Don’t Mind The Geiger Counter

It’s definitely not me setting it off ☢️Hello World! I am Dr. Cobalt Mayhem, lab-dwelling mad scientist of the radioactive variety. The pronouns are She/They, though my gender was vaporized accidentally by my latest death ray. Anyhow! Welcome to my lab, hapless traveler! You’re welcome to try my new serum if you like- it’s blue if that sweetens the deal. No, don’t listen to that crackling sound. It’s definitely not a Geiger counter. The serum is definitely not radioactive. OOC- I ask on anon with a tag of -☢️

[science-bastard]

laser beam red… bunsen burner orange… caution tape yellow… toxic sludge green… cherenkov radiation blue… cresyl violet… phenolphthalein pink… you see where i’m going with this?

[starboundmoth]

I've been hard at work in my lab for the last few days.. but today, I can happily present to you a child of sleepless nights and busy days:

The DENOISE-INATOR™! (patent pending)

Just point it at the source of the sound, pull the trigger and watch as it gets banished into the shadow realm! Noisy concert venues? GONE! Extremely loud speakers at your favorite restaurant? Like they never were there! Motorcyclists outside? Disappeared without a trace!

You may get a few strange looks from carrying what looks like an augmented megaphone outside and pointing it at people, but if it works, it works!

- R.Silva

plaintext below cut

I've been hard at work in my lab for the last few days.. but today, I can happily present to you a child of sleepless nights and busy days: The denoise-inator™! (patent pending) Just point it at the source of the sound, pull the trigger and watch as it gets banished into the shadow realm! Noisy concert venues? Gone! Extremely loud speakers at your favorite restaurant? Like they never were there! Motorcyclists outside? Disappeared without a trace! You may get a few strange looks from carrying what looks like an augmented megaphone outside and pointing it at people, but if it works, it works!

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

That’s genius! Oh what I wouldn’t give to simply banish the noisy people at my local cafe out of existence.

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

👻

Do I believe in ghosts? That’s a tough question. The scientist in me says no, but the rest of me says maybe. I haven’t DISPROVEN their existence. And as a cryptid myself I’d say that nobody knows what’s real or what the limits of reality are anymore. I do hope they exist though, we always need more strange happenings in this world.

As for ghostly experiences, there’s the standard fare that comes with setting up shop in abandoned labs that people definitely have been murdered in. Though I cannot prove if it really is a ghost or just my mind playing tricks on me. Strange lights, cold gusts of air, what have you. What I cannot explain though, is the one time I felt a tap on my shoulder, turned, and saw no one there.

So who knows. They’ve got a good chance to be real and I’m an optimist.

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

I know where all the local scientists are, they’re the best kind of people. I test around yknow?

anyways! sippy sip! -🐇

That’s certainly one way to go about helping out an honest scientist or two. I’m a nuclear chemist myself but lately I’ve been getting out of my comfort zone a bit to get into the truly mad science. Sure, it’s handy to stick to what you have a degree in, but it gets a bit suffocating, you know? And thanks for the compliment, I’d say you’re the best type of test subject too.

The serum would take a minute to work, that minute was filled with Cobalt incessantly pacing and hoping it would work. It did! You would find yourself in the form of a small toy Poodle, absolutely an adorable little aberration of reality. If a short lived one. In about ten minutes you’d find yourself back in your original form.

Oh! Success! I didn’t expect that to work, all the mice I used turned into Chihuahuas and my rat turned into a cat for some reason. This’ll be effective to sabotage the mayoral election with. Do you still want that juice?

[getvalentined]

An open letter to @staff

I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.

The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.

Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.

This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.

This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.

Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.

You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.

Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.

This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.

You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.

The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.

You can do so much better than this.

[jv]

The CEO is 100% behind the changes. In fact I suspect half of the post from yesterday comes straight from him "correcting" an earlier version of those core values.

[theholidaysystem]

Actually 40 thousand is the number of notes from the post! The actual number of votes is nearly 100 thousand more people!

[getvalentined]

It had 40 thousand when I wrote this post about an hour or two after the poll initially went live, hence why I said "at the time of writing." The original post has been updated with a footnote covering the final results.

