HARA â xxv, wedding planner, dreamlike.
"I donât pick flowers anymore," I say.
they grow from my hair. they grow from my heart. maybe theyâll bloom in my bed, when I finally go home; when I finally rest.
hi pals! so iâve come with bad news but i think itâs the right thing to do. so judging by my spotty-on-and-off activity and constant dragged replies, itâs no surprise that my muse for hara is slowly disappearing on me. with that said, i have decided to drop her and will be leaving this beautiful group. iâve just sent the main a message. :((
iâd just like to thank the admins for all the hard work and their splendid job with vancouvhq; as well as all the members who are such talented writers! itâs been such a blessing to write with you all. sending extra love to those i have plotted with (but also so sorry for gotta blasting yall). thank you so so much for letting me be a part of this!!!!
i wish this group good luck; and who knows, i might just come back  with a new muse! <3 <3Â
(( if anyone would like to keep in touch, my aim is hobojournxlist and my tumblr is at @pcperpetals ))
iâm the worst honestly; but iâm struggling with low muse right now so hopefully tomorrowâs a better day! i have some replies drafted and will be working my way around the starter tag tomorrow! sorry for those who are waiting and for dragging these threads :///////
blue could be careless about a number of things. relationships? sure. drinking, partyingâ all of that too. but school? never. he swore on his grave that he put his usb drive in his bag where it belonged, but why it wasnât there was beyond him. leaned over one of the couches in the lobby, he dug his hand in between two cushions, desperately hoping to find it. âhave you seen a usb drive?â he asked in mild panic, too busy searching to pay much attention to the person he directed his question to. âitâs shaped like a paw, and itâs blue.â
Haraâs brows furrowed from confusion at the sight of Blue constantly digging his hands in between cushions in a hurried and panicking manner. It didnât take much for her to notice the current situation going on from where she stood; the desperation shown only worrying the older woman. But before she could even raise a question in regards to what heâs looking for, it had already been answered by the other with his very own. "No, sorry,â she shook her head; her lips curving into a frown from how hopeless she felt. Her eyes fell to the ground; scanning it in case he had dropped it. âWhatâs on it? Anything too important?â
amusement flashed dangerously in green eyes as jocelyn easily shed the scowl, an exaggeratedly happy beam taking its place. â oh, goodness gracious, iâm sorry, hara, â she sighed loudly, slapping her palm against her temple. â did i say that i would start bashing their head in? i mean, whenever someone disrespects me, iâll go and make them a nice cappuccino and paint their nails. gosh, that was silly of me. â
the softness through haraâs hues didnât last very long -- in fact, it seems as though jocelynâs choice of words and the tone she had chosen to chime in had managed to turn the twenty-five year oldâs gaze into a much colder one. she gave out a deep exhausted sigh, her head tilting slightly towards an angle as she kept eye contact with the other. âiâm sure youâre not used to it -- seeing as youâre more comfortable with being petty and brutal, but surely it wonât hurt for you to be the bigger person every now and then.â she didnât mean to come off too strong and quite frankly, a part of her knows that it probably doesnât faze the other; but every time sheâs around joycelyn, she always seems to find a way to toughen and shake up haraâs serene personality. âiâm not saying you should let people push you around or disrespect you; iâm just saying, you know, have them eat their words through other ways than bashing their head in.â
â hara holds a habit in twisting and denying reality; manipulating memories to make all of them seem pleasant. despite her urge in wanting to believe in all the good, in all tales being real, along with her dreams; not everything is all that she seems. at times it crumbles down; through tainted faith and failed wishes which takes quite a toll on her.
ghosts in the photograph never lied to me; i'd be all of that, i'd be all of that. a false memory would be everything; a denial, my eliminent. what was that for? what was that for? what would you do if you saw spaceships over glasgow? would you fear them? every aircraft, every camera is a wish that wasn't granted; what was that for? what was that for? try to be bad. try to be bad
002. DREAM, PRISCILLA AHN
â then and now; a comparison between the person she was when she was younger (when things were much simpler and easier) to the person she has grown up to be. an assurance that everything will be okay and that the future, no matter how scary, sheâll be able to fight through -- come what may.
i was a little girl, alone in my little world; who dreamed of a little home for me. i played pretend between the trees and fed my house guests bark and leaves and laughed in my pretty bed of green. i had a dream; that I could fly from the highest swing. i had a dream.
