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SCARS FT. CONNOR STOLL

A/N: I hate the ending but it’s whatever. I might go on a hiatus because I’ve been so busy lately. I wouldn’t even consider this spice but it’s whateverrrre

Warnings: regular scars and the girl making the first move because Connor is a little nervous..

Reader: Medjack! Fem! Reader and Nervous! Connor Stoll.

Request?: yep!!

Tags:

Length: medium?

Connor had pulled a prank on Clarisse, and she had made it clear it would be the last time too.

As Chiron was chewing Connor out since this was the 5th prank he had pulled in 2 weeks, he wondered who was in the infirmary, Who would treat him, and if they would be pretty.

And oh boy was she.

As Chiron closed up his ‘this is not the time nor place’ speech, he greeted you at the door and told Connor to sit down. He did as he was told, not wanting to add on to the long list of punishments that he already had from previous days. Chirons footsteps faded as he walked away.

“Hey.” You say as you walk over to him, silently telling him to turn around.

“Hi.” He says, looking you at you from his seat in the infirmary bed. He quickly nods and stands up.

You lift up his shirt, your fingers slightly touching his back while you do so.

Shit.

Connor thought as he tried to stay as still as possible. He was so NOT nonchalant about this. You and barely even touched him and he as already crumbling.

You instruct him to put his hands up, and he does so. You slowly take off his bright orange camp half blood shirt, slight blood stained and ripped from Clarisses slashes. Some of them were fresh with blood but, some of them were old, and healed. They ran all over his back, some even to the front of his stomach. You can help but run your fingers over them. They make a pattern, from monsters and fights.

They were so hot.

But you can’t get distracted.

“Damn. I’m guessing..Clarisse?” You mutter as you throw his shirt on the bed. He looks up at you with his blue eyes. They soften as they look up at you but you try to think nothing of it.

“Uh…yeah-I really need to stop pulling pranks on Clarisse.”

“Mhm..” you say in response as you continue to run your fingers around his back, lightly. Not wanting to hurt him. You finally snap out of it and you get your cotton pad really to cleanse the wounds. Even though you turned, you can feel Connor’s eyes burning to your back. He was so flirty and loud with others, but not with you, he was soft with you. He spoke quietly and respectfully, like if he said something you didn’t like or didn’t find funny, you would shatter into a million pieces.

As the cotton pad meet his biggest gash, he groaned. You wanted to close your legs by hearing the sounds coming out of him, but you pushed those thoughts aside. You mutter a quick sorry and continue.

A couple of “sorry” s later, you were done with Connor’s back.

As you moved to the front of his body, and his shoulders, you had to stand between his legs and clean the wounds.

Easy. Right?

Connors whines and groans kept getting louder and you caught yourself pressing harder on the cotton pad just to hear him.

After you were done, you roamed your hands around his body, telling yourself that you were looking for ‘invisible scars’ on his shoulders and on his abdomen.

Meanwhile, Connor was drunk off of body touch, he blurred out everything he was thinking. It was like his mind was a foggy bathroom mirror. You naturally started to massage his shoulders, his body often leaning back to your touch. You would think he was bold for doing this, but as soon at you looked into his eyes, he darted them away, like this was the time to play eye tag.

“Connor…?” You slur out, the room feeling steamy now.

“Y/N..?” Connor pleaded, his voice cracking.

You usually didn’t have to make the first move with other boys but Connor was different. Connor was too nervous to start small talk. It was like you had him wrapped around your finger. And honestly, you liked it like that.

You move you to his neck, turning his face up to look at you. As you inch closer, you start to wonder if you just misread him, that maybe he doesn’t like you back. But if he was acting like this, he must. You thought.

“Can I?” You say, looking for a pass to kiss Connor, your foreheads practically touching. His pupils dilate and he nods quickly into the kiss.

Connor was a clumsy kisser, often kissing the sides of your mouth and you having to redirect him. You motion for him to get up and to the bed, and he blushed before laying on it.

You start to climb him, pressing kisses through his shorts, on his stomach, neck, and finally face. He groans with satisfaction as you kiss his neck, not planning to leave a hockey, but you do anyway.

You started to take off your shirt and Connor rubbed your waist, in a up and down motion, his hands bringing warmth on you that you loved.

Connor had got a little confidence. You were glad you were rubbing off on him. You pulled in for the kiss again, it being tender and lustlful before you hear the door open.

Fuck. Connor thought. He could never have nice things.

You grabbed your camp-half-blood t shirt and quickly put it on. You took yourself off of Connor’s lap, where you were prior to being interrupted.

“Connor, are you okay? I heard grunting, and I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” Chiron said as he walked farther into the infirmary.

Connor was better than ever, actually.

As you cleaned up, giving him a new camp shirt and slipping a few hickeys in between..cough cough. He was ready to leave. You sat in the chair that was meant for the patient, and waved a goodbye, Connor stumbled out of the infirmary.

Connor should really pull more pranks on Clarisse.

cyclopson

Your shutting yourself out from the fandom by not interacting with work that has “white” aesthetic lol

idk why you put white in quotation marks. black folk have BEEN telling you that you guys aren’t being inclusive when you include pics and narrative that centers white people. idgaf if it’s to “set the tone” of the fic. y’all can die, i’m not interacting with that wattpad ass shit!

and if that means i’m “shutting myself out of the fandom” then i actually don’t give a fuck. i think y’all need to stop writing READER INSERTS through a white lens actually! start tagging that as x oc instead

dewypout

uu should do praiser!conner stoll discovering squirting,,,,, mwehee imagine or drabble it's up to uu

— his praise makes me weak, ft. Connor Stoll

𝑐𝑤 :: 17+ // praise // fingering // squirting 𝑎𝑛 💬 :: hehehe, i really like this. kinda made it connected to this fic. 𑣲masterlist

ever since connor fucked you through your anger, he’s been thinking about it: how his praise made you reach ecstasy, and made your mind leave worries behind, even if only for a bit. but just how much did his praise really turn you on? “con— ah, wait—” the words died on your tongue as one of his slender digits slung your cotton panties to the side, nestling itself deeply into your glistering cunt.

oohlillie

⟶ 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑡. 2

𝘑𝘰𝘦 𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

「 Read part one here : complicated 」

WORD COUNT : 2.7K

Summary : After months, your baby finally arrives and nothing seems complicated anymore.

Warnings : reader and joe crying; FLUFF; i don’t think there’s other; possible grammatical errors, not proofread

Lillie talks : It took me sooo long and i’m not even really satisfied 😭 Enjoy it girls 💕 Read more of my work here : masterlist. Request are always open, feel free to ask anything !

English is NOT my first language, sorry if i wrote wrong !! c:

When you entered your ninth pregnancy month you couldn’t wait anymore. You’d dream about your future baby for your entire life, just for a unknown person to ruin it in less than a second and for another to revive it few months later. Now you had enough of your belly and of the multiples medical appointments to make sure that your baby was okay, you just wanted to see it. To hold it in your arms and kiss it.

The thing you wanted the most was seeing Joe with your baby, holding it and taking care of it. You knew Joe was the best with children, he loved them and kids loved him. For the past few months he hadn’t stopped talking to your belly and kissed it good night everyday, sometimes he would even put his headphones on your belly and played some of his music, boasting himself.

The first two months flew by. You were too busy grieving your nonexistent baby to realize that you were pregnant, only to found out about your pregnancy from a stranger in a hospital.

You spent half the third month in your bed, head aching and coughing with a terrible pain in your lower back and stomach. You were scared, not for you but for your baby. You knew there was some risks because of your infertility, your baby could’ve stopped growing in the middle of the pregnancy or worst, just die at the birth from a malformation or a random illness caused by your disease. Joe was scared too, but even in his fear he spent hours reassuring you.

At the end of the month you had your first ultrasound. You hadn’t seen your gynecologist since she’d "ruined" your life, but today you came with exciting news. This time Joe came with you. He had that smile that you only saw at the best moments of his life, the one he wore at the proposal and at the wedding, or when his song was top 1 in the entire world. He held your hand tightly for the entire drive to the hospital. Your gynecologist welcomed you with a smile on her face that instantly grew when you told her your little secret. She even gave you a hug and congratulated both of you.

When you led down as she started spreading the cold gel across your stomach, your heart pounded violently in your chest. You couldn’t wait to see it, you couldn’t wait to know if your baby was okay.