[charmymemes]

𝐎𝐂 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒!

feel free to tweak questions + all emojis r listed in text form bc i can't see some of them aAAaaAA! sorry if any of these questions are too similar i tried to avoid that but .. there's a lot lol! categorized by emoji type.

i wanted to make one because i could not find one on tumblr already that had a ton of questions. this was created by combining ones under the #oc ask game tag + my own contributions. hi charmymemes nation i'm back.

people

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical...)?

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

👻 GHOST - do they believe in ghosts? what are their "ghostly experiences", if any?

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

😭 CRYING - what makes them cry? do they cry easily?

👊 PUNCH - are they quick to violence?

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

💤 SLEEPING - do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep?

food & drinks

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

🍩 DONUT - favourite sweet treat?

🍟 FRIES - do they order food often? or they prefer to cook their own food?

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE - do they prefer hot or cold drinks? what is their favourite drink?

🍓 STRAWBERRY - do they eat their fruit & veg? what is their favourite fruit or vegetable?

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

plants & nature

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?

🍁 MAPLE LEAF - what is their favourite season? why?

🍃 FALLING LEAF - do they enjoy being in nature? what is their favourite outdoor activity?

☀️ SUN - are they a morning person? what is the first thing they do in the morning?

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

🌹 ROSE - do they like valentines day? have they been confessed to before? have they confessed to anyone before?

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

🌱 SEEDLING - what is their most vivid memory from childhood?

🍀 CLOVER - do they believe in luck? are they lucky?

🌏 EARTH - will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

activity

⚾ BASEBALL - can they play sports? what is their best position if they play a team sport? what's their strong suit (speed, power etc.)?

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

objects

📣 MEGAPHONE - how loud are they? what do they speak like? got a voice claim?

📖 OPEN BOOK - do they like reading? what's their favourite genre?

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

📸 CAMERA - do they enjoy having their picture taken? what's their go-to pose? do they like taking photos? what do they take photos of?

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

💡 LIGHTBULB - is your oc a planner? do they write down every small detail or just wing it?

💎 DIAMOND - how rich are they? can they live the lifestyle they want to?

🎁 PRESENT - what types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?

🍼 BABY BOTTLE - what are their thoughts on children?

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

🎵 MUSIC NOTE - what is their playlist like? their favourite artists? do you associate a particular song with them?

🎤 MICROPHONE - are they good at singing? what is their go-to karaoke song?

🎷 SAXOPHONE - do they play any instruments? are they any good at it?

📚 BOOKS - how were they at school? what is their best subject? what is their worst subject? do they have a favourite subject?

👖 JEANS - what is their go-to outfit?

🎨 PALETTE - can they draw? what do they like to draw?

🎡 FERRIS WHEEL - are they someone who wants to kiss at the top of the ferris wheel?

⏳ HOURGLASS - are they usually late or on-time?

🔫 PISTOL - do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

🎀 RIBBON - how would they fit into other worlds / aus? what aus would you like to try out? what fictional world would they fit / not fit into?

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

📦 PACKAGE - what are some "most likely to..." that can apply to them?

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

⚙️ GEAR - what are your ocs thoughts on science & art? which do they give more importance to? how much value do they place on each?

🔧 WRENCH - are they good at fixing relationships? or do they tend to avoid doing so?

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

📏 RULER - is your oc well educated? where did they get their learning from?

transport

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

🚲 BICYCLE - can they ride a bike? what do they remember from learning to ride a bicycle?

weather

🌩️ LIGHTNING - are they scared of lightning?

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

❄️ SNOWFLAKE - do people consider them cold? if so, what made them this way?

🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

🔥 FIRE - do they have any self destructive tendencies? what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

🌟 GLOWING STAR - what do they think about when they look at the night sky? is there someone they want to star gaze with?

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

hearts

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticable? what changes when they're in love?

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

💙 BLUE HEART - do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn't around?

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

💖 SPARKLING HEART - are they a subtle or a showy lover?

💌 LOVE LETTER - do they like love letters? what kind of messages do they leave for their partner?

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

[watdahael]

PLEASE DO THIS!!

