Dusty Book Elf

She/Her Just ranting about books

[dusty-bookelf]

Nothing is going right and I’ve given up (for today) on making that happen.

Time to read about two grown men in capes who literally save the world being too stupid to realize they’re in love. As a treat.

[dusty-bookelf]

I can’t remember a single other book I read 6 years ago or even generally what was going on in my life but AFTG is still with me after three surgeries, two major depressive episodes, and a bachelors degree like wtf???

[dusty-bookelf]

Constantly thinking about this writing advice I saw forever ago (and cannot find) that said something like “you can’t describe a character’s experience by the absence of something because they don’t know it’s absent” and similar to the adage “you don’t know what you don’t know”

And how that concept (at least for me) applies to the asexual experience and having those questions of like “what is sexual attraction” and “how do I know if I feel it” and “am I actually not feeling something others feel or do I just relate to the description differently” and “what if I am feeling it, but inaccurate depictions in media have warped my perception of attraction?” And on and on

In my personal experience, it’s so hard to know for sure I don’t feel this thing when I don’t know for sure what that thing is supposed to be. Which in itself is validating because most allo people probably wouldn’t have to ask those questions, but the doubt still exists because I. Don’t. Know. And it’s hard to define an experience by the absence of another.

[dusty-bookelf]

What’s in a name?

The man this coach had researched so carefully wasn’t real and wouldn’t exist much longer.

Neil Josten getting to renounce his given name because his name alone does not dictate who he belongs to. Neil Josten getting to keep the identity the foxes found that no disguise could change. Neil Josten getting to chose to be Neil Josten because he doesn’t want to run, he wants to be a fox because he was they’re family and they were his and they’re worth every cut and bruise and scream.

That which we call a rose by any other name

I am Jean Moreau. My place is at Evermore.

Jean-Yves Moreau getting to reclaim his given name because who he is can’t be taken away. Jean-Yves Moreau getting to use his too pretentious name because the rules have changed. Jean-Yves Moreau getting to take back the name and the language that was stolen from him because fuck what he deserves, what about what he wants and he will chose Jeremy, and Cat, and Laila, every time.

Would smell as sweet

Andrew Minyard who chose the name that belonged to the brother he claimed he didn’t want and Renee Walker who was gifted a new name when she chose a new life and Jeremy Knox choosing Knox because he’s not a Wilshire but Knox doesn’t feel right either so maybe he’ll change it to something else.

What’s in a name?

Everything. When it’s the name, the identity, the life you chose for yourself and chose to fight for.

[m4rs-ex3]

it kills me that he has no idea how funny he is

[bigtittygothgirlandrew]

Cody losing it for Jean’s pronunciation of Jeremy’s name and then a second later trying to clock how whipped Jean is may genuinely be the highlight of the book tbh

[dusty-bookelf]

I think it’s funny how in AFTG like the joke is andreil coming out of nowhere to smack you in the face with “doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you” and then all the foxes are shocked in Baltimore that they’re together because the show the combined affection of an antisocial cactus

But in TSC, like everyone knows Jeremy and Jean are hot for each other. Even Lucas, who doesn’t really seem to like either of them. And they’re getting teased for it constantly. By everyone. Laila, Cat, Cody, William, I think Rhemann at one point, but they’re both like “I don’t have time to deal with all of that” then proceed to pine ridiculously and I respect them for that lol

[dusty-bookelf]

Jean Moreau 🤝 Jayce Talis

Using partner platonically but in such homoerotic contexts everyone thinks you’re gay

[abominablecreation]

kinda obsessed with the metacommentary in the golden raven

the fandom wanting to see the first red card for the trojans reflected in the public getting bored of the trojan’s pristine image and wanting to see their fall from grace. and in response to that jean starting to appreciate the trojans’ style during the game against bobcats and telling jeremy “we will do it your way”.

the fandom wanting jeremy to be imperfect and to snap for him to be interesting and in response jean telling jeremy “it makes you more interesting. not your capacity for unkindness, but how fiercely you fight against it”

[dusty-bookelf]

How much blood money do we think Neil spent on bribing the judge in Aaron’s trial? Or was it blackmail?

Like, I know we all think it’s very heartfelt that Aaron chose a single judge instead of a jury so Andrew wouldn’t have to testify to a bunch of strangers (and it is)

HOWEVER, Kevin said Andrew would burn the judge’s house if he “turned on Aaron,” like they had reason to believe he should be on their side to begin with…And it’s much easier to buy one man as opposed to a whole jury…Like if I had access to millions in blood money and ties to several mafias I may spend a little to keep my boyfriend’s brother out of jail, you know?

