Thhe most fucked up thing in the world is finding out the truth that your gut knew the entire time. Being told all these stained words. That you still spend your days and nights thinking about her. Must be nice to tell someone one day they are your everything and turn around and the next day to never speak to them again. To give them false hope in words like "you never know what the future holds. I know I love you and I only want you, but I just have to focus on myself right now" and "I dont want to be with anyone but you, I just need to figure ME out. To end up seeing you already saying I love you to ANOTHER. Goes to show me you don't have a clue what love is...or atleast not the the way I see love being, how real love feels. I wonder if you even understood the love you had infront of you before you just threw it away. Im still a fucking wreck. Asking myself all kinds of questions. Keeping STUPID AS FUCK hope in my head alive. Why?!?! Idk because in my heart you were my person and oh you made it seem that you thought I was too. I wonder how many people you made believe was your "person". How can you jump right into her arms, into her bed, into her life, fill her heart just moments after you left MY arm, MY bed, MY life, That I still taste YOU on MY lips, while YOU taste HER. That I have cut into my flesh and heart to rid myself of you . Once again because I was the one left standing a fucking idiot for loving someone. Funny how the one who say they will always keep your heart safe are the first to break it. How they wont leave you and are the first to run. You were supposes to be my best friend and my partner. Fuck even just a FRIEND. I don't know how you show love to YOUR friends and the ones you love but how you just left me in the dark disappeared over night after all the things you said and did. I deserved better then that. Shame on you for doing the shit you did. Then there is MEA...and an even bigger shame on me for letting you. For letting any of it happen. I hope you treat her the way you should have treated me. I hope that the things you tell her you ACTUALLY MEAN. You actually do. Dont just leave her the way you left me. So she doesn't sit alone in the dark at night crying her heart out because of the love you gave to her and then ripped away in a blink of an eye. I hope you do it right this time, or leave her before you ruin her the way you ruined me.
-The shaded half of me