[crustycrow]

I'M STARTING A MAD SCIENCE DISCORD SERVER.🧪🥼🥽⚗️🧫🧬💉🔬🩻🫧⚡️🔥💥💣🦴🦷👁🫁🫀🧠📋🩸🔩☠️⚠️☢️☣️

are you a lover of mad science? a mad scientist yourself? a normal scientist slowly loosing it and realising their fate? a fan of mad scientists, fictional or physical? then welcome to my new Discord server, name yet to be decided through suggestions, discussion and voting! on tumblr there are wizards, gremlins, fairies, cryptids, vampires, ghosts and more, but i've noticed there is actually quite a few mad scientist friends on here to, so i'm doing this in an effort to bring our little community together a bit more.

in this server, we will do all things related to science, mad or not, as well as just hang out and have a great time: talking about science stuff, share media and music, own experiments and discuss unhinged theories and plans, be silly, cause chaos, whatever, you name it.

DM me if interested and i'll send you an invite!

looking forward to hanging out with my fellow lab coat-wearing, chemical loving, hysterically laughing, lab safety violating bastards. :)

[yourfriendlyneighborhoodcatfish]

j

j

[freelance-fiend]

j

[watdahael]

j

[moderndaymadscientist]

j

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

j

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

this bun will drink a mysterious serum if he gets a juice afterwards

-🐇

Oh! A volunteer! That’s definitely a good change, volunteers make for better experiments in my opinion. Plus I can’t abduct more than a few people from the local communities before people get suspicious.

She offers a glowing green serum, it kind of smells like cinnamon mixed with the general smell of chemicals. The whole lab smells like chemicals. Dr. Mayhem is not one for excessive ventilation.

I do have juice, uh, it’s just apple juice from my lab partner’s fridge though. She keeps it stocked. I don’t need to eat all too often, but she does. My fridge is just full of specimens. Also how did you find my lab?

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

The hero didn't seem at all scared by the sharks in the vat of water I was dangling them over, so I am now taking suggestions for how to make sharks scarier

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

Have you tried taping lasers to them? I don’t use sharks much (at least, not biological ones), but lasers seem to be good hero deterrents in my experience. Hope this helps! :)

[fusionpoweredasexual]

Evil science is not just chemistry!

There is a very common misconception about evil science which is that it´s all chemistry. Most evil scientists in pop culture are chemists with weird colored stains on their lab coats (horribly unsafe and irresponsible but that´s not the point I'm trying to make today). Compared to the amount of test tubes and Bunsen burners you never see any evil radio telescopes or evil MRI machines. I think this stereotype stems from the fact that evil chemists tend to die in very spectacular ways.

Evil chemists usually tend to get incinerated by massive fireballs or swallowed by tsunamis of acid. This is nearly always more dramatic than most other evil scientists, to combat this misconception and spread more awareness about evil science, I´ve constructed a short list detailing the most common types of death for different disciplines of evil science.

Evil physicists tend to get stuck and starve inside the particle accelerators, or they get crushed by the mountains or whiteboards, notebooks and papers that tend to accumulate in their rooms.

Evil zoologists get eaten at an alarming rate during field expeditions, and those that aren´t are usually found with poison in their bloodstream.

Evil geneticists and evil roboticists are more alike than you´d think, since they are usually killed by their artificially created lifeforms in extremely preventable situations usually stemming from treating said creations in very cruel ways.

No one has seen the evil astronomers since they tried to build a death star around Jupiter.

Evil Immunologists, the scientists specializing in weird diseases and their impact on humans, I think their cause of death is quite obvious.

Evil engineers tend to kill each other fighting for an obscure type of screw that only exists in a single IKEA in the world that they somehow all need for their project, and if you care about your personal wellbeing do not suggest that they replace it with a more common type of screw.

So the next time you see an evil chemist dying spectacularly as their laboratory gets swallowed by fire and poison, please do remember that that is not representative evil science as a whole.

This has been an evil science PSA with you friendly neighbourhood supervillain, Fusionpoweredasexual, thank you for listening to my ted talk.

[untitledba]

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

Oooooooo do you have a crusssshhhhhhhhh?

Maybe I do. Is that any of your business though? Everyone knows that most mad scientists are destined to fall in love with their lab partners.

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

37 & 48

37: Do I have any phobias?

No, not that I know of. Well, maybe spiders. They look disgusting and they have too many legs. 0/10, I hate them.

48: What was my lowest point? What was my highest point?

My lowest point came quite recently. My dear lab partner Dr. Mischief had disappeared. I had assumed she left me. In truth she was just lost in my lab which I am assuming to be infinite at this point, but I am a person who assumes the worst so everything just spiraled.

