Sad Things

Watch me grow old....and never leave you

[pascalcampion]

Weak? I had NOT drawn those guys like this in a while! Feels good to get back to it. #pascalcampion

[dontletmefeelyou]

Come to find out.

You do these things to yourself....and I just feel bad for you....and I also feel stupid for even feeling anything for you.......

[dontletmefeelyou]

At this point....

I want you....to be happy....

With me.....

[dontletmefeelyou]

I’ve done terrible things....

Hey...uh..... Ya....here I am.... Still breathing.....even after more than a year.....feels good...... I’m stuck....as usual...on a feeling that shouldn’t mean shit. But alas....its something I must struggle through because WHY the fuck do I deserve to be ok... But anyway....... I’ve latched my heart..on her....

Every move or every word that utters slowly from my lips becomes another reason why I feel anything....and those are the moments where I regret.....

Her skin touching mine.... Now that that’s gone.....I want desperately.....not to feel anymore....but now...its like something woke up on the inside and all it wants....is to be with someone......in some form...... I feel....lonely.....I feel lost.....I fee like something is missing.....and indeed it is.........but its not something that I NEED to have.....

She mentioned something to me recently..... She slept with someone that wasn’t me.........now I am paranoid that she’s forgotten me........or wants to forget me...... But I’m pretty sure that’s for the better... Though it hurt like hell to hear.......and all I wanted to do was not feel.....anything at all..... But....here....we are......standing at the chasm of my dying decaying heart......and being ok that I’m not ok with being ok........I’m fucking hurt....every time she messages me and every time she doesn’t respond I think that shes with someone that isn’t me.... I’ve done terrible things.....thinking about you is one of them.

[dontletmefeelyou]

Hi....its been a while.

Well....well.... I thought I'd drop in and say a couple of things.....good and bad things.... So here goes nothing (And I don't care for punctuation.....so if you see a bunch of junk like that please disregard and just understand where I am at ...) So....first and foremost....I've been good.....I work a job that I love....I hang with people that enjoy my existence (some of them).....I've been writing music and performing....get all sorts of crazy offers for that..... And I've been just existing..... Nothing could bring me down from this ..... Absolutely nothing.....besides the fact that I gave my heart and soul away....... (Here comes the bad.) So....4 years.....of love....4 years of just giving it my all.....into something that heart so much...... Imma be painfully honest.....I hate myself for it......I hate the fact that it didn't work out.....I hate the fact that I gave myself to her......like she was the only one that was ever going to have it........and I could have sworn that was going to be true.....but I still felt empty....and dead inside at the time...... I loved her.....I fucking loved her....and there is no way of coming back from that..... People say that having sex intertwines you and that person forever..... My God were they right.....I feel like nothing without her right now.....and thats more or less my own issue of just never really letting her go.....but its been a while since I've actually thought about this.... like.....she was my one and only.......and I feel like if i try to....with anyone else.....it wouldn't be right.....I'd be leaving her..... Leaving her is the right thing to do though.....so why am I freaking out.....? Because dammit......i love her.....and she's still part of my damn soul.....whether she or I wanted it to be or not...... I let her into my in-most being........I let her soul touch mine......the most intimate part of me was talking and moving with the most intimate part of her......theres no other way of describing it other than....she has a chunk of me with her.....and i have a chunk of her with me..... I wouldn't be surprised if she thought about me and all of this.... But I hate it.....because I cant just move forward...thinking that the past is dead to me now.....especially looking at the future me and whoever...... I want the next relationship to mean something.......I don't want to reflect my past and believe that it should be how it was with my ex.....how fucking selfish is that? It's painful to even admit all this.....I'm in this wormhole.....of constant memories....and I can't seem to find the right ways of destroying what created all of it..... I don't know....maybe now I'm just rambling. But ya....anyway how was your year?

[dontletmefeelyou]

I have feelings for you ...but i wish i didnt

[dontletmefeelyou]

All I ever felt was love for you

[dontletmefeelyou]

I thought that I would live in the same regret .. I took my love for you and ripped my soul apart. Now I am unrecognizable.

[dontletmefeelyou]

I have never wanted to just love someone....more than I do now..... But that someone is unknown to me

[dontletmefeelyou]

Let us be

Let's write poem about how much we miss each other and then pretend we don't exist anymore.... Let's tell each other that things won't work out and still pray to God for each other.... Let's get so close that it feels right to be together and then see how dangerous it is to be so close.... Let's just be us.....and let the war of our insecurities come.....and lets fight in the war together hand in hand because life just doesn't stop.... Let's move on together.....lets cry together...... Dammit...lets just die together. That way we will both know it was our eyes that we last saw in the midst of hardship. At least we will both know we were looking at hope.

[dontletmefeelyou]

I've been in love with you for a while now....... I never knew how to stop either......

[dontletmefeelyou]

After all this time......everything is starting to make sense.

[dontletmefeelyou]

I’ve seen the worst in you…..

But my God does it sooth my soul to find a place to put my heart….even when its cracking….

You’ve seen the best in me…..

But my God does it feel like nails being jabbed inside of my being when my heart doesn’t believe the things you say…..

You are complete peace and I am a complete mess….

And yet here we are….completely incomplete with the intent of completing our incomplete selves with our imperfections….

I swear…..perfection sounded way better than this…..

And I’m ok with that.

[dontletmefeelyou]

I’ve seen the scary things that are caged inside of your chest……

Darling…….I love every one of them…..

[dontletmefeelyou]

Can we forget the scars that remain....and become whole.....or do we have to die with these hands around our throats.... I am made for more.

[dontletmefeelyou]

Lets pretend.....we never felt a thing......

ever again.......

[dontletmefeelyou]

Can I sleep without wanting you?

I’d rather sleep without you..............even in my thoughts.