I've been wondering how to start this post for hours while I got sidelined until now, and I think I can start off with my headspace going into the game now that it's over and I don't have to worry about jinxing it. I was conflicted about what result I wanted to see, but secretly...I think I wanted to see Spain win as much as I wanted the win for Leo.
A lot of my fondness for Argentina has gone now, not because of what happened in the World Cup this summer, but because of the aftermath of the last final and the way they played in the Copa America afterwards. It's a shame that so much of their World Cup run was mired in controversy, almost none of which was their fault; it was one of the reasons why I wasn't sure I wanted to see them lift the trophy. I didn't want that win to be soured. I wanted it to feel like 2022 (though most people forget that Argentina also dealt with criticism then too, but this was on another level). I didn't want people to talk on and on about how undeserved their win was and mentally put an asterisk next to this one.
If they won, it would have been undeserved, but not because of that. It would be because of how terribly they played. There's something astounding about how they came back when on the ropes again and again, but that's not a good sign! And it can only get you so far. I secretly thought it'd be better if they lost because maybe they can take a step back and switch things up because phew, as I said, this goes back to Copa America '24. Something needs to change. New, younger players and a better strategy. Today exemplified what was wrong with Argentina although the way that everything played out (and I'm sure there were moans and groans about this), it showed how level they both were, defensively. But they barely had the ball and the best player on the team was Dibu (once again, he stepped up in a big way and once again, I was attracted to him dalskjfdlasj).
If a team were to win, it should be Spain. They've been the most consistent team if not the most dazzling throughout the tournament. They're not the team that I thought they'd be, and maybe that's why I feel like it's not sinking in that they won, because I know just how brilliant they can be. Just you wait! Just you wait and see what they're like with a fully fit Lamine, Nico, and Fermín. The other reason I think I'm struggling, other than intense sleep deprivation because...uh...I've been sleeping at 3 or 4 or even later nowadays because of the World Cup, work, and some other stuff 🫠 so I kind of feel dead inside, is that I wanted to see this happen again in sixteen years and...it happened.
And now that it happened, I'm in disbelief even while knowing these players could do it since I've watched this generation come into being. It...really happened? They won? I thought of where I was in 2010, how anxiety gripped me from start to finish during that tournament, how I'd agonize over everything, and the ecstasy I felt when they won and wondered if I didn't feel that because it still feels like this team isn't fully formed yet. Because I'm older and as you get older, that rush of intense emotion visits you less frequently. But then I remembered 2022 and well, no, I'm fully capable of feeling that way now.
I'm rambling, but what I think I landed on is that yes, everything felt new and fresh because it was new and fresh for me back then and because I was younger—but it's also because I know what this Spanish side is capable of. I've watched them and followed them for 18–20 years at this point, which is unbelievable to say. Back then, what hung over that Spanish side was that chip on their shoulder; they were the nation that everyone could not believe won nothing, other than one Euro title in 1964, considering how big of a football country they were and how big of an influence they had on the sport. Back then, despite the 2008–2012 Spanish squad being one of the best squads in history, just legend after legend after legend, there was suffering. This grit-your-teeth-and-push-through agonizing toil, even as they showed their genius on the pitch.
But Spain now is a product of the development of their systems from top to bottom, from the youth to the senior sides. There's a reason why they're the first country to win both the men's and women's World Cup back to back and be the current winner of both. I've seen these kids grow up. There's this confidence and this understanding that wasn't there before; famously, Spain had, despite the camaraderie among the players, been fractured. The players have talked about this history and why it was invaluably precious to them that they overcame all that to become a unified group and how they were alarmed when that almost got destroyed by Mourinho and the season of La Liga that came after summer of 2010. They worked so hard for that. Xavi and Iker swiftly talked about what they needed to do to make sure their hard work wasn't undone.
But this Spanish side? They've been friends since they were little kids. You can tell how much they enjoy being around one another, how relaxed they are and how much they trust and are happy with one another. They're so chill and they have the utmost confidence in themselves. You even saw that in their trophy celebrations (my dad remarked on how they felt tame compared to Spain when they won the Euros and World Cup and you saw everyone losing their heads and passionately yelling and running and jumping everywhere).
Okay, wow, now the emotions are hitting me because this is it. This is what's most touching to me. I know the road that got them to this win. I know how the past generation made the foundation brick by brick to get Spain to this stage. I've watched it happen and lived through it. And now I'm thinking of how they're getting to see their legacy blossom. Thinking about this and the way the 2010 players reacted to the goals that were ruled out and Ferran's goal (of course Spain was 0–0 and then got one goal (by a Barça player again!) in extra time to win the match). They were jumping on top of and hugging one another, yelling, and going nuts like they were the ones who won, and seeing how happy they were for these young players with such unreserved abandon was special.
