Cowabunga Countdown May 18th
Cowabunga Countdown Best/Worst couple:
Regenta Seri and Michelangelo. There, I said it. I HATE Seri for what she put poor Mikey through. That whole fiasco in Volume 4 of the comics messed him up, man.
As a disclaimer, I would like to point out that I’m missing a few issues of vol 4, but I did some online research to make sure that what I’m about to say hadn’t been overturned in an issue I’m missing.
In volume 4, alien races visiting and even living on Earth is a reality. Thanks primarily to the progressive efforts of the Utroms, humans are attempting to step into the new age. While hate and discrimination are ever-prevalent, it does make for a world that the Turtles can cautiously become a part of.
Enter Mikey acting as an Utrom-appointed guide to some off-worlders. Also, enter a snotty princess, or Regenta, of the Styracodons (pretty much mortal enemies of the Triceratons.)
Seri: You dare to lay your--your common hand upon the Regenta--?!?! You--you low beast! If we were on my world instead of this pathetic clod of dirt...(I would have your hand! Or worse!)”
Yeah, she’s a real self-centered B.
An abusive, self-centered B.
And Mikey takes it all in stride. He speaks to her calmly, tries to keep her out of trouble. After a near-drowning incident, one thing leads to another and apparently the two of them did like they do on the discovery channel. *cue The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang*
Okay, so Mikey got with what we’re all hoping is going to be a one night stand. The poor boy has the hots for her, sure, but she really hasn’t treated him very well up until that point. To top it off? The next day Seri tells Mike that she’s laid eggs. And that they’re his.
As I understand it, a large majority of the fandom assumes that Seri lied to him. Surely, it takes longer than a night for fertilization to occur. But let’s face it, guys. We’re basing our knowledge on the genetics of Earth reptiles. We have NO knowledge of Styracodon reproduction. For all we know, the female develops the eggs whether or not they’re fertilized (like many Earth creatures do). Maybe there’s a coupling period, where the carried eggs are just waiting for that additional genetic input before being laid. And Mike carries Mutagen in his blood (and therefore, semen). A mutagen that has been shown to instigate, well, rapid development. So while the whole overnight conception thing is a little too convenient, it’s not implausible. Why would she have lied about it? He was already in charge of her well-being without any need of manipulation. She though he owed the world to her anyway; there was no need to lie.
Mike: Could life get any better? Well...maybe having some kids with an alien princess! Wait ‘til I tell the guys...”
And poor, sweet Mikey is happy. Excited. He’s gone to find something safe and padded to carry the eggs in. Bless his little optimistic heart.
Except when he returns, the Regenta’s bodyguards that they had slipped away from earlier are there carting the eggs off. Michelangelo intervenes, and gets a tooth knocked out for his trouble.
Oh, yeah. And he also gets kidnapped, illegally taken off-world, and thrown into a Styracodon prison. It’s heartbreaking to watch his optimism and faith crumble into a pit of anger and bitterness. He thinks he sees Seri one day while in prison, and calls out to her only to be ignored. She never comes for him, and he eventually gets broken out by some Triceratons.
Poor, poor Mikey. I have so many feels for the bull that Seri put him through. And what if she was telling the truth about the eggs being of Mike’s decent? Did her people destroy them for being sullied? Does Mike have half-alien children running around the universe?
Sometimes I think about writing a fanfic where a couple of his kids come to Earth to discover their father’s heritage. Seriously, there’s partially developed OCs and a timeline of events rolling around in my head whenever I think about this incident in volume 4. I still do want to write it, but it would be a time-consuming multi-chapter with likely no one to read it and no way to get feedback.
So in the meantime, I just feel terrible for this precious boy and consider Seri/Mike to be the WORST couple in the Turtle-verse.
Picture sources: TMNT #17 & #20