003. I REMEMBER HER, INGRID MICHAELSON
â in regards to both her deceased biological parents. her frequent meetings with them in her dreams are what keeps the memories fresh to her. a constant reminder that they do exist and that they are looking over her.
thereâs a house, thatâs not on a hill and the paintâs chipping off of the old window sill. thereâs a tree in the front yard thatâs older than me and older than all of you. (...) she would kiss my hand, she would kiss my head; then sheâd fall asleep with me in my tiny bed. she would sing me lullabies, gave me my hazel eyes and then sheâd call me beautiful. she made me beautiful. i remember her, i remember her, i remember her so well (...) but things they fade, things turn to grey. as much as I try to save them, they turn grey. just like the house, thatâs not on a hill, with all of the rust on the gate, the chips on the sill; but I love it still
004. CALENDAR GIRL, STARS
â when it all gets a bit too much for hara, she often would keep to herself and shut down in her apartment on her own. a struggle with the fight going on with her; as she tries to face reality but finds herself scared of what it might do if she accepts it. eventually, she heals with the small bit of hope left inside her.
if i am lost for a day; try to find me. but if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me. all of the things that I thought were so easy; just got harder and harder each day. december is darkest and june is the light but this empty bedroom won't make anything right. while out on the landing a friend i forgot to send home, who waits up for me all through the night. calendar girl who's in love with the world; stay alive.
005. ALIVE, GABRIELLE APLIN
â a song of recovery and hara healing eventually from her fall. keeping and growing more hope inside of her; knowing that sheâs lucky to be here.
just one step, a different day; would I know you at all? would I know you at all? when your kingdom falls and your family fade; but it wasn't your fault. it was never your fault. and I realize you have to feel alive. all your worries will escape through the door and you'll wake up all alone on the floor; it's not too late. just rely on me now.
006. WHOLE LOT OF HEART, INGRID MICHAELSON
â hara has days where she doesnât like who she is; due to past experiences where she had been bullied for the way she is and for how her family is. despite the pain and at time losing herself to please others, there are parts that she would never exchange.
you said there's something âbout the moon; it rose too soon. are we doing what we should? you said it's life that moves too much; we're losing touch but I'm not losing you. there's a whole lot of heart in me; i feel it under my skin and I know and I know and I know; there's a whole lot of heart in me. it's takes a whole lot of heart to see; everything's coming down roses; and I know and I know and I know; there's a whole lot of heart in me.
007. BE STILL, THE KILLERS
â her fathersâ words to her; on keeping her innocence, and not letting anything break her character no matter how rough life can get. they known and understood the difficulties she had faced growing up; the trouble in connecting with people, and reality. they worry to say the least; how her compassionate and innocence might welcome people to take advantage of her. however, it doesnât stop them from telling hara to stay the way she is.
be still, and go on to bed. nobody knows what lies ahead, and life is short to say the least; we're in the belly of the beast. be still, wild and young. long may your innocence reign; like shells on the shore, and may your limits be unknown, and may your efforts be your own; if you ever feel you can't take it anymore. don't break character; you've got a lot of heart. is this real or just a dream? rise up like the sun, labor till the work is done.
008. PROVIDENCE, LISA MITCHELL
â her bravery and optimism in facing and viewing the world through her eyes; mostly the good and believing the good.
we're young! we're old! we look we climb the trees, we can't tell them from we. it's hard, i know; we search, we wait. oh world! oh world! oh universe! we're here, we're ready! what do you want? i speak to you most everyday, i smell the roses i am brace; oh world, oh world, oh universe! i'm here.
009. NEOPOLITAN DREAMS, LISA MITCHELL
â the world through haraâs eyes. she drifts off, being lost in her own world; ignoring reality the way it is and blocking it from raining on her parade.Â
you go on i'll be okay, i can dream the rest away. it's just a little touch of fate; it'll be okay. it sure takes its precious time, but it's got right and so have i. i turn my head up to the sky, i focus one thought at a time; i do not let the little thieves under my tightly buttoned sleeves. you couldn't be a longer time, i feel like i am walking blind, i have nowhere i'll have time (...)  i like the way that you talk, i like the way that you walk; it's hard to recreate such an individual gate. you wait your turn in the queue, you say your sorries and thank you's; i don't think you're ever a hundred percent in the room.