“There’s your baby..” She said while smiling softly.

You quickly turned your head to the monitor and saw that tiny shape inside of you. It was so small but so big at the same time. A smile spread across your face as you turned to Joe to see him smile even more than you.

Then the room filled with a sound, a fast and steady one. Your baby’s heartbeat. It echoed through the room, loud enough to drown out every fear you had carried for months. The tears quickly came as Joe finally looked at you, his eyes softening. For several minutes, neither of you spoke.

The doctor checked some little things as you cried watching your baby. And you kindly refused when she asked you if you wanted to know the gender. You wanted to keep it as a surprise for the birth, you weren’t the kind of person who does a baby shower.

When you got back home, Joe had in his hand the ultrasound picture and quickly stuck it to the fridge. He even took a picture of it and made it his lock screen, making him smile every time he touched his phone.

By the fourth month the fear began making more room for excitement. The morning sickness were now part of the routine and your random pains suddenly stopped. The doctor assured you that everything was progressing beautifully. Every appointment brought another reassuring heart beat, another glimpse of tiny arms and legs beginning to form. You started imagining what it would look like, whose eyes the baby might have, would it have Joe’s smile or yours.. You even started searching for baby’s furniture and room ideas.

On the fifth month, your energy has completely returned. There was no more concern, only love.

One rainy afternoon, Joe came home carrying some shopping bags. You knew he loved buying new clothes with his friends, they were always thrifting somewhere in new york city. Every time he came home with bags, you asked him for a try on haul ‘cause you loved watching him being happy with the things he bought.

“Ooh.. What did you buy this time ?” You asked him with a big smile.

“Well, it’s not really for me this time.” He answered smiling more and dropping the bags on the couch next to you. You quickly opened the bags to see little clothes, the smallest socks you’d ever seen and a baby pink onesie with a little bear on it. It was so soft between your hands.

“It’s so small.” You said quietly completely mesmerized by the baby’s clothes.

“Our baby’s even smaller.” He said a large grin on his face, you laughed quietly.

Later that day, when the sun has finally dipped down, you sat with Joe in the empty nursery, already imagining where every furniture’s gonna be. The small clothes resting on your lap.

Then all of a sudden, the first kicked happened while Joe was talking. Your eyes flushed open and your hand immediately rested against your belly.

“Joe.” You cut him.

“What ?” You grabbed his hand and placed it carefully on your stomach. For several long seconds, nothing. Then a little tap against his hand made his eyes grew wide. Another tiny kick silenced you both. You just stared at each other and smiled, mouth half-opened. A small tear run down your cheek as Joe’s thumb started drawing small circles on your belly.

That evening Joe talked to your stomach for almost an hour.

The sixth month reminded you that pregnancy was never entirely free from worry. During a routine appointment, your gynecologist paused a little longer than usual while exhaling the baby’s heart. The room became unbearably quiet.

Then she explained that there appeared to be a very small irregularity, nothing alarming yet but enough that she wanted a more detailed scan with a specialist, just to be certain.

The drive home was almost silent. Your hand held your bump the entire time, and you tried to steady your breath. Joe noticed and quickly squeezed your thigh. Every fear you thought you’d left behind came rushing back.

You didn’t slept that night, you search the entire internet for an answer that only a doctor could give you. Joe laid with one arm wrapped protectively around you, his hand resting over your stomach. You cried quietly when you saw people loosing their babies at six month.

Joe suddenly woke up, probably from the small sobs leaving your lips, “You’re okay ?” He asked quietly, hugging you tighter.

You slowly shook your head, “What if something’s wrong ?” Your voice broke.

“Shh.. come here.” He said as your turn around and hurried in his arms again, resting your face inside his neck as his hands wandered on your back.

A week later, the doctor smiled before either of you could even ask, “The heart looks beautiful.” You let out a breath you knew you were holding and immediately smiled. The tiny irregularity had resolved on its own as the baby continued developing. Nothing more needed to be done.

The seventh and eighth months felt peaceful. The baby continued growing. Your thoughts were filled with small things like tiny diapers, stuffed animals, pacifiers. You spent an entire day painting the walls of the nursery in a cream color. Assembling the crib and some other furnitures.

Your belly had grown round. Every kick had become stronger you could see tiny movements ripple beneath your skin. Joe started kissing your stomach every morning before leaving for the studio, the good nights weren’t enough for him.

He’d kissed you, then your bump, “Good morning, little one.” He’d whisper.

By the ninth month, the nursery was finally finished. Tiny clothes filled the dresser, little products sat on the changing table, plushies were comfortable in the tiny crib.

The only thing missing was your baby. You just had to wait few weeks and then you’ll be able to hug him or her.

By the time the clock struck nine, you could barely keep your eyes open. This last week particularly exhausted you in a way you had never experienced before. You stretched slowly before getting up from the couch and glanced toward Joe.

“I’m gonna sleep,” you yawned, “I’m exhausted.”

“Already ?”

“Your child is stealing all my energy.”

He laughed quietly and grabbed your hand, pulling you closer to him so he could kiss your belly. You smiled softly and disappeared down the hallway to your bedroom, hearing Joe shouting "i love you".

After an hour, or maybe two, Joe finally slipped quietly into the bedroom. Moonlight spilled across the room through the curtains. You were already sleeping when Joe climbed into the bed next to you.

You were curled carefully on your side with your pregnancy pillow tucked under your belly. He moved closer until he was pressed gently against your back. One of his arm slipped carefully around your waist, resting protectively beneath your bump and he kissed the back of your shoulder.

“I can’t wait.” He whispered softly against your ear.

There was only a few more weeks, only a little longer until you would finally meet the little person who had already changed both of your lives.

You smiled softly without opening your eyes. You slowly tuned around, a complicated maneuver with your very round belly. When you finally faced him, you opened your eyes. He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled.

“You comfortable ?”

You nodded before he leaned forward and kissed your forehead. You reached for him as best you could and hugged him, your belly making the embrace kinda awkward. Within moments, you had fallen asleep again. Joe followed not long afterward, one hand still resting lightly over your stomach.

Around 1 a.m., you wake up with a familiar urge. You sighed whispering a small "again" between your lips. For the past months you’d woken up a thousand times at night to go pee, your baby was crashing down on your bladder, making impossible to hold it in. It was the third times tonight and you couldn’t handle it anymore, you needed some sleep.

You carefully untangled yourself from Joe’s arms, trying not to wake him. He stirred only slightly but never wakes up. The bedroom remained dark as you entered the bathroom, turning on the light after closing the door behind you with one hand always supporting your aching back. You sat down on the toilet after pulling down your pants and made your affair, half asleep. When you finished, you flushed the toilet and stood at the sink to wash your hands, before drying them with a small towel. You paused for a moment, yawning while both of your hands rested on the sink to steady yourself.

But then you felt a strange sensation followed by a sound of water falling on the bathroom tiles. Your frowned as a warm liquid ran down your legs. You glanced down, “Oh.” You sighed. You couldn’t wait to give birth, you wanted this more than anything right now, but tonight wasn’t the right time. You were tired like you’d never been before — probably because your body knew — and the only thing you wanted and needed right now was settling back in Joe’s arms to sleep.

You rubbed both your hands down your face and sighed again, not really realizing what just happened. You weren’t ready, you still had two weeks left, tonight wasn’t the night. You blinked once, your exhaustion keeping you calm.

You grabbed a towel and placed it beneath your feet before slowly moving back toward the bedroom where Joe remained completely asleep. You reached out and gently shook his shoulder.

“Joe.” You whispered, “Joe.” You repeated a little louder, shaking his shoulder again. A sleepy groan left his lips as he hums slowly.

“My water broke.”

“What …?” His voice muffled by the pillow.

You smiled and laughed quietly, “My water broke.” You repeated.

Then Joe’s eyes flew open and he immediately sat up in the bed, “Are you serious right now ?” You nodded, a small grin on your lips. “Oh my god, baby, are you okay ?” He said as he reached for your hand, pulling you closer. You could see panic washing over his face.

You laughed quietly, “Yeah. I am.”

“Sure ? You’re not hurting or anything ?”

You shook your heard slowly, “I’m okay.” A grin still spread across your lips. “I was planning on sleeping until at least 1p.m. tomorrow but yeah, i’m okay.”

