I was chillin’ in hell you know? In my usual corner near a tiny pit of fire. ( I mean all of hell is a pit of fire but it has smaller pits of fire too inside. Whatever. ) Anyhow, it was okay. A little boring. But except for the occasional burning when Satan was in a really bad mood it was generally okay around there. I was fine. But now? I’m far from fine. I didn’t even want to be a part of this stupid rehabilitation program.
Why am I far from fine you ask? Because it’s my last day in this stupid mortal world . Yeah your human world is what I’m talking about.
It’s my last day and I’m having so many…….. feelings. I’d always found these feelings you mortals have, well, dumb. All your heartbreaks, love affairs, high school love stories, – that Jonathon’s girlfriend really likes- missing people, crying; amused me. I mean it still does. Ugggghhhh this rehab thing is making me like you mortals, it’s disgusting.
I’ve never felt all this shit before I met Cady okay? Hate and disgust were my number one emotions. Sadness too…only sometimes though. But now I’ve felt love. Uggghhhhh it’s exhausting did you know that? It’s exhausting to love. And then have to leave.
Okay I realize now. Your petty human mind is confused, I’ll start from the beginning. I was meaning too but I got carried away with well my ……. my feelings. Ugh it’s disgusting and embarrassing. I’m a demon, I shouldn’t have so many feelings. Ugh, anyways I’ll start over.
So, as you know I was in hell obviously because I’m a demon. Then one day the angels up in heaven decided they wanted to start a Save the Demons Program. They started with the teenage demons.(I’m one of them by the way.)
So, the angels- all shinny hair, perfect white dresses, Cinderella like glass slippers-came down to hell. To my usual spot. And then told us about the stupid program. And since I’m being completely honest with you I’ll tell you that that’s when this whole feelings thing started. I…..I felt insecure. This is so embarrassing.
I’d always thought my shoulder length black hair and black leather jacket looked pretty good. And my horns and scars never made me feel insecure, only badass. But the angel’s hair were so pretty. And its embarrassing that I wanted that too. To have pretty hair, to change my hair, wash them or something I don’t know .Obviously I don’t know. How am I supposed to know how to make your hair like an angel’s. Even her nails were shiny, not that I wanted that though. Pink shinny nails, ew. But she looked so pretty and beautiful and I just felt so insecure near her. It was starting to make me hate her. (As I said hatred used to be my number one emotion.)
Its fine now though. My hair look hellishly good (get it?) now that I washed them. That’s my secret: washing them lol. Uggghhh I’m using your stupid “lol”s . Its almost like a human possessed me……. Lol. It was too funny not to say lol ok?
So anyways the angel told me about this Save the Demons shit. It’s this rehabilitation program that I hate with a burning passion now, because it made me feel so much and now I’m just expected to go away. Away to heaven. Which should make me happy, but it doesn’t because I have to leave Cady behind.
I’m still confusing you aren’t i? I’ll try not to get carried away again. So now, this Save the Demons program is basically a rehab program for us demons where we must go to the human world and cleanse our souls, become “pure”, get rid of our sins and then go to heaven. In the human world we are assigned a child.
We are supposed to like take care of it and play with it and be its guardian angel? Demon? Whatever; till our souls are cleansed enough to go to heaven.
The Angel took me to the clouds to brief me about the program and then send me to your human world. There she told me about the kid I would be assigned. She passed me a file with Cady’s full name (Cadence Eastman) and picture and some details. Flipping through it enlightened me with the following knowledge- Cady was a five year old kid living in Brooklyn with her parents Rosa and Mathew and her 15 year old brother Jonathon. Her favorite color was yellow and she loved cotton candy and painting her nails with nail polish.
I’d asked the angel what nail polish was. And what she told me explained why she had pink nails. I still didn’t want it though. Maybe black, I don’t know.
The angel even offered me a, well, makeover. She said that I looked a bit scary. She apologized as soon as she said that but I didn’t get why. She said she had been rude but I told her, if anything she had been flattering.
