Whoa, this thing needs a title.

30s! | Shy SnzKnk Tumblr | She/Her | NeuroSpicy | 18+ (minors DNI plz)

[duckyduckduckling]

TW: Loss.

My big old cat crossed the rainbow bridge today. I know it was time, but I'm still so sad.

I know y'all don't know me, but if you could spare some good vibes this way, I would appreciate it.

[duckyduckduckling]

I've been playing a new cozy game that's got me thinking all kinds of things about supernatural beings (vampires, werewolves, witches, seers).

- Vampires being sensitive to garlic- but instead of burning and killing, sends them into fits of sneezing.

- A seer so busy helping others with their problems he doesn't foresee the rainstorm he gets caught in, or the cold he's going to catch after.

- A seer whose visions "act up" at certain points in the lunar calendar, making their senses hyper sensitive.

More to come, I'm sure.

[duckyduckduckling]

So apparently the Vanillas have a headcanon of S/hane being allergic to fucking everything. For some reason they always have the best ideas.

We all need some s/hallergies in our lives.

[duckyduckduckling]

Saw someone on reddit say that they are so badly photic that the reflection of light off a white sheet hanging out to dry is enough to set them off sneezing.

I never knew I needed this, but all of a sudden all of my comfort characters have this. And line dry their laundry (I've been informed this isn't as common as it is in Australia).

[duckyduckduckling]

Not snz. Just a fun thought.

L/uca is standing with the team at morning practice one day when L/aPointe skates up to him eagerly.

"I had an idea."

"Sounds dangerous," I/lya smirks.

L/aPointe ignores him and continues on.

"You know how you wear glasses off ice? Well I was thinking. You're a great player, but don't you think you would be even better if you could see what's happening?"

And that's how they learn that L/aPointe has no idea that H/aas wears contacts, and had always just assumed he was playing blind.

[duckyduckduckling]

I love spicy-food induced sneezes.

I need H/arris deciding to do a H/ot O/nes type promo for the C/entaurs. B/ood, S/hane, and maybe D/ykstra (the only ones with any degree of spice tolerance) are all killing it, while I/lya, H/ayes, T/roy and H/ass are all in varying degrees of spicy, sneezy hell.

H/arris is trying to decide how much sneezing and tears and mess it takes to make footage unusable, and clean up his now-puddle of a boyfriend.

[duckyduckduckling]

My current hyperfixation is constructing dissertation level whump, sickness and sneeze headcanons. I have an entire folder. All of my comfort characters of all of my comfort fandoms that will likely never see the light of day.

It's good to know that my extended leave and significant anxiety has done something productive 🫠

[duckyduckduckling]

I feel like L/uca H/aas has some sort of dietary thing going on, but i haven't figured out what.

Almost none of the C/entaurs have noticed because there is no way he would draw attention to something that could Inconvenience Others unless it became necessary.

The only people who notice straight off the bat are H/ayes, who sees everything, and I/lya, who is used to sharing meals with S/hane. At first they assume he's just picky, but the more they observe, the more there seems to be a method to it.

Is he a vegetarian? Food allergies? Coeliac? Type 1 diabetic?

Whatever it is, once they figure it out, suddenly B/ood is making sure there's stuff for him at barbecues, and they become pros at finding things on menus that he can have. I/lya gets into an argument with the M/LH event organisers, because what do you mean you invite him to be rookie of the year but he's eating his Emergency Granola Bar in the lobby because there's nothing he can eat?

L/uca is both grateful and mortified.

[duckyduckduckling]

Thinking about K/yle S/wift sneezing while working at the K/ingfisher.

Specifically that in the series K/ip and E/lena always go "thank you, K/yle" in that singsongy voice.

But imagine it's Spring in NYC, K/yle is behind the bar and MISERABLE. And he loves K/ip and E/lena, but if he hears "bless you, K/yle!", in that same singsongy tone one more time he's going to throw them out or have an absolute meltdown.

[minteacutie]

Shane whose a bit under the weather and having trouble sleeping trying so hard to keep his sneezes quiet because he doesn't want to wake Ilya.

[duckyduckduckling]

Not snz but snz adjacent

I know we all love burnout-in-progress S/hane, but I actually think he might be a bit more well-adjusted than that when it comes to his health, sickness and rest, and is used to having parents and friends (R/ose, Ha/yden and Ja/ckie) actually care about his wellbeing.

When he’s in the hospital, I know he’s drugged up to the eyeballs, but he’s pretty reasonable about the fact that even though he’s benched for the playoffs, it could be worse.

I think he might actually be a decent patient to take care of.

Meanwhile I/lya is grew up in a “Take a spoonful of cement and harden up” mentality, where sickness meant you were weak, lazy, a loser, and losers don’t survive.

It makes him a monster to take care of. If he can stand, he can play. He plays on injuries. He practices until he’s fever delirious and sick from dehydration. He’s narrowly avoided a case of rhabdo on more than one occasion.