He lets out a long breath and mumble “oh my god..” while running his hands down his face. “You- we have to-” You could hear panic growing in his voice.

You grabbed his hand and squeezed it, “Joe, it’s okay. I’m okay. You’re okay.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second, “Okay, okay.”

After spending 20 minutes finishing up your hospital bag, you were finally sitting in the car on your way to the hospital. One of Joe’s hand was tight around the steering wheel and his breath heavy, while his other hand rested on your thigh.

When you finally settled in the hospital room, which was way too bright and smelled weird, you felt the first small contraction in your lower belly, making you squeeze on Joe’s hand.

“You alright ?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah.. For now.” You said. But five minutes later the anesthesiologist placed you the epidural because your contractions suddenly tripled and the pain settled deep inside you.

After you spent an hour pacing back and forth around the room, rolling your hips on a gym ball and trying stretches to relieve the pain, the nurse entered the room to tell you that it was finally the time.

The pushing surprisingly took only 1 hour, probably less. You can’t even remember what happened, only the nurses voice telling you to push, Joe’s hand in yours while the other braced under your knee. You’d never seen him concentrated like this before, even when he was on set. His soft voice saying that he was proud of you.

Your baby girl arrived at 3:26 a.m.. Tears fell down your cheeks at the same time as your daughter, laying on your chest now.

The hugest smile spread across Joe’s face as one of his hand reached for her. Then small tears rolled down his face. You look at him, he looks at you, then back at your baby. Everything feel peaceful even in the loud screams.

She was pretty, so perfect in your eyes. So tiny you were almost scared to break her. “Hi baby.” You say between two sobs, while your hand tapped gently on her back.

They clean her up with Joe helping, wrap her in a soft cloth and hand her to him. His huge hand supported her tiny head. He sniffed as tears began to fall again.

“Hey, baby girl.” He says between two sobs, “I’m your daddy.” You could see the realization hitting on his face as soon as he pronounced the word "Daddy".

He laughs quietly when he finally sees her open her eyes and when a small sound left her mouth for the first time, you see Joe’s eyes softening. “Yeah, I know baby.” He smiles, his fingers brushing her small hair.

Then he walks over to you, and lower down slightly just enough for you to reach your baby, while his thumb brush her cheek very gently, “And this is your mommy.” He says when you take her in your arms, “Your brave mommy.” He smiles.

You look up at him for a moment, and just smile. It was so new, just the three of you in a silent room.

“I’m so so proud of you, my love.” He said while reaching for you face, “You did so great.”

“I love you, Joe.”

“I love you.” He leaned down to press a kiss on your forehead.

Your lives were now changed forever. Your future was now full of happiness. And nothing felt complicated anymore. It was now the three of you against the world.

taglist : @baisangels @letherrunwild @xoxocelestial @unclejeezysblog @xceafh @corabrown19 @djomama123 @whispersoflost @us3r4682 @dragemballz

let me know if you wanna get added to the taglist !!

oohlillie

⟶ 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑

𝘑𝘰𝘦 𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

WORD COUNT : 3.5K

Summary : A bad news ruins all your hope to build a family one day. But I guess, miracles can happen ?

Warnings : infertility; lots of crying; reader feeling guilty; angst ?; reader’s insecure; mention of sex; FLUFF; hurt/comfort; no use of y/n; (tell me if i missed some !!); possible grammatical errors

Lillie talks : Joe saying that he wants a family really inspired me for this one !! This is the longest fic i’ve ever wrote but I loved writing it so much and I apologise if i hurt one of you with this ! 💕

English is NOT my first language, sorry if i wrote wrong !! c:

When your gynecologist first told you that you were infertile your entire world fell apart. It was like everything you’d done in these past years would be for nothing. Your husband, Joe, and you worked hard every day just in the hope to start a family one day, just to be sure that you’ll always be financially stable for your kids to grow up healthy. This was all you cared about in your life, your only goal.

You’ll always remember that day, you were sitting in the doctor’s office, your legs were trembling lightly, because somehow you’re always stressed during a medical appointment and imagine the worst things that could happen in your head.

When the doctor entered the office with few papers in her hand, she had that same neutral expression she always wore, a professional one. But this time it felt different and you immediately felt it when she closed the door. The way her smile was slightly different from the usual. She sat down on her chair, swallowing hard and licking her lips before speaking.

“So,” she took a deep breath, “I don’t see anything different from the last few times we saw each other, and-”

You immediately cut her off because you didn’t really cared about what she had to say, you knew you were healthy and had no problem with your body. “Can we skip directly to what’s wrong ?” You said when your legs started to tremble a little more.

She paused and looked at you for a moment, not really sure how she was supposed to tell you this ‘cause she knew. She knew about your dream to become a mother one day and it broke her heart to announce you that, because you looked so excited about becoming one. So she took another deep breath and swallowed again.

“You’re infertile.” Simple, yet completely gut wrenching. At this moment you felt something in your chest, something really hurtful, something you’d never experienced before. It was like your literal heart had fallen to the floor and you weren’t sure if you were strong enough to pick it up back.

You couldn’t even remember what she said next, you simply looked right into her eyes, nodded slowly and replayed her words a thousand times in your head, while she kept talking and explaining things you didn’t care about. Because this one word was enough for you and you couldn’t hear more.

What were you supposed to tell Joe ? He was so excited about the idea of you two becoming a real family. You’d planned everything, their names, what you wanted them to look like, you told Joe that you wanted a little girl with his eyes and hair, and he told you that he didn’t care about the gender as long as they look just like you. The two kids you’d imagined were now just a forbidden dream.

“There’s still small chances for you to be pregnant, but it’s very rare.”

Small chances. Those two words gave you a little hope that maybe you’ll be part of those rare person who are able to have kids even with their disease. But still, small tears peaked at the corner of your eyes, what if you’re not part of these rare person, what if you really won’t be able to realize Joe’s dreams.

When you reached your car the salty tears finally fell down your cheeks. You sat inside of it for almost 30 minutes, hands firm on the steering wheel while hundreds of tears flowed down your face. You kept thinking about Joe, about your future. About the ugly drawings that could have been stuck to the refrigerator, the little shoes in front of the house next to Joe’s big one, or the late-night feedings. Your medical folder sat on the passenger seat, you glanced toward it for a moment causing a small sob to leave your mouth.

Outside your car, people continued living, a mother pushing a stroller passed by. She looked happy, she smiled to her baby. A small laugh that contained no humour escaped your lips before you cried harder again. Guilt settled inside you like a stone, because it was your fault, it was your body’s fault. And because of you Joe won’t be able to have the kids he dreamt about so many times, you suddenly took away the future he wanted and deserved.

After thinking about it for a long moment you finally started the engine and started driving back to your shared apartment. The drive was long, very long. You tried to stay focused on the road even with your blurry vision.

When you finally arrived home, your eyes burned from crying. The second you stepped out of the car your heartbeat fastened. You tried to find a way to announce him that but couldn’t find one. You tried to hide the fact that you were crying, but your eyes were red, your cheeks too and so was your nose, and you kept sniffing.

In the elevator you felt like your heart was going to explode. Your cheeks were full of dried tears. When the elevator reached your floor you stepped out and glanced at the door for a minute before finally deciding to go. You exhaled slowly before opening.

“Hey baby,” Joe said with a huge smile, already up from the couch, “how’s the appointment ?”

You slowly closed the door, swallowing hard before turning around to finally face him. His expression immediately shifted into concern the second he saw your red eyes. You felt the tears coming back.

“Hey, hey, what happened ?” He asked quietly, stepping forward while you tossed your purse aside. His arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you against him. When your face was finally resting against his chest, you let out a breath you didn’t knew you were holding and started crying again.

Joe looked down at you, confused, then lift your chin to make you look at him.

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered between two sobs.

“For what ?” He asked still confused. His hand was now resting on your cheek, thumb brushing the tears away.

You sniffed quickly, “I’m infertile.” you said quietly, watching his expression shift. His hand moved to your hair as he exhaled slowly, pressed your head against his chest before leaning down to kiss on top of your head and inhale the scent of your hair.

“It’s okay,” He mumbled into your scalp, “there’s other ways to do it.”

“I’m so sorry, Joe.” You repeated in another sob.

“You don’t have to be, it’s not your fault..” He said quietly, closing his eyes and stroking your hair with his hand while tears still ran down your cheeks.

