a lot of the independent horror produced by teenagers now is just the same basic bitch uncanny valley, high contrast high saturation, 'mario if he real', hollow eyes, tiny teeth, jumpscare bullshit
it has the structure of a rollercoaster where the payoff is always just "boo! did I scare you?" while using the platform of an already-established story to say "okay but like, what if that didn't happen and everyone was just sonic.exe"
trying to bed a knight like: *unbuttons your jupon* *unbuckles your cuirass* *unbuckles your gorget* *takes off your hauberk* *stops to catch my breath* *unbuttons your gambeson* *takes off your shirt*
composer!neku au design i did in november of '24 that i still kinda like. make neku even more emo than he is in 1, slap some angel wings on that bitch, and you got this
my wife insisted I post my stupid Jax character analysis from discord to here so I'm not going to put all that much effort into editing it
TADC Finale spoilers
lol
People can cry about it but the way Jax was handled was the best and only way a character with his kind of problem can be interpreted. As a cautionary tale that a) People who are victims can be fucked up and take out their insecurities onto others, b) That doesn't undo what they did or mean you have to forgive them, c) Even if you have noble intentions, if you're not the right person for the job, you can't force someone to open up to you. Good intentions, bad timing, poor execution.
The rise of therapy speak and people trying to take it upon themselves to "fix" people has led people to get upset WITH THE VICTIMS because they don't react in the way the person trying to reach out wants them to. Jax has trust issues, Ribbit tried to get him to open up at a stage where he wasn't ready to open up, his confession was premature and it left Jax feeling naked and exposed.
THAT HAPPENS. He relapses because as much as he likes her and wants to trust her, the trauma response that he says IN THE VERY SAME CONVERSATION where he opens up is "My mom laughed at me and then hugged me". It's right fucking there, people disarm him, laugh at him, and then try to act like it didn't happen. That fear of not knowing how people really feel about him is what's fucking with him. It got him hurt once already.
By the time he registers the pain he's inflicted onto others it's already too late and he would rather everyone hate him, because at least then he can predict and "be in control" of the way people perceive him. It's self-destructive. This is "that friend you want to help and reach out to but nothing you say works and it leaves you feeling impotent, frustrated and resentful towards them". If it makes you uncomfortable, congrats. That's mental illness.
People only seem to be patient with people w/ depression who bedrot because "AT LEAST THEY'RE NICE" which is such a fucking cowardly stance. That's only one perspective. Does it make you uncomfortable? Fuck you, this could be you
Jax lacked the language to tell people "I have issues I am not ready to talk about, and the fact that you're so insistent on finding out about them is rubbing me the wrong way" in a way that fit his facade of control.
Ribbit lacked the patience and hindsight to understand that Jax wasn't withholding information out of malice, but because it was THAT personal. The facade worked as intended, she thought nothing really bothered him. That 's the fucking point. There are stages of trust and Ribbit assumed she had cleared the stage where Jax would be comfortable with talking about his personal life.
She thought she was a 7 on the friend scale when in reality she was a 5.
Did Jax lead her on? Most definitely. There was no way for her to anticipate how bad his problems were and how deeply rooted they were. Her initial reaction wasn't to think "Oh he's repressing his emotions" because she had already assumed he was comfortable when he wasn't. This isn't a demerit for her, this is just how people are. People's organic response to situations like this is to take people's words at face value. The logical thing is "If you have a problem then you'll tell me because that's what I'd do." Do you see where I'm going with this?
For a generation that is so used to drop people like anvils at the first sight of discomfort I can see why a lot of people's initial reactions to Jax is to have a fucking panic attack. But I think people should really pay attention to the real point of his character. The idea of being so insecure about how you are perceived that you would literally sabotage yourself to push people away from getting closer to you. That you could be trying to do the right thing for someone you care about and it still ends up with them isolating, hurting themselves and you because you did it prematurely.
Also I know me saying "this is the only way you this character could be interpreted" I mean he was already ruined before Episode 1 started. He had already reached the Learned Helplessness stage of his trauma where he preferred the ways things were to Pomni slowly unraveling everyone. By the time she found out the truth, it was already too late to fix him. The hindsight she needed to be able to level with him did not come to her naturally and everyone else was already so repulsed by him he has lost the benefit of the doubt.
The tragedy lies in the fact that Pomni arrived too late. Any growth and development that could have happened did too late. Jax's attempts to distance himself from everyone else worked and none of them can bring themselves to care. Pomni was fresh to the circus and was able to sift through the bullshit a lot better.
A weaker series would've had Jax become normal again and go "Im sorry everyone" and they all forgive him.
Instead the forgiveness is ambiguous. You as the viewer don't know for sure if any of them, even with context, will ever forgive him. They can, but they don't have to.
Some people dream about the ability to have a sandbox where they are able to exercise their agency and "be their true selves". Jax was given that. And after misjudging someone that had good intentions, he isolated inward and became the worst version of himself. He chose to do that.
Here's the thing about talking about agency with someone that is very deeply emotionally scarred: it fucking sucks.
You are not your trauma, but your trauma heavily influences your choices and how you carry yourself. Not everyone has the tools to fucking psychoanalyze themselves and compartmentalize their situation like a psychopath. Being mentally compromised and how you function while in that state of mind looks different for everyone.
Living the rest of your amazing digital eternity as the monster from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream is not a good ending for him. It's what he deserves.
I'm not hung up on the idea that Jax is some innocent little bitch you need to be more considerate of, bro is a grown ass man with maladaptive coping mechanisms. But it really feels like people are losing the forest for the trees. Jax is an instrument to the larger story about people being more honest with themselves as, well, the guy who refused to.
people get instant gratification from anything. I saw someone go "if that onion ring I'm picking up" and they got $5000000000 and a handjob. what the hell. If i said it again but louder I'd get put on a list.
people get instant gratification from anything. I saw someone go "if that onion ring I'm picking up" and they got $5000000000 and a handjob. what the hell. If i said it again but louder I'd get put on a list.
i have this unrealistic fantasy in my head where if you calmly and logically explain something to someone perfectly they will understand your position and gain knowledge from the exchange. unfortunately in the real world this does not happen often
Have some recent stuff, the first one is of my OC Axl! He's now in a TWEWY AU! (has been for awhile actually) I also decided to take some time to draw noise Rhyme! I actually have the fully colored and rendered Rhyme noise pictured below up on my shop as a keychain, button, and sticker. Definitely gonna have to get samples. I just finished another design involving her that I'm so excited to put up! I'll post about it when I can!