010. ALL ABOUT YOUR HEART, MINDY GIEDHILL
â haraâs personality and her view on unconditional love; about accepting someoneâs past no matter if itâs bad or good. this song applies to her relationship with her best friend jack wyndham.
i don't mind your odd behavior, it's the very thing i savor. if you were an ice cream flavor, you would be my favorite one. my imagination sees you like a painting by van gogh; starry nights and bright sunflowers; follow you where you may go. (...)Â you're a butterfly held captive; small and safe in your cocoon. go on you can take your time, time is said to heal all wounds. oh, i've loved you from the start, in every single way and more each passing day. you are brighter than the stars. believe me when i say, it's not about your scars; it's all about your heart
011. COIN LAUNDRY, LISA MITCHELL
â haraâs innocent and naive thoughts about love. she often romanticizes scenarios; on meeting the right person.
there i was sitting on the top of the world in a coin laundry. well i could have been royalty, sitting in the palace like a queen. do you have a dollar? do you have a dollar for me? have you got a house on a hill and a bed for three? do you have a story. do you have a story for me? do you know the one where we'll all live happily?Â
"Oh -- sorry,â Hara apologized immediately; only to have her voice trail off, cutting herself short with a âI didnât mean to--â as she hurried to reach over for her bag. She must have spaced out during the short minutes of waiting for her drink; the sudden confrontation snapping her out of a day dream she held such a bad habit of drifting into. It wasnât her intention to keep the woman waiting, nor did she want the other to feel as though she was hoping for a free drink; it wasnât as though she couldnât afford it. âSorry about that,â the twenty-five year old apologized again with a small small playing on her lips, but this time she handed the woman money of the exact amount of her drink hoping it would at least clear the air. âMy mind wasnât here -- I didnât mean to keep you waiting, let alone make you think i wanted a free drink.â
iâm a little distracted tonight (honestly just blame netflix tbh) so iâll most likely get on with replies tomorrow. if anyone would like to start a thread or plot tho please donât hesitate to hmu!!! i would really love some plots going on for hara. ngl her being good is getting slightly boriNg rip. i need someone to fuck her up!!!! or just give me angst tbh.
âAccording to Chromeâs history, I spent most of my last night trying to sell my car and buy a new one. I donât think I actually remember doing any of that, which is strange, because I havenât partied this week, at all. I might have just glitched out for like, an hour or so, but that doesnât explain the fact that I am extremely confused as to why would I want to sell my dearly beloved Ghost.â
âThatâs so cute -- did you name your car Ghost? It actually reminds me of that one movie; i think it was called Pixels? Where classic arcade games comes to life as some sort of weapons for intergalactic aliens, who threatens to take over the world; and at one point, these Mini Coopers, in different colours, symbolizes as Ghosts; and they have to beat Pac-Man with it. Itâs pretty wild, and I must sound insane if you havenât watched the movie.â She cleared her throat through a short pause. âSorry, wow, Iâm a rambling mess, arenât I? Have you had any friends over recently? Or did you lend anyone your laptop?â
â oh, i promise, â jocelyn muttered, watching the smoke from her cigarette rise, stark against the fat snowflakes. â the next time some snotty privileged man baby mistakes me for some grovelling new intern and demands that i give them coffee, iâll grab the coffee machine and start bashing their head in. â
Haraâs lips parted from the otherâs threatening promise; her attention adverted rather quickly due to the brutal statement. âI donât see how they could mistaken you as an intern -- you donât look like one nor do I believe you act like one. Maybe itâs just an honest mistake,â Hara suggested with a shrug, regretting the words the second it slipped right out.
it took kaden quite a moment to recognize hara, he hadnât seen her in a long time. not since sheâd been the intern working on him and yasminâs wedding. hell, he was a completely different person. seeing her now, it wasâ it didnât matter. âshe moves faster than i thought she could, and iyhinkiâm becoming an old man,â he joked, shaking his head. it was awkward, or something of the likes. saddeningâ at least what seeing her face brought back. he grinned as the little girl answered her, telling her that her name was Stephanie. âyouâre unsurprisingly good with kids,â he noted, hara actually managing to get the girl to still.