When you pulled back he took your hands in his and searched for your blurry eyes. “I know how much you wanted this.. and I just ruined everything.” You said, your voice cracking at almost every word before breaking again. He shook his head slowly, his hands moving to cup your face gently. “I can’t give you the family you wanted.” Your lips trembled.

“You are my family.” Joe said quietly, lifting your head up to make you look at him.

You began crying harder when he pulled you back against his chest, and you fell apart once again. Your hands clutched his shirt while his arms wrapped tightly around you. You could hear how fast his heart was beating.

“It’s gonna be hard,” he started, resting his cheek on your head, “really hard.. but someday we’ll figure out what comes next.”

“What if there’s nothing next ?” You sniffed.

“Then we’ll still have each other.”

You knew Joe was heartbroken but he didn’t show it, maybe it was a way to make you understand that this wasn’t your fault, and that things like that happens in life.

Because this is the whole point, life isn’t always full of highs, in fact, it mostly has lows. And those highs are what matter most. It could be moments you’ll never forget about or some good news you’ve been waiting for so long, but it always will be something that brings a smile to your face no matter the situation. Joe was your high.

Later that night, you sat in silence around the table. You barely ate the dinner Joe made, even though his cooking is your favorite. Sometimes you glanced at him. His eyes were focused on his plate, moving his fork between his food while he swallowed the ones he had in his mouth. He was thinking, about your future and the multiples ways you could have children. He glanced up at you when he felt you staring, your eyes quickly looked back down at your plate. Suddenly he reached for you hand across the table, squeezing it gently and drawing circles with his thumb. It was reassuring.

When you did the dishes after eating, you silently broke again. Tears fell down your cheeks again and you swallowed hard. You felt Joe’s hands sliding around your waist and hugging you tight against him. He left small open-mouthed kisses on your neck.

When you got comfortable in your bed, you couldn’t fall asleep. You kept thinking about it, replaying the words of your gynecologist a million times in your head. Small tears still fell down your cheeks and lend on your pillow. Joe on the other hand was sleeping very deeply.

For a whole hour you stared at the same dark spot in your room. “You' not sleepin' ?” Joe asked quietly turning around to wrap his arms around you.

“I can’t.” You whispered.

“You need to.” His face was buried in your neck.

“I know.”

You don’t remember at what point you fell asleep.

—

The first month after the big news felt unreal. You were still proceeding the thing. You were grieving a dream that could never happen. Some days, you would wake up in the morning and forget. You’d stretched under your blanket and think about your day, before it would came back to your mind. You couldn’t walk through the baby aisle in the grocery store anymore. All those items staring at you like they were judging. One afternoon you found yourself staring at a display of baby clothes. Without realizing tears began rolling down your face. You were mourning someone that never even existed.

Joe only cried once in front of you. The day after telling him you found him sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand, in the middle of the night, as tears fell down his cheeks. You watched him wipe his eyes before taking a deep breath. When he turned his face and saw you, he forced a smile, sniffing. You approached him slowly and sat beside him. Your hand caressed his back before he reached for you and pulled you against him. He quietly fell apart in your arms, face buried in your neck. You watched him cry in your arms for a moment, before crying another time with him.

On the second month you somehow started to convince yourself that Joe deserved someone else, someone that could give him a child. He wasn’t the problem, you were. Joe could have babies, you couldn’t. One night you lay awake watching him sleep. His face looked peaceful when sleeping. You imagined what your kids could’ve looked like. You wondered if they would’ve looked just as peaceful as him while sleeping.

Eventually, you started pulling away from him. Not because you loved him less but because you loved him too much that you felt guilty. You stopped initiating kisses, stopped reaching for his hand and pulled away quickly when he hugged you. You thought you were protecting him from becoming more attached to someone who has ruined his dreams. Joe noticed, of course he did.

“Have I done something wrong ?” He asked one evening.

“No.” You looked down at your plate.

“You won’t let me touch you anymore.”

Your eyes burned, “I just..”

“You just what ?”

You took a deep breath before looking up at him, “You deserve better.” You finally admitted quietly.

The silence afterwards hurt more than anything, he looked at you like you’d spoken a language he’d never heard before. He shook his head, brows furrowed, “I don’t understand.”

You swallowed, “You deserve a wife who can give you children.”

His chair scrapped loudly across the floor as he stood, “I never asked you to give me children.”

“But you wanted them.” Your voice cracked.

“Yes.” He reached for your hand, “Yes I did.” He kneeled down beside you. “But I married you for the better and the worst. And this is the worst.” his voice cracked slightly, “But you know that it always was the better before this.” He took a deep breath, tears began falling down your face for the hundredth times, “What I’m trying to say is that we lived with it for years, and just knowing it can’t change everything between us. I don’t deserve another woman just because you’re not able to carry my child, just because we’re not able to accomplish one of our dream.”

He took your second hand in his, thumbs brushing your knuckles slowly, “You know some dreams are harder to achieve than others and that’s the whole point of life. Work hard for something you really want.” You watched him carefully, listening to everything he said. “I love you. I love you so much i’m ready to give away some of my dreams just to be with you.” A small smile appeared through your tears.

He reached up for you, crashing his lips on yours. It felt like he was kissing you for the first time ever. You smiled through the kiss as one his hand stroked your hair slowly. That night, after two month, you finally had sex with Joe again, and when you both came at the same time, you cried. You cried and smiled and kissed. He held you close all night, whispering sweet nothings as you slowly fell asleep in his arms. It was the first time in these two months that you really slept.

By the third month, you’ve finally started to accept it. Not completely, but enough for your life to feel like before. You laughed more, slept more and spent less time thinking about it. You rarely talked about it with Joe, instead you talked about work, about his next tour he couldn’t wait for to arrive, about the exciting news your boss told you. Your relationship now felt exactly the same as the very beginning of it, the conversation you had brought you closer. You had date nights at some fancy restaurants, you watched a lot of movies together. You did exactly what a husband and a wife should be doing.

By the starting of the fourth month, a huge fever kept you in bed for a week. Your head hurts, you coughed, you were exhausted and you had that pain in your stomach that not even pain meds could erase. Joe was worried, he made his best to take care of you. He came back home from the studio earlier just to make you dinner and help you get into the shower. Sometimes when you were too tired he even washed your back and hair. He cleaned the house, cleaned your clothes. He moved the appointment he had this weekend just to stay home with you.

“You should see a doctor.” He told you on Saturday night while laying in bed behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist.

You coughed quietly, “Yeah I should.”

“You want me to come with you.”

You smiled through your pain, “No, you don’t have to.”

“Okay.” He whispered into your ear.

On Monday you decided to listen to Joe, and go see a doctor. You were at the medical center around 9 a.m., you waited for about 20 minutes in the waiting room. When the doctor called your name, you stood up difficultly. In fact, a new pain had joined the other, a back pain that hit every time you stood up. The doctor examined you like always, usual things he did every time you came here. But this time he couldn’t really determined what you had, he hesitated between the flu, a cold, maybe bronchitis ? He didn’t knew. So he booked you an appointment for a blood test for this afternoon. He said that it was gonna help you know what you actually had.

So around 3 p.m. you got to the hospital, and waited for your turn again. The nurse called you and guided you to a quiet room, before starting to prepare the syringe. And after she’d punctured you she directly sent your blood to the laboratory. You waited for almost an hour, in the same room, for the results. When the nurse walked back in, she was smiling.

“I don’t see anything really wrong, you probably got the flu and maybe a little cold with that.” She stated with a little smile, you simply nodded. “But there’s nothing really severe that could put your baby in danger.”

Your face completely dropped, the polite smile you had on your face disappeared instantly, “What ?” You said barely above a whisper.

Her smile also faded slightly, “Oh. You didn’t knew ?” You shook your head slowly, your heart was beating so fast you were sure she could hear it, “Well, congratulations.” She said, her smile growing back.

You weren’t quite smiling yet, because you were scared. What if it didn’t last ? What if this ended before it truly began ? But your excitement took over you quickly and your vision started to get blurry. But this time not from sadness but happiness.

When you reached your car, you sat inside for a moment, replaying her words a thousand times in your head. Four months ago you were in this same parking lot, in your car, crying because someone had just ruined your dreams in one word, and today you were crying because an other person just revived it with one word too. You even pinched yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming. You breathed in deeply before starting the engine to quickly go back home, eager to tell Joe.

