.bernmendoza

food travel and maybe a sunset

[kushandwisdom]

♥

[d0pefashi0n]

[kushandwisdom]

[allhomemade]

[duh-sheep]

It's horrible but I'm glad you stopped talking. I was about to fall in love with you.

[duh-sheep]

It's silly because if you tried, I swear I'd probably agree so easily. So, so easily.

[duh-sheep]

T: Naginvest rin siya ng marami sa'yo. Time, money, emotions etc. Kung ikaw mag invest ka sa stocks ng malaki. Tinutukan mo day in, day out. Tas biglang bagsak si stocks. Ano maffeel mo. Maddown ka rin naman.

B: SERYOSO BA YAAAAAAAAAN

T: Itutuloy ko analogy ko ah? Diba bumagsak si stocks? Mag iinvest ka ba ulit the very next day after bumagsak yung stocks? Siyempre ipapa appreciate mo muna ng onti. So dahan dahan lang. Awkward talaga ganyan. Bigyan mo lang ng oras.

[duh-sheep]

Pio: Ate, ate!

Me: How was your test!

Pio: (stops) ... A-ate?

Me: Yes? How was your test!

Pio: It was fine. I answered my test correctly! I used your trick!

Me: Good!

Pael: Ate, are you on drugs?

Me: (rolls eyes) No.

Pael: (Quiet voice) I know. Are you okay?

Me: Maybe tomorrow.

[duh-sheep]

When the Brother Knows

Brother: You look tired.

Brother: LS was draining?

Me: Yes.

Brother: Are you sick?

Me: No.

Brother: Are you crying?

Me: A little.

Brother: What's wrong?

Me: I don't want to talk about it.

Brother: (without skipping a beat) He's not worth it. You're graduating in a few weeks. Enjoy it. Let him go.

[s-t-y-l-e-t-s]

[duh-sheep]

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

[duh-sheep]

FUCK. NOT NOW, BERN. FOCUS ON YOUR FUCKING PART.

[duh-sheep]

Probably the next time, I'll try harder.

[duh-sheep]

15 Minutes

I wrote before about how I wanted 10 minutes more to spend in a city I found to love. You see, in ten minutes, you're able to have yourself absorb all else that's happening. Or at least that what I thought I would've been able to do. I threw around "maybe later"s and "I'll do that tomorrow"s like I had all the time in the world. But I didn't. And I don't. And now I'm in a similar situation trying to understand how I got here.

Hi.

Here I am. Here in my bed underneath the covers. I should probably be doing something else, anything else, but I'm guessing I should get this out of the way.

We've done this before, haven't we? It feels like a dance that we've practically memorized from beginning to end. Each step calculated, each step not the least bit surprising. I became, as you said, predictable. When you said it the first time, I smiled. I smiled because it meant that you may actually be starting to know me; quirks and all. But now that I think about it, that should've been a red flag -- we were just going around in circles.

Don't get me wrong, the friendship, regardless of what came after, was beautiful -- it is beautiful. The memories of the non-stop laughing and the comfort in the silence in the car -- my favorites. The little inside jokes and not-so-secrets we shared placed in my pocket ready to be pulled out in case of any emergency.

So why did it stop? I've back tracked so many times that I tell myself to stop living in the past and instead start accepting what's in front of me -- that there is a void. And that's okay! Because we're two different people, and that's what we've always been anyway. But who can blame me for still wanting an answer?

My theory is simple, really. We had our 15 minutes and now they're over. Everything ends. It just depends on when and how and where and who did what. But everything ends. We had our 15 minutes, no matter how short. We had them, and now it's time to just watch the moments slip further and further away into the black hole of our history.

[babyanimalposts]

[block]

[duh-sheep]

Gusto mo tulungan pa kita eh.