DAMN, YOU GUYS, I'M ON THE VERGE OF TEARS WRITING THIS. IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG JOURNEY!!!!!!! And I need to stop because I need to talk about how I felt during the match, which was...less anxiety-inducing than I thought it'd be. Once the match got under way, I was pretty calm throughout to the point that I was a little worried I felt detached when I didn't want to be. When both teams got chances, I was simultaneously excited and anxious a little, sure, but I don't know. I think it was made easier because of how Spain played the way they always played (though godddd, they really, really, really need stars in their forward lineup and they don't have a reliably outstanding out-and-out striker the way they had Villa and Torres) and the way Argentina played. I might've been stressed the hell out if Argentina played well lol.
They didn't and not only did I feel that Spain had it in the bag even though Argentina were like zombies that never died in this tournament, but despite my secret wishes that had only somewhat to do with football really, I just can't really root for a team that plays the way that Argentina did (well, I might have if they didn't have a World Cup title under their belt), especially when my team was playing them. They barely saw the ball. Leo didn't even get the ball for most of the match. Maybe if Argentina hadn't won a World Cup with Leo, I would have been much more conflicted throughout the match and devastated at the outcome.
But as I said, they at least won in 2022 and what a miracle that run was, what a peerless classic that final was, and I think that was why I was so calm too. Coming into the World Cup, that's how I felt and then I watched Leo play for the first time in a long time, and well, the switch immediately flicked on because no, I really, really want to see him be happy and win...but then I went back to feeling the way I did before the start of the tournament. And that feeling only got cemented when I saw Leo after the match. He wasn't crying (my dad marveled at how he never got mad when he got fouled...also as a total aside which I want to write down so I don't forget it, he said he found it so cute when Leo got the ball because he's so short and his legs are short and...they just go fast and his strides are like a blur, which I get because lol that's how I feel too every time I see him (my parents and I kept exclaiming over that). He also was blown away by how tiny Leo was when the two teams walked out onto the pitch, next to Rodri and with Dibu).
Okay, sorry, back to what I was saying, he wasn't crying. He was taking it all in. The tears came later, when what this meant finally sunk in and then even more when he heard the Argentinian fans sing (loved that they started singing in the last minutes, to show that yes, they lost and didn't play well, but they were behind their team whom they know care deeply about them and playing for them). I nearly lost it when I saw him walk to the stands and take it all in because he deserves that and because this is the stadium in which he decided to walk away from Argentina a decade ago. He decided to retire because losing four finals in a row was too much. Because his country didn't consider him one of their own despite him putting everything on the line for them and being their best player, despite him playing his heart out for them and proving over and over again his loyalty to them. The criticism and hate he got, the cold reception. I was beyond upset when he made that announcement, but I understood.
And now look at him. His decision to come back was rewarded. It's all come back full circle. In the stadium where heartbreak was too much, where he felt alone and miserable with the weight of the Earth on his shoulders and the indifference or even spite that came his way while under that burden, he got, as that video of Pelé today said (and what a video because I literally was reading about it yesterday and what he said at his last match as a player and nearly cried), love, love, and love. The most important thing. The thing more important than any win, any title. What Leo wanted most of all.
And suddenly, despite dreading the end, I was at peace with the idea that this might really be the end of the road because he got what I wanted for him ever since I first started watching him—his biggest dream. I still hope that he still has some more years ahead of him with Argentina, though, because I'd understand if he was waning as a player, but he isn't. He proved how incredible he still is, and I want him to play and enjoy playing as long as he can because he just loves playing though I'd understand if he'd feel that this means this is the best time to go out, between going out while you're still on a high and having your fans and fellow countrymen pack the stadiums like you're on home ground as well as having the best opposing team to go out to (your adopted country that you grew up in and spent most of your life and that loves you and to the kids who are the next generation at the club of your heart, who'll take the torch you held high for so many years and run with it, bringing more joy and more success which you yourself want to see). I'm still not ready for the end and I'll want to walk off a cliff when it happens, but I'm more prepared than before.
I wish we got a more breathtaking match than we did and that Lamine and Leo had actually gone head to head with each other and been in the match more, but I'll take what I got. I'm happy with the outcome, and I'm sure that in the days to come, I'm going to be ecstatic because yes, there are things to be sad about, but it happened and we can't do anything about it so might as well focus on the good thing that happened. SPAIN WON! Spain won.
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