You could already see him taking you in his arms and crying when he’ll realise that his dream is becoming true. But when you opened the door of your apartment, he wasn’t there, he’d left earlier this afternoon to go to the studio and you had no idea when he was going to be home.

You quickly got the idea to take a pregnancy test, just to make sure that this was real and that you weren’t imagining it. And when the result finally appeared, you cried again at the sight of that single word on a plastic thing : pregnant. You held it with a trembling hand, tears falling down your cheeks again, You jumped in the entire apartment and screamed.

You should’ve probably guessed it because of your menstruation. But you didn’t even realise that your period were late, your cycle had become unpredictable after all the stress the situation gave you. You couldn’t care less now, you had a baby growing in you. Your child, Joe’s child. Your dream, Joe’s dream.

You didn’t stopped crying for the rest of the afternoon. You watched tiktoks of babies, you searched up for baby’s clothes, already imagining it in your arms. You were still worried, actually more than ever, but you couldn’t help and imagined your future already.

When Joe walked through the door, he found you sitting on the couch, eyes swollen from crying. Worry immediately washed over his face as he crossed the room in few quick steps, he reached for you, taking your face in both his hands. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong ?”

You smiled through your tears that began to fall again as soon as you heard his keys. You couldn’t talk, you just handed him the test. He took it carefully, looked at it, then looked at you, then back at it. He stared for so long that you could see the realisation taking over his face.

“Is this.. or am I dreaming.” You slowly nodded, laughing quietly. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. He was slowly processing it.

Your smile faded slowly when you didn’t saw him smile, “I’m worried too.” He glanced up at you, “I’m scared that i’ll loose the baby.”

He slowly nodded, finally sitting beside you. He took your hands in his, “I’m pretty sure that you’ll be good.. and that our baby,” he stopped and smiled, “will be good.” He finally wrapped his arms around you, pulling flush against him. “I love you, baby.” He whispered in your hair.

“I love you too, Joe.” You said quietly.

This night it was just you, Joe and your baby. Maybe tomorrow everything will change again, maybe it’ll happen in a month or two or six, but for tonight, you were pregnant. You carried your dream and that was all that matter. Maybe miracles can actually happens.

Hope you enjoyed girlies !! Let me know what you think 💕

Read more of my work here : masterlist.

My inbox’s always open for anything and everything !!

oohlillie

⟶ “𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦”

𝘑𝘰𝘦 𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

WORD COUNT : 2K

Summary : After a year of dating Joe, peace doesn’t exist anymore when you decide to finally hard launch in public.

Warnings : hurt/comfort; crying; insecurities; slight mention of sex; angst; praise; no mention of y/n; let me know if i missed something, not proofread

Lillie talks : I ended up crying while writing this.. this is a very sensitive topic for me but i need to write about it. 🙏🏼 Also, let’s not talk about the random username i put and how corny this is thanks. Enjoy girliesss !! 💕 Read more of my work here : masterlist. Request are always open, feel free to ask anything !

English is NOT my first language, sorry if i wrote wrong !! c:

When the first comments about your body popped out, you didn’t really think of it. You knew people on social media were rude and always found a way to criticize something. Especially when your the "new" girlfriend of an uprising star that everybody has a crush on.

Few days earlier you’d gone on a walk around the city, your hand holding onto Joe’s arm. You ate at a little cafe you noticed last time that gave off a sweet scent outside, Joe bought you a bouquet of your favorite flower when you passed by a cute little florist. You truly had a great time, even if you knew that people were watching.

It was so obvious, yet so uncomfortable. One of the internet’s boyfriend was now dating a random girl ? Of course it’s gonna drew attention. You knew it when you started dating Joe, that one day people would just go through your privacy and judge every single one of your moves.

But you committed to the relationship. You loved him so much already, that just crazy fans couldn’t stop you from being happy with him.

Joe managed to keep your relationship secret for an entire year. Even before you started dating, he always found quiet spots for your dates, it’s always better to learn about each other when there’s nobody disturbing you by taking some pictures.

But you had enough of it. You wanted to be able to go out with him without being scared of people’s gaze. You wanted to do normal things couples do, like going to the restaurant or the cinema.

“We should go eat at that cafe i told you about.” You said one day.

Joe lift his gaze to you and stopped for a second. But you didn’t let him talk, “I know what you’re gonna say but I don’t care. We should do things like normal people and not be afraid to go out.”

He grinned softly, “Okay.”

It only took few hours for deuxmoi to post the picture of you two walking around the city, with the caption : "Joe Keery spotted holding hands with mystery girl in NYC" and within minutes a thousand comments were already posted. There were the kind ones where people would say that your pretty or that Joe looks so much happier now.

And then there was these other people that were probably jealous, because they literally had no reason to hate on you like that.

djofan : so he stayed single all this time just to date HER ? 🤡

joekeeryswife : umh.. who allowed her to touch my man like that ?? 🙄

misskeery67 : wtf joe ?? she’s so ugly 😭

You didn’t said anything at first, you knew they were some teenage girls fangirling over him just because of stranger things or because he was hot. Every true fan would love to see him happy with the woman he loves, no ?

You quietly laughed to the stupid comments when Joe entered the room and laid down beside you.

“What are you doing ?”

“Just- reading the stupid comments under our first paparazzi picture.” You said laughing quietly.

Joe gently tossed your phone away and pulled you against him before falling asleep quickly in your arms. He didn’t like what people could say on the internet, which is comprehensible.

The next day Joe was gone for the entire day, leaving you alone in his apartment. As soon as he left, you switched to his side of the bed, inhaling his scent and the hot sheets from his previous presence. When you finally decided to wake up, you put on one of his shirt and got to the kitchen to make breakfast. The rest of the day was nothing interesting.

But around 6 p.m., curiosity took over you as you quickly grabbed your phone to read more comments. There were now few tiktoks about it, tweets on twitter and some instagram post. You read every single comment.

joesegg : she’s mid i expected someone prettier

ilovejoekeery : they look sooo cute together !!

djokeery29 : ew wth is that 🤨 she looks fat

myhusbandjoe : her hair looks a mess, joe should give her some advice

You took a deep breath before closing the apps when you heard Joe’s keys in the door. He entered the apartment with a big smile and some take out, before crossing the room in three steps to take you in his arms.

You ate together while half-watching a movie, he was way too busy with talking about the new ideas he got with the guys to even care about the film. After you were done, you obviously went to bed. Joe kissed you deeply like he did every night and held you tightly against his chest.

But somehow, small things lingered in your brain. You thought about all these comments that you’d read. You glanced toward Joe, he was already sleeping like a rock. You smiled and told yourself that people shouldn’t have a word on your own relationship.

The next day got worst. Joe was still sleeping when you woke up, and you immediately took your phone to see the new comments that appeared through the night. You couldn’t help it.

Joe stirred slowly beside you, “Hey, baby.” He said quietly, voice deep, as he wrapped his arms around your waist. When he glanced over your shoulder and saw your screen he exhaled loudly, “Still reading those ? Seriously ?”

“What’s the problem ?”

“People are just saying stupid things you shouldn’t be reading this.”

“But I wanna know what people think about me.” You suddenly turned around to him.

“I don’t care what people think about you,” he said quietly again, closing his eyes for a second, “please, baby, put your phone down and come back in my arms.” You just listened and put your phone away before hurrying against his chest.

For the rest of they day, you noticed that Joe glanced toward your phone every time you used it, just to make sure that you weren’t reading anything again. So you held back all day and didn’t read one comment.

But when the sun was fully set and Joe was asleep on the couch, you reached for your phone and opened social medias another time.

This time everything felt meaner.

gaptoothsmile : damn joe you could’ve gotten better

unclejeezy : he deserve so much better than just whatever this is

joeeekk : oh so he doesn’t love small boobs anymore ? and skinny girls also apparently

You quietly got up to go to the bathroom and stopped in front of the mirror, glancing at your body once before reading more comments.

twenty20 : maika looked soooo much better

djo_keery29 : how can he even fuck her ?? i mean please look at her

There was hundreds of other comments likes these ones, but you weren’t sure if you were strong enough to read these anymore. You hardly swallowed, setting your phone down. Then you looked back up, at you, at your reflection and your body.