The makeover wasn’t too drastic- so maybe we can’t call it a makeover, but whatever. The angel just made me go take a shower, that’s when I washed my hair too. It looked a lot better with all the dust out. Then she made most of my scars invisible and then was about to do the same for my horns but I refused. There was no way I was giving up my badass black twisty horns. Besides Cady isn’t scared of them.
The last thing she offered as a part of the makeover was a mani-pedi -what a stupid name. She did that with magic too. She offered me nail paint but I said ‘EWWW NO’ and she looked at me like I’d punched her in the face and that’s how I realized that I was being rude so I said ‘um… I mean no… thank you?’ she was fine after that.
She took me to Cady then. We stood outside Cady’s room. She told me that she’ll come for me in a hundred and nine days ( because apparently that’s how long it’ll take to cleanse my soul). Then she vanished in thin air with a “poof”. And yes, it was kind of dramatic if you’re wondering.
I opened the door slowly. Cady was sitting at a small table on a small pink chair with a teacup in her hand. She turned around and looked at me confused at first then broke into a smile and said ‘HI!’ she was soooo loud.
‘ Um…. hey’ was all I’d managed in response.
‘I’m your imaginary friend.’
‘Really ? You’re my friend?’ she got all excited. It was so annoying.
‘Do u want to join my tea party?’
‘Yeah okay’ A tea party sounded disgusting but what else could I do, plus she looked to excited to say no to.
I’d tried sitting on the chair but it was too small. So I sat on the floor with my legs crisscrossed, putting the chair aside. Even when sitting on the floor I was tall enough to be Cady’s height.
‘Um…..you can call me whatever you want.’ I couldn’t tell her my demon Latin name. I’d would have been weird. Besides the angel had said it was better if she called me some normal human name.
‘Ok, can I call you Nancy?’
What a shitty name, I’d thought then. But now there’s no other name I would go by. It’ll forever be with me. It’s something Cady gave me.
‘Here’s your tea.’ Cady said passing me an empty plastic teacup.
Then I had to pretend to drink from the empty teacup, which was so stupid it made me hate this tea party game more than anything. You must understand by now that I’m great at hating things. It’s easy for me because I’m a demon. It’s in my blood. But however much I was annoyed with Cady, I could never hate her. I was annoyed, irritated, and disgusted even, but I couldn’t hate her.
We sat there drinking make believe tea, when someone knocked on the door and came in. He was tall and had really messy hair. He was wearing a hoodie and shorts. His hand was in his messy black hair.
‘Hey Cady, come downstairs for lunch.’
‘Yeah okay. I’m coming’ she’d said putting her cup down.
‘Why’d you put the chair away?’ he asked pointing at the chair I’d kept aside.
‘The chair was too small for Nancy.’
‘Who’s Nancy?’ he asked. I was looking him straight in his -green- eyes.
‘She’s my imaginary friend’
He gave her a confused look. But before he could speak Rosa called from downstairs.’ Johnny Cady come downstairs for lunch!’
So then I went downstairs with them. And stood near Cady the whole time they had lunch. She suddenly turned around and asked me if I wanted some of her bacon. Before I could answer though, her parents asked her who she was talking too. She told them Nancy.
Uggghh, I hated that name so much it was stupid and embarrassing. Later I found out why Cady called me Nancy instead of any other dumb mortal name. She loved a cartoon called “Fancy Nancy” where this girl named Nancy kept saying “Oh La La ” every two seconds. And every time I said it Cady would roll on the ground with laughter.
Got kinda carried away again. So, Cady’s parents were okay with her having an imaginary friend because she was five and kids her age had imaginary friends as they had read in some parenting book.(You humans are weird.) Jonathon still thought it was weird . Everyone called him Johnny at home by the way.
After lunch-much to my annoyance- we played more. The games were so dumb. Cady specially liked these dolls called Barbies. All the games were pretty annoying but nothing was worse than the time Cady wanted to paint my nails.
