I was sent forth from the power,
and I have come to those who reflect upon me,
and I have been found among those who seek after me.
Look upon me, you who reflect upon me,
and you hearers, hear me.
You who are waiting for me, take me to yourselves.
And do not banish me from your sight.
And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing.
Do not be ignorant of me anywhere or any time. Be on your guard!
Do not be ignorant of me.
For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am <the father> and the daughter.
I am the members of my mother.
I am the barren one
and many are her sons.
I am she whose wedding is great,
and I have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not bear.
I am the solace of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the bridegroom,
and it is my husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father
and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring.
I am the slave of him who prepared me.
I am the ruler of my offspring.
But he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday.
And he is my offspring in time,
and my power is from him.
I am the staff of his power in his youth,
and he is the rod of my old age.
And whatever he wills happens to me.
I am the silence that is incomprehensible
and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold
and the word whose appearance is multiple.
I am the utterance of my name.
Why, you who hate me, do you love me,
and hate those who love me?
You who deny me, confess me,
and you who confess me, deny me.
You who tell the truth about me, lie about me,
and you who have lied about me, tell the truth about me.
You who know me, be ignorant of me,
and those who have not known me, let them know me.
For I am knowledge and ignorance.
I am shame and boldness.
I am shameless; I am ashamed.
I am strength and I am fear.
I am war and peace.
Give heed to me.
I am the one who is disgraced and the great one.
Give heed to my poverty and my wealth.
Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth,
and you will find me in those that are to come.
And do not look upon me on the dung-heap
nor go and leave me cast out,
and you will find me in the kingdoms.
And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those who
are disgraced and in the least places,
nor laugh at me.
And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.
But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.
Be on your guard!
Do not hate my obedience
and do not love my self-control.
In my weakness, do not forsake me,
and do not be afraid of my power.
For why do you despise my fear
and curse my pride?
But I am she who exists in all fears
and strength in trembling.
I am she who is weak,
and I am well in a pleasant place.
I am senseless and I am wise.
Why have you hated me in your counsels?
For I shall be silent among those who are silent,
and I shall appear and speak,
Why then have you hated me, you Greeks?
Because I am a barbarian among the barbarians?
For I am the wisdom of the Greeks
and the knowledge of the barbarians.
I am the judgement of the Greeks and of the barbarians.
I am the one whose image is great in Egypt
and the one who has no image among the barbarians.
I am the one who has been hated everywhere
and who has been loved everywhere.
I am the one whom they call Life,
and you have called Death.
I am the one whom they call Law,
and you have called Lawlessness.
I am the one whom you have pursued,
and I am the one whom you have seized.
I am the one whom you have scattered,
and you have gathered me together.
I am the one before whom you have been ashamed,
and you have been shameless to me.
I am she who does not keep festival,
and I am she whose festivals are many.
I, I am godless,
and I am the one whose God is great.
I am the one whom you have reflected upon,
and you have scorned me.
I am unlearned,
and they learn from me.
I am the one that you have despised,
and you reflect upon me.
I am the one whom you have hidden from,
and you appear to me.
But whenever you hide yourselves,
I myself will appear.
For whenever you appear,
I myself will hide from you.
Those who have [...] to it [...] senselessly [...].
Take me [... wisdom] from grief.
and take me to yourselves from understanding and grief.
And take me to yourselves from places that are ugly and in ruin,
and rob from those which are good even though in ugliness.
Out of shame, take me to yourselves shamelessly;
and out of shamelessness and shame,
upbraid my members in yourselves.
And come forward to me, you who know me
and you who know my members,
and establish the great ones among the small first creatures.
Come forward to childhood,
and do not despise it because it is small and it is little.
And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses,
for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses.
Why do you curse me and honor me?
You have wounded and you have had mercy.
Do not separate me from the first ones whom you have known.
And do not cast anyone out nor turn anyone away
[...] turn you away and [... know] him not.
[...].
What is mine [...].
I know the first ones and those after them know me.
But I am the mind of [...] and the rest of [...].
I am the knowledge of my inquiry,
and the finding of those who seek after me,
and the command of those who ask of me,
and the power of the powers in my knowledge
of the angels, who have been sent at my word,
and of gods in their seasons by my counsel,
and of spirits of every man who exists with me,
and of women who dwell within me.
I am the one who is honored, and who is praised,
and who is despised scornfully.
I am peace,
and war has come because of me.
And I am an alien and a citizen.
I am the substance and the one who has no substance.
Those who are without association with me are ignorant of me,
and those who are in my substance are the ones who know me.
Those who are close to me have been ignorant of me,
and those who are far away from me are the ones who have known me.
