BOOK I OF AGES PART PAST @dukebookman - Tumblr Blog

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way Namor should be able to fly. His wings are too small to get his muscular body off the ground. Namor, of course, flies anyway, because Namor doesn’t care what humans think is impossible.

fakecomicplots

Avengers 2 (1963)

(cover by Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers)

After defeating Loki, Thor, Hulk, Ant-Man, the Wasp, and Iron Man all go get shawarma at Tony’s suggestion.

Iron Man suggests they form a team in case Loki or another villain threatens the planet.

Thor says, “Nah. I can protect yon Midgard.”

Hulk says he’s strongest, doesn’t need weak tin man’s help.

Ant-Man and Wasp say they’re in, and Iron Man sighs.

Little do they know…a strange phantom lurks nearby, invisible to our heroes’ eyes. This phantom comes from a planet far away —he’s a Space Phantom if you will — and he’s here to find out if Earth has any powerful beings that could defend against an invasion. He must stop these heroes from forming a team.SP would try to possess Iron Man but the man wears a suit of accursed metal, his species’s weakness. So he possesses the Hulk and smacks Iron Man through the restaurant’s wall out into the streets.

They all try to stop Hulk, who in addition to his strength seems to be exhibiting strange new powers like telekinesis and neon energy beams. Not only that, but he’s speaking in a different dialect, calling humans “Earthlings.” Wasp intuits that something must be controlling Hulk and Ant-Man improvises, hacking into his ant controlling helmet to determine yes there’s a force controlling the Hulk.

Wasp says, “I know, I said that.” They both shrink down and attack the Hulk’s eyes, since eyes are the window to the soul. This temporarily blinds the Hulk, which blinds the Space Phantom by proxy. Thor gives Hulk / SP a huge wack on the head, and Hulk / SP goes reeling.

Dazed and blind, the Space Phantom goes to leave Hulk’s body and possess Thor instead, but he doesn’t realize that Iron Man has moved in to attack and is now where Thor was. When SP’s spectral form comes in contact with Iron Man’s metal armor there’s a bright flash of light, a puff of smoke, and SP is no more.

“Well that was weird,” Iron Man says, “anyway see what I mean? This stuffs going to keep happening, we’re better off as a team.”

“Forsooth, verily. I agree,” Thor says, “you have convinced me of yon argument. The son of Odin will join thou.” He looks over at the Hulk, recovering from the possession. “What about you, green giant? Will you join our ranks?”

Hulk, still confused by the possession bit, is aggressively noncommittal on the whole thing.

“Alright, well that’s 4 members and a maybe,” Iron Man says, “that’s a start.”

“But what should we name ourselves?” Wasp asks.

Everyone stands around, dumfounded. It did not occur to any of the men that things have names.

Hulk, still catching up, asks “Where is ghost man? No one controls Hulk and gets away with it.”

Thor offers, “If you ever find this ghost man, Thor will help avenge you, my friend.”

“Boom!” Wasp says, “Got it. Avengers!”

Everyone shrugs and nods, and the Avengers are born.

forfuckssakejim

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

bshmatthews

fakecomicplots

Avengers 1 (1963)

Loki shows up in NYC. “Bah, humans. My brother Thor loves them but I will kill them all.” He looks at a dude and turns his hat into snakes. “Bah. Lol.”

Thor shows up. “Stop that, um, I mean, thou shalt stop it.”

Loki refuses. Also, he’s brought along the Elder Feather, which he’s stolen from a vault.

Loki uses the Elder Feather to summon someone strong enough to beat Thor. It’s the Hulk! However, the plan backfires and Hulk and Thor team up against Loki. Loki teleports away.

Now in his Ice Tower, Loki uses the Feather again and summons Iron Man and Ant-Man and the Wasp to help him beat Hulk and Thor. He lies and tells them that Hulk and Thor are going to destroy America.

Loki faces off with Thor while the rest fight the Hulk. But when Loki summons a bunch of trolls to fight Thor, Wasp realizes that Loki must be the evil one. They all team up to beat Loki.