On my first day Cady really really wanted to paint my nails. I made a face and said no. And she…..she started crying. I had no idea what to do. Her eyes were all wet and water kept flowing and won’t stop. And she was LOUD. Soooooooo loud. So I agreed.
I have pink, yellow, green and blue nails from the last time she did my nails. That day she painted them all purple.
Now, you see, I spent all my days in the human world with Cady playing hide and seek, dressing up Barbies, reading Cinderella over and over, watching Dora the Explorer and even getting my nails painted.
I’m not going to give you a detailed account of my days on Earth, obviously, because it’ll take too long. But I’ll tell you about a few things that happened, because I have time for some.
Cady always liked me, except when I said no for nail paint. But she was never really mad or upset except this one time. The reason for her being mad was pretty dumb to be honest. It was her loyalty and love for Dora the Explorer.
So we were just watching Dora the Explorer and Dora kept asking dumb questions and I had to answer and also say “Swipper no swiping!” over and over and it was getting really really annoying. So I yelled at her dumbass the next time she asked where the mountains were. And I probably said she was stupid or whatever too. And that made Cady really mad. She said I was being mean and stomped out of the room. I sighed and followed. It took a really long apology, a promise that she could paint my nails whenever she wanted and singing the theme song of Dora the explorer; to get cady to forgive me.
Dora , Dora, Dora, the explorer,
Boots and super cool Dora, Dora,
Grab your backpack let’s go!
This was the only time she got mad at me. I was never really mad at her, just annoyed. No wait, I was mad this one time.
So, Mathew was at work, Johnny in his room and Rosa was talking a shower. Me and Cady were sitting on the kitchen island eating fruit loops. Cady’s legs were dangling down the island. She was wearing these yellow and pink stripped pajamas and they matched the rubber bands that secured her pigtails in place.
It was cool. Me, Cady and our Fruitloops; but she wanted her Barbie. So I went to get it and when I got back I see her PLAYING WITH KNIFES! Like seriously what is wrong with these kids. She had Fruitloops. WHY on earth did she want to play with knifes. I swear if I had a heartbeat it would have stopped right that second.
I quickly took the knifes from her and tried to calm down. I was SO mad.
‘WHY WERE YOU PLAYING WITH KNIFES? ARE YOU MAD? YOU COULD HAVE DIED! YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH KNIFES EVER AGAIN DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I WAS GETTING YOUR DOLL WAS’NT I? WHAT WAS THE NEED FOR PLAYING WITH KNIFES. IF YOU DIED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?WHAT WILL I DO? I’LL BE GIVEN SOME OTHER DUMB KID-’
I stopped because she was getting wet eyes again. Uggghhh you humans and your tears.
‘Cady noooooo. Don’t cry. I’m sorry I yelled. Just don’t play with knifes again okay? Okay now stop crying. I’m sorry’
She apologized later, that night. But I wasn’t mad I was just… just… worried. See, I told you this rehab thing was making me feel to many things.
This other thing also happened. I never thought I’d tell anyone but I’ll tell you. It’s really embarrassing. Don’t you dare laugh though because I swear if you do I will hunt you down, stab you in the face and watch you die. MWAHAHAHAHAHA. The evil laugh was necessary with that threat. Yeah okay I’ll tell you now.
So Rosa’s sister’s daughter Alice is seven and she’s Cady’s friend. And since it was summer break Rosa’s sister dropped Alice off for play dates often.
The first time I saw her Cady tried to introduce me. But Alice didn’t want to talk about or to me because she couldn’t see me and it freaked her out.
‘I don’t want to play with Nancy!’ Alice had said. And honestly that was fine by me.
‘Then I don’t want to play with you’ Cady told Alice and then stuck her tongue out at her. Turned out Cady wasn’t just loyal to to Dora the Explorer.
‘Hey Cady it’s okay. I don’t really wanna play with Alice. You both play. It’s fine, really’ I had to explain.
