DrewStew_art

Word blobs and art stuff

[drewstew-art]

Thursday, 7:48pm

I have a story in my head but I just cannot get it down onto paper. I really want to get this story out of my head but every time I sit down to write, the words just...fall flat. I use to write a ton when I was in high school but as I've gotten older, my words just don't have the same punch.

I miss the days when all I had to worry about was filling my days with useless shit. I grew up homeschooled, and my parents were very much hermits, so we didn't do much but go to the library and work on school work and go home. Which is partly why I am always reading, that was my comfort when I was lonely or just bored. And I've filled my free time as an adult with reading and some drawing but I just feel like it's all stale. Am I losing my creative side or just the ability to get it down on paper? Both with words and with imagery.

I have so many ideas and things that I like drawing and find ways to find inspiration but when I actually sit down to do it, just nothing happens. I haven't seriously worked on art in...years?

I always feel like there's something else I should be doing or would rather be doing instead of just sitting there working on something that isn't going to go anywhere. I'm never going to get a book published or art work shown in a gallery, as much as I would love both of those things.

I just feel like this world isn't ready for what I have to share.

I know that both of those things are something I could achieve if I really wanted to, but I just feel like I'm not good enough.

I spend all day at work thinking about all the things that I want to do that's outside of just working and entering orders but the second I'm out of work, I'm either too tired or just too lazy. And maybe that's just my issue. The drive isn't there anymore.

Bleh.

[drewstew-art]

Wednesday, 7:15am

So I've figured out something super fucking weird about myself...I like running. Like actually running. And it's fucking odd.

When I was a kid, we didn't really do much exercise or sports or anything like that, because we were Homeschooled, hermits and my parents didn't really have the time, or desire for us to be involved in sports or anything of the sort.

But now that I'm an adult, out on my own, 860 miles away from said hermit home, I have finally been able to really try something I didn't think I would enjoy.

I started running about a year ago. It took a while to really figure out HOW to run. Yes, there is a right and a wrong way to do it. My husband use to run track when he was in highschool, so he was a big help.

I started around the neighborhood, and sometimes at the gym and honestly the longest I could go was about...2 feet before I gave up and started walking.

But in the last couple of weeks, I've really picked up my pace and I can actually go quite a while without stopping which is just crazy to me.

Yesterday, my best time and longest distance was 1.75 miles in 20 minutes. And that was on the treadmill because RIP my shins.

The day before that was 1.5 miles in 17 minutes.

There really is a runners high. I swore it was fake, and people were just being crazy and they actually hated themselves, but no. It's fucking real. You get to a certain point where everything else just kinda fades away and you felt like 2 seconds ago that you couldn't possibly take one more step but you did and now you are 10 steps farther than you were so you start to get giddy and feel just unstoppable.

So yeah, I like running. Plus, I've lost like hella weight doing it. I'm down 3, maybe 4 jeans sizes, 2 shirt sizes, and I just went down panties size. Oh! And I went down a bra size.

Nuts.

[drewstew-art]

Tuesday, 7:41pm

I've reached that point where I'm just done and my body is just too freaking exhausted.

I have been on the implant birth control for about 7 years now and I've finally had it. It has treated me really well, for the first like 5 or 6 years, I didn't have a period and when I did it was like years apart and super light with hardly any cramping. It was perfect. I think I gained weight but that could have either been from the BC or just that my diet and lack of exercise was so bad.

Since I got my second round of the implant, they have extended it from 3 years to 4 years and this is my 4th year. I triple checked with my gyno to make sure it was safe and I wasn't going to get pregnant or have any issues and she assured me, I would be fine. But this last year has just been hell on me.

Since September of 2021, when I started my 4th year with the implant I had two absolutely massively horrible periods. I'm talking emptying a large menstrual cup like every 3 maybe 4 hours. Its awful. Plus my cramps are back, I'm super hormonal and I have zero idea if it's just me, the week, my period or my birth control so I've decided to just get off of the BC.

I asked my husband his opinion, since we are not at the having babies stage yet and he informed me that it was up to me and we can just go back to condoms or another form of birth control that works for me and it's completely my decision. (I seriously love this man)

So I think I'm just ready to go back to condoms and get off this bullshit. Here's the issue with being on BC, any menstrual or vaginal issue you have, can never really be pinned down to anything specific because the reasoning will always be, "Oh that's normal for women on that birth control" and to me that's just plain bullshit. I have having something be an excuse even though I feel really off and just...miserable.

I just want to know if it's me, or there is some other explanation, and I really fucking hope there is because I am seriously over this shit.

UGH.

[drewstew-art]

Tuesday, 1:51

Good afternoon, I'm tired and worn out and I would like to go back to bed.

But that's not really the main focus of this little text blurb.

I honestly have no real focus, just to say, I haven't forgotten about you and I think I'm going to start doing some book Reviews and sharing them on here just because I have no many thoughts, and some days, they just don't wanna stay in my head. LOL

[all-hallows-night]

Fall feelings 🍁

[leafsandpumpkins]

rainy days

[assassin1513]

Autumn is coming 🍂 gifs made by me :)

[wckd256]

Super content with this 😌

[assassin1513]

🍂November Vibes 🍂 gifs/edits made by me :)

[assassin1513]

🍁Hello November 🍁 gifs made by me :)

[natalliatsuran]

[thestrawberrynight]

being the lady, who lives in the castle, has a large library and a cellar with lots of bottles of wine, reads books, while sitting in the cosy chair, always wears lace dresses, settles vintage parties and mysteriously smiles at strangers

[assassin1513]

🍁Hello November 🍁 gifs made by me :)

[rebashow]

[rebashow]

[rebashow]

[schittscreekgifs]

SCHITT’S CREEK // Finding David