alright. it’s new years and i have a lot to say, so i think i’ll be breaking it into multiple posts by topic. i just really want to get this out, and whether or not it goes over well, i won’t be sure. but i can at least say i am steadfast in writing this and mean every part of it.
the rpc is extremely toxic. maybe it’s because i’ve chosen to look at this hobby as more than just roleplaying, or maybe it’s the way i’ve grown as a person in what i’m more aware of, or maybe it’s how the rpc’s entire focal point has shifted. it’s probably all three, seeing how things have changed as the years have gone by.
i won’t lie. i’ve made call outs, i’ve name dropped people, and i’ve sent asks. i will preface this by saying i’ve never sent anonymous hate, i’ve always tried to be at best transparent in all i do, and i never truly wanted to hurt anyone. but i still did, because y’know at the end of the day, i think that it’s impossible not to.
i don’t want anyone taking this the wrong way, as a way to justify and excuse negligent or toxic behaviors. i don’t want those i’ve called out in the past or future to point at this post and go “ well you went and said blah blah ” because no. i don’t regret doing what i did, but i do sincerely apologize for while i called out those on malicious behaviors, i was sarcastic, i was passive aggressive, i did so out of less and less a need to truly confront those with their behaviors and warn others and more of a way to feel like i “ fit in ” and that... rush you get, which i’m disgusted with myself for. which again, does not excuse those of your behaviors, but i do apologize that i didn’t do these things for the only, singularly, right reason.
i think it happens to everyone, though. we find someone doing something that’s “bad”, and it just... gets out of hand. and trust me, i’m not making this post to point fingers, because this is something i’ve seen in myself, and i want to make a change in at least with my own life. but it gets out of hand, we dig around and find more receipts to back us up, we go to others, and it just gets so bad that by the time the person is actually being properly talked to their entire experience on this website is tarnished and ruined.
i think people get vilified. and no, i’m not sympathizing with homophobes or pedophiles, and i’m sure as hell not excusing them, because what we need to understand is that real life ideals and those we write online are different, and i’m ashamed to admit i’ve flirted with that line of calling people out on what they write. ( this does not include pedophilia, for this is against the law to write, draw, and create in any kind of media. ) but i do feel ashamed because i’ve policed others in what they write when i turn around and am fine writing or discussing plot points that include similar topics. then there are those who are genuinely malicious, like those who are actively homophobic, racist, ect. but that’s not the same as writing these things, and if you do so it needs to be done in a healthy manner. you use disclaimers, you tag simply for blacklisting, and... that’s it. a lot of people need to realize their media intake is also their responsibility. blacklist what you don’t want to see, but know that in today’s day and age it’s... hard to not be constantly criticized for a lot of what you do, and it’s easy to fall into the pit of doing it to others.
and it’s difficult to remember when you’re so into drama that these are real people. i try to hold onto that: i try to be transparent, and i try to treat them like the human beings they are with but these flaws, because they have lives. they have friends. i know i’ve had toxic behaviors in the past, but i was ignorant and i was a child, and people grow and learn just i know i have.
it’s not a “mob mentality” or a “hivemind”. these are grossly inapt terms and more so used as a weak defense to make yourself sound better and almost akin to playing a victim card. but i have found myself jumping in when there’s blood in the water because i wanted to support my friends and not be seen questioning them, if in... the weirdest of ways? not because i’m intimidated, or i genuinely don’t think the behaviors they’re pointing at me ( or ones i find on my own ! ) are bad, but because... i want to be liked. and that disgusts me. but i don’t think i’m the only one.
i think... it’s like a bit of a bandwagon, at some point. and once you start, it’s a hard slope to climb out of. i’ve had two breakdowns because of online drama, and it’s ridiculous, and i wasn’t even the person in the center of the problem! it stresses me out to no degree, because i while my argument is just and valid, is my reason for doing so? and what right do i have to judge someone for writing what they want? ( again, i’m not saying it’s good or bad. but the extent i’ve seen this policing go? as long as they’re doing it healthily and it’s not against the law to write, as disgusting as it may be with things like rape or incest or murder - which is a topic often glossed over for it’s romanticization and normality in today’s world - there’s no other place to explore it, and it shouldn’t be demonized if it’s done right. people have that right. you can dislike them, you can unfollow and block, but... yeah. it’s your responsibility to monitor your media intake, not others to bend to your wants and wills. )
it’s stressful and... this just needs to be said, because i feel like no one else is going to. so in 2019? count me out for the petty drama, the policing, the stuff people have genuine right to. if it’s gross, it’s gross, but i won’t demonize someone for doing what’s within their legal rights so long as it doesn’t break the law or impede upon the rights of another being. i hope you guys understand because this? this just... needed to be said. thanks, and happy new years!
vaporwave
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janainaart
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germansingergirl
2087
jacobvanloon
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dailybridgerton
