I know it's your summer break, but as official coffee club beat reporter, what's your take on the day?
Let me give you a little trick of the trade ;)
The potential for gossip is formulaic. I’ve mentioned the CC’s rating system before. 1 = loser, 10 = queen fuckin bee. So, you may expect that the higher your score, the more interested the school will be in that happens to you (your potential to become gossip fodder). Not true.
Imagine the scores as points on an x-axis. The y-axis represents gossip potential. Now, imagine a parabola. The kids with the highest and lowest scores have the most potential, while the people with medial scores...do not have much. That’s because the people at the highest and lowest points are polarizing. You probably love to hate (or, potentially, hate to love [guilty pleasure, much?]) them. Obviously we all want to be in the know about the high scorers. As for the lower scorers, would you rather hear gossip about a fucking nobody, or the class freak? I’ll wait.
Of course, there are a lot more factors, such as if the gossip is about something good or bad happening, because those have different effects across the popularity scoring scale. Usually, bad news is more likely to be exciting.
So now that you’ve learned Gossip 101, unit 1, let’s break down today’s news. Mack is a one. Meaning, people don’t think highly of him, but he certainly has a reputation (because boi is always walking into things like a god damned bird, among many other reasons). So, there was a lot of potential for gossip when he went to that party, because that was directly contradictory to his score. But this? Getting beat up is absolutely par for the course with him, and it happened pretty early on in the summer, at a different school. It’s mostly interesting because of the police involvement, and because Hunter is a grade below us. Overall, I would say that as of this moment, this is not likely to cause a stir at [REDACTED].
The gossip potential can increase as more details come to light. We’ll have to see how the rest of this saga unfolds and resolves. I’ll reassess my calculations at a later point.
Thank you for asking, and you’re welcome for this insider look at the CC. Consider this an exclusive.
titsay
2087
turnnoffyourmind
theartofmadeline