₊˚⊹

stupid village girl learns how to use the computer

[droopyremembrs]

⠀:¨ ·.· ¨:⠀sakina . . . ⠀ `· . kavkaz girl ﹒ 22ꜝ ⠀⠀✚ ₊⠀she ⠀/ her　✧˖°. 　　౨౿　03'　﹒ 　︵︵ ﹒my personal diary ((^___^ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ digital artifacts from the 21st century

[droopyremembrs]

if flags flutter in the breeze, birds glide with the wind, and planes soar above the airstream, is it acceptable that i simply breathe in the oxygen?

[droopyremembrs]

my name is mikhail "mikey" nurbekov. i am a 28 year old kazakh man. i sell imported cars in almaty and i am an internation business man. you are my dear friend timur sarsenov, 30, youre an honest white-collar man who sees through my carefully construced performance, i am in love with you secretly. we sit in a parked car and share a cigarette. my eyes linger too long on your mouth.

[droopyremembrs]

i have spent near 48 hours straight screen writing a show I only have told my diary and husnand aboujt. maybe my writyng will go somehwres one day

[droopyremembrs]

i have come up with a tv series idea. Cannot discuss too much on here becuse tyhe haters will sabotage. lets just say. 2000s post-soviet tragicomedy set in Kazakhstan. i have tited it The Last Gentleman of Almaty. no it does not have anything to do with elliot rodger so shut up. if anyome cares. it asks the fundamental human question of "who am i when i am not performing, and if that person is simply ordinary, can I accept the version of myself who really isnt that important?". the main character is named mikhail. he insists his name is actually mikey. everyone can see through his shit besides himself.

[droopyremembrs]

is it still goonbait if we are married

[droopyremembrs]

making my husband watch The Sopranos and Breaking Bad with me to hear his opinions on carmella and skyler to see if he's trustworthy and as a test of character. very revealing without needing to interogate. I am always one step ahead. i also ask ridiculous hypothetical situations like if he would still love me if i was lesbian. just so nothing in the future becomes shocking. he cannot get mad at me now he knows i have kissed women. its expected. One step ahead.

[droopyremembrs]

Hatred towards cats is inherently misoginistic and i wont expain because you all know im right

[droopyremembrs]

"Oh but a cat can't love you" Yeah and clearly your mother doesn't either

[droopyremembrs]

Hatred towards cats is inherently misoginistic and i wont expain because you all know im right

[droopyremembrs]

mikhail nurbekov and timur sarsenov are incredibly important to me because i made them both up

[droopyremembrs]

my husband refuses to cosplay as markiplier for me. beyond fucking angry. I can barely even type i’m shaking so fuckubg hsrd

[droopyremembrs]

this city needs to ban military jet flyovers and all fireworks within 5km of me because why am i convinced Israel has finally had finally come for me

[droopyremembrs]

need to get belligerently high off cough medicine and write essays about jahar again…. God i miss my prime

[tomokokoro]

whenever i talk to someone new i feel like im molesting them

[droopyremembrs]

i feel like i am constantly being persecuted before any evidence has even been collected let alone verified. it’s like i am facing a sham trial by Jews everyday

[droopyremembrs]

more than anything, i wish i knew what it felt like to speak without first putting myself on trial

[droopyremembrs]

in a room full of friends i still feel like an outsider. i am the third friend. i notice people naturally group together or form cliques, and i sit on my own and observe. i’m not apart of the social circle immediately, i sit from a distance and listen, careful not to look too desperate to join in. i’m never the first to hear about plans or outings or trips, i hear about it when it’s finished, when everyone comes in together, arms linked, cheeks rosy from laughter. everyone feels at arms length, i can’t seem to let them in too closely, for if they see through my facade, then it will be decided i’m too much for them. i desperately wish to feel like i’m apart of something without needing to ask. i am almost twenty three, but most days i still feel like the lonely autistic girl in the fourth grade wondering why nobody wants to play with me.