Summary: Peter Parker had thought he had finally found a decent balance in his life. He was living happily with May. He got to have lab days with Tony, have movie nights over at the compound, and he had his two best friends in the world to finish high school with. However, his life takes a turn when May suddenly develops a terrible disease that can't be cured, and she only has 2-3 weeks left to live. Soon left with no living relatives, Peter's left to pick up the pieces of the life he once knew with only his mentor to help him through it.
The question he's asking himself; now what?
The first thing Peter noticed when he had entered the room was the deathly chill that had settled over the place. It was strange to him as May usually turned on her heater before bed, but she must’ve just forgotten the previous night. He shivers, hugging his arms closer to his body, as he makes his way over to where May is laying on her bed. At first, he gently shakes her body to attempt to wake her up. There’s one problem with this though; her body is so stiff he can barely shake her. At first, he thinks she just must be conscious enough to make her body more immobile but as he continues to attempt to move her body in an attempt to rouse her it slowly dawns on him. He pauses, taking a step back from her body to process exactly what was happening. Everything wrong with the situation floods his head.
She shouldn’t look like this. She shouldn’t be so… stiff, so cold.
He stops for a second, turning away from her body to think the logistics of this through; after all, she should be fine. The doctors had said she had at least another week. She shouldn’t… she… Why was she like this?
She’s fine. She should be fine. Peter repeats the mantra in his head, attempting to calm himself down.
He steps forward, again attempting to shake her awake. This time he’s saying her name - whispering at first but gradually getting louder and louder. Soon he’s nearly shouting at her body, not even allowing himself to comprehend what’s happening. Distantly, he can hear Karen talking. She’s saying something about Mr. Stark and maybe the authorities, he can’t be sure. He knows that she must be alerting him about his heart rate. He can feel it himself. His heart feels like it’s almost beating out of his chest, and his breathing is getting faster and faster. But he doesn’t care about that right now. How could he, when May’s like this?
Finally, the logical part of his brain forces him to step back from her, sitting on the rough carpeted floor that he’d used to sit on when Ben would read him stories. He follows what Tony had told him once about staying calm in stressful situations. Putting his head between his knees, held one hand over his heart, and listened to his breathing. His watch starts vibrating and he attempts to breathe with the beats.
He shuts his eyes, clenching them shut as if that’d make the reality around him disappear. As if that’d make May better. He knows that he shouldn’t be acting like this. Not when May’s laying on her bed… not when she might be…
No. He can’t think like that. She’s- she’s gonna be fine. Mr. Stark was going to come with his team of doctors, maybe he’d bring Bruce, and he would fix her up. Tell him that it was just a light scare and that she was fine. In fact, the doctors had been wrong all along. May was going to be just fine. She’d be around for his graduation. For him to get into MIT. Maybe if he got married she’d be there for that too. All of the monumental life moments that he still had yet to live through, she would be there for.
Right?
Through the windows, he can hear the muffled sounds of sirens getting louder. He knew that Mr. Stark would be there any moment, to comfort him and make everything better. He’d forgotten all about controlling his breathing now and had laid completely on the floor now, curled into a fetal position on his side and his eyes still shut so he wouldn’t have to face reality. Besides the sirens and the buzzing of the AC, all he could hear was his sobs. The tears ran down his face and soaked the MIT sweatshirt that he had borrowed from Tony a week ago. A week ago when everything was better. When May wasn’t diagnosed with some god-awful sickness that he hadn’t even known existed till then. It was some obscure new disease that the doctor said had only been around for 5 years or so. While it only killed 25 people a year, it did so in a matter of weeks if you couldn’t recognize the signs fast enough.
That’s what had happened to May. Everything had seemed fine with her. Or at least, that was the facade she had kept up to convince him that nothing was wrong. The symptoms weren’t that visible physically. Sure, she had really terrible headaches every once and a while, but she’d hidden those from him. It had also gotten a bit harder for her to walk, something he had, in fact, noticed, but had attributed to the fact that she worked so many long hours at the hospital. He figured she was overworked and needed to take a break, something she ended up using as an excuse to quit her job, or as she had told him “take a vacation”.
When she finally had sat him down with Tony to explain what exactly was happening to her and that she probably only had three to four weeks to live, he’d just shut down.
Instead of saying how sorry he was and trying to comfort her, he locked up; his body forcing him to zone out. The room got more and more fuzzier as the tears rolled down his face and his breath quickened. He had felt so bad that she’d had to stop there and calm him down. A moment that should have been dedicated to May, wasted on him.
It was them when he’d promised himself to not waste any more time on himself while May was alive, no matter what. Tony had helped him learn how to calm down from panic attacks like the one he’d had that day, and the one he was having now. It was all useless now though. What was the point when May was gone?
Like a guardian angel, Tony busted through the door, taking in the sight of Peter sprawled out on the floor; May laying behind him. “Oh, bambino…” he muttered to himself before scooping Peter up off the floor. Had he had more strength, he would have fought Tony off. Instead, he just laid there in Tony’s arms, shaking from crying. Medics rushed in shortly after Peter arrived, most of them attending to May right away. One of them had stopped to confirm with Tony that Peter was physically okay for the time being, before allowing him to remove Peter from the house. It wouldn’t have mattered if they had given him permission or not though, Tony knew exactly what Peter needed, and at the moment it was removing him from the situation.
