How do I stop being sad about being lonely

Janaina Medeiros
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YOU ARE THE REASON

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@dqs-finest
How do I stop being sad about being lonely
So does the feeling of wanting to die go away at some point?
I wasn’t good enough
After all this time of me trying my best, my worst fear has come true... she left me.
“Saturday” contains the word “turd”
I’m hurting
It’s back. The depression it’s hitting me. I feel like everyone is pushing me away and that everything else is closing in on me. I’m not okay.
Why do I even bother
Lol fuck this
I’m done
“I’ll never forget the first day we started talking”
i just want a girl who touches me distractedly. like sitting watching a movie and she just kinds of drags her fingers over your skin while watching and she doesn’t have a motive she’s not trying to tickle you or be sexual with you she’s just touching your skin and feeling the shape of your bones under that skin like it’s physically comforting for her to know that you’re there right under her fingertips
If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll make time. I never wanted to accept this, but this week has taught me otherwise.
“Anyone else feeling unwanted and not good enough?”
- Just me. Ok.
I don’t get it
How stuff can be going so well and then out of nowhere with no given reason things get weird and I start overthinking. I just want my feelings to be reciprocated back and she can’t seem to do that. I’ve accepted it but sometimes it’d be nice yunno?
(untitled)
whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder was right
but
distance will also make you think about her every time rain paints your window
it will make you pretend that your pillow is her warm body nestled into your curves
it will make her face glow in your mind every time a song mentions a kiss
(whether or not it’s a happy song)
it will make your friends grow inwardly tired of hearing the same story over and over because you haven’t been able to make new memories with her yet
it will make you learn how to tell the passage of time without a watch because youre always counting down months, days, hours, and minutes
it will make you more careful with your money because you need it all to see her and you want to take her out for so many dates to make up for the past few months
it will teach you your best selfie angles and your favourite filters because you send pictures to her every other day
it will show you how hard it is to understand tone and sarcasm over text - especially when you already struggle with that in real life
it will make you hold your own hand at night so you can imagine you’re falling asleep holding *her* hand
it will get you to spend hours curating the perfect long distance playlist for her, only to feel too embarrassed to actually share it
“l-o-v-e” will caress every thought and pierce you with its sharp pink edges, but you’ll wrap it up with blankets of “you’re so beautiful” and “I miss you” and “I had a dream about you” because you want her to hear those four letters before she reads them
you will notice everything wonderful about your home that never before crossed your mind, because you will imagine how wonderful and tiny she would look in front of the mountains
you will realize how much easier it is to just TALK about your day instead of typing it all out when your eyelids are being held down by the weight of exhaustion
you will worry that you’ve forgotten the sound of her voice until the next time you skype her, when you’ll realize that it’s impossible to forget your favourite music
you will see her face everywhere - in the sun that blinds you while you drive, in the forest that speaks to you as you tell children about how magical bees are, in the flames that laugh when you burn your third marshmallow, in the moon that lights your way when you forgot your flashlight, in the Perseids that you stayed up too late to watch, in the night sky that’s so clear, you can taste the milky way
it will be worth it when she meets you at the arrival gate with a smile that could melt the canadian tundra
it will be worth it with every kiss you share to make up for 344 days apart
it will be worth it when the pillow you imagined as her becomes the pillow you share with her
it will be worth it when her voice is pure and clear, no longer filtered through an internet connection
it will be worth it when you can listen to the playlist you never sent her while candles light up your room and you can both smell the rain hitting the pavement outside
it will be worth it when the moon light her lips between kisses
hold in there
@ldrsuggest
“i wonder if i’m on your mind as much as you’re on mine.”
— or even just a little bit.