* operaticflair
People thought that because he was some star, someone who spent his time gallivanting around the globe and performing in front of hundreds of thousands of people, that he was a playboy, liked having a different man or woman every night of the week. Gideon honestly wasn’t sure how they’d gotten to that conclusion, off stage, he was shy and sweet, magnanimous with his money, and a fierce ally both for the LGBT and Jewish communities. Yes, he liked going out and dancing at clubs full of sweaty people and thick, bumping bass lines, but dancing was mostly just that, it never led to anything. But he’d never hidden himself in the closet, growing up in the theatre, in the music world, there were enough gays and bisexuals and folks who eschewed labels like they were allergic. He’d never been told it was a problem until somewhere in high school when he tried to ask out a friend and got called a faggot. He hid his true desires for a year or so, until doing so hurt more.
Something about Johnny reminded him of his friend Philip. He’d been a club kid, one who danced with all the guys until one day, he stopped showing up. He managed to track him down and found Philip’s face marred with bruises, and it took everything Gideon had not to find who had done this and rip his head from his shoulders. It was that timidness that became Philip’s normal that he saw in Johnny, and that was why he was slow, careful, and didn’t push. It was worth it, too, because Johnny was wonderful.
A soft smile stays on his lips, “You didn’t try, Johnny, you succeeded in starting, and you just haven’t finished. I’m sure what you have so far is just as beautiful, and will only get more beautiful when you’re done.”
His ears perk up at the thought of Japanese food, “Yes, I know which one you’re talking about.” When Johnny says he should pick, he’s careful when he reaches out to take one of the man’s hands in his own. “I don’t have to, you already did, Johnny. Let’s go get some Japanese food.”
The crush on Gideon had been almost instant --- standing there in the cafe, their eyes had met and Gideon had paid for his drink, had acted so kindly for no specific reason. His mother, if she were alive, probably would have smiled and called it fate. Johnny spent days repeating their conversation in his head --- twisted and turned in his bed at the thought of Gideon's voice and face. The man was cute. So cute that it had stunned Johnny, made his stutter that much worse. It was terrible, at first; Johnny didn't know how to be friends with someone who was so wonderfully his type ( his type having been a mystery until Gideon smiled his way into his life ) but he wanted to try. His initial reaction was shame. Old habits were hard to break and his attraction to men had a way of making him feel filthy, making him feel broken. He hated himself for it --- in his teens he lashed out in any way he could. Fights were a regular occurrence and he still held a few scars on his hands as a result. He'd fought. He'd drank. Making friends was hard for him while he was the quiet kid in the corner of the room but it became even harder when he was the guy willing to throw a punch when someone looked at him wrong.
All of it changed when his mother got sick. Johnny stopped drinking altogether, leading to less fights. He bogged himself down with several jobs and took care of her when he wasn't working or getting a few hours of sleep. She'd been proud of him, then. He'd straightened himself out and it was good --- it was wonderful. Right up until it wasn't. Until the events that lead him to several months of jail time. That, and having Shultz in the same cellblock, had caused a downward spiral that he was thankful to be out of.
Now Johnny sells succulents and flowers. Now he paints. Now he has an ad in the paper to call him when people need odd jobs done. Sometimes he's fixing vacuum cleaners. Sometimes he spends the day fighting with plumbing. It's nice. It's quieter, even if he does miss his mother terribly.
Now Johnny is in therapy --- and progress is being made. Dating, actually being with someone --- a man, was a sign of that. Working through his internalized homophobia was difficult but it leads to such happiness, he couldn't wait to talk about Gideon at every chance he got. Something in Johnny lit up whenever Gideon was around him --- that shy boy in the oversized sweater was able to smile, to be himself for the first time in years.
Hands come together and Johnny's heart skips a beat and then flutters wildly. He nods, that tucked-back hair coming free again. "O-Okay. Okay, yeah." It's a good thing, he reminds himself --- going out, being social. Spending time with is significant other, even in public. There was nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to stop them from enjoying the night, from enjoying each other.