THE END

dukebookman

This is me. I wrote this. I’m back on Tumblr.

#comics #comic books #fakecomicplots

nimblesnotebook-blog

Myths, Creatures, and Folklore

Want to create a religion for your fictional world? Here are some references and resources!

General:

General Folklore

Various Folktales

Heroes

Weather Folklore

Trees in Mythology

Animals in Mythology

Birds in Mythology

Flowers in Mythology

Fruit in Mythology

Plants in Mythology

Folktales from Around the World

Africa:

Egyptian Mythology

African Mythology

More African Mythology

Egyptian Gods and Goddesses

The Gods of Africa

Even More African Mythology

West African Mythology

All About African Mythology

African Mythical Creatures

Gods and Goddesses

The Americas:

Aztec Mythology

Haitian Mythology

Inca Mythology

Maya Mythology

Native American Mythology

More Inca Mythology

More Native American Mythology

South American Mythical Creatures

North American Mythical Creatures

Aztec Gods and Goddesses

Asia:

Chinese Mythology

Hindu Mythology

Japanese Mythology

Korean Mythology

More Japanese Mythology

Chinese and Japanese Mythical Creatures

Indian Mythical Creatures

Chinese Gods and Goddesses

Hindu Gods and Goddesses

Korean Gods and Goddesses

Europe:

Basque Mythology

Celtic Mythology

Etruscan Mythology

Greek Mythology

Latvian Mythology

Norse Mythology

Roman Mythology

Arthurian Legends

Bestiary

Celtic Gods and Goddesses

Gods and Goddesses of the Celtic Lands

Finnish Mythology

Celtic Mythical Creatures

Gods and Goddesses

Middle East:

Islamic Mythology

Judaic Mythology

Mesopotamian Mythology

Persian Mythology

Middle Eastern Mythical Creatures

Oceania:

Aboriginal Mythology

Polynesian Mythology

More Polynesian Mythology

Mythology of the Polynesian Islands

Melanesian Mythology

Massive Polynesian Mythology Post

Maori Mythical Creatures

Hawaiian Gods and Goddesses

Hawaiian Goddesses

Gods and Goddesses

Creating a Fantasy Religion:

Creating Part 1

Creating Part 2

Creating Part 3

Creating Part 4

Fantasy Religion Design Guide

Using Religion in Fantasy

Religion in Fantasy

Creating Fantasy Worlds

Beliefs in Fantasy

Some superstitions:

nimblesnotebook-blog

Here, I have some more:

Africa:

Ancient Egypt: the Mythology

Egyptian Gods

Legendary Monsters of Africa

The Americas:

Aztec Mythology

Incan Mythology

Haitian Mythology

Mayan Mythology

Asia:

Chinese Mythology

Japanese Mythology

Korean Mythology

Hindu Mythology

Japanese Folklore and Mythology

Chinese Mythology

Europe:

Encyclopedia of Greek Mythology

The Olympians

Women in Greek Myths

Greek Mythology

More Greek Mythology

Even More Greek Mythology

Greek/Roman Mythology

Germanic Myths, Legends, and Sagas

Norse Mythology

The Muse

Creepy Irish Creatures

Irish Folklore

Norse Mythology

Arthurian Mythology

Celtic Mythology

Latvian Mythology

Norse Gods, Goddesses, and More

A Celtic Pantheon

Welsh Gods and Goddesses

Celtic Deities

Werewolf Legends from Germany

Welsh Deities

Celtic Gods and Goddesses

Oceanic:

Australian Mythology

Polynesian Mythology

General:

Ancient Myth and Magic

Massive List of Mythological Creatures

Mythical Creatures

Hairy Hominids

Cryptozoology

Mysterious Beings, Monsters, and Creatures

Amulets and Good Luck Charms A - Z

Modern Monsters

Myths and Legends

Folklore and Mythology (2)

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BOOK I OF AGES PART PAST