Despite Peter’s struggles of returning back to May, Tony managed to haul him out of the house and fly him back to the compound. His arms were wrapped around Peter the entire way, mumbling comforts to him. Peter had given up on fighting Tony as soon as he’d exited the house, immediately slumping against him, welcoming the comfort. The entire night had tired him out, even though he had nearly just woken up a few hours ago. Tony knew that, so he allowed Peter to fall asleep on his bed as soon as they’d landed.
Pepper had also been woken up when Friday had alerted Tony of Peter’s state, so she’d spent the half hour Tony had been gone to prepare Peter’s room for him and anything he might need, just in case he needed to be brought over there. Neither of them had known if Peter’s state had been just him freaking out or if something had happened to May, but they had both prepared for the worst.
While Peter slept, the two talked to each other, wondering aloud what was to happen now to Peter now that May was gone. Of course, her will had been settled long before she knew about her circumstance - after Peter started spending more time over at the compound and she realized how close the pair had grown, she’d made it so Tony and Pepper would have custody over Peter in the odd chance that anything happened. However, they both knew that it was going to be hard for Peter. They decided to figure it out when Peter woke up, and instead prepared for when that happened.
He ended up waking up three hours later, laying there and staring up at the ceiling until Friday alerted Tony. Peter knew that he was going to have to deal with reality at some point and gather his thoughts in-place. Until then he just sat there, not allowing his mind to focus on anything specific but the classical music playing quietly in the background.
When Tony walked in, Peter sat up and motioned for Tony to sit next to him. They sat in silence for a few moments, the brevity of the situation sinking in. Finally, Peter broke the silence. “Is she… is she really gone?”
Tony sighed, nodding regretfully to himself before answering. “Yeah, Bud. I’m sorry… You want to talk about it.”
Peter inhaled sharply. “Not right now. I don’t think my mind actually knows what’s happening. Probably a trauma response or something. I know Dr. Banner’s talked about things like that before.” He was rambling, and he knew it. Something he always used when he didn’t quite understand what was going on. “I just… how is she gone? Why?”
“Bud, sometimes these things happen. And, I know how much you loved her, but she’ll always be there for you. Even if it’s just in spirit.”
Peter nodded, not able to answer back, but instead burying himself in Tony’s arms. The two embraced each other, staying like that for a while. Peter was back to crying now. Peter concentrated on his breath, knowing that it would give himself something to focus on other than May. While she was the one person he should be focusing on right now, he didn’t think he could handle it.
Instead, he allowed himself to bury himself in Tony’s arms and just live in the moment. Sometimes, as Spiderman, he felt that he had to handle things all on his own. He was a superhero, so he should be able to do things like that. It was part of the job. But, Tony helped him understand that sometimes it was fine for him to take a break and allow other people to help him. It was one of the things comforting him in the moment.
After nearly a half hour of sitting together and allowing Peter to cry into his arms, Tony finally suggested that they go get him some food. Tony knew that with all of the energy Peter had exerted today dealing with everything, he’d be hungry. Luckily, Pepper had already started preparing the kitchen for omelets - Tony’s special.
While the couple cooked and prepared their breakfast, Peter sat on the couch, idly watching a Star Wars movie. The usually busy kitchen was no longer filled with laughter and chatter, but instead was soaked in a grim silence. Peter was grateful they weren’t forcing him to talk about anything for the time being. He really didn’t want to think about how his whole life was being torn apart right now, nor about what would happen with May.
Something deep down inside of him told him that she was gone now and he was going to have to understand that eventually. He just… he didn’t want to. Why should he when his whole life had been turned upside down in the course of a few hours? He’d always heard about how life wasn’t fair and sometimes you just had to suck it up and deal with it. His entire life was about dealing with trauma and how he was the one who’d beat the odds and made it out alive when none of his other family members did. He was supposed to just understand by now that he wasn’t meant to have anyone close to him because when that happened they died, but maybe this time he didn’t want to accept that. Instead, he pushed away all of his thoughts and lost himself in the world of lightsabers and spaceship battles.
When the food was ready, he joined them at the table in silence, answering a few questions about how the movie was. However, gone was his usually extroverted self. When the meal was over, he silently excused himself back to his room, entirely missing the concerned glance that Tony and Pepper exchanged as he left the room. He laid out on his bed and immediately fell asleep. Why shouldn’t he? After all, if he wasn’t conscious he didn’t have to think about anything. For once, he was glad that he didn’t typically dream. He was sure that if he did, he’d be forced to endure the horrific scene all over again. The cold chill that had robbed him of all warmth, and the silence that made him feel like he was alone in the universe.
As the last bit of consciousness was ripped from his body to leave him in a blissful state of ignorance, he realized that from now on, life was going to be much harder and much different than it ever had but maybe, just maybe, with Tony and Pepper he’d get through it.
2087
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