What if they were right ? What if Joe deserved better ? What if he deserved a skinny woman with small boobs like all his exes ? What if.

A tear ran down your cheek as you stared at yourself for few minutes, then another one, and then a hundreds others. You silently broke down in his bathroom. You had this sensation in your chest that you never felt before. Because before, nobody ever said something about your body.

Those stupid comments weren’t that stupid anymore. In only three days, they changed your entire perception of yourself. You never imagined that simple words could change everything.

The next days were hard. Because the idea of Joe deserving someone else had settled in your mind, you managed to convince yourself that this was true. So you eventually pulled away slightly. You got back to your apartment after weeks of living inside his, you stopped calling him every hours just because you missed his voice.

Every comment replayed in your head. Not skinny enough, not pretty enough, he deserves better. People started making compilations about little details of your body. Zooming in and circling your stomach, your jaw, your thighs, the way your jeans fit or your shirt, the way you smile.

You often found yourself in front of the mirror with your shirt lifted up, as you cried checking every inch of your body. You wanted to feel good in your body, you needed to.

Joe

Dinner at mine tonight ?

He texted you after a week and you answered yes. Because he was still your boyfriend even if you truly thought that he deserved so much more.

You didn’t make much of an effort dressing for tonight, usually you would put on Joe’s favorite dress, do your hair and makeup like he loved. But today you told yourself that this wasn’t obligated.

When you arrived at his place, he opened the door with a big smile before wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You didn’t leaned into the hug though, you just took a deep breath.

You didn’t say anything for the entire dinner. You sat across Joe, he was talking about so many things at the same time. Some things he was happy about, good news, new ideas he got, the new song he wrote. You just stared and listen, smiling when you had to and pushed your food around in the plate without really eating it.

After a moment Joe put down his fork and looked at you, “What’s wrong ?”

You glanced toward him, “Nothing-” You said quietly but Joe interrupted.

“No. Don’t say nothing when I know there’s something.” He shook his head slowly, “What’s wrong ?”

You lowered your gaze again, “I’m just tired.” Forcing a small smile that didn’t reached your eyes.

He exhaled loudly, “No you’re not.” You looked back up, “You barely called me this week.” He started, “And when you did, you didn’t say a single word about your life in general like you usually do.”

Your stomach tightened, “So I’m asking you again, what’s wrong ?” He wasn’t angry, just worried. His voice was soft and quiet.

You swallowed hard, “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid if it’s affecting you so much.”

You slowly exhaled, a painful gulp forming in your throat, “You deserve someone prettier.” Your voice cracked before you could stop it.

He looked genuinely confused as his brows furrowed, “What do you mean ?”

“I’m not really skinny,” You wrapped your arms around yourself, “I don’t look so good..” Tears burned unexpectedly.

Joe quickly stood up and crossed the room slowly, before reaching for your hands and kneeling in front of you, “You know what I see when I look at you.” Your eyes stayed on the floor, “I see the women I fell in love with because she is so much more than just beautiful.”

You finally looked up at him, tears still ran down your cheeks. Joe reached to wipe away the tears with his thumbs.

“You’re the kindest person i’ve ever met.” You smiled softly, “The funniest. And the prettiest.”

“But it’s not what everybody see.”

“We don’t care about what other peoples see or don’t. It’s about what you see.”

Your throat tightened because you didn’t knew what you saw anymore.

“Do you have any ideas how heartbreaking it’s been watching you slowly disappear from my life ?” You shook your head. “I kept wondering what I did wrong.”

He took a deep breath, “Someone else should’ve not convince the woman I love that she wasn’t enough.” You nodded slowly, another tears rolling down your face.

He kissed your forehead, then your nose, your cheek and the corner of your mouth.

“You really think that I’m beautiful ?” You quietly asked making him laugh softly.

“You’re so perfect, baby, you don’t even realize it.”

You laughed through a sob. “Nobody’s perfect.”

“Then you’re nobody.”

You really smiled this time and wrapped your arms around him before burring your face in his neck. “I just don’t know how to stop hearing them.”

“You don’t have to stop today,” his fingers brushed your back, “you just have to let my voice be louder.”

People kept talking, the comments kept coming. But you somehow started realizing that Joe was the only person making you feel good in your body. So many people can say anything about you, but the only important things will be the ones coming from the mouth of the one you love.

oohlillie

⟼ ⊹ 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 ? ⊹

𝘑𝘰𝘦 𝘒𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

WORD COUNT : 1.3K

Summary : Joe is overwhelmed by his job and sometimes forget about you… or maybe he doesn’t ?

Lillie talks : Okayyy I got inspired doing this.

Warnings : angst; fluff at the end; cursing 1 time; no use of y/n; advanced relationship; possible grammatical errors

English is NOT my first language, sorry if i wrote wrong !! c: Request are open

The apartment always felt bigger when Joe was gone.

Not in a comforting way. The bed felt too wide and the sheets cold. The kitchen was always clean, because he wasn’t here to make a mess while cooking.

You hated how you got used to it quickly. Like his absence wasn’t affecting you anymore because you now had learned to live without him.

Always away for a new movie, a new show, a new tour, a new interview, a new something.. And almost every time he came back home, he was late.

I’ll be home in 30. Love you.

He texted.. and then he’d be home 2 hours later. You always reassured yourself, it must’ve been the fans at the airport or the traffic..

The key turned in the lock right after midnight and the door opened slowly, followed by the sound of a rolling suitcase.

“Baby ?” Joe called gently.

You were sitting on the couch in the living room, barely watching something on the TV, your mind too busy. You didn’t even answered him.

He finally stepped into the living room. “Hey.” He said, his smile growing at the sight of you.

“You’re late.” You said harsher than intended.

He let out a tired breath. “I know, i’m sorry. The airport was.. chaos.”

“Of course it was.” You let out a quiet, bitter laugh, brows frown. You turned around to look at him. He looked exhausted. Hoodie half zipped up, little dark circle under his eyes, hair messy from the trip. He still looked handsome, like always. Still the same person that made your heart ache by just standing there.

He let out a loud breath, his shoulders dropping slowly. “So that’s how tonight’s gonna be ?”

“You tell me. You’re the one who appears for a few hours every couple weeks.”

He flinched. “Can i least hug you first ?”

You let out another breath. “No.” You shook your head, like it’s obvious. The answer came too quickly.

He nodded once only. Bitting his inner lips. He makes his way to the fridge to grab some water, in the connected kitchen.

“When are you leaving, again ?” These words hang in the air, he froze.

He cleared his throat. “Tomorrow morning..” He said quietly.

You laughed once, short and bitter. Before turning back to the TV.

“What ?”

“Where am i in your life ? Where do i fit in ?”

“What do you mean ? You’re in all of it.”

“No, Joe. I’m not and you know it.” You said quieter than expected.

“I have a lot to do.”

You shrug your brows, before turning off the TV and getting up.

He quickly grabbed your wrist, keeping you from leaving the room, “Hey, hey. I’m trying my best, okay ?”

“No, you’re not.”

He let go off your hand. “That’s unfair.”

“No, no it’s not.” You replied harshly. “You don’t get to decide what feels fair to me.”

“And you don’t care to act like I don’t care because i’m busy.” His brows frowned.

“Busy ?” Anger rising. “You miss birthdays. You cancel plans. You forget about dinner we planned weeks ago.” You said counting on your finger.

“That’s.. bullshit.”

“It is ? ‘Cause everyone seems to get a piece of you, except me.” You took a step forward.

He laughed. “You think this is easy for me ?”

You just shrugged your shoulders. Anger growing, tears coming up your eyes. He dragged both hands down his face, taking a deep breath.

“Why are you never choosing me before work.”

“’Cause i just can’t say no to everything.”

“I didn’t say everything.”

He let out a breath. “You’re a part of my life.”

“I don’t feel like it..” Your voice cracked slightly, and a tear fall from your eye.

Usually, his heart would break at the sight of you crying. Especially when it’s because of him. But anger took place.

“Maybe nothing I do is enough for you.”

Your expression shifted, your eyes widened. “Excuse me ?” You quickly brushed the tear from your eye out.

“I’m serious. All you see is what I didn’t do.”

“Maybe because what you didn’t do is being here.”

“I’m here now.” He said louder and stepped closer.

“For one night. Like always. Do you realize that it’s a relationship ?”

