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@dumbdumbsofnewyork-blog
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York,
Holy shit on a zika virus covered stick, you have officially brought us back from the dead with your ultimate douchery, you hose swallowing creep...
Love,
NYC
P.S. - nice white sock covered cankles...
scenario - E Train @ Penn Station...of course...
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York,
It was sweet of you to point the lost couple in front of you to the Flushing bound 7 train, but then the sounds started...clip...clip...clip...clip. Followed by more clip...clip...clip...clip. It was obvious what was happening, but nobody ever wants to believe that someone is actually clipping their FUCKING nails in public, you repulsive uncle fucker...
Love,
NYC
scenario - Queensboro Plaza
Dear Dumb-Dumbs of New York,
There’s no doubt the two of you despise each other, and there’s also a good chance you’re kissin’ cousins, but that is NO excuse to make the rest of us despise you, you inconsiderate inbred fucksticks...
Love,
NYC
scenario - Manhattan bound N train
(photo submitted by DDNY reader RP)
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York,
Not sure what’s more obnoxious...clipping your nails or painting your nails on the train? We’ll tell you, you repulsive human cum dumpster...BOTH deserve the death penalty. Now, do us all a favor, and take your $1.99 purse, your 99 cent nail polish, your 49 cent weave, and FUCK OFF ALL DAY LONG, you stinky hairy potato...
Love,
NYC
scenario - Manhattan bound N train
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York,
First of all, you suck...like, MAJORLY blow. Second, your posture is HIDEOUS. Third, the poor lady standing next to you with an handful of groceries should have slammed them into your fat face for manspreading on a crowded train. Finally, Halloween was MONTHS ago, so let’s stop with the orange and black ensemble, ya giant bloated rotting pumpkin...
Love,
NYC
scenario - crowded E train to Manhattan
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York,
Um...where/why the HELL were you carrying that thing, and since when does a LAPtop require anything more than a LAP?? Nice try, Dick Breath!
Love,
NYC
scenario - obviously a train from Queens
(photo submitted by DDNY reader, PC)
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York,
Taking up three seats without lying down is impressive. Perhaps you should have opened your “my luxe comforter,” spread it out along an ENTIRE row of seats, wrapped yourself snuggly in its warm embrace, then doused it with gasoline, and finally set it on fire...quickly cooking you to a crispy well done.
Happy New Year, Fucktard!!
Love,
NYC
scenario - Gift Return Express to Doucheville
(photo submitted by DDNY reader, KS)
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York, We understand it's cold, and you're tired, but BITCH, you ain't homeless...just so lazy and inconsiderate that we all wanna slap your mother across her stupid face, because she didn't raise you right, ya long-ass pubic hair on the rim of a dirty toilet... Love, NYC scenario - rush hour...enough said... (photo submitted by DDNY reader, JA)
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York, Wanted to snap a photo of you LICKING the frosting off the top if your Reese's Peanut Butter Square, while waiting for your Orange Colatta, but was afraid you'd pull out a machete and hack me to pieces, ya candy corny scatnest... Love, NYC scenario - early morning run at Dunkin Donuts...
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York, While we applaud your decision to eat fruit for breakfast (instead of what we assume is typically a large pizza), confusion set in when you tossed your banana peel onto the seat next to you, then looked down at it with disgust (kinda like you had no clue who left it there), and then brushed the poor thing onto the floor. News flash, dickslime...you're a pig, you 5' piece of shit... Love, NYC scenario - angry blogger heading to work on a Saturday...again...
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York, Smoking is NONE of the following - sexy, cool, or glamorous... Smoking IS the following - illegal on MTA property, and we hope your fellow bench mates are calling the subway police... YOU are the following - white trash, repulsive, and dying with every breath of that cancer stick, you gothic retard... Love, NYC P.S. - you look like you're having a stroke (photo submitted by DDNY reader, PC)
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York, "Hey guy (in the curious George jacket), who woke up a kid who was sleeping in that same seat to move over so you could sit down (and followed with "what you didn't have your coffee this morning?", ps the kid was like 10!!!), and then when the kid got off a couple stops later, you moved to the same seat doing the same thing as the sleeping child, but you read your newspaper never looking up, AND placed your bag on the seat next to you, making it unavailable when people were loading the full morning bus...yeah, you...great job as Jabba the Hut in Return of the Jedi, you fat, slimy, fucktard..." Love, NYC (photo and edited story provided by DDNY reader, KS)
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York, Open mouth chewing AND bubble blowing on the subway is vomit-inducing disgusting. Screaming while running to the next subway car is a typical reaction, but a photo was DESPERATELY needed, you fucking ebola wart on the ass of humanity... Love, NYC scenario - angry Queens bound E train...
Dear Dumb-Dumbs of New York, Please close your eyes (both of them, you turd lickers) and picture this...EVERYONE WITH A BRAIN ROLLING THEIR EYES AT YOU FOR POSTING THIS NONSENSE, YOU SPERM BURPING DUMPSTER DIVERS... Love, NYC scenario - millions of people pointing and laughing at you...
Dear Dumb-Dumbs of New York, Not only did you and your two stroller family block the doors on the N train, but one of your stroller riding kids was EASILY 12 years old...make that lazy turd walk!! All of you should be smacked across the face, ya cock smoking jizz buckets... Love, NYC scenario - packed Manhattan bound N train on a gorgeous Saturday morning...
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York, We can look beyond you cursing under your breath while level 1 Sudoku was stumping your dumb ass, but we can't forgive the fact that level 1 manners are absent during rush hour, you evil little fat fuck... Love, NYC scenario - Queens bound, rush hour, E train...
Dear Dumb-Dumb of New York, It took everything in my power NOT to drop a giant elbow on top of your selfish empty cranium. TWO passengers asked you to remove your bag to make room, one even snapped in your stupid FACE, and you couldn't be bothered, you repulsive asswart... Love, NYC scenario - early morning Manhattan bound N train...