So from then on every time Alice came I would hang around the house. The kitchen, the drawing room, the garden but mostly Jonathon’s room. Ugghhh I’m so embarrassed right now.
Almost every time I went to his room he was on his chair by the desk reading something, studying. He didn’t look like he spent all day at a desk though. He looked like a jock, probably because he worked out. But sitting in his room all those days showed me how much of a dork he was. He was goofy and nerdy and cute. I knew his girlfriend liked him for his looks- I’d seen her a few times and felt the urge to punch her every time- but I liked him for all his dorky-ness, the face he made when he did a hard math problem, the way he was protective for Cady, the way he lost himself in books, the way a simple bottle of Mountain Dew could make him the happiest guy ever.
I’d just sit there and look at him study or read some thick book. He’d get lost in these books and I’d get lost looking at him. I can’t believe I just said something as cheesy as this. Uggghh.
So yeah I’ll admit it- I’m a demon with a crush on a mortal boy. And it’s embarrassing as hell.
Okay I told you about my crush and now I’m embarrassed so no more stories. I’m not recalling any memories now. It’s my last day here and I’m just going to continue laying in bed next to Cady for the last time. Rosa’s reading a story. Its Cinderella again. I’m really emotional -ugghh- but this story still annoys me.
But it’s the last time I’ll be listening to it. It’s the last time I’ll be sitting next to Cady. The last time I’ll be in this room. This sucks. This sucks so much.
‘….and they lived happily ever after.’ Rosa says finishing the story.
It sucks how there is no “happily ever after” in my story. I mean my sins are cleansed and I’m going to heaven so I guess it’s a happy ending. But what about my story with Cady? What about my story with Jonathon?
‘What’s wrong?’ Cady asks suddenly. Rosa’s left the room. The lights are off. Just the bedside lamp is on.
‘Huh? Nothing.’ I still haven’t told her I’m going. I wish I could stay. I would give anything. But that’s not how it works. No one can stay in your human world for more than their time. I need to go. Uggghhhhhh.
‘You look upset. What’s wrong? ’ Cady asks, her voice all sleepy.
‘But why? Don’t you like it here? It’s because I painted your nails so many colors last week, isn’t it? I’m sorry. We can make them Black. Just like you like it. Just please don’t go.’
Oh no. It’s happening. The most embarrassing thing that could ever happen to me is happening. My eyes have water in them. Oh no. It’s rolling down my face. I can feel my nose getting red. Shit!
‘No no Cady it’s not that. I…. I want to stay but I have to go.’
‘Why?’ shes getting wet eyes too. And she’s pouting. Ughhhhhh . You have NO idea how frustrated I am right now. I hate seeing her so sad.
I have to give her an answer though. I’ll have to tell her a story I made up.
‘I came here to be friends with you. And I’ve spent so much time with you and we’ve become bestfriends right? But now I must go. Other children need friends too. Some of them don’t have any. I have to go to them. But you need to know that you’re my favorite okay? You need to know that. Okay?’
‘You’re my favorite too.’
These tears are coming down too fast.
‘ I love you Nancy’ she’s hugging me how. Really tight. Her tears are making my black shirt wet.
‘ I….I love you too Cady. I love you and always will.’ I didn’t know I was capable. I never thought I could love someone. But I do. I love Cady. I love her so much.
I’m stroking her hair. She’s telling me she thinks I’m like an angel. An angel with horns. One who goes to kids who need friends. She thinks she needed me. She has no idea how much I needed her.
I’m still stroking her hair. She’s not crying anymore. I’m pretty sure she’s asleep. I’m still crying though. I look at the clock next to the lamp. Its 11:59. The angel will come any moment. I get up slowly, and wipe my tears. I look at Cady one last time.
‘ Bye-Bye Cady ’ I whisper.
She called me an angel. She said she loved me. She wanted me to stay. She-
The angel’s here. She looks excited, she’s smiling. She takes me to the clouds. We’ll go to heaven soon.
‘Congratulations!’ she says. She’s loud and excited and happy; it’s so annoying.
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