Sexy Murder Clowns

she/her. Trans. Queer. Vaguely Jew-ish. Rakdos-Marduist. Older than you think.

[toweringclam]

Indefinite hiatus is now definite: I will resume my classpecting and other writing in July, which is fitting since that's one year since I joined the Homestuck fandom. I feel the writing bug coming back, but I'm gonna be really busy until then.

In the meantime, check out my classpecting masterpost.

[toweringclam]

My favorite episodes of Miraculous are the ones where Hawk Moth is clearly having an off day. When he can't seem to find a target, or the akuma goes to a baby instead of the gorilla man, or when he chooses a real dud of an Akuma who won't listen to him or whose powers end up about as threatening as a limp noodle. Like damn man, you need to take a vacation. You are clearly not bringing your A-game to this.

[sarksarkos]

Hawk Moth doesn't know what powers a supervillain will have if he hasn't akumatized that person before, but he DOES know that a good 2/3 of his targets get akumatized because of that bitch Chloé Bourgeois and will just fire off evil butterflies at random whenever the episode is focused on her.

[toweringclam]

[necromancelena]

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

the crazy thing about this is that it took one single word to turn it horny. coulda been a normal cute post. coulda taken the high road & conjured a delightful image of a mouse scampering down the bar with a beer ten times its size balanced on its head. but you had to say "mousegirl" and not "mouse." don't pretend this isn't what's going on either i know the score i know what's up. i'm familiar with this sort of semantic trick. you want to fuck down on an anime girl with certain characteristics of a rodent and everyone's gotta know.

[basileater]

>10 hours ago

>deactivated

[agave]

[faelapis]

btw, just so its said - i think the roaring knight is dess. i feel like most other theories exist because people have gotten bored with the most 'obvious' answer lol. but its the one that makes the most narrative sense.

[toweringclam]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the myth of "Tricky Tony" persists because theorists are trying to figure out a mystery box when the toy is already fully assembled under the tree. It's playing 4-dimensional chess against Moriarty when they're actually playing checkers with a dog. Incredibly obvious foreshadowing is dismissed as a red herring, the most simple answers are ignored in favor of the most shocking and dramatic twists. Deltarune is just too straightforward and sincere for those with terminal Theory Brain.

[toweringclam]

My favorite episodes of Miraculous are the ones where Hawk Moth is clearly having an off day. When he can't seem to find a target, or the akuma goes to a baby instead of the gorilla man, or when he chooses a real dud of an Akuma who won't listen to him or whose powers end up about as threatening as a limp noodle. Like damn man, you need to take a vacation. You are clearly not bringing your A-game to this.

[swan2swan]

You can never truly understand the importance of bread and grain to human civilization until you take the biggest, thickest bite of sandwich you can find and there is one (1) tiny patch of mold that you apparently failed to trim from the bun, and your taste buds immediately scream "CONTROL! CONTROL! THE GRAIN IS BAD! THE GRAIN IS INFESTED! REPEAT! THE GRAIN HAS BEEN COMPROMISED!"

[plague-vulture]

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

[sarksarkos]

Genuinely love how Ladybug episodes will have descriptions like "Ladybug has to fight Steve, who is now Evil Steve." Have we met? Do I know Steve from work?

[toweringclam]

Turns out Steve is a background character with a completely generic appearance who has appeared in like half the episodes without any attention being drawn to him at all and also he's the parent of one of Marinette's classmates.

[roadhogsbigbelly]

the reason "robot racism" is often a really stupid metaphor is the same reason that like. discrimination against demons or vampires or whatever doesn't work, is because there's often a pretty justified reasons humans are scared of vampires or robots or whatever, in a way that doesn't apply to real life minorities, like a fantasy author will be like "the reason vampires are discriminated against is because most of them and kill and eat people for fun and pleasure, and so humans respond by trying to kill them, isn't that so sad" and like no that's a perfectly fine reason to not trust vampires i think.

[roadhogsbigbelly]

sci-fi writers will be like "every robot on earth randomly decided to kill all humans for no real reason, and now people don't trust robots, and this is a metaphor for racism" and like no you just wrote a metaphor for white people actually.

[fishing-princess]

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

[aliceoverzero]

The first tags I see on this are absolutely inspired. Incredible pervert lesbian website.