No matter if they were good, bad, painful or simply golden, holding onto memories was one of Haraâs many habits. To say she treasured them was an understatement; as she would often unlock the box within her and allow them to run free during her unpredictable, mostly sudden, daydreaming sessions. It was difficult for her to look at Kaden without flashing back to the day of his wedding; how the smile on his face was one of her favourite moments during that special day, as he watched Yasmin walk down the aisle. Seeing him, without her around his arm, or around his presence at all, broke her heart. âOh come on, give yourself a little credit here,â she joked along with him, tilting her head and mustering the courage to look up at him. Though he may look the same, with a few changes due to the years bringing upon themselves, there was a part of her that knew it no longer felt or was the same at all for him. âLong time no see, Kadenâ she began, only to hesitate in asking the most simple (for others at least) but difficult question of all. âHow have you been?â Her lips curved instantly at the voice of the little girlâs -- she must be under some spell to have her breath be taken away so easily. âNah, Iâm actually quite horrible with kids. It depends on the kid themselves; if theyâre a darling, like Stephanie here, I would willingly spoil them down to their brittle bones. But if iâm unfortunate, and meet little monsters who are demanding and pushy -- well, thatâs a different story.â Her eyes were glued onto the girl as she spoke; her smile deepening. âDonât run around like that, Stephie. Youâre way too pretty that itâs actually dangerous. Wouldnât want you to wind up lost. One day this old man might not be able to catch you in time.â
Alessa smiled softly at her friend, he head tilting to the side as she spoke. They were a bit of an odd mix when it came to the notion of friendship â Alessa wild, uncaring of her image, whilst Hara was daringly soft and Alessa adored her for it. But, the best friendships often came from opposite personalities, or they did in Alessaâs mind anyway. âDoesnât the bride have her little cronies or whatever to do that?â she teased, pouting softly at the notion of Hara looking exhausted. âSuppose thatâs fair though, being a bride sheâs probably stressed over⊠bride-ly stuff. But like, isnât a dress the most important part? Damn,â she trailed off shaking her head at the bride she didnât even know. âLet me at least help you,â she offered, her arms outstretching. âSo glad to see you tooâ definitely a day off, thank-god. I feel all I do is work. I missed âya,â she pouted.
Hara pursed her lips to the side whilst she rolled her shoulders inwards reflecting her own confusion. âIâm in no position to say this but I donât think this marriage is important to her,â Hara responded with a faint sigh of disappointment. It was naive of Hara to think marriage and love was important to everyone else as it is for her; but there was always hope in that fragile and small body of hers making it hard for her to accept the different forms. âI pretty much have to do everything for this bride -- and by everything, i mean everything. She takes no effort whatsoever to pick out things for the weddings and she doesnât seem to have a plan with it -- all she wants is to get married; and Iâm confident its for the money.â Hara felt angered in some way -- the rhythm on how her words fell out of her lips came pouring out whilst her tone gradually grew bitter. A frown was soon present on her features, and through yet another exhausting sigh, she evenly handed some dresses over to Alessa; uttering a quiet âthank you,â before resuming back towards the direction she was headed off to. Frankly, all she wanted to do then was to hand the dresses over. Despite weddings being one of the many things that could never fail to make Hara happy, she could not wait for this one to be over. âItâs about time you got some time to rest -- all you do is work,â she repeated the last phrase in confirmation. âHave you got any plans today? --Apart from helping little ol' me out. If not, once i get rid of all this, we could get you relaxed for the day. Catch me up on any gossip going around at work; I do love stories.â
It wasnât even that Charlie was watching the woman. It was difficult to do just that when one was sitting in a booth with their friends. Though he and his friends were quiet, and though they occupied their own space at the back of the diner, they were together; this often meant forgetting about other people and losing themselves to their own world. With their twenty-four hour shift coming up soon, it was a necessity to just drink some milkshake in an attempt to ignore how tired they would be when the sun came up again. There were a few jokes shared here and there, a few stories about love and life and everything in between, but ultimately, it was just nice to be quiet with a group of people who needed quiet. Ultimately, it was just nice to be around people who understood one another.
What Charlie did notice, however, was the waitress who kept coming to the same table. He thought nothing of it at first, and along with everything else, ignored the waitress who walked over to the same table. But, by the fifth time the woman had come back, something curious rose within Charlie. It wasnât his business, he knew. It wasnât his to mind, wasnât his to care about. Whatever was happening was happening, and Charlie shouldnât have had to have a hand in it. He was a simple customer, after all â and not even a regular. What he shouldâve done was kept to himself and to his friends.
But Charlie was Charlie. The firefighters he was with exchanged looks within the group as he excused himself in order to talk to the waitress, though nonetheless, allowed him to go.