The words hits hard. He stayed still. Breathing heavily. Eyes full with frustration.

“Maybe not.”

“What ?” You blinked.

“Maybe we’re not made for each other. Our lives don’t stick together.”

Everything in the apartment seemed to stop. Because you never thought of that before. Of course this relationship was hard, but you loved him, more than anything. It was unbelievable.

He swallowed. His stupid pride keeping him from taking his own words back.

“Maybe…” His voice came out rough. “Maybe if all we do is hurt each other now, maybe this isn’t working.”

Your face went pale. Your anger completely disappeared and got replaced by pure sadness. The tears coming back in your eyes quickly.

You were too afraid to talk. Too afraid to say something that might break everything you’re already loosing. Every single memories played back in your head. The first time you met. The first time you kissed. The first ‘I love you’. And maybe, after rethinking it a few times, maybe he was right.

You straightened your shoulders. “Maybe you’re right..” You finally admitted quietly.

“No.” He shook his head, stepping forwards. “No, don’t do that.”

“You’re the one who’s doing it, Joe.” Your voice broke quietly. Trying to keep your tears in your eyes. You looked away.

He stepped closer. Bodies only inches from each other’s now. The anger in his voice was completely gone.

“I didn’t mean it.”

“Then why did you say it ?” You finally looked at him.

“Because I- I feel like I’m failing you every time I walk through that door.” He said pointing the front door of your shared apartment.

You froze.

“I’m tired of leaving. I hate airports. I hate hotel rooms. I hate everything.”

Your tears finally escaped from your eyes. But he didn’t stop. His voice cracked.

“I hate that I’m building this huge life and the person I want in it the most thinks I forgot her.”

“I don’t think you forgot me..” You said almost whispering. “I- huh- I think.. i miss you so much-” You cover your mouth to steady yourself. “-that I don’t know where to put it in anymore.”

His eyes softened, his hand reaching for your arm.

“I’m angry because I love you. I’m angry because every time you leave, it feels like I have to learn how to be alone all over again.”

His hand finally found your head, and cupped it so gently. His thumbs brushing the falling tears from your eyes.

“I love you. So fucking much, you can’t even imagine.” He said quietly.

You closed your eyes. Listening to everything he said.

“I know i’m messing it up. I know I keep expecting us to survive, only with FaceTimes and apologies. But I don’t want a life where you’re not in it.”

“You won’t lose me.” You whispered. “But you can’t keep leaving everything broken every time you go… I need efforts, and honesty.”

“You’ll have it. You’ll have everything you want, I promise. You matter before everything.”

You finally broke. Crying into his chest as he held you close, arms wrapped around you.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” He mumbled into your hair. Giving you slight little kisses on top of your head.

“I’m sorry too.” You whispered.

You stayed there for a long time. Holding each other close, like you’re both afraid of what will happen if you let go.

“I can move all the things I have to do tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”

You gave him a slight smile.

And after a moment, sat on the kitchen floor, eating something random, you finally talked. Not fought this time, really talked. Legs crossed with each other’s.

Joe sometimes leaned close to kiss your forehead.

And the next morning, when his alarm rang at 6 for the airport. He silenced it. Keeping you warm in his arms, breathing your scent.

When he leaves few days later, he promised he would come back. And for the first time in months. You finally believed it.

Heyyy girlsss, hope you enjoyed it !! I don’t know if i really like it, but here it is ! 💕

oohlillie

⟶ “𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑚𝑒 !”

𝘥𝘢𝘥!𝘫𝘰𝘦 𝘹 𝘮𝘰𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Request : here

WORD COUNT : 1.3K

Summary : An exhausting day with your toddler get saved by your husband.

Warnings : FLUFF; angst; dad!joe; no mention of y/n; toddler is a girl; crying; let me know if i missed something, possible grammatical errors, proofread

Lillie talks : Thank you so much for this request ! 💕 Let’s ignore the fact that I’m terrible at summary’s.. Read more of my work here : masterlist. Request are always open, feel free to ask anything !

English is NOT my first language, sorry if i wrote wrong !! c:

You were standing in the middle of your living room, catching your breath after running after your two years old daughter that clearly didn’t wanted to go to bed. And running with a 7 months-pregnant belly wasn’t the best thing to do. For the past hour, you’d negotiated the bath to your toddler for forty minutes, washing her took the other twenty, and when you told her that is was time for bed, you only got the time to put on her a diaper before she started sprinting down the hallway, giggling hysterically.

“Sweetheart…” you sighed, one hand supporting your lower back, “Come here, baby.”

“No !” She giggled before disappearing into another room. You closed your eyes and exhaled slowly.

This day has been tiring and it wasn’t done yet. It started with your child crying because her banana broke in half and fell on the floor. Then because you gave her the green cup instead of the pink one. She’d refused her nap because she was "not tired" and then cried because she was tired. She screamed into the fan because it was making her have a funny voice.

She wasn’t really the kind of child who does stupid things every time, who screams everyday, she was in fact the calmest toddler ever. But there was some day where she would completely loose her mind and forget all the rules. And with her moving around the entire day, you haven’t got the time to do all the choirs you had to do. The apartment looks a mess and you didn’t had any energy left to clean it up.

Joe had texted you an hour ago that he’ll be home soon, you really hoped that he would be home soon. You couldn’t handle it anymore. Your back ached, so were your hips, your feet were swollen and you had the cardio of an old lady. Chasing her around the house was an impossible thing to do.

Usually she would’ve already been into bed at this hour, probably already sleeping. Putting on her pajamas was the easiest thing to do for a big sleeper like her. But today wasn’t the day, she was still full of energy and sleeping wasn’t her priority anymore.

Tiny footsteps past you again, you quickly turned around, grabbing her by surprise. Finally having her in your arms. But surprisingly, she was strong and you, completely out of force. She fought between your arms and accidentally kicked your belly, making you loose your grip on her. Your arms instantly wrapped around yourself as you watched her disappear again with an other giggle.

“You didn’t catch me !” She laughed from the room next to you.

You grabbed the kitchen counter with one of your hand to steady yourself. Then your baby kicked in, probably a reaction from the sudden hit. You rubbed your belly softly and a short exhausted sound left your mouth as your eyes stung.

“No, no…” you told yourself, trying not to cry, “Don’t cry, it’s okay.” You took a deep breath and exhaled loudly before walking toward the room your daughter was in.

But as soon as she heard your footsteps coming down the hallway, she ran past you again with another burst of giggles. You looked after her helplessly.

“Honey.. please.” You felt tears threatening again.

You loved her more than anything, of course, and she wasn’t being bad she is just a baby still. But today had drained every ounce of patience you had. You pressed your lips together, trying so hard not to cry from overwhelming.

But then the front door unlocked, “Hey girls, I’m hom-” He started before stopping immediately when she ran in his legs, “Daddy !” she screamed while hiding behind his legs, still giggling.

But then his eyes found you. You were out of breath and about to cry, your hair were messy and your hand held your belly.

“I can’t..” you whispered, “She won’t let me dress her and I physically can’t do this anymore.” Your voice cracked on the last word. You quickly turned around and went to your room.

You sat on the edge of your bed as tears began falling down your cheeks. You could see Joe in the living room, he was kneeling in front of your daughter, holding her hands and rubbing them with his thumbs.

“Baby, you should listen to mommy.” He started quietly, “I know that you don’t want to go to bed right now, but mommy’s really tired today and it would be great if you listened to her.” She slowly nodded. “You promise you will go to bed ?”

“Yea…” She said quietly with a soft voice.

“Great.. Now go apologize to mommy.” He gently tapped her back.

Tiny footsteps erupted in your bedroom as she entered the room before stopping in front of you, “I’m sorry mama.” She said quietly before hurrying in your arms.

You wrapped your arms around her, resting your head on hers, “It’s okay, baby.” You said quietly between two small sobs.

When she pulled back, joe grabbed her arms, crouching next to her. “Now go to your room, i’m coming to sing you a song.” She nodded again before running to her room.

Joe finally glanced up at you and kneeled between your legs, both of his hands grabbing your hands. His thumb brushed your knuckles slowly.

“I look pathetic.” You said quietly with a small laugh.

“No you don’t, you’re just tired.” You grinned softly. “What do you think if I run you a bath ?”

You nodded, “Yeah that would be great.” your smile widened.