[toweringclam]

Nice PFP

[lickingandsuckingchristmascoins]

come over

[trangoldin]

American diet and "healthy living" culture is insane and runs DEEP

[jennamoran]

who the heck is eating dice, cards, and pool

[aniseandspearmint]

WHAT is the first one supposed to be? It looks like 'piecing between meals' to me, but that can't be what it says, right?

[prfury-lavaca]

It does in fact say “piecing between meals” and it refers to snacking

[prokopetz]

I'm more struck by the fact that the progression set forth here implies that laudanum and cocaine are less concerning that spicing your food.

[jelloapocalypse]

"Professor Harold Hill warned me about all this..."

[yay-bunnies-world]

woaaaah woaaaaaah thats weird whaaaaaat the 2 secret bosses that are directly compared to kris by the narrative both have trans coding? and the transmasc coded one represents a fall into failure, tradition, and misogyny while the transfem one represents finding oneself and learning to make peace with your body and mind? whaaaaat who saw that coming.....

[yay-bunnies-world]

spamton literally tries to steal transfem-coded kris' soul btw. this is about as subtle as animal farm

[selene1311-f]

... transandrophobic reading of deltarune was NOT on my bingo card, gross

Also Kris is nonbinary dipshit, literally never connected to a binary gender once; if you want a transfem reading for a character, Ralsei is literally right there wearing a dress and being a princess.

... I could piss you off and point out transmasc Susie would also really track...

[yay-bunnies-world]

stating that transfems cant be nonbinary, are we?

[selene1311-f]

In what possible way; we both know you don't think of nonbinary people. Why do you want to assign masculinity or femininity to an agender character?

[yay-bunnies-world]

I said that Kris is transfem-coded. You said that Kris is nonbinary to refute this. ∴ You believe that non-binarity is a refutation of transfemininity.

[selene1311-f]

It is if the character is agender with no gender coded expression whatsoever. You just want to assign a binary.

[yay-bunnies-world]

Mancountry

Mancountry is a hidden location in TV World. This area is where Kris obtains the Egg in Chapter 3.

Mannequin

The Mannequin is an armor that first appears in Chapter 2 of Deltarune.

[selene1311-f]

To be transfem specifically, you gotta actually express femininity as preferred to masculinity; a nonbinary person is not transfem just for being 'AMAB,' that's not how this works.

[breeonrye]

Girl, transfem and transmasc describe a person's relationship to their CASAB. Transition exists within our social context, a CAMAB enby and a CAFAB enby face different systemic barriers based on their coercive assignment regardless of their presentation.

A masc presenting CAMAB enby is still transfem and a femme presenting CAFAB enby is still transmasc. We're talking about structural relationships, not vibes.

That's how this works.

[selene1311-f]

You have no right to speculate about a nonbinary person's "starting point." Don't fucking do it.

[breeonrye]

We're not even. Fictional characters aren't people, they're narrative devices. They're meant to be analyzed and interpreted within the context of the work they're in and the context in which the work was made.

[selene1311-f]

You not being normal about nonbinary characters and insisting on seeking out a binary element to their gender is weird and creepy, and real nonbinary people can see you do it. Just be normal ffs

[rosey-thorns]

hey im nonbinary and im transfem and i think this is important analysis of a story. you just dont want transfem people to exist

[selene1311-f]

Hey I'm nonbinary and transfem and literally in a relationship with three transfem people. This is transmed bullshit, stop forcing nonbinary people into binaries. Get bent.

Swear to god if yall get more annoying I'm gonna start using annoying assholes to advertise my fics again.

[k4ss10p314]

Hey genuine questions

Do NB characters have to exist completely divorced from any gender binary or is there value in a story exploring a NB character's feelings for their assigned gender and how it has impacted them?

And if the later: does a text have to have the NB character outright state said feelings or is the text allowed to be more sub-textual on this?

[selene1311-f]

A story is allowed to explore it, but this one does not; there is not subtext to back it, the character has made no relevant statements on the matter, and the creator of the game has not hinted anything about it. It's just wishful thinking on the part of some of the community's worst people.

[k4ss10p314]

Doesn't yay-bunnies provide examples of the subtext earlier in the thread? (And is it possible that two different people have two different interpretations of the same text passage with both interpretations being reasonable?)

Also the author hinting x y or z should not be the primary focus of literary analysis and so the absence of hints is negligible.

