Iām the type of man who shows hole in public when Philly cheesesteak egg rolls are on the line
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@drippgobblin
Iām the type of man who shows hole in public when Philly cheesesteak egg rolls are on the line
based off of this post
At some point in our relationship my husband became better than me at nearly everything while I got fat and depressed and gave in to my addiction. Sick of that. Done with it. Iām taking shit back to how it was before we got married. That motherfucker is on notice. Watch out @jimmythemaus Iām coming for your bitchass
she doesn't have a birth certificate either
my friend's puppy has baffling levels of attitude for someone who's only been around for a handful of months. he understands concepts like deceit and civil disobedience and other things i didn't fully grasp until well into my 20s. this guy doesn't even know the seasons loop yet. he's probably like okay spring. what's next. some other new bullshit i bet
guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home
I've been told the pet play cannot contain talk of euthanasia
dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats
You ever think of the volume 7 discourse and remember how wild it is when you take a step back from it?
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
Itās called a buntā¦. Not weed cigarette⦠And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They donāt look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Iām so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down Iām so mad.
YourĀ āweed smoking girlfriendā has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerpā¦. Donāt ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Donāt wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNINGĀ
Well that escalated quicklyā¦ā¦
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they arenāt worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. Iām yelling so loud and now Iām crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I canāt take anymore. Iām opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that āI HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDSā, āTHEY ALL KISS MEā, and āTHEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURRā.
and letās not forget the āBlaizā and her āwicked tatā, or that he doesnāt āwanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever againā, and that this is āthe FINAL FUCKING WARNINGā.
āthe goo pile that is now your bodyā
iām dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, itāll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot⦠*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omgĀ
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. Iām clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and heās muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals Iām still Ā at the bar. You look to the exit, thereās still time. But thereās not, thereās not, thereās not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. Ā I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I havenāt shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and Iām missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, itās like that only instead of boots itās my muscles and instead of walking itās punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family⦠Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insultedĀ theĀ Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing⦠no playing you fuck. No playing⦠it was real.. the realest thing Iāve ever know.. felt⦠Love. I loved them⦠Blaizā¦. Chas-Chas⦠Funk⦠I loved all three of em⦠but theyā¦*My face is wet with tears and Iām blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me⦠left⦠*Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?!Ā *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging.Ā āPft, you brought this upon yourself dude.ā He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me⦠* I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
Happy 420
Happy 420
weaponized autism
Weiss should probably have known better than to agree to Whitley's request to visit. I can't imagine how annoyed the heiress is walking in on him putting kids in her whole team, as if Blake is more useful to him as an ass licker than she is to Weiss as a huntress
"Are you kidding me!?" Weiss exclaims, stomping her foot. "This is the trouble with the maids all over again!"
Whitley turns his head, looking back over his slender shoulder at his sister with a smug grin. Currently, he had Yang pinned down beneath him on Blake's bed, legs locked around his boyish hips with his cock buried in her cunt. Blake herself had her face between Whitley's legs, the sounds of frantic kissing coming from where her lips were undoubtedly locked against his asshole."Oh, hello sister. Just a moment."
He drags his cock out of her, over a foot of meat glistening with the blonde's juices before he hammers it back in one last time. Yang howls at the ceiling, juices soaking into her girlfriend's bedsheets as she cums her brains out, Blake lowering her head so that she can lick the juices off the inside of Whitley's thighs. Meanwhile, Whitley just lets out a single tense grunt... but from Weiss's vantage point, it's incredibly obvious that he's started to cum as well. His perfectly smooth, plump balls are visibly flexing, clenching up and and tightening against Yang's ass over and over again as they dump his virile load into her womb. The sight of it is almost hypnotic, it seems to go on forever, with Yang's own orgasm only becoming louder and messier with each pulse as she shudders beneath him.
On more than one occasion, a woman has walked in on Whitley knocking up some poor girl and been enthralled by the sight before Weiss now, drawn in by the sheer virility on display on such a slender and elegant young man, ending up on her knees and kissing them as she waited her own turn.
Weiss was better than that, though. It wasn't her first time seeing this, anyway. Every female maid they had back in Atlas had at least one white-haired child waiting for them at home.
She'd thought that he'd control himself for the duration of this visit, however. At least for her own damn team!
As he pulled himself out of Yang, her bloated belly a glimpse of what the future held for her, it was incredibly obvious that she'd been mistaken.
Weiss sighs. "At least you somehow managed to miss Ruby. Half a team is better than no team at all."
Somehow, Whitley's grin grew even smugger without saying a word. Weiss put her face in her hands with a groan. "Oh, for...where is she?"
