Start a business selling faulty rpg items. Such as brass knuckles that do 1d6 lightning damage but due to conduction you also take damage.
A flail made from aloe leaves so it healed as it dealt damage.
A ring of frostbite. Over time your hand slowly gets more and more frostbitten.
An enchanted scythe. Once in battle, it becomes painfully obvious the “enchantment” was Minor Illusion. It’s actually made of cardboard.
An axe that doesn’t do damage but makes enemies smell nice.
A bow that only shoots where you’re aiming if you’re blackout drunk.
A sword that does untyped area of effect damage. With d12s. Many of them.
A sword that is actually just a really big butter knife.
A crossbow that when not in use becomes a large raven to fly around on its own. It has its own, very specific ideas as to when and where it is in use.
A Staff of Goodwill that rather than making peace with others just gives you bargain bin items.
a shuriken that is actually a fidget spinner
The Scone of Stone. A pastry designed to last forever, really just a rock with raisins painted on.
A torch of everlasting fire, but in all reality it just lasts like ten minutes longer than an average torch.
A healing potion that’s just tequila
a summoning item that is shaped like a bunny
only summons dogs
and only if close enough hear to hear it make squeaky noises
love squeaky toy noises
A cursed idol which, on closer inspection, is just a happy meal toy from a McDonalds franchise in R'lyeh.
a stealth cloak that makes people talk over you in conversations

















