I MET YOO KIHYUN: the post of my LIFE.
Hello. Yes.
I received two (2) tickets to enter the raffle for an online fansign through Japanese Tower Records, since I live here and the store is about a 40-minute train ride’s journey away from me. I almost didn’t even register the raffle tickets, y’all; I thought, there is no way. There’s no way I am going to win with TWO raffle tickets after there are people who have purchased literally thousands of albums for this fansign.
Yet I decided to enter. And this, my good dudes, is what transpired.
First of all, I ACCIDENTALLY SCREWED UP THE CALL~~I was supposed to be #6 out of 30, and they disconnected the call because I couldn’t get the mic to work (I was on the phone with the staff and literally HEARD YOO KIHYUN’S VOICE IN THE BACKGROUND--IT WAS TORTURE). So I tried not to cry as I sat there in front of my phone, hoping and praying desperately that they’d give me a second chance to answer my phone and get the mic right.
And they DID!!!! They bumped me to the very end. And this, THIS is what transpired.
First photo: Yoo Kihyun greeting me and looking excited to see me
Okay, y’all. This was his face. THIS WAS HIS FACE. Do you realize how precious it is to have someone looking at you like that SAIDOUASIDUAISODU it’s an absolute miracle I kept my cool and remained composed? Like I actually remained composed. I don’t know how it happened.
SECOND PHOTO: Yoo Kihyun smiling when I said it was good to finally meet him and then APOLOGIZING for the connectivity issues even though I was the problem.
This is how it went.
“Hello, Kihyun!”
“Hi, [my name]!”
“It’s good to finally meet you!”
“Yeah, finally! So sorry about the...little problem!”
“It’s okay! It’s my fault!”
“No, no. It’s not your fault.”
THIRD PHOTO: Ya girl personally invites Yoo Kihyun to come to Tokyo LOL who am i
He asked me where I was (definitely think he was surprised to hear that I live in Tokyo). He said he wants to come to Tokyo. I personally invited him to Tokyo. Yes. I did that. Hahah. As if there’s not a whole virus ravaging the world right now, preventing him from going on tour. That’s probably the closest I got to being flustered xD He said he couldn’t come Tokyo yet but that he wants to, and I told him I understood. Oh, gosh. I’m so glad I somehow didn’t notice how precious his smile was until AFTER the video call bc lemme tell you, if I’d have focused on his smile right here, y’all, I’d have lost it.
FOURTH PHOTO: Ya girl asks Yoo Kihyun for permission to tell him something (like it’s not his actual job in this moment to be my captive audience)
Me: there’s something I want to tell you.
Me: is it okay to tell you?
Kihyun: mmmm (like, the affirmative “mmm”).
Me: thank you very much
(also, as the very supportive @uwunnie pointed out in her reaction video to this video call, I want to mention that he struggled to keep a smile in check as I began speaking.)
FIFTH PHOTO: this actually isn’t the fifth photo, I just really wanted you to see his face being particularly wonderful and attentive again
ACTUAL FIFTH PHOTO: Ya girl tells Yoo Kihyun what I’ve wanted to say...for years.
Here’s the serious part.
Tw for eating disorders, body image
I explained to Kihyun, in simple terms because I didn’t want to say anything that the monitors would consider “inappropriate,” that there was a time in my life two years ago when I didn’t feel beautiful or confident. I explained that I stopped eating and became very sick. During that time, Kihyun and the other members of Monsta X made me smile and helped me with their kindness. I explained then....
SIXTH PHOTO: Kihyun’s reaction to my story
I explained then that I am now SO healthy and SO happy and living my dream...to which this precious human literally clasped his hands together and did a small bow at me. I then thanked him for his kindness in Korean (y’all don’t even know...I had a friend send me the translation and then practiced the pronunciation with her for ages) and bowed to him.
Listen to me. I know it probably sounds ridiculous that I bowed to him. But there were two things I had in mind. One, he knew I lived in Tokyo. Two, I’m pretty sure he heard me speaking Japanese with the staff during the connecting portion of the call because I heard him say something to staff in the background. And because my bow looked natural--because it’s something I do multiple times DAILY while living here--I do genuinely believe it conveyed gratitude rather than just looking awkward and koreaboo-y.
SEVENTH PHOTO: Yoo Kihyun is speechless, which could perhaps be a product of the fact that I threw a bunch of English/a butchered Korean thank-you at him after a bunch of phone calls with Japanese Monbebe, but he kept saying “wow,” which was incredibly gratifying because I was not sure how he would respond to my story and hoped that it would not be personal to an uncomfortable degree
EIGHTH PHOTO: Yoo Kihyun tells me that stories like mine is the reason why he does “this job”
Amidst a lot of “wow,” Kihyun told me exactly that.
“Wow. That was...wow. That's the reason I do this job, and you are...wow. Thank you so much. You just said we changed your life, right?”
(to which I responded, yes, even though that wasn’t EXACTLY what I said--but it was the message I conveyed, and I’m so thankful he parsed that out of my thank-you monologue)
NINTH PHOTO: i’m not kidding, y’all, he really looks at his fans like we personally hung the stars in the sky and brought to life all the good things on this earth
He clasped his hands together and told me how happy it made him to hear my story. “Wow. For sure. Yeah. Wow.” Basically, he said “wow” about 20 times.
TENTH PHOTO: Yoo Kihyun promises that he will stay healthy and happy
(so you’d better do just that, sir)
ELEVENTH PHOTO: Yoo Kihyun thanks me again and tells ME to stay healthy
...which I’m going to remember whenever I feel tempted to skip a meal or push my body too far with exercise.
TWELFTH PHOTO: confirmed: Kihyun loves me
He said so as he blew a kiss to me. So, y’know. I said it back, even though I hadn’t originally wanted to because I don’t use those words when it comes to kpop stars because???? i don’t know them????? i only know the part of themselves that they present to the public??? except i do say i love wonho but that’s because he’s wonho and you just...don’t NOT say you love wonho
But not saying “I love you” felt incomplete, because isn’t that what I was saying the whole time I was explaining to him how he changed my life?
~*~*~*~*~*~
Long story short, it’s insane and amazing and insanely amazing that I had this opportunity to thank Yoo Kihyun for the tremendously positive impact he’s had in my life, especially because I know how rare it is for people who don’t have the means to buy hundreds of albums to get into fansigns like these. In a vicious industry where it would be the easiest thing in the world to decide to detach emotionally from the public,
where you can play the “standoffish” card and make it look cool,
where you’re not required to communicate with fans so often, literally counseling them + learning their language so you can send them sweet messages + being part of a group that makes sure that awards are always credited to their fans and not just the group themselves,
Yoo Kihyun chooses to be kind, and gosh, the guy definitely has edge and sharpness and won’t take crap from anyone, but the heart he chooses to share with us motivates me all over again to be open and enthusiastic and forgiving.
And y’all. He thanked me. HE thanked ME. He didn’t have to. But it’s something I’ll cherish til the day I die.
Which is probably coming sooner than later because...holy crap...I TALKED TO YOO KIHYUN ASIDOUASOIDUAISOUDOIASUDOIASUDOIAUSDU