[dusty-bookelf]

Absolutely hilarious that Kevin showed Jean the articles about Jeremy’s freshman year as warning about being gay in Exy and still all Jean got out of it was Jeremy is Pretty

[dusty-bookelf]

[dusty-bookelf]

Renee’s Necklace and the Significance of it Breaking: the rambling thoughts of a dusty elf on trust and self-discovery in The Golden Raven

The first time Renee is mentioned as touching her necklace is in TRK, followed by this discussion:

The second time it’s mentioned, she gives her infamous: “I’m a bad person trying very hard to be a good person, but I would not be trying at all if not for the outside interventions in my life.”

This establishes her necklace as a symbol of acknowledging your past but not allowing it to define your future, as well as trust and the role of others in the healing process.

In TSC, Jean adds a miracle to his list (a cool evening breeze, rainbows) right after receiving the necklace; the miracles Renee told Jean to help him find himself when he got lost in his own past and trauma. Now, her necklace also (more clearly) represents hanging on when you’re not sure you can hang on. Jean says his faith is frayed, but Renee has enough faith for both of them that he will find little miracles and will learn to take a chance on himself.

Then, in TGR, the necklace breaks. It breaks when Jean’s past is quite literally all around him: Kevin is in his home, Jeremy wants him to be honest, and he was just questioned in an interview about Riko, the Nest, and his parents. He believes the Trojans are going to abandon him. He’s at a point where it seems like everything is falling apart and the necklace breaks.

But then Cat says “We’ll get through this,” and Jeremy says “You are one of my Trojans” and Laila is giving him a new chain and he’s ready. He’s ready to spill some of his secrets, to reveal just a little more of the horrible truth he’d convinced himself he deserved, and feel a little of his grief even though it terrified him. Even Kevin shares some of his hurt, and speaks of his truths (that he isn’t as good as Jean believed) and his trust in Jeremy and the Trojans and Bee.

Kevin takes the water (agrees to try to be better). Fair is fair, Kevin doesn’t drink so Jean has to talk to Betsy even if Jean hates him for it.

And after all of that pain and turmoil, Cat gives him a new chain and a hug. He has a cool evening breeze, rainbows, open roads, and friends who are clinging to him even after he trusted them with some of the worst of his history.

The necklace broke when the weight of his past was starting to get too much, but with trust and love and little miracles, the necklace was fixed. With trust and love and little miracles, some of his broken parts are starting to heal as his friends help him build his own future.

Honestly, I could keep going but this is already far longer than I expect anyone to read so The End

[dusty-bookelf]

Neil Josten really said all cops are bastards but I am too so I’m going to make it their problem and I love him for it

[dusty-bookelf]

These two parallels have me going feral. I love them so much

[dusty-bookelf]

Absolutely hilarious that Kevin showed Jean the articles about Jeremy’s freshman year as warning about being gay in Exy and still all Jean got out of it was Jeremy is Pretty

[dusty-bookelf]

Cat: *pic of Jean with Jabberwocky* a proud father

Cody: does that make Jeremy mommy?

Cat: Obviously

[dusty-bookelf]

TGR SPOILERS!

It’s interesting how Jean’s and Jeremy’s roles change in the end of TGR. Like so much of the story up to the Ravens getting banned was Jeremy helping Jean to realize he didn’t deserve what happened. He didn’t deserve any of it. HE DESERVES TO GET BETTER!

There’s obviously still a lot of work to be done on that front and he’ll never be “cured” of what he went through, but after that night at Rhemann’s and he had to admit he didn’t deserve it, there’s a distinct shift in their dynamic.

Jean takes what Jeremy has been telling him - that he’s not responsible for the actions of others, that he’s forgivable even if he did bad things to survive the Nest, that he didn’t deserve what happened to him - and starts to throw it back at Jeremy. He calls out his mother’s lack of trust, a stark contrast to earlier when Jean didn’t press Jeremy’s family issues because “Jean gave ground to higher authority too readily to encourage rebellion.” He’s baffled by Jeremy being willing to fight for a dog but not his own happiness. And how can we forget “Says the man who refused to care about his own bruises,” followed by “Fuck what I deserve. What about what I want?” It’s a tense moment with a lot of underlying implications, but one of them is Jean’s belief that Jeremy deserves better also. Or better yet, it’s not about being “deserving” of anything, but fighting for happiness and living because you’re alive and you can.

I just think it’s such a big step for Jean that not only is he acknowledging what happened to him, but he’s also starting to recognize unhealthy patterns in the people he cares about and actively help those people as well.

Also, Jeremy has inadvertently set himself up for Jean to call him out on all his self-destructive BS and I can’t wait for TSC #3 when that happens.