PUDDLE OF THEIR OWN DESPAIR. HER MIND IS A PRECISION INSTRUMENT THAT BEARS NO COMPETITION; HER CHARM MELTS STEEL AT FIFTY PACES. MORTALS ARE DUST BEFORE HER. THE FINEST ARTWORKS OF THE WORLD ARE MUD PIES AT HER FEET. EVERYTHING YOU ARE, EVERYTHING YOU CAN EVER ASPIRE TO BE IS SO MEANINGLESS AS TO BE NONEXISTENT COMPARED TO THE FACT THAT JACKIE EXISTS, AND SHE IS BETTER THAN YOU. SO CRY, PEASANT, AS YOU KNEEL BEFORE YOUR FINAL GOD.

[beanghostprincess]

Let's fight your anon Buggy haters 😡 Some people are stuck on the "such a powerful man couldn't possibly be interested in this ugly failure of a clown" discourse, and I can't stop thinking that people would have the same reaction in OP universe if shuggy became a public couple (bear with me and let's ignore the implications of a public romance between 2 major political figures for now). Bar Buggy’s fans/cult members, I imagine some people would be very disdainful... And honestly my boy is a mess of insecurities hidden behind bravado. The potential for angst is 👌, especially if Shanks responds with a "haters gonna hate" attitude. But we could also mix in comedy depending on Buggy’s reactions 👀 Not a real ask I guess, I just wanted to spread some Buggy love!

BUGGY LOVE YIPPIE 💙💙💙💙💙💙❤️(one heart for Shanks because he's been going through a lot and he deserves it)

This discourse is SO funny to me. If you were an actual Shanks fan, you would say, "I think Buggy is an ugly failure of a clown, but Shanks loves him, so whatever my baby says" AND THAT'S IT. Like it's such an insane concept to me, liking Shanks and disliking Buggy at the same time... Are you aware that's his husband right there... Whatever makes the captain happy!!!!!!!!!

Also, just not true, Buggy is hot as fuck. People need to start opening their eyes. Shanks did. You could be next.

The concept of Shuggy being canon in-universe is such a funny thing. We make fun of Buggy, but a lot of pirates ARE scared of him. And Shanks, of course. So, in my opinion, the first general thought wouldn't be about their looks but "we're sooooo fucked if these two team up".

But THEN you let their loved ones (Shanks' loved ones mostly) discuss the whole thing, and they'd be like:

"Why... Why him?" Shanks: He makes me laugh

Buggy would be so bothered by the general opinion from Shanks' friends (... Luffy-) that he'd need all the princess treatment in the world for months, and Shanks would be SO happy to give it to him. And a good talk with his fans because I'm sure THEY are the ones saying Buggy deserves better. That would make him feel better tbh.

Either way, they've been so married for years and so used to this dynamic and opinions that I think they'd just go on with their lives. The concept of everyone making a whole deal out of it except them. Pffft.

[sanjis-daddy-issues]

Buggy and Shanks being weird situationship exes is dangerous for each other bc those mfs knew each other since they were LITTLE KIDS. THEY BOTH GOT SO MUCH DIRT ON THE OTHER FROM GROWING UP WITH EACH OTHER, ITS GOTTA BE INSANE.

IMAGINE A DUDE YOU HATE OUT THERE KNOWING WHAT U WERE LIKE DURING PUBERTY AND WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE BABY CHILD. ID HUNT THAT DUDE DOWN.

[genamewmew]

[sari-bunny]

Hiii!! ,I started watching One Piece and I already liked one character.

[bougiebutchbinch]

we've talked about Luffy being Shanks's kid and we've talked about Luffy being Crocodile's kid but have we talked about the potential HILARITY of Buggy presuming Luffy is Shanks's kid, then finding out he's actually Crocodile's kid, not knowing anything about dragon, and presuming SHANKS CHEATED ON HIM WITH CROCODILE

(were Buggy and Shanks fully in their Divorce Era at the point this 'infidelity' happened? Yeah.)

(would Buggy still be furious and accuse Shanks of being unfaithful? Oh, you BET.)

[procrastination-archive]

[procrastination-archive]

[inkytoons]

New to One Piece, hello fandom! My favourite is Buggy :)

[bingbongbuggy]

Just an average night for him ❤️‍🩹

[heneryque]

act natural

[jelly-daddy]

Fem! Buggy! tried a new style. What do we think????

[lazyvizyus]

Genuinely getting mad cuz I have NO idea of what to draw and I want to draw UUUGGGHHH

Anyways Here are some sketches

[bougiebutchbinch]

okay but shanks overhearing buggy call alvida 'honeybunny' and being BURNINGLY jealous v alvida being like. take the clown. please. I don't want him

[cobu96]

RIGHT, let’s try this again, shall we?

[skysurfing]

[fml666proh8rxd]

Good morning tumblr ppl

[teal-bandit]

🤡