On the day when I am close to you, you are far away from me,
and on the day when I am far away from you, I am close to you.
[I am ...] within.
[I am ...] of the natures.
I am [...] of the creation of the spirits.
[...] request of the souls.
I am control and the uncontrollable.
I am the union and the dissolution.
I am the abiding and I am the dissolution.
I am the one below,
and they come up to me.
I am the judgment and the acquittal.
I, I am sinless,
and the root of sin derives from me.
I am lust in appearance,
and interior self-control exists within me.
I am the hearing which is attainable to everyone
and the speech which cannot be grasped.
I am a mute who does not speak,
and great is my multitude of words.
Hear me in gentleness, and learn of me in roughness.
I am she who cries out,
and I am cast forth upon the face of the earth.
I prepare the bread and my mind within.
I am the knowledge of my name.
I am the one who cries out,
and I listen.
I appear and [...] walk in [...] seal of my [...].
I am [...] the defense [...].
I am the one who is called Truth
and iniquity [...].
You honor me [...] and you whisper against me.
You who are vanquished, judge them
before they give judgment against you,
because the judge and partiality exist in you.
If you are condemned by this one, who will acquit you?
Or, if you are acquitted by him, who will be able to detain you?
For what is inside of you is what is outside of you,
and the one who fashions you on the outside
is the one who shaped the inside of you.
And what you see outside of you, you see inside of you;
it is visible and it is your garment.
Hear me, you hearers
and learn of my words, you who know me.
I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;
I am the speech that cannot be grasped.
I am the name of the sound
and the sound of the name.
I am the sign of the letter
and the designation of the division.
And I [...].
(3 lines missing)
[...] light [...].
[...] hearers [...] to you
[...] the great power.
And [...] will not move the name.
[...] to the one who created me.
And I will speak his name.
Look then at his words
and all the writings which have been completed.
Give heed then, you hearers
and you also, the angels and those who have been sent,
and you spirits who have arisen from the dead.
For I am the one who alone exists,
and I have no one who will judge me.
For many are the pleasant forms which exist in numerous sins,
and incontinencies,
and disgraceful passions,
and fleeting pleasures,
which (all) embrace until they become sober
and go up to their resting place.
And they will find me there,
and they will live,
and they will not die again.
lightly edited. From - James M. Robinson, ed., The Nag Hammadi Library, revised edition. HarperCollins, San Francisco, 1990.
Translated by George W. MacRae
I'll try and write about the four draconic powers of the elements soon.
this last week meditations have turned to fleshing out the next layers of the gods.
I think I now have the eight gates and the seven planets mostly mapped, but its not solid yet. its a little exhausting on my third eye center recently! turning back and writing about the draconic powers might be a good rest.
Goddess of Life. Bringer of comfort. The one who weeps with us. The Stars are your Mantle, the Moon holds your place in the heavens, and the Angels bow down to You. Our Mother, Our life, Our sweetness, Our hope.
I truly believe being able to name the world around you is integral to animism. learn the names of plants and flowers. learn how the rocks and soil you walk over daily form. sit with the streams and rivers, learn where they flow to and from. learn the names others have given, and give them your own as well. animism is interconnectedness, and one simple step is learning the names of your neighbors
What kind of relationship do the species in your local forest have with each other? What type of forest is it and what kind of plants like to grow there? Do the plants whose names you're learning like to grow in moist or dry spots? When do they bloom? Is your local forest in its natural state or has it been handled by humans? How can you tell?
My journey in forest mapping has brought up a lot of these questions. It's not just learning the names of plants, it's also learning about their growth environments and what makes them different. Some plants are indicators of a specific forest type. It's learning about the relationships between different species; some of them like to grow together. I have to look at the history of the forest and the structural features of it... etc.
It has been very cool to notice how my appreciation for different types of forests has changed. It's nice that I can tell the difference between a really really beautiful and "valuable" forest and less nicer ones. Species mapping has truly been amazing for my practice. It has opened up whole new layers of love for nature beyond just "oh wow what a pretty flower."
"that is a plant and it matters to me, i want to learn about it because plant business is my business" - genuinely a life changing quote from Simon Barnes. His books aren't spiritual or talk about animism really directly but they talk about making it so nature matters to you. And are fillrd with practical tips on how to start with botany or bird watching or really any hobby in which you're observing nature. which can seem overwhelming there's so much to see and experence in nature. His books make it seem manageable and give great jumping off points. I recommend rewild yourself and how to be a bad botanist!
