So I haven't been on here in months and I made great progress in recovering. I've been clean a few months now, been eating heathy and working out, lost some weight and was happier and far more productive with my life than ever! But recently those bad thoughts are creeping back and I just need to rant. I feel so fat fat fat and gross and I can't even begin to understand why I'm allowing myself to get so fat! All that hard work in exercise and clean eating is out the window. I feel disgusted with myself and want to just starve but I know for a fact that it won't do anything for me. I'll lose a kilo or two for a week and gain it all right back. I just want to be 10 lbs lighter...I just don't know how to do it. My friend has been calling me every night with panic attacks and talking about how she wants to kill herself and I want to get her help because I talk to her and I'm there for her for hours and hours every week but I can't help her! I can't even help myself. And her bad thoughts are making mine come back. I want to be thin and skinny and the past few months I just ignored it. I lied to myself and told myself that being skinny won't solve my problems, that I'm pretty and sexy even when I'm just average weight, and not underweight...but this week I just can't seem to convince myself of that anymore. I don't know what to do.
annaxmalina
romaincrisis
dededos
janainaart
theartofmadeline
areudirty
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
gummygunk
