Adler

zodiac facts served with humor, sarcasm, and uncomfortable accuracy. it’s all fun, if you’re offended, blame your sign.

[duskmatic]

Earth signs x Fire signs 🔥

Capricorn: We need a serious plan for this weekend.

Leo: Yes, but it has to look fabulous.

Taurus: Can we just stay home and eat snacks?

Aries: No! Let’s do something insane right now!

Virgo: Actually, I’ve calculated the most efficient way to do all of that.

Sagittarius: Or… we could just wing it and call it adventure.

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Libra flirts with everyone

Scorpio notices everything

their relationship: silent investigations

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Scorpio: tell me the truth

Pisces: what if the truth hurts you

Scorpio: it will hurt more if you hide it

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Taurus loves comfort, routine, stability

Aries loves chaos, excitement, spontaneity

together: confused but attracted

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dating an aries as a taurus means your peace gets tested daily.

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Aquarius falls in love slowly.

Scorpio falls in love deeply.

Both fall apart quickly.

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Cancer: I need hugs.

Aries: Fine but you owe me kisses after.

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fire sign falling for water signs again… at this point it’s not love, it’s a curse.

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Virgo energy is wanting peace but also wanting things done correctly or else.

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Aquarius sun, Scorpio moon, and Pisces rising

Aquarius: i don’t need anyone

Scorpio moon: i need ONE person… but like, deeply

Pisces rising: and i’ll imagine our entire future

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Cancer with Gemini rising (and moon in Aquarius 🙈)

Cancer heart: i need love, safety, and reassurance

Gemini rising: let’s joke and avoid that conversation

Aquarius moon: feelings are… optional

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Sagittarius and cancer?

Sagittarius: disappears to “clear their mind”

Cancer: creates 17 emotional scenarios while waiting

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Aries + Virgo?

Virgo secretly admires Aries confidence

Aries secretly needs Virgo’s stability

neither will admit it first

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taurus and virgo?

Virgo falls in love by fixing your problems

Taurus falls in love by feeding you

together they accidentally become your parents

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I don't wanna know about my zodiac. Tell me something about yours.

I’m a Leo: I don't just enter a room, I become the reason everyone is glad they showed up.

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I thought Pisces cry when you raise your voice, turns out they cry after committing a felony.

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Aries x Pisces is just anger issues dating emotional damage.