"Oh, she'll be out any minute now." Whitley airily replied. "Though, she should probably hurry up." He snapped his fingers sharply, and there was a thump from the bathroom before Ruby threw the door open.
She looked like a whore. Her 'shirt' was a white silk mesh that was thin enough that the shadow of her nipples was fully visible underneath, and her skirt had been discarded to leave her in nothing but a pair of tight spats, also white and nigh-transparent. The only thing left alone was her red cloak.
The capstone, of course, was a collar around her throat, that could perhaps be mistaken for a choker from a distance if it wasn't for the elegantly embroidered Property Of Whitley Schnee label wrapping around it.
"I'm sorry!" She blurted out. "I got distracted admiring myself in the mirror and- oh, hey Weiss! Do you like the new outfit?"
Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. Of course he'd brought some of the new maid uniforms with him. He'd been planning this from the start. "I preferred your old one." She grumbled.
"But her old one would look so out of place in her new line of work!" Whitley laughed. He took a seat next to Yang's fucked-out body and casually shoved Blake (also wearing a collar, with a jingling tag) into her girlfriend's creampied pussy. "Oh, right, I forgot to mention. I hired her. Not the other two, though." Ruby pranced over and knelt by his feet. The femboy spread his legs invitingly, and the redhead leaned in to lovingly smooch the tip of his cock before starting to clean the fresh cum and Yang's juices off of it.
"How generous to leave me the two." Weiss deadpanned. "And in such pristine condition, too."
"The lovely faunus girl might have gotten addicted to tonguing my hole while I bred her girlfriend." Whitley admitted with a casual shrug. "So, I probably should hire her on as well. And- oh, why not. I'll complete the set. I'd hate to separate them!"
Ruby started deepthroating his cock, bobbing her head up and down eagerly, and Whitley gave her an encouraging pat.
Weiss glared at him. He smiled back at her. Neither spoke, the only noises the slurping sounds from Blake, the soft moans from Yang, and the eager choking grunts from Ruby. Eventually, Weiss finally broke the stalemate. "You did this on purpose."
"And why would I do that?" Whitley tilted his head innocently.
"To get me back to Atlas!" Weiss snapped.
"Well, it's not so bad there anymore." Whitley shrugged. "Father doesn't talk much after that dreadful accident he had- one misplaced puddle of wine sending a man tumbling down three flights of stairs, how awful- and I've effectively taken over the estate and the business. You'd flourish there!"
There was another standoff, Weiss staring him down and Whitley doing his best innocent little brother impression. Once again, he lasted longer.
"When will you stop trying to seduce me?" Weiss growled.
Whitley's smile widened. He laced his fingers behind his head, showing off his beautifully slender nude body, Ruby eagerly choking herself on his dick between his legs. "Why, sister, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Don't play coy with me." She jabbed her finger at him. "You've been arranging for me to walk in on scenes like this since you hit puberty- and you were an early bloomer! You keep joining me to share the bath and the sauna-"
"There's nothing to be ashamed of, it fosters closeness!" Whitley interjected.
"-You wanted to sleep in my bed with me because of 'nightmares' for six months straight-" "Father's outbursts made me a very troubled child."
"And when your cock ended up against my back under my nightgown?"
Whitley shrugged. "I tossed and turned in my sleep."
"Oh, for-" Weiss throws her arms up. "You're impossible." She turns to storm out of the room, and makes it to the door before Whitley calls out to her.
"Weiss, wait." She looks back at him, and sees him pull Ruby off his cock by her collar, exposing the whole magnificent length of it, freshly shined and throbbing with lust. Her brother looks at her with open desire, and spreads his legs a bit further.
"Would it really be so terrible to try?"
Weiss turns and stomps out the door.
She can't let him see how dry her mouth has become. She can't let him notice the tiny shaking in her knees. She can't let him detect the flush in her cheeks. She can never, ever, let Whitley know how close she is to giving in and finding out what he has that's so special. Because if she does... she might never want anything else.
Back in the room, Whitley glances down at Ruby. She nuzzles against his cock. "You'll get her eventually, master." She encourages him. "If I know Weiss, it's that all that prickly outside is hiding a lot of love underneath it!
"I was so sure I had her this time." He sighed.
Ruby giggled. "Well, you'll just have to make do with us for a little while."
"The horror." Whitley laughed. "Now, up on the bed you little minx. Your sister's baby is going to need a sibling to play with."
Ruby squealed in delight and leapt into his lap, guiding his cock into her soaking pussy as she started to ride him.
Whitley lay back on Yang's belly to enjoy it, a snap of his fingers enough to direct Blake to his chest so he could stroke her hair and praise his kitty for doing such a good job so far.
He'd have Weiss soon. But for now, these three beautiful girls would more than suffice.
Penis
i hate you explode
grace fucking idiot, statement.