Joe smiled softly, before standing up and reaching for your face. Then he gently wiped your tears away and gave you a kiss in the forehead. “I’ll be right back.” He said quietly, giving you another kiss and disappearing in the hallway.

Like promised, Joe put your baby to sleep, sang her a song and read a small story. Then he ran you a hot bath. A few minutes later he came back into the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He found you exactly where he left you, but you weren’t crying anymore.

He didn’t say anything, he just sat beside you before taking your feet into his lap and starting to gently massage them. You inhaled deeply, closing your eyes as your head fell back.

“You need some rest.” Joe said quietly.

“Yeah. I know.” You opened your eyes and glanced toward him. He was looking at you like he always did, even after 6 years of relationship.

Tired tears fell down your cheeks again, you sniffed.

He gently set your feet back on the ground, before standing up, “Now come on, your bath’s ready.” He helped you stand up and guided you to the bathroom.

After taking off your clothes, you settled into the hot water before asking Joe to come with you. You made some space behind you for him to take. His arms instantly wrapped around you from behind and you leaned into his touch. The back of your head rested on his shoulder, your eyes closed while Joe massaged your back softly.

He gently kissed your temple, “You’re such an incredible mom.”

“But I cried because I couldn’t catch her.”

Joe shook his head, “You cried because you’d to take care of her for the entire day and you’re seven months pregnant.” He said quietly.

You began to cry again, quietly this time. You closed your eyes and leaned into Joe’s touch again.

“I’m gonna stay here tomorrow, so you can rest.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”

You smiled through the quiet tears. For the first time all day, you allowed yourself to simply lean against your husband and enjoy the hot water relaxing your body. You listened to the peaceful silence that came afterwards, and nothing else existed in the world anymore.

taglist : @baisangels @letherrunwild @xoxocelestial @unclejeezysblog @xceafh @whispersoflost @corabrown19 @djomama123

let me know if you wanna get added to the tag list !

qtxoxox

Suspicion

the chief’s daughter

summary: your dad begins questioning if your in a relationship

cw: fluff

w/c: 1.1k

qtxoxox

Miss untouchable

the chief’s daughter

summary: your dad is overly protective of you, so much that no boy ever wants a serious relationship. until steve harrington

cw: nothing just fluff

a/n: I love this trope idc sue me

w/c: 1.1k

qtxoxox

I’d happily die between them, babe

requested

summary: joe keery is a boob guy confirmed

cw: smut, all things boobs, piv (not very descriptive sorry i went blank) fluff, pet names

a/n: icl i always felt like joe was an ass guy but i may have just changed my own mind with this

wc: 1.4k

qtxoxox

Kitten

summary: after joe's kitten interview with buzzfeed, his view on owning a cat completely changes (to your absolute joy)

cw: pure fluff

wc: 700

qtxoxox

(not so) soft launch

no face claim for reader, I tried to keep it as ambiguous as possible

part 2 | part 3

Summary: a joe keery smau where popstar!reader and joe meet at a music event and when one thing leads to another, it gets too difficult to hide

Cw: lots of y/n use sorry not sorry, female reader

a/n: tumblr actually went down AS i was making this and i genuinely thought id broken the whole website. maybe i did, sorry for causing tumblr to shut down on the 11 of July. Anyway Im so proud of this i hope it’s just as loved by everyone and even if its not there are 2 more parts

qtxoxox

Gravitate to you

requested

summary: you struggle to sleep after an argument with steve. both too stubborn to apologise first, it’s natural instincts that help you make up

cw: crying, swearing, angst with a happy ending, sort of suggestive ending

wc: 1.2k

a/n: this is probably only my third angst ive ever written, i definitely want to write more and improve on it

saiki w a vitiligo!reader?

summary: saiki's gf has vitiligo

a/n: this is my first fic!! reader is white though it is not expressed in this fic, tell me if y'all like this (sorry its so short)

wc: 176

Bf!saiki deadpanned when you nervously told him that the spots on your back were in fact not marker, and instead, vitiligo

Bf!saiki who just said “why would i care” as if this wasn’t one of your biggest insecurities

Bf!saiki whom holds your hand, gently rubbing a thumb over your knuckles as you talk about how you’re considering using a cream to darken your spots

Bf!saiki who gently kisses up your spots when you come crying to him about some stupid boys teasing you

Bf!saiki who shrugs when you ask about why your bullies avoided you the whole day, instead of teasing you relentlessly; acting innocent knowing damn well what he did

Bf!saiki who just nodded when you told him you decided to leave your vitiligo as is

Bf!saiki who solemnly dressed up as a hunter while you dressed up as a deer for halloween, not admitting he did it just because he wanted to see you in that cute dress (and i suppose he lives for your smile too)

#saiki k #kusuo saiki #saiki k x reader #saiki k x you #saiki x you #fanfic #tumblr girls #fanfics #headcannons #headcannon #anime #kusuo x reader #y/n #saiki x y/n #saiki k x y/n

deathofapiano

nico's xtras; crazy? i was crazy once. they locked me in a room.

boyfriend!saiki x reader

notes: crazy? saiki was crazy once. they locked him in a room, a rubber room, with rats. the rats made him crazy.

today was more insufferable than usual to the psychic.

his powers were flaring up again; his mind reading pierced migraines into his skull, his fingertips throbbed with restrained power, his eyes ached behind his green glasses.

and not only that, he wasn't spared an ounce of sympathy or peace. why would he expect such?

his eyes may have been bagged with dark circles, but that doesn't stop his father from pestering him for favors.

nor does it stop teruhashi constantly demanding his attention. nor does it stop toritsuka squealing about perverted topics. nor does it stop the everything everywhere all at once going on around and inside the psychic.

it makes his pain even worse. today must be the worst day ever.

and no one even batted an eye to his rugged breathing, tired eyes, shaky hands, nothing.

that is until, while he's walking home in the rain with an umbrella slung over his shoulder, you call out to him.

"saiki!" you exclaim. he looks at you over his shoulder, expecting another pestering. his eyes droop with an expectant, disappointed emotion that he's been attacked with all day.

. . . "are you okay?!" you question, rain soaking your form but you don't seem to care, worry clouding your gaze and hands balled into fists.

what?

... is he okay? no. no. he's not okay.

the umbrella falls from his hands and clashes onto the concrete, causing you to flinch. rain soaks up his hair and glasses and shirt but he doesn't care.

he's running over to you in lightning speed, embracing you with the desperation of a madman as he presses his lips to yours with so much appreciation for that stupid question . . . and love, and hope, and whatever the hell was going on with him that day. god, how he loves you. he loves you so much.

the kiss tasted like rain and newfound okay-ness now that you're here with him.

this is so bad and i wrote this in 5 minutes but it's realy late and i am tweaking and this is so ooc but bro i don't CARE BRO okay. sorry guys. i will get to the stuff i need to do but literally am on a nakamura high right now where i can't think or do anything outside of nakahiro AND NOW MATSUNAKA BECAUSE I AM A NEWFOUND NAKAMURA MULTISHIPPER I LOVE U I LOVE U I LOVE U NAKAMURA AND I LOVE U I LOVE U I LOVE YOU NAKAMURA SHIPS i suck. i suck i'm so soryr guys i really need to be a better writter to u all im so bad with reqs i need to get to that i'm tweaking so bad

saiki k taglist (comment to be added!): @skeletaldino @puppysandrainbows @aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa444 @handwrittenscripts @cutepuppy1845 @loafsoobin2 @heyits-you @i-bitch-you-bitch @starrrforeverheart @iridoscopy @blurredkissesx @mjfr @dragemballz @mari-ana-grande @lovelyrosesxoxo @zzzrand @vamp1r3gurl

~ nico ♡

masterlist

adorabluesposts

hiiii! Could you do a Connor stoll x reader fic where the reader is like the cutest sunshine daughter of Apollo. they were dating and really happily together, but Connor gets sent on a solo quest, and like he doesn’t came back after 2 weeks so everyone assumes he is dead and the reader is devastated and so is the camp bc they thought they lost their trickster and the sunshine girl lost her spark, but he finally shows up with the quest completed and the reader jst like tackles him into a hug in front of everyone as soon as she sees him.

title: you came back (you always do, right?) pairing: connor stoll x apollo!reader warnings: implied death, grief, hurt/comfort note: this is absolutely adorable btw

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