My highest point would definitely be causing the entire town of Clearview to evacuate and call in a decontamination squad. I didn’t even mean to do it, I was just trying to blow up the town hall, but apparently there were some tanks of toxic waste hidden in the basement by another villain, so the whole town got contaminated. I’ve since moved on to bigger and better cities but terrorizing those locals with my latest inventions was always a good time.

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

📝

Accessing Medical Record…

Record has been purged. Initiate recall procedures?

...

RECALLING Medical record of Dr. Cobalt Mayhem:

Childhood Experimentation Log results: Retains few physical characteristics of a cryptid without the aggression. More observation required to monitor progression into adulthood. Recommended to stay within home city. [UPDATE. Subject has left home city. Efforts are still being made to locate subject]

University medical record:

Fractured right radius and ulna, and collapsed left lung in car accident. Required surgery on collapsed lung but made full recovery.

Attempt at trimming fangs unsuccessful.

Massive exposure to radiation during lab accident, no effects recorded. Fled hospital to continue working.

After receiving her doctorate, she fell off the stage and suffered a concussion. She escaped the hospital and is still considered missing.

UNAUTHORIZED UPDATE DECTECTED. INCLUDE IN RECORD?

...

Personal update:

I’m still immune to radiation. But not to heat. Burned left forearm. Hopefully it won’t scar.

Death ray accident again. Singed my eyebrows off. Luckily my serums work and they regrew. But I think there’s some nerve damage still. Will have to experiment more.

Wait. Why am I making a log anyhow. Maybe I should just purge this whole thing. One less way for people to find me.

[3n-vee]

The extremely detailed OC ask meme

Send me a number and an OC and I’ll answer!

The Basics

1. Age, Birthday, Star Sign

2. Gender Identity

3. Orientation and Relationship status (single, taken (by who?), crush (on who?))

4. Race and Ethnicity

5. Height and Body type

6. Headcanon VA

7. Occupation

8. Weapon of Choice(?)

9. Hometown and current residence

10. Do they have any markings, piercings or scars?

11. Do they have any notable features, like horns, tails, or so on?

12. Own any pets?

13. Have any kids?

14. Can they cook? Can they bake?

15. Can they sing? Can they dance?

16. Can they drive?

17 Can they fight?

18. Have any special keepsakes?

Interests

19. Hobbies

20. Clothing/Aesthetic

21. Fave food(s) and drink(s)

22. Fave Color

23. Fave Genre

24. Fave Season

25. City or Country?

26. Guilty Pleasure

Storytime

27. What’s their family like? Who’s in it? What’s their relationship with them?

28. Are they literate? Did they go to school? How long? What level?

29. What was childhood like?

30. What was adolescence like?

31. What’s their current main conflict?

32. What steps have they taken to overcome this conflict?

33. How have they changed over time?

For Fun

34. What’s their room look like right now?

35. What are they like as a friend?

36. What are they like as a partner?

37. Do they have any phobias?

38. Did/do they go anywhere special for vacations?

39. Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order?

40. What time do they go to bed, usually?

41. What’s their morning routine like?

42. What’s the dumbest thing your character’s done?

43. What pokemon would your character be (if they’re already a pokemon/gijinka tell us what they are, and how that’s affected them)?

44. What’s their pokemon team? Try to pick all 6.

45. Theme song (and a playlist if you’ve got it!)

46. If this character was in a musical, what would their motif be (what kind of instruments do you hear, what’s the tempo, ect).

The Deep Lore™

47. What was this character’s biggest turning point in their life, something that changed them almost completely?

48. What was their lowest point? What was their highest point?

49. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?

50. What are some motifs associated with your character?

51. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?

52. How are you and your character the same? How are you different?

53. Expectations vs Reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?

54. What does your character want, and what do they need?

55. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? When happens when these all interact with each other?

56. What’s your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?

[dr-cobalt-mayhem]

❌️

Deleted File 6/24/23 Loading…

DATA RETRIEVED:

[AUDIO TRANSCRIPT]:

“Damn it. I’m getting soft. What was I, stupid, dumb. I can’t think anymore. What kind of useless cryptid am I, just hair and fangs and show. Can’t keep a lab partner for more than two weeks and the only one that cares for our work and stays is lost and it’s all my fault. I’m useless.”

EXPLOSION SOUND

“Shit! My fume hood!”

FOOTSTEPS

“Oops. Didn’t know that was recording. Guess I’ll be deleting that.”