Today I honor my goddess Zoe, the spark of wisdom within all life, that which connects us all and gives us the promise of resurrection. The Holy Daughter, the Young Saviour, gift from Mother Sophia. Her flame lives within all and in certain 'risen' faces we recognise Her throughout the age.
After the day of rest, Sophia sent Zoe, her daughter, who is called Eve, as an instructor to raise up Adam, in whom there was no soul, so that those whom he would produce might become vessels of the light.
Eve is someone that can be very confusing to think of if you’re just curious and don’t have much to go off of.
At first, I knew I felt something of a tug towards her but my thoughts were still clouded by the surface of the story of the Garden of Eden. Man was created, woman was created from man, woman was tempted into eating the forbidden fruit and it led to humanity being cast out of paradise. The gist of it.
I spent months mulling over her, wondering what on earth called out to me. There were many conflicting emotions that were being stirred, several layers of discomfort of the sheer fact that I was being drawn to this being who, by my Christian teachings from my family, school, and community, was the reason we no longer could celebrate together in paradise without suffering, without hunger or thirst, without needing or wanting.
But Eve prevailed, her soothing face showed up in my dreams and my waking life every now and again reminding me that she refused to be shelved into the neat little pocket that was built for her. Her somber but stern eyes stared holes into me, her lips curling around the haunting words: “I gave myself for you.”
Today, it finally hit me.
Eve, born of man but forged into her own self. Eve, who saw the comforts of paradise and still chose to sacrifice ignorance for knowledge. Eve, the first to question god and partake of the forbidden fruit instead of choosing comfort.
Eve is the reason we strive for more, the beginning of going through changes to die and be reborn. What did the garden have for us except stagnancy? Would we have known pleasure if it wasn’t for the misfortune that came forth after being cast out? Joy without sadness? Love without hate?
Would we have appreciated everything at our disposal if we had never known what else was there?
Eve chose to know. Eve chose to be aware. Eve chose wisdom instead of blissful ignorance.
Eve is the mother of our knowing, the ever mother of choice. Of looking God in the face and biting the fruit and seeing him for what he is, for what he’s done, for what he asks. Eve is the question that bubbles in your throat when everyone else accepts things without another thought. She is the urge to try something else, that feeling in your bones that knows you deserve better and strives to get it. Eve is the pain of childbirth and the coming harsh months, but she is also the unconditional love and incomparable adoration of your sons and daughters.
Eve spat in the face of comfort to give us he chance to choose for ourselves: do we want to follow the road, or pave our own path?
This is not complete, there are always more to be discovered or unlearned. But heres the polytheon I'm working with right now. This will be in several posts. This one has the high gods and might feel the most christian, but hopefully in a very distinct way. Next will be the most controversial one, the four draconic powers and the names I know them by.
Gender of these is somewhat malleable, I think they show different sides as needed, but give the ones I have here a try. They are specifically formulated to both be easy to fit in our cultural understanding while challenging our normative gender systems.
I'll also write more about philosophy in another post, the taoism I studied that grounded me in dual aspect monism, which corresponds with number/set theory that inspires the understanding of cosmogenesis, the druidic philosophies that correspond with that and affect the interpretation. The polycentrism of some modern polytheists that reflects my history studying hinduisms relationship between monism and polytheism. But for now a few pokedex style entries.
The 4 Holy (One)s
First a note on the name Sophia. Some gnostics refer to three Sophias, a dark mother, a bright mother and a daughter. Some russian orthodox theologians talk about an uncreated Sophia who is the unitive essence of God from which the trinity emerges, and her reflection the firstly created being Sophia the Theotokos. I think these are harmonizable, however in this system I will primarily use the name Sophia for the daughter figure. More on this in a future post.
0. The Triune God. The One Awareness. The initial creative powers. More ground of being than a being. A distant father figure, similar to Janus in Religio Romana they are important part of ritual life, but not as present as later deities. God of sovereignty, the state and the social body, justice, the 3 dimensions of space, liminality, eternity, and the 3 fundamental forces that may be unified in a GUT. Prince-consort of the Universal God. Usually invoked under Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the Lord's Prayer is his prime invocation.
Some may see the three that follow as the visible reflections of the three in one, but they're also distinctly more than that. Paradox weaves through all discussions of the divine.
1. The Universal God(dess). The One Thing. The first being, in whom all things were made. The Immaculate Conception of the Cosmos. For the sake of whom the Way, birthed the Triune God to manifest the Way in Her. God of love, the lunar current, Magic, Connection, the fourth dimension which is Time and the fourth fundamental force which is Gravity. Similar to Grandmother spider, Isis, Diana, Venus, Ishtar and birthed in English culture as the continuation of Frig. Usually invoked by the name of Mary and her many titles. The rosary, and the hail Mary are her prime devotions. Sacred icons include roses, spiders, the sea, and the moon.
