dumb blonde gurl

TW ED & SH || 17 || NOT INTERESTED IN REC0VERY DNF || BLOCK DON'T REP0RT

[dvmblondegvrl]

i haven't been in here in like a month or smtg so i guess hey there?

[dvmblondegvrl]

ewww tumblr had an update?!

[dvmblondegvrl]

but basically i've been taking my meds and turns out my anti depressants actually did cure my depression so i've been doing much better. also focused on getting my life together, studying, less fasting and less b/p and sticking to 1000 caIs limit and my life is pretty great. steadily loosing nevertheless.

idk i guess i just stopped desiring being miserable. life gets so much better when u realise depression doesnt make u more "interesting" idk it just was a mindset i struggled with a lot but i fortunately put an end to it.

[dvmblondegvrl]

i haven't been in here in like a month or smtg so i guess hey there?

[dvmblondegvrl]

ewww tumblr had an update?!

[dvmblondegvrl]

i haven't been in here in like a month or smtg so i guess hey there?

[dvmblondegvrl]

just paced around my room for an hour to get to the 10k steps goal. i felt like a completely mad person.

[pussydeity-deactivated20151212]

i just want to be touched really hard

like by a car

hit me with a car 

[dvmblondegvrl]

i feel de4d inside again. my soul is suddendly stripped of all ambitions. but i'm still suppost to carry on like everything is fine.

because everything is actually fine. the only problem is myself.

WAKE UP. WAKE UP. WAKE UP.

my heart is pulsing, my lungs are working. i'm alive. am i? physically at least.

cvt, pvrge, st4rve, rvn, bIeed.

BE ALIVE. WAKE UP. BE ALIVE.

yet my soul never seems to return to its rightful place. my feet still drag themselves across the sidewalk, my body following along. yet i'm nowhere to be found.

not in this world anymore.

[dvmblondegvrl]

media has really made my perception of love so toxic but i can't help my submissive and masochist self of daydreaming about a guy bruising me and chocking me and controlling me. that's all i want <3

[dvmblondegvrl]

fighting the urge rn to do my psychology presentation about €Ds lol. what a great idea! talking about this stuff in front of my entire class for 15 min.

[dvmblondegvrl]

anyone has any idea? i can talk about anything at all regarding psychology, any idea is welcome, i'm totally blank :/

[dvmblondegvrl]

fighting the urge rn to do my psychology presentation about €Ds lol. what a great idea! talking about this stuff in front of my entire class for 15 min.

[dvmblondegvrl]

2022 is gonna be my honeymoon era. both in a lana del rey kinda way, and in an €D kinda way <3

[dvmblondegvrl]

i'm ditching alchool! instead, i just save my prescription piIIs in a box for a couple a weeks, and take like 10 or 15 of them before going out.

i'm so smart!

[dvmblondegvrl]

this stuff is really adding up lol

[dvmblondegvrl]

i'm ditching alchool! instead, i just save my prescription piIIs in a box for a couple a weeks, and take like 10 or 15 of them before going out.

i'm so smart!

[dvmblondegvrl]

rn really glad i’m keeping everyone i know at some distance cause my friend is being shitty and i’m just glad i don’t give two fucks about her atm.

like people are so not dependable, one day they’re hugging u and telling u not to kys cause they love u so much and u’re so important, the next day she ditches me and barely replies to my calls and etc.

first i thought she was just busy but it’s been a cycle for the last year or smtg.

[dvmblondegvrl]

coffee cures my depression. /g

[dumbspaced]

okay so that’s called caffeine addiction,

[dvmblondegvrl]

hey 5 expressos a day is a perfectly reasonable amount of coffee! i feel attacked.

[dvmblondegvrl]

coffee cures my depression. /g

[dvmblondegvrl]

omg ngl i feel a manic episode coming for the first time in weeks finally yey

[dvmblondegvrl]

my mood completely dropped again. now i get to remember how euphoric and happy and hopeful i felt just 24h ago, just so i know what i'm missing.

[dvmblondegvrl]

"trust no one"