When he did, Charlie beelined straight to the waitress and asked for the details of what was happening with a look of worry written so well over his features that the woman couldnât help but tell him the story. As he heard it, he couldnât help but furrow his eyebrows and come to the conclusion that he was to help somebody.
Charlie should not have been the hero of this story. But, he liked being good. He liked helping people. He liked being there for others.
And so, he headed straight to the woman by the table with a smile so genuine and pure on his lips. âCan I sit down?â he asked, and from behind him, the waitress egged the woman on. âIâmâ Iâm Charlie, and your date is a dick.â He said these with a voice so soft that no one else but the woman could hear it. But, when he spoke again, his voice was much louder. âSorry Iâm late! Came from a business meeting and the guy just wouldn't stop talking!â
If Hara was a flower, she would have willingly hand-picked her own petals, reciting the well-known French game (in which an individual seeks to determine whether their affection has been returned or not) to pass her time and fill in her curiosity. Instead, she drew a simple sunflower with the pad of her index finger on the fogged glass that separated the cold night from her wilting posture. She was losing hope, and though she knew it wouldnât bother her tomorrow, or the day after (as life still goes on, and love still remains), her low self-esteem and thoughts could not stop herself from thinking, and digging, what was it about her that changed the manâs mind.
She had an arm stretched out in front of her and her head rested on it as she watched the droplets from the corners of her drawn sunflower slowly forming bigger droplets on its way down. Her gaze and inner thoughts were so lost and drifted that she didnât even realize a presence was near her. Not until he muttered a word that captured her attention; causing her to lift her head up, her posture to improve and  her gaze to meet his.
Within that brief second, on taking notice of the otherâs presence and before she had set her eyes on the firefighter, Hara thought it was the man she had almost waited the entire night for. Despite getting her hopes shattered right in front of her -- yet again, the smile on the unnamed maleâs face managed to have her own lips curving in a hopeful manner. She nodded silently at his question, only to have the small smile on her features grow even bigger from how he had addressed her so-called date. She was however, unsure on why he had chosen to speak in such a soft spoken tone, and even questioned his motives; but despite it all, she introduced herself to return his greeting. With the same tone, she uttered a quiet âHaraâ back at him.
It wasnât until Charlie raised his voice did Hara instantly picked up on his agenda. A chuckle escaped her lips till she suppressed it with what seems to be a never-ending growing grin. âYou donât have to do this for me,â she whispered with the remaining smile; her upper body slightly leaned forward as she hope her voice wasnât too quiet for him to hear, though quiet for others. âItâs about damn time -- I thought you forgot about me!â She decided to play along; a wholeheartedly laugh coming out of her lips so naturally, the man she was once frowned over has already been forgotten.
kadenâs fathers both came from large families, which had always meant a constant flow of one relative or another coming through his homes as a child. it didnât change at all now that he was residing in a penthouse of his own. actuallyâ it was worse considering they knew heâd be stationary for a while. it was how he ended up babysitting for one of his cousins while they visited vancouverâ not that he minded, he loved kids. however the blonde girl he was watching wanted to go exploring, landing them in the elvator where she had to press every last floor. now, she ran out of the elevator squeeling in glee. taking a second to groan to himself, she was over there talking to the first person she could find in the lobby, taking it upon herself to play with the bottom of their coat. âcome âhere mokey,â he said with a sigh, scooping her up in his arms. âsorry about that, mate. in that curious toddler stage i guessâ as long as she didnât try and steal anything from you.â
Feeling a slight tug coming from the hem of her coat, Hara lowered her head down to set her sight on a pair of wide hues of innocence. Together with her eyes that held every fascination of the world, her blonde locks, her long lashes and bright smile; it tugged onto the twenty-five year oldâs heartstrings; and sooner did she know it, she had herself kneeling down to the little girlâs level, a wide smile present on her features. Within the short seconds of meeting her, Hara could feel herself getting quite attached -- the urge to know the little girlâs name and her reason on wandering around the lobby on her own growing inside her. âThatâs alright,â Hara chuckled lightly; her eyes still fixated on the little girl. However, with her rising back up and her gaze lifted up to meet Kadenâs, she was lost for words. âYou gotta keep an eye on this little gem,â she quickly added, hoping it came out casual and less hesitant; though really, she was unsure of what to say. âWhatâs your name, petal?â She finally asked the child, the pads of her finger brushing against the little girlâs rosy cheeks.