And who made a claim / theory / analysis also doesn't matter. Only whether the claim can support itself determines its validity. Also yay-bunnies isn't a bad person nor a bad part of the community.

[selene1311-f]

yay-bunnies is a notoriously terrible person, and this isn't being done benignly.

[k4ss10p314]

And who made a claim / theory / analysis also doesn't matter. Only whether the claim can support itself determines its validity.

Do you agree that two people can have different interpretations of the same text that are both valid?

And do you agree that yay-bunnies provided examples for the transfem kris interpretation?

[selene1311-f]

I do not agree in this circumstance. Kris, Frisk, and Chara are the most well known agender characters probably in existence; any other reading is invalid unless absolutely insurmountable evidence is given. In this case, there is zero valid evidence whatsoever; yay-bunnies did NOT provide valid examples.

[yay-bunnies-world]

THE FUCKING MANNEQUIN DRESS THAT ONLY KRIS CAN WEAR oml

[teashoesandhair]

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

[toweringclam]

Steven Seagull

[sarksarkos]

Superman ‘62: Robot Racism

Action Comics #292 seems like the kind of story we’ve seen a million times before. The supervillain is on trial for a crime they didn’t commit and the only one who sees fit to give them a proper hearing is their most hated enemy, spurred to defend their nemesis by their all-consuming moral spirit. This is not that story. Welcome to the Gutters!

This Luthor story begins as they all do, with Superman’s baldest foe making a clever escape from prison with a device he cobbled together from literal trash. Back in the Silver Age, it was Luthor’s natural state to be imprisoned, as this was before he had the protections afforded to him by right of being a tech billionaire. Luthor flees to his secret lair hidden in his private museum, and we get a brief look into his self-consciously evil conception of himself. Despite Superman and Supergirl having time traveled into the past for unimportant reasons, Luthor still finds it necessary to flee not just Metropolis, but the entire planet. He blasts off in his private rocket built into a giant statue. Just like Doctor Evil. We used to have real supervillainy in this country.

Despite a Superman android pursuing him, Luthor manages to escape to another star system using the kind of casual faster-than-light travel you get in these comics. Once there, a robot apparently made out of tinkertoys tries to take his gun, and Lex blasts it to pieces because fuck them robots. Once two big muscle dudes show up, Lex submits to them, expecting to get a slap on the wrist because nobody cares about a broken robot. Once Lex gets to civilization, he discovers that the robots - called “Automs” - are actually sentient, and they’re going to arrest him for murder. This is when Superman shows up, having decided that all of space is his jurisdiction, and decides to act as Luthor’s defense attorney.

Now, there’s several problems with the setup here. One, most obviously, Superman is not a lawyer, having neither been to law school nor passed the bar exam in any relevant jurisdiction on earth or space and as such is not competent to represent any third party in a court of law. But then there wouldn’t be a story. Two, the Automs are completely willing to disregard Luthor’s human rights, demanding that Superman pass intelligence tests to even prove worthy of having a trial. Superman therefore is well within his own rights to claim that this court has no jurisdiction over Luthor, and then fly both of them back to Earth. But then there wouldn’t be a story. Three, Superman is only participating in this whole farce of a trial because it’s not a crime to kill a robot on Earth. This still isn’t a story, but it is a rant!

Obviously, killing an android isn’t a crime on Earth. Androids aren’t sentient beings, even in the DC Universe (until Red Tornado shows up). If they were, it would be a crime to kill them. Automs on this planet are clearly sentient. We’ve all had enough experience with LLMs to be able to tell the difference between a sentient being and an AI chatbot, and these Automs, though they look like castoffs from the lowest-budget season of Doctor Who, which still hadn’t come out yet, are evidently able to think and reason and form a civilization and a body of laws. They’re sentient enough to create another race of androids to be their menial labor and still think themselves a just and fair society! And yet, Superman, mister truth and justice, is completely willing to disregard their personhood because they don’t fit into his personal definition of a person.

The Automs have video footage of Luthor killing that guy, so there’s no way for Superman to argue the crime away. Instead, Superman goes for the bold strategy of proving that the murder victim was never murdered. He does this by gathering up the corpse of the Autom, putting the brain of the Superman robot from earlier inside, and then reprogramming the resulting automaton to believe that he is the dead Autom. I’m going to say that again in lifeform-neutral terms. Superman took the corpse of a murder victim, put the brain of a different corpse in the body, and then brainwashed the resulting homunculus into thinking that it had never been killed.

