[dontyounderstand]

really wish to be held in a loving way, around my waist, arms hooked on my neck, hands gripping my thighs, rubbing my shoulder when im down

i want it

[dontyounderstand]

the want to be loved is something like

a dream

that you go through all the details

every last step, every last moment

it's vivid, it's shining, it's there

it exists

the soft touches, lingering electricity

reflected blue light from the tv

in their eyes, after sharing a kiss

the smile snug at one side of their face

proud of who they shared their

essence

their saliva with

the coldness of the pillow against a cheek

the sparking of finger tips on the other

caresses up and down your chin

swipe of a thumbprint along the apple

that it shares the color of

the raspiness of the words spoken

the tingling wisps of air that gently

tap against your lips

opening them

for the last share of the night

as quickly as you lean

in

the dead of the night

a single bed in the corner,

the lamp glows, a candle blown out

a poster falling on one side,

you open your eyes

and forget

[dontyounderstand]

there are so many better people in the world

than me for you.

for anyone. i'm sick

of living like this, with eyes

looking at me full of pity or

nothing at all.

there is no meaning to this life

without you here with

me.

you were the air i breathed and

the person i wanted

to be.

sometimes i think i don't want to die,

i just wish

i went with

you.

[dontyounderstand]

what is it that is wrong?

what did i do to you?

any of you?

tell me, i want to fix it.

i can't stand the loneliness anymore.

the avoidance.

the empty texts.

just tell me what you need to tell me.

so sick of this.

[dontyounderstand]

i have been unknown to others

my whole aura is made up of what people think i am

not who i am or what i will be

because no one knows me

and they don't want to know

that's not okay

[dontyounderstand]

ever since my creation

no one wanted to know me

i am merely dust floating from place to place

from corner to corner in this dingy house

trying to find its purpose

when there is none

[dontyounderstand]

you won't understand

neither will you

no one will

[dontyounderstand]

i know you all are waiting for my downfall

i'm waiting too

so i can get it over with

[dontyounderstand]

i just wanna be unknown to you

i've been known for too long

please, let me be free