every room becomes a mouth

🇨🇦 b-movie horror protagonist | outlaw romanticizer

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone

[shadowen]

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

[freenarnian]

You've heard of the man, the myth, the legend. Now get ready for the woman, the omen, the portent.

[thefriendlymurderer]

Jolene

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

[cozyhobbit07]

Matt and Alex hitting the stressed spider stance.

[kerosene-in-a-blender]

Is your Dungeons and Dragons character too happy? Are they too settled into their life and thusly require some kind of personal tragedy to motivate them to leave it and take up a life of adventuring? Try Primus Tachonis!

Primus Tachonis is an all-purpose personal tragedy creator sure to spur your character to adventure specifically so they can get his ass. Whether you need an old money asshole muscling in on an institution beloved to your PC or an evil sorcerer to slaughter their entire family Primus Tachonis has the magic and the social station to create whatever tragedy is required to serve your backstory.

Primus Tachonis is so versatile as a backstory tool he has professional D&D players raving:

Primus Tachonis killed my character's best friend and now she has to figure out who she is without him! -Laura Bailey I wrote a light backstory because I was still feeling out the setting and my dungeon master used Primus Tachonis to turn my brother into a statue! -Travis Willingham Primus Tachonis is trying to take over my character's magic school and endangering her students, and she will not have that! -Marisha Rey I had intended my character to have a tense but ultimately repairable relationship with his father, but then my DM used Primus Tachonis to rip his skull from his head. Now my character is on a quest to kill every member of Primus' noble house! -Matthew Mercer My character was a happy and established local playwright until Primus Tachonis had his little brother executed. Now he's taken up the sword again in his brother's stead! -Liam O'Brian I needed someone to murder my character's wife and daughter and my dungeon master suggested Primus Tachonis, and I couldn't be happier with the result! -Robbie Daymond Even works on members of his own family! -Alexander Ward

So don't miss out on the one-man solution to forcing your character to feel the call to adventure, try Primus Tachonis today!

[ellewidogast]

#order now and he'll devote himself to destroying the afterlife of your character's religion

[scribeherself]

I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and they’re already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that don’t have real words yet. it’s being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because you’re known. god. what a gift.

[csny]

[autisticjonathanjoestar]

bouncing on it in repentance

[autisticjonathanjoestar]

crying and begging for forgiveness on it

[storm-of-feathers]

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[worldsbeyondpod]

Here's the cast reacting to this milestone goal in real time!!!

As a token of our thanks, we'll be dropping an advance reader's preview of Chapter 1 of the graphic novel on Patreon tomorrow, June 18th!!!

This preview is not final and is subject to change. We hope you enjoy this advance peek at the graphic novel!

[searea]

[songsomi]

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[laterkiss]

everytime i want something i should be shot in the head

[tinwhistlings]

It’ll come, it’ll come.

[bound-by-the-devil]

Choking is great. But face grabbing? Gripping them by their jaw and squeezing until their mouth is forced open… The way their lips pout up… The feeling of the inside of their cheeks sliding over their teeth…. Look at me…