"Yes, he's always been an idiot. But I don't think you really understand how isolating Hogwarts was. I was just a girl thrown into a completely new world. Throw in and being so naturally good at it with a drive to be better...people weren't clamoring to be around me. For a long time I internalized that I was annoying, difficult to be around. I believed it. It's not something I'm proud of, it is what it is though. Now I've grown, and he really hasn't. It's warped him into something bitter and the truth is that I know I need to let go and I will." It feels strange to be having this conversation with Malfoy of all people. She'd be lying though if saying it out loud didn't lift some weight off her chest though. "What about you? You're not happy either, Malfoy, any plans of letting go?"
"It's different for me." He replies, it is a reflex. A sentence he has said often when Pansy or Theo bullied him about how annoying Astoria was. Well, usually it was followed up by one of them offering to help bury the body and lie to the aurors. "It was never about being happy. Which...I'm well aware of how utterly depressing saying that aloud sounds but it's truth. My marriage is," He mentally digs for the word. "Acceptable. Astoria for all her annoyance is doing everything someone of status usually does. Living her own life. Keeping appearances and never making trouble. She is polite to my parents and doesn't seem bothered by my role in the war or dark mark. I know for a fact that is the best someone like me can expect." -he knows because he looked. His parents had high hopes after all, for his future bride and Draco was desperate to fulfill that. He had failed so much on so many fucking levels, but he could be a good husband. He wanted to be. He wanted to find a partner, someone to share his life with just like his parents had with each other. Someone to hold on to even when the world was nothing but darkness. Draco threw himself into the marriage pool just as soon as they had released him from the cell after his court hearing.
Which, in retrospect was his first mistake. No one of akin to his breeding wanted anything to do with Draco Malfoy; the youngest Death Eater in history. They didn't want their daughters connected to a man who let the Dark Lord own him. Who let Hogwarts be invaded or tried to kill Dumbledore. Even if they were just as willing to be against muggles during the war to follow, post Harry Potter's victory they were less vocal about it.
Oh his family money was still good enough to spend, to get them through the doors of society but not enough to make Draco worthy.
"It won't make sense to you, considering everything but I am grateful to her. Astoria comes from the Greengrass family. They've been friendly with the Malfoys and Blacks since my grandfather's time. They were one of the few families that didn't throw us out the door when marriage talks were brought up. Our parents are friends. They don't have quite the vaults we do, but enough that I know she isn't out to rob me blind. We don't get along but I don't think she will kill me in my sleep. The fact that we don't love each other is really just my problem. I expected a marriage like my parents and I truthfully I shouldn't put that on her. Their marriage was a one in a generational love story. They got lucky. When the fuck have I ever been lucky?" Draco huffs out a bitter laugh at the mere idea, "To want more would be foolish and I'm too tired to keep playing that role."