When S/hane tries to look after him, encourage him to rest, or worries after him, it triggers his fight-or-flight and makes him cagey, defensive and anxious.

[duckyduckduckling]

To add to this.

S/hane is really good at looking after a sick I/lya. He knows The Rules of caring for sick people. He’s got a nice balance of home remedies and traditional medicine, and is warm and kind and caring. I/lya doesn’t know how to take it, and is a general menace, which frustrates S/hane because he’s breaking The Rules. He ends up calling his parents for backup.

I/lya (at least when they first start dating for real) has no idea what he’s doing looking after a sick S/hane, because his only scope of reference is TV shows, and trying to remember what S/hane did for him last time. Shane is so good natured and kind about it even when he messes up, which makes I/lya even more nervous that he’s doing it Wrong and that S/hane is too nice to say so. He ends up calling S/hane’s parents as backup.

Meanwhile someone at D/avid’s work makes a comment about kids being an 18-year commitment, and is like, “??? My thirty-year-old son in law called me yesterday to ask what to do for a bee sting. It never truly ends”.

[duckyduckduckling]

Not snz but snz adjacent

I know we all love burnout-in-progress S/hane, but I actually think he might be a bit more well-adjusted than that when it comes to his health, sickness and rest, and is used to having parents and friends (R/ose, Ha/yden and Ja/ckie) actually care about his wellbeing.

When he’s in the hospital, I know he’s drugged up to the eyeballs, but he’s pretty reasonable about the fact that even though he’s benched for the playoffs, it could be worse.

I think he might actually be a decent patient to take care of.

Meanwhile I/lya is grew up in a “Take a spoonful of cement and harden up” mentality, where sickness meant you were weak, lazy, a loser, and losers don’t survive.

It makes him a monster to take care of. If he can stand, he can play. He plays on injuries. He practices until he’s fever delirious and sick from dehydration. He’s narrowly avoided a case of rhabdo on more than one occasion.

When S/hane tries to look after him, encourage him to rest, or worries after him, it triggers his fight-or-flight and makes him cagey, defensive and anxious.

[duckyduckduckling]

I fear that In/terview With The V/ampire S2E3 canonising vampires with allergies may have changed me as a person. I apologise in advance for who I am becoming.

[duckyduckduckling]

Adding onto my recent post, I have compiled an extremely incomplete list of men with moustaches, who, by the power vested in me by sneezblr, now have terrible allergies.

> The entire cast of hea/ted riva/lry during playoff seasons, and R/yan Pr/ice year round.

> Ryl/and G/race

> Dr. Ro/bbie

> P/resent M/ic

> M/ycroft H/omes (the Y/oung S/herlock version)

> E/liot S/pencer

> E/ddie D/iaz during his moustache era

Feel free to add to this list as you see fit.

[duckyduckduckling]

I just read that moustachioed men tend to have worse allergies because their facial hair acts as a pollen trap, and it got me thinking.

Playoff beards are A Thing. The Playoffs start in April-ish and run until June-ish.

Playoff beards + allergy season + up to three months of endless travel and away games = the sniffliest of hockey players of choice.

[minteacutie]

Okay fun HR thought

I know everyone's on the bandwagon of Shane stifling his sneezes or just not having particularly loud sneezes. Instead, I suggest Shane "Always in control of his body" Hollander actually has a really loud sneeze. No one knows, though, because there hasn't been a reason for it to come up, he doesn't have any notable allergies during Hockey season, and he's got a decent enough immune system. Until maybe there are some flowers he doesn't recognize at a charity event that have his nose buzzing, or perhaps a cold making its rounds around the team he fails to avoid. Like, can you imagine him trying so hard not to sneeze, because it's just such a mortifying affair, and battling with his need to be in control of himself? So anyway that's my idea, let me know if anyone likes it?

[minteacutie]

Morning reblog now with even more thoughts. Now imagine Shane with like the worst mental block when it comes to sneezing. Like he's always working so hard to not sneeze, it's always a pain in the ass when he actually wants to sneeze. His nose is just so itchy, practically buzzing to the point that it's making his eyes water. Then cue a concerned Ilya, who, witnessing this for the first time, thinks Shane is actually crying. Then, when his boyfriend can actually get a word out to explain that's not the case, he does everything in his power to help his boyfriend get over this mental block.

[duckyduckduckling]

I love this.

I also am kind of into the idea that he /can/ stifle his sneezes - but it is always 100% a mistake.

Like he gets it in his head to stifle through an interview or a photo op to not make a spectacle of himself only to set himself up for an absolute fit later in the locker room. All encompassing, uncontrollably loud and violent, double digit fits that have P/ike worried he's going to pass out.

#I love it when something breaks his control

[sleepysoftsnz]

You know Shane Hollander haaaates early spring when it’s still cold/flu season and his allergies are just starting to act up because how is he supposed to tell if he’s sick or if it’s the pollen getting to him?? All he knows is that something is suddenly Vaguely Wrong all the time.

[duckyduckduckling]