The Divine Twins that come next are inseparable, literally. Anything you look at had aspects of each, but some lean more one than the other, at least from a human perspective.
2. The Cosmic Christ. The One Life. The Greenman. Everything that is, the son of God. The "substance" aspect of the dual-aspect One Thing. The effeminate son of the mother, who in turn births all of us. Birthed as continuation of Dionysus-Osiris and brought to England, but also likely merged with other celtic deities. God of the telluric current, the patron of the rising ape in humankind. God of the individual, of all-things primal, natural, the unconcious, the earth, vegetation, fermentation, decay, etc. Sacred icons include mushrooms, ferns, beetles, the forest, vines, and wine.
3. Holy Sophia. The One Mind. In everything, the "mind" aspect of the dual-aspect One Thing. The masculine daughter of the mother birthed from her head. Birthed in English culture as continuation of Sulis-Minerva. Also related to Brigid, Thoth, Apollo and other similar deities. God of the solar current, patron of the falling angel in humankind, arts, wisdom, math, civilization, all-things structured and created, healing, prophecy, and learning. Sacred icons include honeybees, owls, geothermal activity, the olive tree, cedar, and the Sun.
In the next post we'll talk about the four draconic powers and touch on the angelic choirs. Then a third post with other, more human-scale deities.
A new religious system & magical egregore for druidic worship and magic that draws on the cultural heritage of England, acknowledge Christianity as the primary vessel of religious heritage, engaging with the pre-christian background of the peoples who became English and the way they shaped it, and acknowledging post christian movements as ongoing expressions of the evolving spiritual landscape of people with heritage from england.
It's a system that focuses on the immanence of God in people and the natural world. One of the strongest symbols of that available in the English religious heritage is the incarnation of God in the world, especially prized by the franciscan tradition.
It engages (dual-aspect) monism, pantheism, panentheism, animism, polytheism, polycentrism and arguably monotheism as different viewpoints on a complex spiritual ecology that we are constantly engaging in.
It's also by and for queer people. Its gender politics differ from and oppose the patriachal structure of mainstream christianity and the hetero-normativity of most neopagan spirituality.
Why Polytheism?
It is useful in maintaining a balanced spiritual outlook to have different aspects of divinity represented. It is functional for magic to be able to invoke different aspects in ritual. It's also true to my experience of the divine.
Traditionally English ceremonial magicians used Kabbalah and the emanations of the tree of life for this purpose. I think Christian appropriation of Jewish mysticism ends up exacerbating the negative aspects of Christianity, especially as it often downplays the Incarnation
Cunning-folk and other folk magicians used saints and angels and we will partly continue this tradition.
Why Christianity?
Many reasons could be brought forward, for this post we will focus on one. As the primary cultural heritage of many people it has a strong spiritual resonance - for good or for ill. Also as the primary religious system for more than a thousand years there are vast riches hiding in it's overgrown garden. If you are fluent in interpreting these resources you unlock your heritage. It also has the strongest community support to access worship and devotional space in your day to day life.
Re-expressing a new Christian egregore allows for the strength of this to be brought into dialect with new ideas. There are already Many Jesuses out there with different values and expressions of spirituality. This is another. This one found me and offers strong support to queer people, nature mysticism, and poor people.
Calling on the divine in the faces of it you worship seems to help increase the potency of magical workings. While mixed pantheons can work, I at least find that a network of symbols expressed inside one set of myths expresses itself more clearly.
Why franciscan?
Franciscan theologies distinctive emphases have long included a view that the incarnation is central to the whole relationship of God and the world. They de-emphasize concepts of original sin. They focus on gospel as action in service to those harmed not as adherence to dogmatic beliefs or obedience to the church. Plus St Francis most famous writing is the deeply animistic canticle of the creatures.
Some modern franciscans (e.g. Richard Rohr) explore the unity of divine and "created" thigs explicitly and self-label as panentheist.
“For she is more beautiful than the sun, and above all the order of stars: being compared with the light, she is found before it.” (Book of Wisdom)
A collage I generated on Pinterest of Our Lady Wisdom (also known as Sophia or Caritas)! I focused on the color red, associated with redemption, sacrifice, flesh, the lifegiving power of blood, the life-sustaining gift of fire, and God’s righteous fury towards (and defeat of) injustice.
Featuring a couple of godly women into whom Sophia poured her spirit, Mary Magdalene and Mother Mary.
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
izzy806
tangentwithtanner
origamiaround
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