WHAT.

This is absolutely psychotic behavior. This is something I would consider too depraved for the fucking Joker. The only reason it’s acceptable is because Superman told us that he doesn’t consider what he’s doing to be a crime because it doesn’t involve any fleshy meat organs. Superman is totally willing to engage with ethical systems outside of his own, and that means the story isn’t interested in exploring any of the ideas it presents. This is kind of like a Star Trek episode that sets up an interesting philosophical dilemma, only for Captain Kirk to go “fuck this” and phaser everyone he sees at the end of the first act.

Superman leaves Luthor stranded on the planet of the Automs, until he escapes in the issue after next, Action Comics #294. That story is itself inessential, but it has some fun moments like Superman’s statues of Luthor pre- and post-baldness, implying that the loss of hair is what made him the enemy of humanity. The real kicker comes when the Autom that Superman Frankensteined together sacrifices itself to save Superman’s life, and Superman starts waxing poetic about how it gave up its life for him. I guess only the good robots who do as their Kryptonian masters order them get to be real people. This planet deserved to die.

Between these two issues came Action Comics #293, which was one of the more pleasantly surprising stories in the Silver Age canon. It starts with a random Red Kryptonite encounter that splits Superman into two people - Superman, who has all the powers and abilities of a Kryptionian, and Clark Kent who is a normal human who wears glasses. There are the expected hijinks, but it quickly becomes a deep and even introspective examination of who Superman is as a character and a person. Superman - the half Superman - has all his powers, but that’s all he has. He doesn’t have any of Clark Kent’s memories or experiences, and is essentially a blank slate let loose on the world. The very first thing he does with his raw, untethered id is to make out with Lois Lane, carve her likeness into the side of a mountain, and then fuck up the disaster recovery operations because ha has no idea what he’s doing. He then follows it up by increasing the speed of the Earth’s rotation, crashing the economy by mining literal tons of gold, and sealing Supergirl and Krypto in the Phantom Zone when he thinks they can stop his fun.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent, the world’s most ordinary man, is trying to fight back against the single most powerful being on planet earth with all the resources of an office worker in good shape for his age. Having stalled Superman by claiming that if one of them dies, the other goes with them, but every other time he tries to do something, he makes the mistake of saying his plans out loud around a man whose super-senses border on omniscience. Everything Clark tries gets foiled by Superman, until he’s left tied to the globe of Krypton in the Fortress of Solitude.

This is — as far as I can tell — the first time that Clark and Superman were physically split into two people, and while it’s not as great as the scene from Superman III, it’s still a pivotal work in the examination of Superman/Clark Kent/Kal-El as a person. A lot of comics in the Silver Age will treat Clark Kent as a convenient disguise for Superman to wear, a tool to be used and discarded, but this comic shows that Clark Kent is everything that makes Superman who he is. The story emphasizes this by having Clark be the one to call upon his Kryptonian heritage for aid, and in the end he has his victory over Superman by taking advantage of his existence as a blank slate. Superman couldn’t conceive of the limitations of his powers, but Clark was able to work within his limitations and come out on top. The strongest man in the world has nothing to fear but the underdog. Until next time.

[kaylmao]

op must have been on meatloaf and mashed potatoes when they posted this

[mschelle]

Well hot damn if it wasn't enough for this loser to throw a public tantrum now he's going out of his way to follow predestrogen on other platforms and start harassing her there!!! You can't hide these Matt I got the screenshots lol!!!!!!

HE'S BLATANTLY LYING OUT OF HIS ASS!! SPREAD IT AROUND!! And also since she seems to be from Ireland even though I don't even know shit about eu laws from what little I do know this is a big violation of GDPR and should be reported as such!! https://commission.europa.eu/law/law-topic/data-protection/reform/rights-citizens/redress/what-should-i-do-if-i-think-my-personal-data-protection-rights-havent-been-respected_en

[creatureofthecornfield]

@photomatt should kill himself.

[fleshengine]

I genuinely hope this circulates forever.

[troutreznor]

https://blinkies.cafe

[infestuous]

this post really attracted the lamest people in the fucking world