Hey {name-removed}, if we don't get a chance to talk again, I wanted to tell you this -- it might help you down the road but I also know you well enough that you won't like hearing it, you might even get mad or sad or just stressed in general. I don't know. But just know I do it out of love and respect for you. I wouldn't be a good friend or former lover (or whatever) if I didn't give you constructive criticism. First of all -- you're a good person -- I know you'll fight with me on that but you are. I believe wholeheartedly that you're a good person. But the reason our relationship didn't work will never be because of your depression. It will never be even because we didn't get along or we weren't a necessary a good match (we never got to be close enough to figure out if we were a good match or not). It will be because you're too scared to be emotionally intimate and because your instinct is to run away from problems/conflict instead of trying to solve them. I like and care for you no matter what but those 2 things will prevent any of your romantic relationships from growing past a certain point. You can never be completely close to someone if you don't let them in. It won't be because you have depression. It won't be because you're not good enough. It won't be because you're a bad person. It will be because you have unresolved attachment issues. I'm not a psychologist, but if I had to guess it's related to unresolved emotions/problems related to your dad leaving you. But only you can figure that out. Whatever sadness I felt has never been related to your depression directly. It was because you kept kicking me out of your life. But I'm also done chasing your companionship, I can't support or help you through it if you don't want to or if you just push me further and further away when I try to move closer. I know it's uncomfortable, but you can never expect to improve or change for the better if you stay in your comfort zone, that's true for anything in life. Relationships take work. Getting good at a hobby takes work. Getting good at a job takes work. I just think you're capable of a lot more than you think, you just tend give up when you reach an obstacle. My goal as your boyfriend was to make you see that but I obviously failed and I lost you because of it. So I hope that you can see your own potential someday.
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