Duff Meowkagan

My name is Kayla. This blog is basically just random shit now. I don't know how to describe it anymore.

[babyanimalgifs]

[harvard-dad-deactivated20180911]

The worst part about parallel parking is the witnesses

[thyrell]

no witnesses if youre bad enough at parallel parking

[nightinngales]

bruh…

[prime89]

Wait, if their names are puns on their power, then Violet is ultraviolet which is invisible to the human eye.

[freshest-tittymilk]

SHUT UP.

[earlploddington-deactivated2019]

13 years

[advanced-procrastination]

Y'all are gonna flip your shit when i tell you about Dash

[okaymad]

[duff-meowkagan]

This has to be a repost. No way someone from IU could come up with something that clever. They can't even pronounce 'Achilles'.

[c3rvida3]

Do you guys want to hear a really good idea I have for a production of Hamlet?

[crowsstars]

Heck yeah

[c3rvida3]

[nathaniel5-deactivated20240708]

*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*

[tastefullyoffensive]

[ugh-ihavetheruns]

looks delicious

[saddest-cat-hours]

[eilowyn1]

[fuglyselfie]

“how would your friends describe you?”

[i-am-a-fish]

Anybody got somethin to boost my strength stat and mana bar?

[borbobobobo-deactivated20220507]

I’ve got this orange peel.

[i-am-a-fish]

+2 FOCUS

+1 HP

*HAIR HAS BEEN DYED ORANGE*

Thanks! Anyone else got anything?

[sn-otty-deactivated20171128]

yes.

[i-am-a-fish]

-20 CHARISMA

-8 FOCUS

+3 RAGE

hey that wasn’t helpful at all

[novmain-deactivated20191123]

I’ve got some candy :vvv

[i-am-a-fish]

+11 STAMINA

+45 ENERGY

+10 HP

+3 MANA

Much better! Thank you!! Anyone else have something to give?

[blue-ultramarine]

yeah

[i-am-a-fish]

+3 GOLD

Thank you so much! Does anyone have some kind of weapon? Still gotta boost that power stat

[kayoi1234]

I lopped it off a dead tree. Appreciate it. 

[i-am-a-fish]

+1 ATK

I DO appreciate it! Thanks everyone!!

Now I’m back to the quest!

[fuck-customers]

Stabbed by anime titties

It’s Black Friday, my second day back to work from school leave, though only for a few days since I still have finals. I’m in pain, I have an injured leg and I’ve been sweeping and climbing stairs for the past six hours. My boss tells me to clean up some popcorn outside (after dark), so I do, and I find what looks like a keychain on the ground, so I pick it up, since bringing lost items to the lost and found is part of my job. As I pick it up, two things happen at once. 1. I realize the pink keychain is a giant pair of disembodied anime breasts, and 2. It’s not attached to a key. It’s actually attached to a fish hook, which stabs me in the finger. I pull it out of my finger and manage to accidentally stab myself again in the process. I showed my boss and she just had me throw it away, and wash my hands well, and didn’t fill out an incident report. Though if I end up getting hepatitis or something from it, I’m suing. When this posts, I’ll add my own terrible artistic rendering of the item in question, since I didn’t get a photo of it.

[werevampiwolf]

Here’s my artistic re-creation of the item.

[duff-meowkagan]

I think you should quit your job and become a graphic designer.

[duff-meowkagan]

I swear. Every time I have a conversation with my friend in the comments some fucking rando has to put their two cents in. Like you have no idea what you're talking about. You can't just butt into our conversation and understand what we're saying. People think they know everything.

[theonion]

Editorial Cartoon: “Holiday Bizarre”

[duff-meowkagan]

It took me forever to get this until I saw who posted it

[just-shower-thoughts]

For one day only, on December 31, 2017, every adult in the world will have been born in the 1900s and every minor will have been born in the 2000s.

[destinyrush]

[drew-ihd]

A famous internet assassination

[duff-meowkagan]

Also bacon is disgusting. Also why would Muslims care about a picture of bacon since a lot of them have probably never had it? They don’t know what it tastes like so they literally don’t know what they’re missing. Which is not much, might I add.

[sarahseeandersen]

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Sarah Andersen